Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
No more can I say I’m approaching the half century mark. That day finally arrived recently, and I find myself asking what happened to all the things I’ve always wanted to do in my life.
It seems that I’m asking this question with the disheartened assumption that somehow it’s too late, that there isn’t enough time left to start something or reach a new goal or be whatever it was I wanted to be when I grew up.
In my weariness the other day, I shared my question with my daughter. In her encouraging way, she asked me, “What would you like to do?” Then she insisted, “Do it!”
She also shared one of her favorite quote books with me which her dad and I gave to her when she graduated high school. She pointed out a quote on one of its pages which gives a list of accomplishments by various people:
“At age 7, Mozart wrote his first symphony. At 12, Shane Gould won an Olympic medal. At 14, Leann Rimes topped the country music charts. At 17, Joan of Arc led an army in defense of Europe. At 57, Ray Kroc founded McDonalds. At 71, Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel. At 80, George Burns won his first Oscar. At 104, Cal Evans wrote his first book on the American West. (I believe in you compiled by Dan Zadra)
According to this list, it seems one is never too young or too old to achieve something new!
Then I came across a statement made by William James who was a 19th-century American psychologist and philosopher and also the brother of novelist Henry James. He wrote, “Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.”
That reminded me of something a friend once shared with me. She was telling me about a senior friend of hers who was in his nineties and was remodeling his house. She asked him why he was remodeling his house, and he said because he would take his concept of home into eternity with him. And he wanted his sense of home to be something that was current, progressive, fresh and new.
So what are some of the things I’ve always wanted to do and haven’t done yet?
I’ve always wanted to write a book. I’ve also dreamed of being a songwriter. I’m always thinking how cool it would be to invent something that would prove to be an indispensable product for many consumers. I’d love to remodel some historic building, run an art gallery, share a business with my daughter and write a book with her, too.
There are many places I’ve never been to and many things I’ve never done. I’m certain I’ve not yet become the person I’ve always wanted to be. But on that note, maybe we’re always in the state of “becoming,” and we never reach the point where we say, “There’s nothing more for us to learn or experience.”
You and I wouldn’t be eating Big Macs if Ray Kroc had thought there was nothing more for him to do just because he had turned 50. He had seven years to go before he would establish the first McDonalds. And I guess I still have another 54 years to get my first book published. I don’t see painting or acting on my horizon, but then again — who knows! Perhaps there’s some talent yet to be discovered and unleashed that I don’t know about.
I’m starting to get the picture. Living the life of our dreams never reaches a final destination. Our lifetime is always ahead of us. The journey continues. Since progress is God’s law, we will always be learning, growing, exploring, discovering and accomplishing. The best is always yet to be.
If we don’t do something, that something may never get done!
Let’s never stop believing in ourselves, in our potential, in the possibilities for our life, in our dreams, in our hopes. God never sees a young or old you. He only sees his beloved you.
I’m always telling my daughter to never stop dreaming and to never stop striving to accomplish her dreams. I guess I need to heed my own advice!
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
Amazon.com boasts more than 200,000 titles on the subject of happiness. Yet with all the reading we’re doing, many of us will still say we haven’t found it yet. Some say a deep longing for happiness is at the heart of the desire for money, fame and power. Perhaps the best advice anyone could give us is to stop waiting for happiness to come galloping over the next horizon.
From my own experience, I’ve concluded that happiness is not found in our trying to be someone different than who we are nor is it found in running from here to somewhere else. And happiness is not found in the things we desire nor is it based on conditions.
Lately however, I’ve realized that happiness is always within our reach, but to have it we must sometimes take a stand and mentally fight for our divine right to be happy.
This is not a new discovery or one only discovered by me. I’ve found several other folks who have reached a similar conclusion. Such as Abraham Lincoln, who said, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” And Roman Emperor Marcus Antonius who said, “No man is happy who does not think himself so.” Or English Journalist Roger L’Estrange when he said, “It is not the place nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.”
I realize some of you may be skeptical at the idea that you could be happy regardless of your conditions and circumstances. I know I’ve had many times in my life when I’ve sighed and lamented, “What is there to be happy about?” This question is generally followed by my long list of reasons why I can’t possibly be happy.
But time and again in my life, I have indeed proven to myself that a change in attitude and viewpoint leads to a change in perspective and outlook which consequently and inevitably results in improved situations.
I love the old story of the gatekeeper, which for me beautifully drives home the idea that your thoughts will make you happy or unhappy no matter where you are.
There was a gatekeeper to a small town. One day a visitor came to the gate and asked, “What kind of town is this?”
The gatekeeper asked the visitor, “From what kind of town did you come?”
The inquirer reported his town was one of dissatisfaction, disharmony and disgust to which the gatekeeper responded, “You will find this town to be the same.”
Sadly, the visitor went on his way somewhere else.
The next day another visitor arrived at the gate and asked the gatekeeper about his town.
And again the gatekeeper asked, “From what kind of town did you come?”
This visitor gave a glowing report of his former home telling of the love, the sharing and the goodwill of its inhabitants.
To this report the gatekeeper exclaimed, “Come in! This place will be just as that from which you came.”
As I said earlier, I’ve concluded happiness is not found in the running from here to somewhere else. Whether here or somewhere else, happiness must be found within or we’ll never permanently be happy. You take with you what you’ve packed!
I’ve decided that happiness must be as consciously practiced as gratitude, forgiveness and kindness. And as with everything else, the more we practice it, the better we get at it. And when need be, we must defend and argue for our divine right to be happy and not allow anything to rob us or stop us from being happy.
The Psalmist proclaims, “This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms 118:24) A couple of verses prior to this one give us some reasons why our divine right to happiness is assured. “The Lord is on our side.” (Psalms 118:6) “The Lord is our strength and song.” (Psalms 118:14)
Two of the biggest deterrents to our happiness begin with “I can’t” or “I could if.” Let’s try beginning our day with “I will” and see what happens. And remember — God wants us all to be happy. That means being happy ourselves and bringing happiness to others around us.
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
Yes, like the popular country song by Trace Adkins says, “Ladies love country boys.” I couldn’t agree more. My mamma raised me to be a “lady” just like the song says of its heroine. Most of my growing up years were in the big city of Dallas where I attended the largest schools in the city at that time. My youthful years were filled with theater, dance, musicals and symphony.
Perhaps you could imagine my mamma’s surprise when I announced I was marrying a country boy from a small North Texas town and was going to live on his family’s cattle ranch. She has often joked that she didn’t raise me to get my hands dirty, so she had a difficult time imagining me living in the country.
Actually, my husband grew up in the big city, too, but his parents bought the ranch when he was five years old, so he spent most weekends and summers of his growing up years in the country doing what country boys do. My husband’s family moved to the country full-time after he graduated from high school. One thing is for certain — my husband grew up with the love of the country in his mind, body and soul. So there was never any question where he and his wife would live after he married — not in his mind anyway.
My purpose with this column is to explain a little bit about why city girls love country boys or at least why this city girl loves her country boy. And I want to talk about what makes a country boy a great father. In doing so, I plan to praise some of the many endearing qualities of my own country boy. And for any of you young gals out there looking for a husband and future father for your children, you may want to consider these qualities as requisite.
Good manners, dependability and honesty are the first three qualities that occur to me. My country boy always says “Please” when he asks his daughter or me to do anything and everything and says “Thank you” afterwards. When he makes a promise, he keeps it. When he says he will do something, he does it. When you need his help, he’s ready and willing. And when he gives you a compliment, he really means it. He doesn’t throw compliments around casually, mind you. If you need the truth, ask him and the truth is what you’ll get. It may not be exactly what you want to hear, but he gives his honest opinion and viewpoint in a gentle and kind manner.
My husband is also sincere, trustworthy, candid, straight-forward, plain-spoken, genuine, truehearted and square-shooting. All of which makes him a bona fide country boy and a great husband and daddy.
Did I say patient? My most favorite daddy-daughter memory was when my husband would come in the house after a long, hot day working outside. He would immediately be greeted by our little daughter who had comb and spray-bottle in hand ready to give her daddy what she called a “wet and wild” hairdo. And of course he obliged his daughter’s request for him to sit on the floor.
When I think of my dear husband, I can’t help but think God is smiling and saying “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 17:5)
Now don’t get me wrong. My husband is not always the most perfect husband and dad. Like the rest of us, he makes mistakes and doesn’t always make the best choices. But nothing can take away the goodness God instilled in him. And that’s true of you and me, too. Our innate goodness can’t be lost or robbed from us either.
Maybe we forget sometimes to let our better qualities guide us. And maybe we get down on ourselves when we fail to live up to our divine potential.
But my southern roots promise “tomorrow is another day.” If God isn’t keeping score of our mistakes, why should we? Didn’t Jesus teach us how to amend for our faults and flaws when he said, “Go and sin no more”? (John 8:11)
So here’s wishing all you dads out there a happy Father’s Day — country dads and city dads. You’re all good in God’s eyes!
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
It had been a really bad day. I found myself caught up in a plethora of emotions ranging from betrayal, hurt and disappointment to anger. My dismay and anguish might have been beyond relief if it had not been for the happy yelp and wagging tail of the little dachshund that met me as I walked through my door.
After spending a couple of hours holding my puppy in my lap and being lavished with extravagant licks, I suddenly realized that my world didn’t seem so terribly wronged. My peace of mind that hours earlier seemed forever disturbed was returning. I could feel a calmness taking over that was allowing me to once again think rationally and clearly.
A recent study conducted at Queen’s University, Belfast, Ireland shows that the dog may truly be man’s best friend. The research found that people with canine companions tend to have lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels and fewer medical problems. And, they tend to recover more quickly from serious illness. One of the report’s conclusions states that dogs can directly promote our well being by buffering us from stress. I certainly felt much better after I spent quality time with my doxey!
I always feel an unconditional love and unquestionable loyalty when I’m in her presence. She appears unconscious of my faults, failures or weaknesses. Thank goodness! Her faithfulness is never fleeting — it has no strings attached. Her love continues day after day and is freely given.
As I sat there cherishing the moments spent with my dachshund, I thought to myself: “Who else but this little dog loves me unconditionally?” It was in that moment as I basked in the love of my dog, that I remembered there was another who loved me like this — God.
It’s really no surprise that God loves you and me constantly, faithfully and without conditions, since God is Love. There’s a parable which Jesus shares that for me epitomizes God as Love while teaching lessons about what it means to love and be loved.
I suspect many of you will know this story as the parable of the prodigal son. (Luke 15:11-32) But there was another son in that story I don’t always remember. The parable begins in fact, “There was once a man who had two sons.”
The younger of the two sons asked his dad to give him his inheritance early because he wanted to leave home to go out on his own. But this younger son didn’t make wise decisions and eventually wasted all of his money. It wasn’t until he was starving and slopping pigs for his living, that he decided to go home and ask his dad if he would hire him, since he no longer felt worthy of being treated as a son. At least his dad fed his hired servants three meals a day!
But when the dad saw this young son whom he had given up for dead, he felt only love for his child. This dad saw no faults, failures or weaknesses in his son. He saw only a much beloved son whom he wanted to embrace.
All the years since the younger son left, the older son had remained ever faithful and diligent in service to his dad. Now this older son felt unappreciated by his dad as he watched him celebrating his brother’s return after he had wasted everything their dad had given to him.
But again, this patient and compassionate dad reminded this older son of his appreciation for his faithfulness and said, “Everything that is mine is yours.” But he also told his older son that it was right to celebrate the safe return of his younger brother.
Because that is what Love does — Love loves.
As I thought about God’s love for me, I knew He was giving no concern to the faults, failures and weaknesses that were mine — or those of others. God was too busy loving me and everyone to see anything less than His beloved children.
And I thought, “Perhaps I need to do the same. Maybe I could forgive and forget what I consider someone else’s fault and failure — and I can do this because I love them.” I also realized that I could forgive and forget what I was considering my fault and failure in the situation because I needed to love myself in the way that God loves me.
Interestingly enough, as I sat there feeling quite loved by my dog and very loved by God, it was not long before I could feel nothing else but love. And what was a very bad day was transformed into a doggone good one!
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
My husband and I were hiking through a redwood forest in the southwestern tip of Oregon — an incredible experience that I highly recommend. It was a bright sunny summer day, although you couldn’t tell it as we journeyed through a forest so dense it allowed only a trickle of sunlight to peer in.We came to a section of the forest where many of the big trees were hollow. In fact, I took a picture of my husband standing inside one of these trees. This tree was so big in its hollow center that I suspect a dozen or more people could have stood beside him.
We met a local resident who was also enjoying a hike on this beautiful day, and we asked him about the trees. We learned that a forest fire had actually hollowed out the trees. I would never have guessed these huge, healthy trees had ever encountered anything destructive.
This man seemed to know quite a bit about the redwood as he explained the trees had a tough exterior that was almost impenetrable to fire. He said the redwood trees were so tough that even if only a small part remains alive after a fire, the tree still flourishes and grows. In fact, even when a tree dies, it reproduces itself with seedlings that sprout and grow around its remains.
We learned that although the roots of the redwood are not particularly deep, they are intertwined with their fellow redwoods. Since the trees grow in groves, their roots crisscross each other and form a pattern of support that gives them additional life-giving strength and endurance.
Our new friend told us these ancient trees are equally resistant to insects and disease, which also contributes to their long life span. It seems that the giant redwood — or sequoia — is by far the largest living thing on land. And he told us the species had been on earth over 110 million years. Some alive today have lived as long as two millennia. He said this enduring giant that stood among the dinosaurs was among the few to survive mass extinction 65 million years ago.
With such hardiness, why is it that only 10 percent of the tree species remain on earth today? Apparently, the greatest and perhaps the deadliest enemy to the redwood has been man cutting them down.
We were intrigued to learn about these inspiring trees. One can’t be in their immense presence without being humbled and awed. And you can’t help but ask yourself, “Is there something to be learned from a life that is far older than us and one that has endured many obstacles?”
When I told our daughter about them, she said she was reminded of a song we heard several years ago at Epcot’s World Showcase in Walt Disney World. The song is titled, “We go on” — music by Gavin Greenaway, lyrics by Don Dorsey, sung by Kellie Coffey — and it was played during the close of the evening fireworks show at that time. As I became reacquainted with the song’s lyrics, I could see why my story about the redwoods reminded her of this song.
”We go on to the joy and through the tears, we go on to discover new frontiers, moving on with the current of the years,” proclaims the chorus. Certainly when I think of the redwood trees surviving a forest fire, they did continue “to go on” despite what could have been devastating and life-threatening circumstances. These trees seem to have the invincible ability to hold on to the promise of life — a life that only expects progress, growth and to never end.
And the lyrics explain how we go on. We go on by “moving forward.” And how is it we’re capable of moving forward even after experiencing the most traumatic day of our life? The song says we keep “moving on” because we have “a spirit born to run.”
Indeed, God has instilled all of His creation with the energizing and uplifting spirit of life. And as we understand more about our indestructible spiritual life, we will learn that we are just as capable as the redwood tree to overcome even the most challenging ordeal and keep moving forward to each new day. In fact, it is our natural instinct to do so — our divine birthright.
So like the redwood tree, my friends, you and I will go on. We, too, can go through any troubled times and be untouched, unharmed, untarnished, without blemish, spotless, pure, fresh, intact, perfect — as God intended.
Perhaps the redwoods’ interconnected root system gives humanity its best clue for its own survival. Actually, the roots of humanity are already intertwined and established by the same Creator. My hope is that we will someday recognize, accept and believe this fact and live in peace and unity as the brothers and sisters we truly are.
