Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Change is the word of the day or perhaps even the year. But change what, why and how?
Change for the mere sake of change can be meaningless and sometimes destructive. Without a defined purpose, change is a hollow word. One definition of change means to become different. It doesn’t specify whether the difference will be for better or worse.
This is probably why some say beware of change simply for the sake of change. Although too much change can be pointless or even dangerous, too little change results in stagnation, idleness, and laziness. Both usually lack reason and vision.
For many, a new year includes new beginnings, and a new beginning often requires a change of some sort. A change is usually needed to not repeat past mistakes. But perhaps a new beginning is not so much a call for a change as it is a call for correction, progress, growth, improvement, reform.
A change in one’s point of view is usually required in order to gain a new outlook. And a new perspective promises to result in fresh ideas, unforeseen opportunities, exciting inspirations and bold revelations.
Some folks caution, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” But I for one have often welcomed the idea of change and making changes. Before I met my husband, my life had long been filled with changes.
My mom and I moved frequently, so there wasn’t one location or house I thought of as home. Home was wherever my mom was. Every time we moved, we cleaned out and disposed of any unnecessary or unwanted items to make room for the new. My mom said this helped us rid ourselves of clutter and make the most of our new space. So our many changes in where we lived helped us to be more productive, efficient and creative.
Regardless of where we were living or how long we had lived there, my New Year tradition included rearranging and redecorating my room. There were usually new items received at Christmas to find a place for. So I enjoyed cleaning out my room and also rearranging the furniture and changing the wall décor, too.
Was it absolutely necessary that I make all the changes to my room each year? Probably not. But somehow making the changes was invigorating and encouraged my high anticipation for a New Year filled with new experiences and discoveries.
Although I have lived with my husband in the same house for 28 years now, I have still continued my New Year tradition, even if only in small ways. To make room for Christmas decorations each year requires that I pack up and store various home décor. So my fun begins when packing up Christmas decorations. As I unpack all my stored home décor, I rearrange where I place items, finding new ways to use old things. It’s always amazing to me how making simple changes can make the old feel new again.
For me, change has been more of a good thing rather than bad. This is not to say I’ve not experienced difficult changes that required challenging adjustments. Deaths of family members and friends as well as moves that involved separation from good friends or family were not easy changes. And there have been times when I was forced to change schools or a job before I wanted to.
My life experiences have convinced me, however, that when one door closes, another opens. I believe God is always with us guiding and moving us forward. And God provides comfort and encouragement as well as infinite opportunities and possibilities. There are always new discoveries to be made and growth to be experienced.
Remember this, my friends, when you are faced with changes. You may discover that it’s often your own perspective which keeps you from seeing an open door. And you may find a change in direction can lead you to the perfect occasion, the right set of circumstances or a golden opportunity.
Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
Do you believe this?
Usually on Christmas Eve, my family watches the movie, White Christmas, but this year we opted to change our tradition and watched Frank Capra’s legendary It’s a Wonderful Life. Honestly, it had been years since I had seen this inspiring movie.
The story focuses on the desperate and despondent George Bailey played by James Stewart. As you may recall, George mistakenly believes that those he loves will be better off if he were dead, and while contemplating suicide, he even asserts that it would be better for his friends and family if he had never been born.
Fortunately, George has a guardian angel who comes to his rescue and illustrates what the lives of his loved ones and his entire town would have been like if he had never been born. And it’s not good! It turns out that George made the lives of those in his town “wonderful,” and without him people he cared about would either be dead, ruined or miserable.
In one example that illustrated the connectedness of our lives, George saved his younger brother from drowning in childhood, which led to his brother saving the lives of hundreds during World War II. The angel shows George that if he had never been born, his brother would have drowned and hundreds of people would have been killed in the war because his brother would not have been there to save them.
As I think about the new year that is upon us, this movie has reminded me how united and conjoined our lives are to one another — that your life and mine are important and matter to those around us. And I am pondering how my life can indeed make a more positive difference to others during the year ahead.
Imagine the paradigm shift if everyone understood the impact of their actions and words. I cannot help but think that if we believed what we say and do really “matters,” we would destroy apathy and foster empathy and compassion, turning inaction into effective, healing acts.
The movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, beautifully demonstrates the importance of our lives and how we have the potential to make a great difference in the lives of everyone with whom we meet and interact.
Jesus taught the importance of each one of us in his parable of a hundred sheep. He asked, “What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he finds it?” And he continued, “And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.” (Luke 15:4-6)
Truly each of us is precious in His sight — equally important, needed and necessary! Not one is expendable. By our very existence, we make a difference in the world. With every word we speak and every action we take, we impact those around us for better or for worse. Our opinions, beliefs and prayers affect those we embrace in our thoughts. Indeed, we each have the power to make a positive difference in the lives of others.
The life of George Bailey is an example of how we make a difference in the lives of everyone around us whether we believe we do or not. But imagine the possibilities when we understand that we do make a difference and that we want that difference to be good.
Therefore friends, if you take the words of Mahatma Gandhi to heart and resolve to “Be the difference you want to see in the world,” what a wonderful New Year this will be!
Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
How do you define yourself? As a mother, daughter, wife, husband, dad, or a son? Or perhaps as a student, teacher, manager, farmer, salesman?
Every day you create your own self-portrait. You name the image you see in the mirror and assign various qualities and attributes that you think go with your title. Then you act accordingly.
Your picture may be influenced by others’ perceptions, however, or by what you believe others think about you or expect from you. And you are likely to allow past experiences — your failures and successes — to further dictate and determine your abilities and your limitations.
What happens when your profile changes? Your kids are suddenly grown and move away from home. You get laid off from your job or you reach mandatory retirement. Your marriage ends in divorce or a spouse passes on.
Nothing can be more daunting than trying to reconfigure yourself, reinvent your life, and redefine your future — especially when the task arrives unexpectedly.
A new year is upon you. You must make a new beginning. Your old narrative no longer fits. You’re standing at a new road titled “self-discovery,” but reluctance, fear and lack of confidence is keeping you from moving up a street you’ve never been on. You are either unwilling to give yourself an overhaul or you’re clueless how to begin.
But perhaps what’s needed isn’t about defining a new you but rather discovering the true you — your identity as created by your heavenly Father.
This kind of self-discovery results in learning more about your “true” nature as it is divinely intended — without human conjecture, opinion, or critique.
There’s a phrase in the Bible that has given me a glimpse of how God views His children: the “…dearly beloved and longed for…” (Philippians 4:1) Thinking of myself as God’s dearly beloved and longed for helped me begin a new career when a former job of eight years ended. This was also at the same time my only child left for college.
Knowing I was the beloved of the Lord made me certain God only wanted good for His child. And the idea that God longed for someone like me assured there was still a purpose for my life, even though at first it was difficult to imagine myself doing something new and different.
It turns out the mirror can’t tell us about the image and likeness of God — that’s you and me, by the way. (Genesis 1:27) Only by learning more about God and His nature can we understand our own identity as created in His image and likeness.
As you become in touch with your true spiritual nature, nothing is beyond your means. You get a sense of your unlimited potential. You understand that your purpose never ends because it is ever being defined and directed by your Creator. And you can approach each moment with the knowledge that it contains within it, the potential for any number of possibilities.
Indeed, you can begin the New Year with a new you or rather with knowledge of the true you — the “you” that is always seen in His eyes. And this knowledge can change your life — again and again.
Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
There’s something about Christmas that has always brought dreams of all that I longed and hoped for.
And it seems I’m not the only one who’s had Christmas dreams. Clara dreamed of her Nutcracker Prince coming to life. Children had visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. And others dreamed of home and a white Christmas. And everyone undoubtedly hopes the dreams they dare to dream today will come true!
Twenty-nine years ago Karen Carpenter sang words that resonated with my girlish dreams: “Merry Christmas, darling. We’re apart, that’s true. But I can dream and in my dreams I’m Christmasing with you.”
Even though I had not yet met my darling, I remember trying to imagine him — along with the day we would meet.
It was a “different” holiday season for me that year. My mother had remarried, and suddenly all of our family traditions were changed. I came home from college, only to leave again with my mother and her new husband to spend Christmas at his mother’s house along with his children.
It was Christmas Eve. Everyone had gone to bed, and I was trying to sleep on the sofa in front of the Christmas tree. I had just nestled in for the long winter’s night when the Carpenter’s song played on the radio.
I pondered how different this Christmas was from the previous year that I had spent mostly with my boyfriend’s family. We had broken up since then, and once again I was dreaming of when I would meet the man of my dreams.
Christmas in any age brings the promise of dreams fulfilled. I can’t think about the coming of the promised Messiah without being encouraged and strengthened by hope and grand expectations. So my dreams for love in my life were grounded in the knowledge that God’s unconditional and boundless love for His children could not help but mean my life would be filled with love.
I was learning to accept my mom’s marriage because I yearned very much for her to be happy, and I certainly wished her life to be filled with love, too.
Granted, I knew companionship and love could be expressed in many ways — not only in the form of a husband. Since the break-up with my boyfriend, I was rekindling friendships I had neglected, trying to be a good “big sister” to younger dorm mates, spending more time with family members and doing community service. So I wasn’t feeling lonely.
That Christmas Eve I was not merely longing for the day I would meet my dream man but looking forward to that day — a day I felt was soon to come. My dreams were packed with conviction and confidence.
One lesson I had learned well taught me that expectation of good enables one to recognize good when it appears. That same lesson taught me when one is gloomy and depressed, it is possible to miss the good that may be right in front of you.
I was quite certain that our heavenly Father promises our dreams will come true. Maybe not always in the exact way we imagine but always better than we dream. This is, of course, because God’s plan for good is always grander than our often limited vision.
I did meet the man of my dreams about six months later. And we met in the most unexpected way and moment. I could never have dreamed it! By Christmas Eve, we were announcing our engagement. That was twenty-eight years ago this year!
Don’t give up on your dreams, my friends. Keep your faith strong and certain. Change is sometimes needed in order for the best to come along. May all your Christmas dreams come true this Christmas and the whole year through.
Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
We bought our Christmas tree today. Picking out a tree the weekend following Thanksgiving has long been our family tradition. But I have many friends who started their Christmas traditions earlier than normal this year. They just couldn’t wait to swing into the spirit of the season.
I’ve heard this desire voiced by strangers at my hairdresser’s shop, too. It seems there is an anxious longing to ease economic stress and worries, which has prompted some to get out their holiday decorations and music before Thanksgiving.
For many, Christmas brings a happy and blissful feeling, and yet for others, Christmas brings only sad memories and depression. Or this is what I believed before I began writing this column.
I have long held the opinion that an overdose of Christmas cheer generally pushes those teetering on the mental health brink over the edge. I had assumed that those who were “without” were depressed by those “with” — sometimes to the point of suicide. In fact, I was certain that the month of December was America’s psychologically most-menacing month, and I would have guessed that our nation’s highest suicide rate was on Christmas Day.
After doing a bit of research, however, I find evidence that suggests — as one study put it — “holiday depression is about as real as a red-nosed reindeer.”
Indeed, studies verify our national suicide rate in December has been either average or below average. One study cited the national average rate of suicides as 34 per million, with the average rate on Christmas Day as 30 per million. And the lowest point of the year was identified as taking place during the one to two weeks prior to Christmas.
While one suicide is one too many, I’m ashamed to admit that I was surprised that the national average was even as low as it is. I say ashamed because I think my surprise suggests that I need more faith in myself and my fellow human beings and our ability to cope with adversity. But I was heartened to learn that Christmas day and the days preceding it often have a lower number of people who feel inclined to end their lives.
I’m not dismissing the struggles some may be dealing with or the immense sadness some may be honestly feeling at Christmas or any other time. Still, I’m not sure why I have ever accepted that some troubles could be too overwhelming to recover from when my own personal experiences have taught me better.
My Christmases have not always been filled with merry gatherings and acquiring the gifts of my dreams. I can recall at least three family deaths that occurred in the days just prior to Christmas and a separation from almost all of my family during another Christmas. Many divorces among my family members have regrettably changed the face of our get-togethers over the years. And plenty of Christmas celebrations that were financially strained and even one when I was homeless.
But yet through them all, Christmas brought hope, peace, joy, fresh inspiration and comfort as well as the promise of a more prosperous and satisfying New Year.
Certainly I’ve lamented when loved ones were missing. And coping with change has often not been easy. But for me, Christmas has always helped to make everything brighter rather than the opposite.
Perhaps it’s the remembrance Christmas brings of the coming of a promised Saviour. I suspect it is the fulfilling of that divine promise that brings reassurance at Christmastime today. The gift of Christ Jesus was God’s most precious gift to humanity — a gift that is always with us. His healing message affirmed we are not frail, fear-driven mortals but rather spiritually strong, immortal sons and daughters of our heavenly Father. This is encouraging news!
So, if you are one of those who is struggling to feel the promise of a better tomorrow or you’re feeling very alone, please remember that just as God kept his promise long ago and sent His son to be our Saviour, He will continue to send His children — you and me — whatever we need to lift us out of the deep pit we may feel trapped in.
