Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
You’ve probably heard the expression, “If the shoe fits, wear it.” This idiom is generally used in a derogatory way, suggesting that if something applies to you, then you should accept it or own up to it.
But maybe it can also be used positively.
I’ve been thinking about the way Kris Allen reacted to the news that he won the American Idol title. His face showed genuine shock and surprise, not only because he seemed to believe Adam Lambert more deserving, but even more because he didn’t believe himself worthy enough.
I want to say to Kris, “Let the shoe fit.” The shoe is rightfully yours. You got the most votes. You won. And yes, I voted for you. So believe it, dog!
What is it that makes us doubt, question or disbelieve our talents, abilities and worthiness?
I can still remember all too well my surprise when a certain someone called me (back in my college days) to ask me out on a date. Who, me? Really? I can’t believe it!
And I still recall attending an award ceremony and listening to honors being read about the next award recipient before my name was called. What? He was talking about me? No way!
I also remember being interviewed among many for a job that I really wanted and how completely and utterly shocked I was when I got it.
Self-confidence is important in almost every aspect of our lives and is one that many people struggle to find. We need to be self-assured in our personal judgment and abilities in order to make wise decisions, strive for goals and become successful.
Self-confidence involves doing what we believe to be right, being willing to take action, admitting mistakes and learning from them, waiting for others to congratulate accomplishments and accepting compliments graciously.
Star-quality confidence is well-deserved by both Kris and Adam!
Humility is an admirable quality — one of strength and purpose — and it should not be mistaken for weakness. Humility is the perfect companion to self-confidence.
A modest estimate of one’s own worth is a good thing, as it means we’re always ready to learn more and become even more successful.
We don’t have to toot our own horn. It’s good to let others discover our talents without us having to boast about them. Humility keeps us assertive in the pursuit of achievement without arrogance.
Perhaps my favorite Biblical character that illustrates the perfect blending of self-confidence and humility is Moses.
Remember how Moses responded when the Lord told him to go to Pharaoh and free the children of Israel. He said, “Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh…” (Exodus 3:11) For every question Moses had, the Lord had an answer. But Moses had a harsh estimate of his own communication skills and said, “O, my Lord, I am not eloquent…I am slow of speech.” (Exodus 4:10) And God said, “I will be with your mouth. I will teach you what to say and do.” (Exodus 4:15)
Although Moses was modest in his opinion of himself, he was confident that his actions were right, and he grew in his confidence and trust in God each step of the way. As his confidence in God grew, his self-confidence also became stronger. But I love that no matter how strong he became as a leader, his humility kept him teachable, flexible and ready to learn a new and better approach to his leadership.
So when opportunity knocks or accolades come our way, let the shoe fit, my friends. No need for surprise or hesitation. God is also with you, giving you everything you need for a successful and happy life. And this includes talents and abilities that are uniquely yours. Believe it!
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
This was the question my daughter recently asked on her online journal. For her, the indecision was about which field of study to select for her next Master’s degree.
I suspect we’ve all been faced with indecision at various points in our life.
My mamma told me long ago that if I’m questioning a decision or choice, then is the time to step back and sleep on it before moving forward. Of course when she shared this bit of wisdom with me, she was hoping it would stop me from making wrong choices as a teenager. And it did work pretty well I must say — when I listened to my intuition. When we have a strong instinct that we should not do something, we probably should not do it.
There isn’t a perfect formula that will assure we will always make the best decision. But a good ‘ole pros and cons list is always a good thing to do.
It’s rarely — probably never actually — true that there is only one course of action to take. So when considering a decision, list your options — any and all alternatives that come to mind. Don’t take the time to evaluate while you’re doing this kind of possibility thinking.
Since it’s often helpful to approach a decision from as many perspectives as possible, don’t just ask friends and family members for their ideas — ask strangers as well.
The goal is to choose a course of action that is the most reasonable and balanced. So be sure to weigh the possible outcomes. Visualize the result you hope for. You want to feel comfortable with your decision. You want to feel what is right. Don’t question what feels right with logic.
I have an example of this. We were trying to select fabric to have our living room furniture upholstered. I loved a certain fabric — its color, pattern, the way it felt. But logic kept telling me I should select a different fabric that was probably more durable and potentially longer-lasting. I did. And I never liked my decision. Unfortunately, I was stuck with that furniture for a few more years and was so happy when I was finally able to buy new. When I did, I bought exactly what I wanted without analyzing its practicality.
What we don’t want to do is get stuck wavering between two possible courses of action and remain unable to decide, move or act. Hesitating, wavering and waffling are often seedlings of fear that can become habit-forming. Indecision is a decision to do nothing — not the decision we want to make.
Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “Each individual must fill his own niche in time and eternity.” I love the word — must — in this statement of promise. I love the assurance that there must be a right decision, a right place, a right choice for each of us at all times. That includes right now — at this very moment.
Perhaps sometimes we get so focused on trying to make decisions for tomorrow, we neglect today. Maybe we need to begin our decisions today — making the most of the present moment, our present situation, our present job, our present home and so forth.
Sometimes, too, we can get so busy analyzing all of our options and possible outcomes, that we don’t ask God what His will for us is. He most certainly has a perfect divine plan for all of His creation. The problem is that we don’t always ask, listen or follow His direction.
Remember the story of Moses leading the children of Israel out of Egypt. We read that “the Lord went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by day and night:” (Exodus 13:21) It took them a long time to reach their Promised Land because they relented many times to fears and doubts and stopped trusting in God’s guidance.
I feel certain that God is leading each of us each day. And we can each reach our divine heights as we follow and trust His lead. But we must ask and listen first — moment by moment, step by step.
Yoda, the most powerful Jedi Master of the Star Wars universe, assured a young Luke Skywalker — and it works for us, too: “The answers are within you.” And so they are. God places the right answers in our heart. Trust your heart. God will enable you to feel what the best decision is.
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
There have been many times in my life when I’ve allowed shyness to hold me back. There were the boys in school that I longed to be friends with, but I would never dare make eye contact with them. There was the part in the school play I would have loved to have auditioned for, but I didn’t. There were the questions the teacher asked I could have answered, but I never raised my hand.
It doesn’t matter how you define it, shyness is rooted in fear. Fear of rejection, humiliation, loss or failure incites shyness — or perhaps I could say — insecurity.
It’s no different than when we allow ourselves to become introverted, sheepish, timid and guarded after a relationship ends badly or unexpectedly. If it was a bad experience, we may be questioning our judgment and doubting our ability to make a better choice in the future. If death ended a relationship, we may be afraid we will face loss and grief again. Either way, the result is probably the same — shyness that results in being cowardly, wary and alone.
The problem with being shy is that the impact is far-reaching. We are not the only one who loses or is hurt.
Not long ago I read an article about a basketball coach who explained how hesitation and timidity leads to passing the ball. He said, “If a player has an open shot that she can make, and she decides to pass instead, that player is being selfish and hurting the team.” Fear of failure sheltered this basketball player from her likely success, the coach further explained, and could have cost her team the game win.
Indeed, other people need you. They need your intelligence, insight, skills, talents and help. Hiding behind shyness, you limit the benefit you can be to others.
Shyness almost always leads to assumptions and assumptions are almost always wrong. This is especially true when we believe that the other person will not like us or will not be interested in what we have to say. Our fear will intimidate us into missing an opportunity to make a new friend. The fact is other people may have the same fears and inhibitions we do.
I’ve often been inspired by the story of Ruth in the Bible. Ruth was described as a warmhearted and unselfish woman who trusted and loved her mother-in-law very much. After Ruth’s husband passed away suddenly, Ruth traveled with her mother-in-law back to her homeland.
This was a more gracious act by Ruth than it might sound. Her mother-in-law, Naomi, was not only a widow, but all of her sons had died as well. She would have been traveling alone to her homeland if Ruth had not returned with her. Plus, Ruth had to be courageous to go to an unfamiliar land and be around people she had never met before — especially during a time when she was facing her own grief and uncertainty as a young widow.
I love the fact that Ruth was willing to embrace a new experience. She didn’t over-think or speculate about her future. She didn’t wallow in her doubts. And even though she had no certainty of what would happen next in her life, she moved forward.
Ruth and Naomi arrived at their destination. Among strangers in a strange land, Ruth could have been apprehensive, anxious, nervous and cautious, but she wasn’t. She boldly took initiative to gather food in nearby fields. She even, without hesitation, asked one of the women gleaning grain near her for the name of the man who spoke kindly as he went by. It turns out the man, Boaz, was the owner of the field.
And I bet you can guess the happy ending to this story. Ruth and Boaz soon married and Ruth’s mother-in-law lived with them and helped care for the son they eventually had. Their son, by the way, would become the grandfather to the famous King David.
Sometimes a shy person will say self-consciousness keeps them quiet. But I would say — what self are you being conscious of?
You are the man and woman of God’s creating — made in His image. Your innate nature includes the qualities of poise, confidence, strength, courage, compassion, love. Be true to yourself, my friends. Happiness is found in being who God made you to be.
You can do it. Your thinking is your most powerful weapon. Use it. Follow your heart. Don’t hide your light and love. Be the spiritual self that God intended. Don’t be shy. Be yourself — freely, unconditionally and fearlessly. You’ll be much happier if you do.
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
There’s nothing like a mother’s hug!
Remember the days when the only thing that would console you was being held tight in your mother’s embrace? It didn’t matter if you were afraid, sad, hurt, disappointed or sick, once you were tucked into your mom’s arms, everything suddenly seemed much better. You felt safe, loved, comforted and protected. And you knew that somehow, in some way, everything would be okay.
Of course, we don’t always have our mother around to give her miraculous hug. She may live a thousand miles away or maybe she has passed on. It could be that your mom now needs you to care for and comfort her.
Maybe the child you thought was happily married, suddenly comes back home not so happy and in need of your encouragement and guidance. Or the spouse you’ve depended upon for support and strength unexpectedly needs you to take charge. Or perhaps you have other family members and friends looking to you for help.
You want to help. You want to be whatever anyone needs you to be. But sometimes it all just feels a bit much — more than you can handle. You find yourself longing to be safe and snug in your mother’s hug.
I’ve been reminded that “mothering” isn’t limited to adults or exclusive to mothers. I remember when my daughter was very small. When she saw me sad or upset, she would put her little arms around me and pat my back and say, “It will be okay, Mommy.” And in that moment, I would know she was right.
There have been many times I’ve walked into my house and plopped down on my sofa feeling discouraged or frustrated. About that time, my dog would jump into my lap and lick my hand, as if to say, “Don’t worry. I’m here for you. Everything will be okay.” And in that moment, I would know it would be.
And certainly there have been even more times when all I needed to feel reassured was the tender — dare I say motherly — embrace of my husband.
Maybe we can’t always have our mother’s hug. But that doesn’t mean we can’t feel the same assurance we felt in her arms.
The Bible says, “For thus saith the Lord, As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you…” (Isaiah 66:13) I love thinking of God as mother — especially when I really need a hug.
Like as a mother, God is right there with us to pick us up when we skin our knee, when we have a bad dream, when we feel picked on and bullied, and when we have a tummy ache. His comfort — or perhaps I could say Her comfort — is a promise. In fact, the Bible verse in Isaiah continues, “…and ye shall be comforted.”
So what does it mean to be comforted by God?
It means fears are allayed, worries are relieved, anxieties are put to ease, and burdens are lightened. Outlooks brighten, spirits refresh, faith is reassured, hope is restored, solace is revived and courage is bolstered.
God meets our needs just like an attentive and ardent mother. We are never alone or without help and support. Realizing God’s gentle ever-presence — feeling His motherly love for us — will make all things better.
Whether it’s our mother’s hug, our child’s arms around us, our puppy snuggling with us or our spouse’s embrace — all are wonderful examples of God’s mothering love for us. We can never be separated from God’s love. And we can feel this love embracing us right now — wherever we are — assuring all is well, all will be well, all must be well.
Basking in God’s love — His tenderness, compassion, wisdom, strength, protection and warmth — is like getting a big hug from your mom. And there’s nothing like a hug from your Father-Mother God!
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
It seems in most every aspect of life, people are searching for answers, help and relief. We may often begin our search by examining the symptoms of a problem. Perhaps many believe that this process will help identify the cause of some phenomenon so that we can determine how to treat the situation.
In my recent prayers for some family members, an inspiration came to me that has changed how I approach my prayer regarding problems.
Various loved ones were (and some still are) struggling with physical illness and disabilities. Some have received a medical diagnosis, and others are afraid of getting one, fearing what it might be.
In trying to console a family member who was about to get a diagnosis that would reveal whether a tumor was benign, I pondered the meaning of “diagnosis.” The short definition could be simply stated as an “opinion.” Or a longer way to give a definition could be — “the evaluation of history, symptoms or signs and a review of data in order to reach an opinion or conclusion.”
The key word for me was – opinion. Somehow this word suddenly made an unwanted medical diagnosis less horrifying or daunting. And here’s why…
I spiritually reasoned that any opinion — or diagnosis — that is not the same as what God would say, think, know or conclude about his beloved children is always a misdiagnosis.
For me, this conclusion — although simply stated — has become very powerful, reassuring and hopeful.
I’ve decided that the only way I can approach my prayers is to begin with what I believe God knows as well as wants for his children. I believe that this approach is based upon what is spiritually and eternally true about God and His children. So, consequently, any other opinion or fear could never change, replace or destroy the spiritual truth.
I shared these thoughts with my family member, and she later told me they helped her gain a peace of mind before she went in for the examination and further testing. Gratefully, the tumors (it turned out to be more than one) were all medically determined to be benign.
My prayers that continue for other family members are holding firm to what I believe is the God-view for each one of them. No one can ever make me believe that a loving and good God wants his children to suffer.
I can’t help but consider how Jesus healed, and I recall that many times he didn’t even know the nature or name of the illness or condition. I read again about the dear woman who the Bible says had an issue of blood for twelve years and who had apparently been to many physicians in search of a cure. (Luke 8:43-48) Jesus didn’t know her plight before he healed her. She told him her story after she was healed.
I have to believe that Jesus must have maintained a spiritual point of view of everyone he saw regardless of the physical evidence or what opinions might be. This spiritual viewpoint would have surely been based upon what God sees and knows. And this point of view was transforming and healing and didn’t require an analysis of the problem.
Beginning with a focus on a problem, or sometimes many problems, has often been overwhelming. So much so in fact, that I have found it difficult to even know where to turn or how to begin to find a solution or make progress.
But as I approach a problem with first pondering what God would say or know, fears are calmed, hope is encouraged, fresh answers are discovered and in some instances, healings have been experienced and witnessed.
Don’t ever give up hope, my friends. God loves you. God sees infinite possibilities for your life. He knows your perfection. He discerns your unlimited potential. He is aware of your many talents and abilities. He is conscious only of your wholeness and goodness.
Anything that would have you believe otherwise is a misdiagnosis!
