Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
I wanted to get up and dance, but I didn’t. I was suddenly reminded of my daughter’s marble paperweight with the inscription, “Dance like nobody’s watching.” But, hundreds of people would be watching if I stood up and started dancing. Consequently, I unhappily restrained my desire and stayed seated.
Oh, how I wished I was a child again as I watched dozens of little ones dancing and jumping around in front of the stage. My husband and I were attending an outdoor concert. It was great fun except all the adults were sitting in their chairs while the children, it seemed to me, were having the most fun.
Did I really care what others would think? Well… yeah. I did. But why? When did I lose my impetuous, uninhibited child self? How can I recapture the unbridled freedom I had in my early childhood? I so miss that freedom.
Somehow I had managed to put myself into a grown-up box, which basically meant I was, like many adults — taking myself too seriously. But I didn’t want to.
I can think of a few adults who seem to have managed to hold on to their childlikeness. My step dad is one of these fortunate grown-ups. An example of this is when he is in church and inspired by a soloist performance and lets out a resounding “Amen!” It matters not that his is the only voice heard. He follows his heart. Or my mom — does she worry about anyone seeing her walk around in her swimsuit? No way! Her joy of swimming fills her thoughts. I’ve often longed to be more like them.
Christ Jesus once gave his disciples — and all of us who read his teachings now — some serious advice on the import of maintaining the heart of the child. In fact he said, “for such is the kingdom of God.” This instruction came on the heels of his disciples arguing among themselves about who should be the greatest among them. He told them the “childlike” are the “greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
I’ll never forget a lesson learned from my daughter when she was very young. A little boy joined her Sunday School class whose skin color was different from hers. She didn’t think he was a different “race” (although he was). She innocently told her nanny that this new boy had as good a tan as she had. Her nanny has an olive complexion as well as a great tan because she loves the outdoors and often swims in her pool.
It seems to me that our childlikeness is our natural self, and “stuff” is learned as we grow up that would rob us of our child hearts. I suspect everyone knows what stuff I’m talking about, so I will not waste space now reviewing all of it. I want to focus only on our childlikeness.
God created us childlike — full of wonder, in a state of perpetual discovery, curious, compelled by fascination, satisfied by simple joys, spontaneous, trusting, obedient, confident, expectant, innocent, eager to learn, with a humble spirit, forgiving, ready to explore and investigate, filled with the spirit of adventure, unconditionally loving. Since this is how God created each of us, we can’t lose these qualities. We only stop remembering our childlike self. But childlike is what we “truly” are. So, we need only be willing to rediscover this self.
I’m working on living my childlikeness. The next outdoor concert we attended, I got up and danced like nobody was watching. My husband said they were watching. But that thought didn’t cross my mind. I was too busy enjoying the moment. Thank you, God, for giving us the gift of a child heart! I will do my best to never forget it again!
Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
I want to talk about marriage. And not because it’s a political, social and religious hot topic .I just want to talk about what marriage is to me. Not what it could be or should be or isn’t.
I know I’ve said this before, but my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this year. I suppose this is still worthy of recognition since the odds remain at 50-50 for marriages to end in divorce.
I wanted to be the first in my family who didn’t get a divorce. And… it looks like I’ve made it. These past 25 years have taught me much about the love that makes marriage go round and round.
I had heard that love often comes when you aren’t looking for it. Such was true for me. Toward the end of my college years, it happened in an unexpected moment. I fell in love with John while standing in line for an amusement park ride. City girl meets country boy. Seven months later, we married.
Of course, I admit “love at first sight” is ignited by infatuation. But a spark can grow into a blazing fire when given proper attention.
To me, marriage is a love story. It’s a union of two hearts. Not a way of life, but life itself. I believe when husbands and wives live love, they give eternal life to their marriage.
In his definition of love in his letters to the Corinthians, Paul explains how to live love. He says that love is patient and kind. Love is not proud or self-seeking. Love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. Love always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Love never tires of loving.
God is love. The source of love — kindness, compassion, affection. So of course, husbands and wives must be children of love. Both are unique and individual expressions of this love. This knowledge has helped me pray through moments when I was tempted to see my husband (or myself) as anything but the expression of God’s love.
God has created us capable of expressing love. Understanding this has helped me see that it is my nature to choose and live love. With love as my center, it has become natural to choose patience instead of frustration. Empathy instead of criticism. Joy instead of sadness. Peace of mind instead of anger. Trust instead of doubt. Forgiveness instead of condemnation.
Remember, I am sharing my conclusions about love and marriage after 25 years of practice. No doubt, my view has been shaped by years of progress, prayer and many tender lessons.
In marriage, two people choose to come together to honestly share their lives with each other. Being together is effortless. Being together is so enjoyable you want time to stand still.
Marriage is “being there” for each other. Taking care of each other. Making the other person feel special. Knowing what is needed without being asked.
Communication in marriage is a sweet interchange of openness and respect. Giving each other encouragement is the greatest of all gifts.
Having fun together and laughing together is natural in marriage. Laughter keeps us from taking our own point of view too seriously. Laughter can break the spell of anger or frustration. In fact, laughter helps me fulfill my grandmother’s advice, “Never go to bed mad.”
Romantic getaways and vacations nurture the love story — even if they last only moments. But they are moments for the husband and wife exclusively — walking in the park holding hands or having a candlelight dinner together. Or if you live in the country like we do — having a rendezvous in a hay truck parked next to the stock pond surrounded by cows is pretty darn nice, too.
Marriage is strengthened by trust. Enriched by passion. Brightened by sweet surprises.
Yes, I do love being married. So, how could I not talk about what I love most in my life!
Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
My very favorite place to pray is by the ocean.
I’ve sat for hours by the seaside enraptured by the vastness and infinity of the broad view. There’s something about the wideness of the sea and the constancy of the rolling waves that makes my soul sigh in contentment and quiets my mind in peaceful reflection. I love the way I feel when I vacation by the ocean and have often thought, “How can I take this peaceful feeling home with me? How can I go back home and find freedom from the stress of life’s chores and responsibilities?”
Recently, it occurred to me that Christ Jesus provided the answer to these questions with his direction — “Enter into thy closet.”
In giving helpful instruction on how to pray, he said, “When thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”
I do love to pray when sitting on the seashore. It’s like my “closet.” I shut my eyes, not thinking about any troubles, fears or concerns. With each breath I take, I feel wrapped in God’s love. I hear the thunderous roar of waves crashing, but at the same time I feel the rhythmic and peaceful pattern of the waves rolling in.
I’m reminded of the biblical account of Christ Jesus calming the winds and waves when he and his disciples were on a ship caught in a storm at sea. As I sit on the shore, I feel as if Christ Jesus is speaking to my worries and proclaiming, “Peace, be still.” It’s as if a thought whispers to me, “You are safe. You are not alone. You are whole. All is well.”
I open my eyes once again to the vastness of the scene before me. Whatever problem, fear or concern that has been troubling me now seems very small, like a single grain of sand under my feet. There is clarity, and there is calm.
I don’t think the healing power of this prayer requires sitting by the sea. We can follow Christ Jesus’ prayer instructions wherever we are — whether we are at work, sitting in a hospital waiting area, standing in line at the grocery store, or are stuck in our car in a traffic jam. We can enter into our closet, that quiet realm of our consciousness that knows God’s presence and love is with us and is as constant as the rolling waves and as infinite as the inexhaustible waters of the sea. We talk with God and hear the healing words needed in that moment. And there is clarity, there is calm — there is peace.
Sometimes I have hours to spend in my prayer closet. Other times I have only moments to find the healing answer needed.
Many times in the past when sitting at my desk working on a deadline, I have been overwhelmed with a feeling of pressure, and I’ve been fearful that I couldn’t get the task accomplished when needed. I would become a clock-watcher. In fact, the more I looked at the clock, the slower ideas flowed that were needed to complete the project.
I found the best way to overcome pressure was to enter into my prayer closet. Moments of stillness and quiet reflection of God’s presence and “allness” were all that was needed. Soon pressure disappeared and was replaced with calm inspiration. Then, the needed ideas came into expression, and the project was completed on schedule. This has happened again and again.
Following the insightful prayer instruction from Christ Jesus puts on “pause” whatever is troubling or challenging us. Then, we’re reminded that Love, the Love that is God, is always with us. Peace and healing answers are found when our thought is calmed. We can all feel the healing peace of God wherever we are and in every situation.
Yes, my very favorite place to pray is by the ocean. But I’m learning to pray anywhere at anytime.
Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
Mistaken impressions, rash judgments, believing the worst — we’ve all been there. Maybe we’ve had an impression of someone or something based on a stereotype, prejudice or presumption.
The old adage, “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” is good advice. This means before we can judge, we need to take a deeper, closer look. This means that value and potential are not always obvious from what we see on the surface.
I learned such a lesson in the course of remodeling our house. We replaced several pieces of furniture that were pretty much worn out. I had planned for our dining table to be one of these items. But my husband wanted to refinish the table surface and have the chairs reupholstered. As I said, this was not my plan, but I compromised.
He worked hard and diligently on the table, and when he had completed his work, my first impression was not good. In fact, my initial reaction was honest, “I hate it.” But I resolved that I was stuck with it — at least for a while.
Then something unexpected and interesting happened. Various friends and family members saw our refinished dining table, and they all loved it. I couldn’t believe it! Not one saw my point of view. Eventually, I began to wonder if I had unfairly judged. As I began to give the table another look, my opinion shifted from dislike to love. Yes, I reached a point where I truly loved the refinished results.
How could this have happened? Had the table’s appearance changed? Hardly! So, what was different?
I can now see how my disappointment in not purchasing a new dining table created the unconscious presumption that I would NOT like the refinished table. I didn’t want to like it. My mind had been made up before the refinishing even began. I had been fooled by the view.
Our impressions influence our judgments. What if our impression of the human scene is a difficult and frightening picture of a loved one in a hospital bed? We can become convinced that the evidence before our eyes tells the true, whole story and believe the worst.
I’m remembering several years ago when my step-dad was in the hospital. He was in a medically induced coma for several weeks. It was alarming and disheartening to see him this way. At times we thought he was dead and was just being kept alive by the various machines he was hooked up to. And indeed, his physicians were concerned and uncertain of his recovery.
One of our prayers became not to be fooled by the view. Before entering his room, we would fill our thoughts with what God, who is Spirit, sees — his beloved son, spiritual, perfect, whole, full of vitality and strength.
Weeks later, after much progress, the induced coma was discontinued and he awoke with a smile and as his good-humored, natural self. More progress would be needed, but he did achieve an ultimate recovery. And the one-time view of near death was indeed proven false.
I’ve thought about this experience many times when faced with illness myself. I protest the view of me that includes a picture of disease and its symptoms, pain and so forth. I turn my thought to what I’m certain God’s view is of me as His child, created in His image and likeness. I’ve found reassurance, expectation and healing from this approach.
I’ve learned that anything that would rob me of my hope must be warded off. I must not allow any view to tempt me into believing that the human picture of problems and struggles is the end of the story.
And I’ve learned that a good beginning is to not be fooled by the view.
Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
None of us want to waste the precious times of our life. But I suspect we’ve probably all been guilty of doing just that. Oh, how much time I’ve wasted being mad, unhappy, depressed, frustrated, indecisive, complaining, feeling discouraged, overwhelmed!
So, how do we combat these enemies to our joy, peace, progress and success?
I’ve never forgotten an idea a friend shared with me several years ago. The phrase came from a book about Jesus and management — I never knew the title. But the phrase was, “Jesus didn’t allow any energy leaks.”
Nothing could deter him, distract him or stop him from doing his work. He had a clear sense of his mission and his purpose. He was steadfast and centered. But he wasn’t willful or headstrong. Since his work involved obediently following God’s direction, he had to remain ever prayerful and listening for His next instructions.
He maintained his spiritual energy, never allowing any “leaks” that would pull his thought and attention away from his focus. This kept him in a state of readiness, flexibility, openness and willingness.
My friend offered this idea about Jesus, trying to help me get through what seemed like a day of impossible roadblocks at work. It was a day of time constraints, confusion, unclear communication, and backtracking. Ever experience a day like that?
I was just about ready to write the day off as hopeless. At the peak of my frustration, this idea of Jesus not allowing any energy leaks was compelling. I felt like I was running on low fuel, so the thought of being able to stop energy leaks was very desirable.
I considered how the master of the Master Way remained calm and focused on his work when confronted by multitudes with many different needs. Or how he was able to express dominion and confident resolve while doing his work even in the midst of angry and jealous peers.
Deciding perhaps it was possible for me to take the example of Christ Jesus as my problem-solving model, I began a new approach with each calamity that presented itself. This required a response-change on my part — to remain calm regardless of the circumstance. And it worked! With the calming of any would-be anxieties, stress or pressure, came peace, freshness, and new views — spiritual energy. I felt refueled to tackle anything.
With additional challenges — and there were more — solutions came quickly. I resolved to maintain my spiritual poise and not allow any “energy leaks.” What a day! Instead of a day of everything going wrong, much was accomplished and deadlines were reached.
I’ve often thought about the lessons learned that day.
There are many enemies to our joy and peace — sickness, pain, worries, and a myriad of fears. But my spiritual energy lesson has taught me that a calm and spiritually poised response leads to healing and progress. As I’ve been successful at not allowing any energy leaks, I’ve found myself prepared and equipped to handle whatever comes my way.
