Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Ominous predictions regarding the advance of “old age” for baby boomers continues to hit the airwaves. Since I’m bringing up the tail end of the baby boomer generation, I cry, “Slander! Don’t imprison me in an age box! I will NOT go peacefully and willingly!”
Who says the passing of years determines our age? Not astrophysicists! These thinkers report there is in fact no connection between the daily spinning of the earth, its annual circling of the sun and the aging of humans. So, why do we put ourselves into age boxes that are supposed to define who we are and what we’re capable of doing?
Let’s begin with the premise that our nature is not defined by age but by what the Creator gives to His beloved creation. And what God gives can only be emanations of Himself — such spiritual qualities as goodness, beauty, strength, ability, wisdom, vitality, intelligence, usefulness and so forth. Because these qualities have their origin in God, they are as infinite as their source and cannot be limited or defined by some mistaken, mortal concept of time and age.
Now I realize the battle to overcome feelings of mortality, with all the expected and accepted aches and pains associated with age, can be daunting. But I’m embarking on a journey to overcome my own slavery to the limitations that age tries to impose. And I say you can, too!
While the news media announce baby boomer doom and gloom, they also applaud accomplishments made by those whom they categorize as seniors. Such as the successful mountain climber at age 81, the man still flying airplanes at 86, the man golfing competitively at 103, grandmothers organizing and playing in a basketball league, or the grandmother who went back to college for her master’s 50 years after receiving her bachelor’s degree. These stories are newsworthy because producers consider them “unusual.” But what if these stories were not thought unusual but rather the normal and natural continuation of life and purpose?
Numerous examples in the Bible teach us the infinite and timeless nature of life. Elizabeth was far past the age of childbearing when she gave birth to a son. And Samuel had the wisdom and discernment to hear the voice of God when just a young child. Abraham could have let his 75 years convince him that God was calling upon the wrong person to father a nation, but he didn’t hesitate to believe and follow God’s direction.
Certainly, neither days nor years mattered to the Master in his healing work. He restored a woman who had suffered from a blood condition for 12 years. He healed an impotent man who had struggled for 38 years. He healed a man who had been blind from birth. He raised a man who had been dead for four days. Christ Jesus showed that an understanding of God and a willingness to do His will enables one to transcend all human timetables.
Could this be the road to ageless living — a divinely based outlook that can remove the view that claims aging has validity? An outlook that asserts decrepitude is not natural or inevitable.
God has called each of us to fulfill a specific mission, and we can be humbly willing to be God’s instruments for His purpose. And, indeed, this higher motive empowers our ability to do the work needed. Since we’re all treading the path of eternal life, our mission and purpose continue in eternity. They don’t end at some humanly established age. And our resources, those inherent spiritual qualities for accomplishing our purpose, are inexhaustible and renewable.
This assurance from Job gives me encouragement: “Thou shalt be steadfast, and shalt not fear: because thou shalt forget thy misery, and remember it as waters that pass away and thine age shall be clearer than the noonday; thou shalt shine forth, thou shalt be as the morning” (Job 11:15-17). These words tell me to not dread or fear any mortal view of my life with its many dire predictions and low expectations — that I can look to a divinely based outlook that precipitates a view open to unlimited possibilities.
Freedom from humanity’s immovable opinions and fixed beliefs on aging is possible if we dare to imagine those unlimited and infinite possibilities. Wendell Phillips, renowned American abolitionist of the 19th century, wrote: “Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.” So, we must be alert and diligent in the watch to move our thought and actions beyond restrictions of age. This will require focusing more on God than matter, more on our spiritual qualities and less on mortal characteristics and impressions.
Instead of ruminating on reasons why we can’t do something, we must affirm that as God’s children, we can do what He directs us to do. When God directs, God enables!
We can accept our divine inheritance as children of God right now. Age has nothing to do with fulfilling our life purpose. This means you and I can live our purpose unboxed and without age limits.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
“You are your own worst enemy,” my mamma told me many times in my life. And she was right. She rarely had to punish me when I did something wrong because I did a good enough job punishing myself. My guilt-ridden conscience would unleash a floodtide of remorse and anguish over my mistakes and shortcomings. I have often found it easier to forgive others than to forgive myself.
Certainly, condemnation by another person is hard to swallow and contend with, but self-condemnation can be even more difficult to bear and is destructive. In self-condemnation, we condemn ourselves by our own harsh judgment. We condemn our failure to do or be something we feel we should do or be. The trap we too easily fall into, however, is that we incorrectly think self-condemnation is the same as self-examination or self-knowledge. So, we either avoid examining ourselves and gaining the insight that helps us change and grow, or we stay so focused on our past failings that we can’t move beyond them and progress into a lesson well learned.
The horrific events at Virginia Tech continue to tug at the hearts of our nation, and especially the students. My own heart shuddered when I heard a discussion on how individuals who experience traumatic events often struggle with guilt. This guilt was not only described as survivors’ guilt but also guilt for actions not taken. This type of guilt would make one believe that their lack of action was responsible for, or at least contributed to, the endangerment of others.
Dear students, please don’t walk down the crippling path of such self-condemnation. It is a dead-end road that serves no good purpose and definitely does not help or heal. It’s a road you can only drive in reverse; it will never take you forward.
I’m reminded of my own college days. I wasn’t faced with a troubled student like Cho Seung-hui, who decided to take the lives of many fellow students before taking his own. I was, however, faced with two individuals who committed suicide, an individual who stalked me and another who sexually harassed me. In each case I felt guilty, wondering what might have happened if I had responded or acted differently.
Twice, I had conversations with individuals who took their own lives a couple of days later, and I accused myself of not saying what I should have or could have said or of saying something I should not have said. I rebuked myself for not expressing my concern or fear to anyone.
My answer to being stalked was to change jobs and move, rather than to report the person to the police. Nor did I turn in the professor who tried to sell a good exam grade for sexual favors. For years, I struggled with guilt, wondering if my non-actions resulted in other lives harmed. My stalker and harasser never made local or national news, but that didn’t lessen my self-condemnation.
It was a fresh read of the story about Jesus and the adulterous woman (John 8:1-11) that taught me I could love and forgive myself, and it showed me how. I had always viewed this account as a lesson about condemning others — “Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone.” The Pharisees are portrayed as arrogant — presenting themselves as judge and jury for this woman and obviously considering themselves impeccably qualified to do so. But they are soon convicted by their own self-condemnation.
It was the end of the story that brought home to me a life-altering lesson — a lesson on loving and forgiving myself in spite of my failings. Jesus addresses the woman, “Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?” She answers, “No one, Master.” Then Jesus says, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
If Jesus didn’t condemn her, then neither should she condemn herself. And I saw this was true for me, too. It told me I could continue my life journey, learning from the many lessons along the way and doing my best to not repeat mistakes.
We live and act in the present. We make decisions to the best of our ability based upon our knowledge and values at the present moment. We may not always make the best choices. And sometimes we totally fail in our judgment. But the paradox is that in failure, we change. The important question is more about how we handle and react to failures.
Hindsight fuels condemnation and never helps us improve our life right now — mostly because in hindsight we can only look at the past and judge the past, never the present or future. I now see that the only view that can help us in the present and give us hope and promise for the future is God’s point of view.
And it’s His view that helps us gain self-knowledge. The fact is, the better we know ourselves, the better we can know and understand others, too. Self-knowledge is an awareness of the self that God sees in us — good and worthwhile, made in His image and likeness. This spiritual understanding helps us discern the self God created and helps us discover our potential and fulfill our life purpose. God has given us the ability to be everything He created us to be, and this includes making good and wise decisions.
A loving and forgiving God asks us to do the same for others and for ourselves. So, we must give ourselves a break from time to time on this life journey. We can’t change the past, but we can keep learning how to do a better job living the present, and we can alter the path of our future. Self-knowledge — not self-condemnation — will keep us from repeating mistakes and enable us to put to good practice the lessons learned.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
We’re the multitasking generation, and we’re proud of it. We believe we’re sufficiently skilled to handle multiple tasks simultaneously, alternating from job to job in rapid speed. Although, on the surface, we seem more efficient, in our haste we may actually be taking more time to reach our goals and sacrificing quality as well.
No matter how much you try to convince yourself, you actually can’t do multiple things at the same time, and do them well. As Clint Eastwood says at the end of one of his “Dirty Harry” movies, “A man’s gotta know his limitations.”
Why do corporations continue to assume that the few can be asked to do the work of many? It seems the business world’s mantra these days is, “Do more with less.” But recent studies in multitasking indicate that trying to accomplish several duties at once may in fact reduce productivity, not increase it.
A segment on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” a few weeks ago caught my eye. It was discussing the steep price tag that comes with multitasking. A wife shared how she feels she never has her husband’s full attention because he’s constantly checking his BlackBerry, answering his cell phone and checking messages and emails. Imagine how your coworker, friend, spouse, lover or child would feel if every time they said something to you, you turned and gave them all of your attention — without thinking about what was next on your “to-do” list?
I’ve concluded that we really don’t multitask — we juggle. We actually juggle one task at a time, and whether we complete our various responsibilities quickly or slowly, we’re still only finishing one endeavor at a time. The problem is that not one undertaking has our attention for very long because we must focus immediately on the next item on our list. Certainly, the more we juggle, the greater the odds that we will drop some “ball.” Yet, juggling fewer duties or decreasing our priorities is not always the only answer.
Longing for a solution to multitasking madness, I turned to Jesus’ life and his three-year career. Here was a man who accomplished much in his brief ministry and whose eternal legacy still transforms the world generations after his work was completed. He taught and healed multitudes during those three years. How did he do so much in such a short period?
I decided to examine his typical workdays for insight. The book of Luke, Chapter 8 tells about many activities over what appears to be a very short amount of time — perhaps a day or a few days. During this time, Jesus traveled back and forth between two regions by boat, spoke to a large crowd, taught disciples in a private session, calmed a storm at sea, healed a madman, raised a little girl from death, and healed a woman with an issue of blood on the way to heal the little girl. All of this in only one chapter!
While it appeared that Jesus juggled many tasks, he really was about a single mission and purpose. His only work was being about his Father’s business. He never lost sight of this, regardless of the numerous details presenting themselves to him. This enabled him to focus on the needs of the moment and be responsive to each person he met. Jesus was always flexible, adjustable, listening, discerning. He was never rushed, pressured, stressed out or overwhelmed. He calmly went about accomplishing his work, fully attentive to each and every moment.
No, Jesus didn’t practice multitasking to accomplish his great mission — but, rather, the art of mindful living.
The fact of the matter is, we too have only “one” business — and like Jesus, it is to be about our Father’s business, wherever that takes us and in whatever we are doing. Perhaps the key to our success is to adopt “the mind of Christ,” as Paul says (Philippians 2:5). This means we, too, give our full attention to every moment and each person during those moments. We make mindfulness our approach to each day and every endeavor. I suspect such a mindful approach in our work and everyday life would result in greater achievement, fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Even as the airwaves were filled with devastating images of floods, tornadoes and fires, a flood survivor was able to express humor in the midst of his own catastrophe. I was impressed.
He was being interviewed by a television reporter as he stood on the balcony of his second-floor home. His first floor was submerged by a swollen river. The reporter made the statement that this man’s town was completely under water and everyone appeared to have left, except for him. And the man wittily responded, “Yes, my town’s population is now only one.” Never during the conversation was there a sense of doom in his words, tone or appearance. He even described the peacefulness of evenings when he sat out on his balcony. He expressed confidence that he and his wife would recover and rebuild from this destructive rain event. He showed no doubt or dismay.
As I’ve thought again and again about this man, I’ve concluded he knew a truth that was bolstering his spirits and confidence. He must have known the truth of the adage “The darkest hour precedes the dawn.” So much so, in fact, that he convinced me he was already envisioning that dawn. And I was inspired by his joyfulness.
His demeanor reminded me of words from Christ Jesus that my mom has often quoted: “…and your joy no man taketh from you” (John 16:22). My mom also paraphrased those words into the instruction “Let nothing take your joy from you.” And nothing can take our joy, because joy is indeed God-given. It can’t be lost or taken away. God-given joy is powerful and healing. I was certain this dear man must also have known this spiritual fact and was already experiencing the restorative effects of joy in his darkest of days.
Who hasn’t experienced blessings from life changes that follow an adversity? Much is to be gained amid these struggles, and only our depressed vision can keep us from seeing what can be gained. I’m not in denial of the bad stuff. But I do believe seeing the brighter side enables us to find the good that lifts us out of the bad. Paul said it this way in his epistle to the Romans, “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). This tells me acknowledging the presence of God’s love and power right in the face of discord will enable me to indeed overcome evil with the power of God’s law of good.
Our five senses are not enough to get us through life successfully. We also need to use our sixth sense — our sense of humor — as a way to view the world that surrounds us and often troubles us. And I’ve found that our seventh sense — our spiritual sense — helps me put into practice my sense of humor, while giving me confidence that better days are within reach.
Being spiritually lighthearted means placing the burdens of life where they belong — on the shoulders of our Father-Mother God, who truly does make all burdens light by pointing us upward and making our days bright with infinite possibilities. God wants only good for His precious children and will lead us to the dry ground where we can continue our journey with sure footing. In the words of the Psalmist, “…when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I” (Psalms 61:2). And God will lead us, as I believe he is apparently leading the man with the flooded house.
Nothing saps our energy more than the time and focus we put into coping with life’s problems. I’ve found that humor can lighten our burdens and help us keep things in perspective. Laughter can enable a person to look at a problem from a different point of view and make the problem seem less formidable. Consequently, this lighter view provides opportunities for greater objectivity and insight. Yes, humor can adjust the meaning of an event so that it is not so overwhelming. In fact, humor can help reveal that small things are not the earthshaking events they sometimes seem to be. I’ve found this to be true myself many times, helping me turn my anger at something my hubby said or did into laughter.
Interestingly enough, I only recently learned there was such a thing as laughter therapy. Apparently, a number of medical studies are concluding that laughter just may be the best medicine. Many studies say that a good, hearty laugh can reduce stress, decrease pain, lower blood pressure, elevate mood, boost the immune system, increase job performance, protect the heart, connect people emotionally, foster instant relaxation, dissolve anger, give hope and make you feel good — as well as provide the glue for a good marriage. Most studies agree that by loosening up a bit, we can undo some of the stress we face in our everyday lives.
Perhaps as we laugh to lighten our own burdens, we also lighten those of everyone we meet. After witnessing one man’s lightheartedness in the midst of his struggles, I found that my own sadness and frustrations from dealing with problems and challenges were replaced with the ability to see a brighter side that is now moving me in a direction toward positive change and healing. So I will do my best to remember that even in the most difficult of times, a laugh, or even simply a smile, can go a long way in helping us, and others, to feel better.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
It often ranks as the most watched show on television, with millions, perhaps billions, of loyal fans tuning in each week. A television reality series, a talent show, it has exploded into a full-fledged pop culture phenomenon. I suspect you’ve guessed by now I’m referring to “American Idol.”
If you’re one of the few who has never watched “American Idol,” I’ll clue you in. It’s a singing competition that had its debut in 2002. Part of the “Idol” franchise, it originated from the UK reality program “Pop Idol.” The goal? To discover the best young singer in the country.
The program begins with a series of nationwide auditions before three judges. The latter stages of the competition are wholly determined by public voting. At that point, the show is not just a singing competition but also a voting contest. In other words, each week Americans elect their favorite singers, and each week the contestant with the fewest votes goes home.
By the time Americans vote, the stage has been set by the judges, who select the best of the best. While all the singers are talented in their own style and genre, Americans literally vote their preference. And clearly, we pick our “Idol” based on a variety of reasons — not just on talent. But then again, who is the most talented is really dependent on the listeners’ subjective tastes. Undoubtedly, not all will agree on who is the most talented or who should win the competition.
But in my opinion, winning “American Idol” is not what the program is all about. Yes, I’m a fan. And yes, I spend two hours each week dialing and redialing with my votes. I love supporting young people who are going for their dreams. And I love the idea of giving any young person in the country the opportunity to shine. And shine they do on “American Idol.”
For the past three years, “American Idol” has landed the No. 1 spot for kids aged 6 to 17. For me, this is also reason to celebrate and support this program. I would much prefer our country’s youth to be inspired by watching other young people strive to fulfill their dream than watching crude humor or violent programming. So, even if my personal favorite doesn’t win the competition, I will always remain a fan of the show.
Take note, graduates of the Class of 2007! There are lessons to be learned from “American Idol” contestants — not only from watching them during the show but also from seeing what many accomplish after the show concludes.
The “American Idol” contestants are daring to believe that anything is possible. It’s inspiring to watch their faith put into action week after week, in spite of ridicule and criticism. I’ve been even more inspired to watch contestants after the show. Many who were not the “winners” have continued to pursue and achieve their dreams, some with even greater success than those who actually won the competition. “American Idol” is more about an opportunity than anything else. And in this life of ours, we will have many opportunities and many possible doors to walk through to get where we want to go.
To the young graduate, the future may seem so big and vast that it may be daunting to know where to begin or which door to open first. I’m always encouraged by the example of the young shepherd boy David as he took on and, in fact, conquered the giant soldier Goliath in battle. David wasn’t tentative as he approached his fierce competitor. He ran to meet him! (1 Samuel 17:48) And that is my point.
How did young David have the confidence and fortitude to run to meet his formidable foe? No doubt, his faith was based upon his knowledge that God was directing and empowering his every step. He understood that his aims and ambitions were impelled by a divine purpose. And while, throughout the course of David’s life, that purpose took him down many different paths, he remained receptive, willing and ready for whatever God provided and wherever God guided him.
We must never stop running to reach our goals, regardless of failures, setbacks or even our age. Nor should we allow fear of failure to slow us down. Goals are not reached if we don’t keep moving toward them. Faith and willingness to go where God leads us increase our ability to see the many opportunities before us. There is no one last chance to accomplish a dream — unless we make it so. If one opportunity doesn’t pan out the way we think we want it to, like “Idol” contestants who didn’t win, we can move on to the next opportunity and achieve success through other doors.
So, to graduates and “American Idol” contestants, I say opportunities are infinite. Never give up. Keep your faith strong. Don’t let anything or any one opinion lessen your faith. Keep running toward your dreams and goals. God only wants good for His children, so stay open for an adventure you never imagined. God’s plan for you is bigger and grander than your own!
