Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
Why do we believe the worst?
Why are we so quick to believe the worst? At no time does this seem more evident than during an election season. Yes, I think our leaders often bear the brunt of our worst beliefs, fears and opinions. I wonder if we usually believe the best about our loved ones not necessarily because it’s true but because we want the best to be true. So what of our so-called enemies or anyone we perceive as not on our side of an opinion or preferred political party? Perhaps we tend to believe the worst about them because we want the worst to be true.
Now, don’t get defensive on me here. I’m not talking about anyone in particular. In fact, these are questions I’ve asked myself again and again. I don’t like to believe without question the old saying, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” Some say this saying indicates that rumors are usually based on truth. I certainly concur that there is always a truth to be learned and understood, but it could be that the rumor turns out not to be that truth.
I guess some might call me a skeptic. If I am, then it’s because I want to believe the best instead of the worst.
And I hope my skepticism will help me make more rational judgments.
When it comes to politics, for example, I am trying to avoid selective examination of any evidence or facts. I am scrutinizing my choice of which news programs I watch and listen to and which magazine or newspaper articles I read. I admit that sometimes what I want to be true and what is true is not always the same.
I believe that I can reach a rational conclusion by being willing to accept a position that is based on as much available information as possible. So, I’m trying not to just read and listen to what I think will support what I would like to be true, but rather, I’m trying to read and hear all sides to issues and all viewpoints about all candidates.
It is, of course, difficult to root out cynicism and biases. But, at least I’m trying! I’m finding there are some useful practices that help me avoid the cynicism trap. First, I’ve got my eye out for arrogance. I want to keep this in check. So anytime I am super certain I am right — I stop and ask myself, “What if I’m wrong?” This is hopefully giving me the humility I need to change my mind or change my course when needed.
I am endeavoring to stay curious and assumption-free. I doubt what I first read or hear so I can stay open to allow new facts to emerge and be seen. But I’m not letting doubt become mistrust or paranoia. I’m optimistic and have good expectations. Yet, I want to be willing to be proven wrong, especially when I’m tempted to believe the worst before the best.
I’m often reminded of the time when John, one of Jesus’ disciples, was upset by someone doing healing works in Jesus’ name. The cause of John’s distress was that this individual was not among those following Jesus and listening to all of his teachings. In fact, John told Jesus that he and his fellow disciples told this individual to stop doing his healing works. But Jesus responded, “Forbid him not: for he that is not against us is for us.” (Luke 9:49-50)
What does this have to do with our election season, you might be thinking?
Clearly, the person who was doing healing works had heard Jesus’ teachings and probably witnessed his healing works, too. So, it wasn’t that he was so very different from the disciples who walked along with Jesus as he traveled the countryside. He, too, was evidently a believer and a doer of Jesus’ teachings. He hardly needed to be condemned for his good works and good motives.
I feel the same is true for those who want to serve this country in public office. They are all Americans. They are “for us!” I am trying to remember this important point even when I may disagree with someone’s path or the method he or she presents. And I applaud the candidates’ desire to serve this country to the best of their ability.
I can agree to disagree if need be, remembering that it could be that I myself don’t know the best resolution to a situation. And if the candidate I vote for come November doesn’t win, I can co-elbow with my next President, whoever he or she may be, and still have great expectations for the good of my country. I’m determined to believe the best about my new President before I believe the worst! And I’ll expect the best from my new President, too!
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
If you have a computer and email address, you will know what I’m talking about. We all get them. Those forwarded emails of jokes, poetry, photos, inspirational stories. Sometimes we get so many we don’t take the time to read all of them.
The subject line for this one simply read: Daffodils. Spring being in the air, I decided to read it.
The story began with a daughter urging her mother to come for a visit to see the daffodils while they were blooming. The mother wasn’t very excited about this idea and kept putting off the two-hour drive. A few days later she made the trip, although she could still care less about seeing daffodils.
After visiting with her daughter and grandchildren, she was ready to head back home. But at her daughter’s insistence, she relented and went to see the site her daughter promised should not be missed.
After going so far by car, the mother and daughter had to make the rest of the journey on foot. So, they walked down a path until much to the mother’s surprise was the most incredible and wondrous view she had ever seen. The mountain peak and its surrounding slopes were covered in spectacular shades of gold. The daffodils had been planted in swirling patterns, and the mother felt as if each shade formed its own unique river flowing over the hills. There were five acres of flowers.
She was in awe and wonder. She asked her daughter, “Who did this?” The daughter pointed to a house in the midst of the sea of daffodils. They walked up to the house and saw a poster on the patio that read:
“Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking.
1. 50,000 bulbs.
2. One at a time, by one woman.
3. Two hands, two feet, and one brain.
4. Began in 1958.”
There are many lessons to be found in this beautiful story, and some were shared in the email I received. You can probably guess that at least one has to do with accomplishing goals — one step at a time. Yes, this generally requires daily effort. And — it’s never too late to begin, so why keep waiting. We can all, like this woman, forever change the world in which we live, right where we are, right now — even if we’re on an obscure mountaintop.
Another lesson that was shared emphasized “learning to love the doing.” I can’t stop pondering this idea. And I realize in my own experience, that this love has sometimes been missing.
When working toward a goal, I’ve usually had the patience and perseverance needed. But I have to admit that I haven’t always loved every step that was needed. In fact, many times my attitude was more of a grit-and-endure or even a grin-and-bear-it one.
I thought about this one woman planting 50,000 bulbs over the course of forty years. It sounds like it could have been an overwhelming undertaking — one that could have caused much dismay or discouragement over the slow progress.
But somehow I think this woman began her task with a vision of her completed goal embedded in her thoughts. And with each bulb she planted, I suspect she was filled with love and joy in anticipation and expectation of what her deeds were accomplishing. She knew each individual bulb was indispensable to her goal, and I can’t help but think she loved giving the care and attention needed to each bulb.
Yes, I think I need to do a better job of “learning to love the doing” on this life journey of mine. And I suspect that if I can do this, I might get a sense of what this one woman felt as she planted each bulb and what she must surely feel now as she sees the masterpiece of her handiwork.
So, if you receive a forwarded email with the subject line of “Daffodils,” do read it! You will be glad you took the time.
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
We were on a weekend trip to celebrate our wedding anniversary. Although we were going back to a quaint town we had visited many times, we were staying at a bed & breakfast we had never been to before.
For a while now, I’ve been trying to break free from old habits and routines and be more open-minded and flexible in every area of my life. Perhaps it was this change in perspective and purpose that resulted in a new discovery when we toured the town.
Natchitoches, La., is renowned as the oldest settlement in the Louisiana Purchase Territory, established in 1714, and is also famous for being the film site of “Steel Magnolias.” Located on the Cane River, shopping and dining in the city’s historic downtown is truly an experience that I never tire of. In fact, my daughter and I have made a Christmas shopping trip here for the past few years, and we plan to continue this tradition. Eating fried green tomatoes and Natchitoches meat pies has become an annual must-do for us!
One of my husband’s favorite shops is the Kaffie Frederick General Mercantile, which is touted as Louisiana’s oldest general store. It was in this store where I made my discovery.
As we meandered through its many aisles, I found myself looking up when we reached the back section of the store. Much to my surprise, I saw an opening in the ceiling with a sign explaining how “skylights” were original to the architecture and provided helpful lighting when there was no electricity.
I had toured this store many times and never noticed either the skylight or the sign. And I’ve been intrigued ever since, wondering how I could have missed this unique building feature during our previous visits — something that had always been there and yet I had never noticed.
I reasoned that because the store always has so much interesting merchandise to capture my gaze, I simply never had the inclination to look up.
It occurred to me that this is not that unusual. Whether in regard to shops, relationships or our jobs, many times in our lives, so much is placed in front of us — crowding or overwhelming our point of view — that it is sometimes difficult to see everything that is going on all around us.
Since my newest goals include to slow down, to make moments matter and to be open for new adventures and experiences, I’ve found that I’m not so conscious of the things that used to consume my attention. Consequently, this may be why I discovered the general store’s skylights during this visit — along with many other town features I had never noticed before, I might add.
For some reason I find myself thinking about a conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus. Jesus said, “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
The desire to further understand the idea of being “born again” has caused me to ponder the experience of a newborn babe. A baby enters the world without preconceptions. She is curious and alert to everything and everyone. She is eager to learn about and understand everything around her. She is receptive and inquisitive.
This seems to describe a helpful perspective for those on their spiritual journey — a perspective that would surely help them discover and understand their own spirituality. And I think it also describes a good disposition to be had in every aspect of one’s life.
Imagine approaching each day like a baby. Each day would be filled with new lessons to be learned, and you would be excited to learn each one. You would see life as filled with many insights and treasures waiting to be discovered. And you would welcome each day with joy-filled confidence and faith.
My hope is to approach each day with such childlike anticipation — always looking for and expecting to discover and learn something new. And again and again, the old would be made new.
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
How have I planned my life? Oh, let me count the ways …
I had a plan for where I would go to college, whom I would marry, when I would marry, how many children I would have, when I would have my first child, the second child, and so on. I’ve had a plan for every day of my life. From the time I wake up until the time I go to bed, I have a schedule and a to-do list. And each task on my to-do list has its own detailed plan of action.
But I’m not finished yet.
I make my Christmas gift list months in advance. In fact, I worry about everything months in advance.
Every vacation has had an itinerary and, of course, an extensive list of items to take along.
I’ve even made plans for other people in my life, especially for my husband and daughter. I don’t think I’ve ever made a move in my life without a plan or without probably two back-up plans to boot.
Admittedly, not all my plans have worked out in the exact way I have planned them. But my solace has always been, “Well, at least I had a plan.”
I’m not saying that having goals is bad. Goals certainly have their usefulness. But I’ve been wondering recently if I could have used more meandering in my days gone by. Or, at least, perhaps I could have set up fewer boundaries or directives for the possibilities of my life. I’ve concluded that my vision for my life has had way too many limits as well as blinders.
Part of my problem with being a planner is illustrated by how devastated I have been when a plan has fallen short, when I’ve been unable to handle the unknown, or when I haven’t been flexible enough to grasp a plan that wasn’t my own.
But, no more!
I’ve begun to see that God has a plan for our lives that has an infinite design. And within infinitude, there can be no limits, no boundaries, no restrictions, no inadequacies, and even no defined specifics. That’s right.
I no longer feel that God has one specific plan for my life. I just don’t believe God thinks in terms of human details. Why would He? Or could He? God’s view of His creation could only reflect His own nature. And there are no limits or lack in the infinite Divine. So, there surely can’t be any with what the Divine creates.
What does this mean for me now?
I’m not saying I’m ready to be a “fly by the seat of my pants” kind of girl. But there is some appeal to that idea. I want to be more open-minded about my future and what choices I make. In fact, I want to have days when I have no list whatsoever in front of me. I want to go on a trip and have no idea what I’m going to do on any given day. Actually, I would love to take a trip and have no map, no compass, no headings and no familiar landmarks. Just head out and go where the wind blows, as they say.
You really don’t know how radical these thoughts are, coming from a long-time planner like me. My family may get worried to see this change in me. I’ve just come to believe that perhaps the greatest plan is a plan that anticipates and looks forward to surprises.
I suspect that surprise may be one of the most special outcomes of maintaining an infinite point of view — one that is always ready for any possibility and ready to seize unexpected moments and opportunities. I can only imagine how happy such a life would be, to be surprised each morning at the beautiful sunrise — whether a cloudy or sunny day. I’m trying to imagine being delightfully surprised with each phone call I receive — no matter how many times my phone rings each day. Or being gracefully surprised by each and every event in my life — not being daunted, overwhelmed or exasperated when every detail doesn’t pan out the way I had envisioned.
I look forward to no longer being such a compulsive planner and to being more spontaneous and open for all the infinite possibilities in every aspect of my life and each moment of my life.
So, my friends, if you’re going to plan, be sure you plan to be surprised. That’s my new plan!
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
The viewpoint that human beings and civilization are ever improving and advancing toward a higher and better goal is a very old one. The search itself tells the story — whether it was what brought the Puritans to the American colonies or what sent the covered wagons across the prairies or what propelled man to land on the moon.
The U.S. Constitution speaks of the “pursuit” of happiness. It is this pursuit — this search or quest for something better, higher, more meaningful, more substantial — that illustrates the life practice of progress.
Many people argue and debate about what constitutes progress, and consequently, many times the authenticity or validity of progress is doubted and questioned. This has never made much sense to me, since I believe that existence must always be advancing, proceeding and unfolding because progress is the law of God, the law of infinity.
Steps forward can certainly be of different sizes, whether baby steps or giant leaps. Advancement is actually possible, even when you’re not on your feet. Crawling is progress. Any improvement is a good thing and should be recognized, valued and appreciated. Perhaps we can best define progress in the words of Walt Whitman: “always becoming.” Progress, then, would never be a single fixed point and would never reach an end.
So we are always becoming the people we are capable of being — the people we are divinely created to be, whom God knows, loves and cares for right now and forever.
Recently I came across the slogan of the General Electric Co. in the 1950s and 1960s. And it seems that it was Ronald Reagan who announced this slogan each week on television in the name of General Electric: “Progress is our most important product.”
If this is so, we don’t need to measure progress by what we’ve accomplished, achieved or built and invented. We ascertain our progress by the direction in which we are walking, the practice of our ideals, and our understanding of who we are.
Jesus taught his disciples a lesson in social progress when apparently James and John were angry at how some people were acting. The disciples asked Jesus if he wanted them to “tell fire to come down from heaven and consume” these people. Jesus said, “Of course not!!!” Then he further cautioned them, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of” (Luke 9:51-55).
We must always be about the business of becoming who we are, as God created us to be. We’re not responsible for the actions of others. But we are always accountable for our own actions, our own thoughts and viewpoints.
Perhaps we can better understand who we are by better understanding our Creator. God is Love. If Love created us, then we must be loving, forgiving, compassionate. If we are not living who we are, then maybe that is because we’re not understanding who we are. The good news is we will continue to progress in that understanding and become better at acting like the child of God that we are. Thank goodness, progress is the law of God!
Indeed, there are many would-be foes of progress: idleness, conceit, envy, revenge, and the many self-isms such as self-will, self-righteousness and self-ignorance, to name a few. Misguided opinions of what brings happiness and satisfaction are also detrimental to progress.
This is a lesson I’ve had to learn and learn again throughout my life. Whether I was making a rash judgment, jumping to a wrong conclusion, worrying about what-ifs or stressing out about lack of time, I’ve had to be willing to reassess and alter my perceptions.
As we continue on our journey of self-awakening, we’ll become more alert to these enemies and will allow nothing to impede or hinder our progress.
We are a world of seekers. While our pathways traveled are unique and many, progress is the law that is impelling each of our steps. Human history has been one of progress, sometimes accelerating and sometimes slow moving. But the wheels of progress will keep moving us all forward, as they must, ever so steadily.
May we always celebrate any and all progress in our lives and in the lives of others. After all, progress is what matters most.
