Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
Have you ever considered yourself to be like Leonardo? You know — the famous Italian Renaissance artist and inventor, Leonardo Da Vinci. Being like Leonardo means you’re on a lifelong quest to find answers to all your questions.
Do you believe dreams can be turned into realities? Do you, like Leonardo, believe anything is possible? At any age, I might add.
In other words, are you a possibility thinker?
Recently, I’ve been trying to convince my husband that he needs to become a possibility thinker. In his case, he’s been ranching and raising coastal hay for many years. With two severe droughts back to back, it now seems we may need to explore other avenues for income. This feels difficult since it requires branching out from what is familiar. But there are surely other possibilities if we can just move ourselves into the mode of possibility thinking.
Perhaps we need to ask ourselves, “Where’s our childlike spirit with that unstoppable and boundless curiosity?” I don’t think it’s lost. I think it’s just been covered up with the rigidity, and perhaps comfort, of routine.
I think fear of failure often holds us back from trying something new. Or other fears grip us, such as fear of change or fear of the unknown. I can think of many times when fear of failure paralyzed my actions.
In elementary school, when softball was the sport of the day, I kept sneaking to the end of the line to avoid going to bat. In high school, I never auditioned for parts in school musical productions. In college, I wouldn’t raise my hand and tried to avoid eye contact with professors during class discussions. Since college, I haven’t applied or submitted my resume for some of the job opportunities that have come my way.
I’ve wondered how often fear of failure held me back and made me avoid new situations and experiences. Or how often fear of failure kept me from reaching my full potential and stopped me from even trying to accomplish my dreams.
I’m reminded of an old saying, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re probably right.”
If you’ve been reading my columns, you know that I’m a Star Wars movie fan. An incident in the 1980 Star Wars episode, “The Empire Strikes Back,” illustrates the idea of possibility thinking.
When asked to raise his sunken star fighter from the Dagobah swamps, Luke Skywalker responded he would try. “No,” scolded Yoda. “Do or do not. There is no try.” But Luke was not certain the Force could lift such a massive object. And indeed, he failed.
Yet Yoda, using the Force, did lift the x-wing fighter and place it on dry land. Luke exclaimed, “I don’t believe it.” And Yoda said, “That is why you fail.” Or as Mary Baker Eddy might explain it, “It is insincerity and a half-persuaded faith that fail to succeed and fall to the earth.”
Christ Jesus taught us much about the need for faith. One time his disciples failed to heal a child and brought the boy to Jesus who then healed him. The disciples asked Jesus why they couldn’t heal him. And Jesus told them because of their “unbelief.”
Jesus said we could “move mountains” if only we had faith. And that we only needed faith as big as a “grain of mustard seed.” He assured us that nothing would be impossible if only we had a little bit of faith.
The power in possibility thinking is becoming clearer. A possibility thinker is one who has faith that anything truly is possible. Who doesn’t let fear of failure stop them from taking action or from trying something new and different from anything they have done before.
A possibility thinker dares to imagine. He doesn’t let perceived limitations, such as age — or even drought — stand in his way. He doesn’t allow past failures to halt present actions. He doesn’t view failures as mistakes but rather lessons learned. So, he continues moving forward on his life journey. He never gets stuck in idle and overcome with regrets.
A possibility thinker is persistent, confident, determined and optimistic. She doesn’t let discouragement take hold. She enjoys new challenges. She has faith that there is a solution — and that she need only be committed to its pursuit.
Leonardo Da Vinci was clearly a possibility thinker. He imagined the possibility of flying machines, armored tanks, shoes that could walk on water and plastic — centuries before these possibilities became realities. He never gave up his search for solutions, and he never stopped trying to make his dreams into realities. His desire to learn was tireless and endless. Failures merely told him to take a new approach.
My husband and I are not yet sure what we’ll be doing in the future. But I think we’re ready to put fears of uncertainty and age behind us to consider the infinite possibilities — and be like Leonardo!
Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
The American dream tells citizens and immigrants it’s possible to be whatever you imagine, to achieve whatever you aspire to and to attain whatever you strive for. Yes, anything is possible in the land of freedom and opportunity.
And the American dream defines the way success is gained — through hard work, determination, self-sacrifice and perseverance.
Still for many, the “pot of gold” remains at the end of the rainbow — just out of reach. Why? Perhaps because too many think the American dream measures success by material wealth.
What if the American dream is not about a destination defined by fame and fortune? But rather the American dream is about the journey — a journey of vision and hope that encourages creative initiative and inspires goal-making and the search for one’s life purpose. And success is actually defined by a job well done and the good effort made.
Could it be that a wrong definition of the American dream has led to destructive obsessions as well as a lack of satisfaction and happiness with one’s life?
Ask yourself — Do I ever agree with the old adage, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?” If you answered yes, keep reading.
It seems for too many the American dream has become merely the quest for money. We never think we have enough. But, how much is enough? Our obsession with money has become the impossible-never-to-be-reached dream telling us we need more, we don’t have enough, we may never have enough, and we may run out. Consequently, our needs, fears and desires are constantly changing and increasing.
No wonder we’re stressed out. According to a recent survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, money was reported as the number one source of stress for 73 percent of Americans.
Most of us have probably heard the often misquoted Biblical statement of the apostle Paul, “For the love of money is the root of all evil.” I say often misquoted because I’ve seen it written many times as — “money is the root of all evil.” But I don’t think money in and of itself is the problem. Paul’s words indicate it’s more about our feelings about money that can lead to problems.
And I suspect it is our viewpoint about money that impacts how we answer the question — How much is enough?
My husband and I have been married over 25 years now. I remember in our newlywed years when we set a monetary goal we hoped to reach before our retirement. My hubby has always dreamed of retiring as early in life as possible.
The only problem with his plan was that as soon as we reached our savings goal, he increased the goal. We didn’t have enough eggs in our basket. Or so he said. In fact, I’ve lost count of how many times our goal has been increased through the years.
I’m not so sure that economy and inflation have been the main reasons to continually increase our nest egg. Lately, I’ve told my husband that I don’t think we will ever have “enough.” Or at least, I’m not sure he will ever think so.
Paul had it right. I think that a distorted perception of money is the root of many a problem and stress — and the cause of misinterpretations of the American dream. And for my husband and me, this perception has translated into worries about not having “enough” money for the rest of our lives. Not to be pessimistic, but who knows how long the rest of our lives will be?
Well, I don’t want to worry about money anymore. I think we’ve given so much attention to our future that we’ve kept ourselves from living more of life today.
To change this unsatisfying pattern, perhaps we begin by recognizing what we have. Being grateful for what we have. Enjoying what we have. And I’m not just talking about money.
We need to start focusing more on the “now” moments of our life. Stop looking to the future to provide the answers, the opportunities, the fulfilling of dreams. Improve today’s moments, making the most of them. Consider present possibilities — right now. No longer put off for tomorrow what could be done today, said today or experienced today.
I think these words from Paul are good advice for all areas of our lives: “Behold, now is the accepted time.”
Christ Jesus encouraged us to relax about our needs, to not worry so much. He said, “Don’t be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving.” And he added, “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.” He promised us that God would help us meet our daily needs.
I’m reminded of the travels of the children of Israel those forty years in the wilderness. Moses had promised bread would be provided each morning if they would trust in the Lord’s providing. He instructed them to pick up only what they needed each day — and not to store any away. And sure enough, those who were uncertain about trusting in the Lord for their daily supply did try to save some bread. But that bread spoiled before the next day.
This story is teaching me to trust more in God in all times and ways, day to day. It assures me that if I trust in God’s help to meet my needs each day, there will be no cause to fear an uncertain tomorrow. I can rest securely and confidently in my trust in God to supply, direct and guide my needs.
I think the American dream becomes the impossible dream only when we define success monetarily or materially. I’ve concluded that having enough is not about having everything we want. Perhaps we have enough as we appreciate and value what we have.
Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
So you had a bad day. Do you really want to relive it by replaying the details of each bad scene over and over again in your head? I realize that some bad days seem tough to leave behind us. Maybe we’re consumed with regrets, filled with frustrations, battered with self-condemnation or overwhelmed with depression.
What can we do to cut through the mire of agony that is bringing us down? Is there an antidote for bad days?
I guess there are many types of bad days. But perhaps the most common is when all that makes up our own unique minutiae goes wrong. You know . . . the day-to-day details — the very particulars that form much of our day.
When I was a teacher aide during college, I was introduced to a book that I was to read to a class of second graders. Little did I know that it would become a book that would change forever how I looked at my life!
So yes, there is an antidote for bad days, and its secret is tucked away in a children’s book. Actually, when I made the discovery, I wasn’t surprised that a children’s book could hold such valuable and insightful knowledge. Just look at children. They seem to be experts at falling down and jumping right back up again, perhaps after brushing the dirt off their pants first. Then they immediately continue doing what they were doing before they fell. Isn’t this called resilience?
What’s the name of this miracle book, you ask? None other than “Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day” written by Judith Viorst.
As the story develops, Alexander has one of those bad days most of us can relate to. Shortly after his morning begins, he concludes, “I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.” You might reach this same conclusion, too, if you woke up with gum in your hair, tripped on a skateboard as you got out of bed, and dropped the sweater you were planning to wear that day in the sink while the water was running. Even before he had breakfast, he could predict what his day was going to be like.
And his day did seem to go from bad to worse. Nothing was to go poor Alexander’s way. From getting smashed in the middle seat of the car, discovering his lunch sack was dessertless, being told by the dentist he had a cavity, being forced to own stripeless sneakers, having lima beans for dinner, witnessing kissing on television, being made to sleep in railroad-train pajamas and so much more. Alexander’s day got so bad that several times he considered moving to Australia.
However, by the day’s end, Alexander reached a simple conclusion that revealed the secret to overcoming bad days. He said, “My mom says some days are like that. Even in Australia.” You get the feeling he turned over and went peacefully to sleep, leaving his bad day far behind him.
So I concluded the key to overcoming bad days is found in a childlike, resilient attitude. And guess what? You and I have it. In fact, it’s God-given. God lovingly provides his dear children with everything they need to meet and master whatever is demanded of them.
Yes, God’s children are buoyant, adaptable, adjustable, and flexible. This makes us able to recover strength, spirits and good humor quickly. If we let something get us down, we can bounce back into shape promptly.
Christ Jesus promised us he would be with us always. I’ve always trusted that meant the presence of the healing Christ power would indeed always be with us when we were in need. So, when we fall into the temptation of a burdensome, bad day, we have this promise from Christ Jesus: “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” And the ever-present healing power of Christ indeed makes all burdens light.
We are created spiritually lighthearted. And this gives us dominion over all the “earthiness” of life — which includes all the minutiae of our days.
Maintaining a spiritually lighthearted, resilient attitude is possible and powerful. I’ve been testing its potency since my discovery of Alexander’s book over 25 years ago. This state of mind can calmly cut through, slice through and walk through any bad day that confronts us.
Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
My mamma always taught her children, “If you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all.” What is it about the words we say that can have such an arousing impact on the recipients?
Consider how you feel when you hear. . . “I love you” or “I’m sorry” or even “I hate you.” Such words evoke strong emotions — of love or pain or fear. Words have the potential to leave indelible marks on hearts and lives. So perhaps we all need to be more mindful of what we say or write.
From the day each of us was born, we were hungry for words. We wanted to understand our world and interact in it. Even those of us who cannot communicate through speech, communicate words through sign language, symbols or Braille. Words allowed us to shape our identity and our ideals and became the basis for expressing our passions to others.
Imagine the songwriter who spends days looking for the perfect word or phrase. Or the minister who spends hours penning her sermon. Or the young couple belaboring over what will be their marriage vows. Words are carefully and purposefully chosen, and the results are powerful.
Think about the resonating words that are remembered from generation to generation. Such words as those from Martin Luther King — “I have a dream” — or from John F. Kennedy — “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.” Neil Armstrong thought carefully about what words to say when he took that first step on the moon — “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” These guys knew the potency of words.
And what about the timeless words of yet another man — Christ Jesus. Even though his words, when first spoken, were often not understood, appreciated or wanted, they have endured through centuries. Powerful words such as — “Judge not that ye be not judged”. . . “Peace, be still”. . . “Fear not, believe only”. . . “Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free”. . . “Wilt thou be made whole”. . . “Go and do likewise.”
These words, whether speaking to multitudes or individuals seeking healing or students eager to understand his teachings, instructed and transformed many lives and continue to do so today.
Yes, clearly words can inspire, motivate, encourage and heal. But words can also dishearten, hurt, discourage and destroy. So, the old adage, “Think before you speak (or write)” should be seriously pondered. In my marriage of 25 years, too many times I have forgotten to think before I voiced words that I later regretted. While I know it’s true we forgive those we love for things they say and don’t really mean, I know hurtful words can leave haunting marks on a heart. This makes me want to try very hard to remember to think and listen before I speak.
Knowing the right words to say as a parent can be difficult sometimes. But raising my daughter helped me learn how important it is to really listen to what our children are saying to us before we answer them. Listening became a prerequisite to understanding. And words that came out of understanding seemed to be the most insightful, effective, and instructive and led to the best and most desired results.
The “power of the press” takes on added meaning when you consider how much our lives are shaped and guided by the words that surround us. What happens when lies get mistaken as truth or important details are left out or slanted or distorted?
In every language, words communicate wants and needs, likes and dislikes, purpose and intent as well as threats and warnings. Words are the universal vehicle used to teach children, establish governments, inspire faith and beliefs and justify actions, behavior and wars.
For good or for bad, words are the driving force in our world. Given the power and use of words in our world, perhaps taking steps to better listen and understand words that people and nations use is a first step toward changing and improving our world. We must consider more carefully the words that are used to communicate, educate and inform. And if they are not good, then maybe they should not be said.
Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
My very favorite place to pray is by the ocean.
I’ve sat for hours by the seaside enraptured by the vastness and infinity of the broad view. There’s something about the wideness of the sea and the constancy of the rolling waves that makes my soul sigh in contentment and quiets my mind in peaceful reflection. I love the way I feel when I vacation by the ocean and have often thought, “How can I take this peaceful feeling home with me? How can I go back home and find freedom from the stress of life’s chores and responsibilities?”
Recently, it occurred to me that Christ Jesus provided the answer to these questions with his direction — “Enter into thy closet.”
In giving helpful instruction on how to pray, he said, “When thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”
I do love to pray when sitting on the seashore. It’s like my “closet.” I shut my eyes, not thinking about any troubles, fears or concerns. With each breath I take, I feel wrapped in God’s love. I hear the thunderous roar of waves crashing, but at the same time I feel the rhythmic and peaceful pattern of the waves rolling in.
I’m reminded of the biblical account of Christ Jesus calming the winds and waves when he and his disciples were on a ship caught in a storm at sea. As I sit on the shore, I feel as if Christ Jesus is speaking to my worries and proclaiming, “Peace, be still.” It’s as if a thought whispers to me, “You are safe. You are not alone. You are whole. All is well.”
I open my eyes once again to the vastness of the scene before me. Whatever problem, fear or concern that has been troubling me now seems very small, like a single grain of sand under my feet. There is clarity, and there is calm.
I don’t think the healing power of this prayer requires sitting by the sea. We can follow Christ Jesus’ prayer instructions wherever we are — whether we are at work, sitting in a hospital waiting area, standing in line at the grocery store, or are stuck in our car in a traffic jam. We can enter into our closet, that quiet realm of our consciousness that knows God’s presence and love is with us and is as constant as the rolling waves and as infinite as the inexhaustible waters of the sea. We talk with God and hear the healing words needed in that moment. And there is clarity, there is calm — there is peace.
Sometimes I have hours to spend in my prayer closet. Other times I have only moments to find the healing answer needed.
Many times in the past when sitting at my desk working on a deadline, I have been overwhelmed with a feeling of pressure, and I’ve been fearful that I couldn’t get the task accomplished when needed. I would become a clock-watcher. In fact, the more I looked at the clock, the slower ideas flowed that were needed to complete the project.
I found the best way to overcome pressure was to enter into my prayer closet. Moments of stillness and quiet reflection of God’s presence and “allness” were all that was needed. Soon pressure disappeared and was replaced with calm inspiration. Then, the needed ideas came into expression, and the project was completed on schedule. This has happened again and again.
Following the insightful prayer instruction from Christ Jesus puts on “pause” whatever is troubling or challenging us. Then, we’re reminded that Love, the Love that is God, is always with us. Peace and healing answers are found when our thought is calmed. We can all feel the healing peace of God wherever we are and in every situation.
Yes, my very favorite place to pray is by the ocean. But I’m learning to pray anywhere at anytime.
