Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
“What is something you would learn if you had the chance,” the survey question asked. I was stumped. I eventually thought of one answer — snow ski — but I still can’t believe how tough a question this was for me. And now I’m asking myself, “Why did I have trouble coming up with an answer?” Besides, surely I could think of more than one answer to such a question!
Do we ever learn all there is to learn?
As babies, we begin our lives with a big new world before us. Throughout our childhood years — truly — the world is our classroom. Our curiosity inspires our sense of adventure and keeps us expanding our abilities and honing our skills. The search to discover our talents seems inexhaustible and exciting. Throughout our school years we read, think, wonder, consider, explore — learn.
I’ve been out of school for many years now. Has something changed during my adult years that made me stop thinking about learning?
I came across some statistics that are almost impossible to believe could be even remotely accurate. (JenkinsGroupInc.com)
• One-third of high school graduates in the U.S. never read another book for the rest of
their lives.
• Forty-two percent of college graduates in the U.S. never read another book after college.
• Eighty percent of U.S. families did not buy a book or read a book last year.
• Seventy percent of U.S. adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.
• Fifty-seven percent of new books are not read to completion.
And yet 120,000 new book titles are published each year in the U.S. (bookwire.com) I know my daughter buys at least a hundred of those new books every year! I can’t say that I do the same.
I’ve read that entrepreneur, Bill Gates, attributes his success to his desire to never stop learning. In fact, Gates once said, “Every now and then I like to pick up a copy of Time Magazine and read every article from beginning to end, not just the articles that interest me most. That way you can be certain to learn something you didn’t know previously.”
I can see how success in life is connected with our willingness to stay open-minded and teachable. This means that throughout our lives we continue to ask questions, imagine the possibilities, and stay open to change, improvement, growth, progress.
One can also see how ignorance leads to fear. People are often afraid of what they don’t understand and what they’re not familiar with — what they have no knowledge of. So some people are afraid to learn something new if they think it will lead to changes from what they know and take them out of their comfort zone.
When people stop learning or stop wanting to learn or trying to learn or start believing they have nothing to learn, they cease to make progress. And without progress, there is no life. At the very least, life becomes less interesting.
Perhaps learning is a habit. And like some other good habits such as eating a balanced meal, exercising or praying daily or studying the Bible, we get lazy or negligent. And our laziness and negligence becomes a bad habit that is difficult to break — but not impossible. Any bad habit can be broken with due diligence and perseverance and good habits can be created and maintained in the same way.
Gandhi’s words, “Learn as if you would live forever, live as if you would die tomorrow,” tell us there is always more to learn and we should learn as much as we can each day. It is never too late to learn something new. I’m beginning to learn that the old adage — “Practice makes perfect!” — is always true regardless of our age.
I suspect I’m not the only one who is learning there is much more to learn. I know I need to learn to love more, to have more trust, to be more patient. I need to learn how to relax more, listen better, and forgive. Yes, there is much more I need and want to learn.
“A wise man…will increase learning.” (Proverbs 1:5) I want to be a wise woman! So my new approach to each day is going to begin with the questions, “What can I learn today?” Or better still, “What does God want me to know today?” I may not know what I want or need to learn, but God has infinite possibilities for all of His children. We can trust that God will direct us to exactly what is best each day.
And maybe some winter, I will learn to snow ski! Why not?
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
I just returned from a few days on the Alabama coast where I learned bikinis come in all shapes and sizes. That’s right, ladies. Whatever your weight, height or age, there is a bikini made for you.
I sat in my sand chair wearing my one piece, I might add, as women in bikinis walked by. I was in awe at their utter lack of concern for how they looked in their bikinis. My fellow beach lovers were clearly happy and content. Not one appeared worried about what others were thinking as they blazed trails in the sand.
So why couldn’t I join in their beach brigade? I own several new bikinis that I longed to wear. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for my final unwanted fifteen pounds to drop before I feel worthy of being seen in a two-piece. As some of the bikini-clad women walked by, I kept telling my daughter, “I wouldn’t do that.”
But did it really matter so much what other women looked like in their bikinis? No! So why did I think anyone would care about what I looked like?
I was not bothered or surprised that bikinis come in so many different shapes and sizes. I was mostly impressed by the vast number of carefree, very tan women who dotted the shoreline — and wished I could walk among them.
It eventually occurred to me that I was embarrassed and ashamed of my extra pounds and lack of tone. Indeed, I suffered with a severe case of self-consciousness. Or in other words, I struggled with an acute sense of self-awareness, which was exacerbated by my many shortcomings.
My self-image was being negatively influenced by my inner critic. And my inner critic had an image of what I should look like but didn’t. My daughter says my biggest problem is lamenting over what I looked like twenty-five years ago. Regardless, it became clear that I was not happy with my appearance today.
We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look and what our weaknesses might be. And it’s this point of view that has more to do with how we feel wearing a bikini than the actual shape and size of our body.
So how can I soften my harsh viewpoint? Feel good about myself? Appreciate myself — right now? This doesn’t mean I no longer want to drop those fifteen pounds — because I do. But in the meantime, I do think I need to change my inner voice from critic to cheerleader.
To begin with, perhaps rather than being so preoccupied with my body and its flaws, I should give at least equal attention to my thoughts and attitude as well as my abilities and skills. Perhaps I should begin with pondering the “me” that God sees and loves. God most definitely sees what is good about each of His children — cherishing our talents, celebrating our accomplishments. We should do no less.
While we may all have things about ourselves we would like to improve or make better, we also do many things and have many traits deserving of recognition, appreciation and honor.
My mamma has always taught me to look for and see the good in everyone. But sometimes I forget to include my own self in that practice. Focusing on the good we see in ourselves — especially when we base our opinion on what God sees in us — gives us encouragement to continue on a progressive path. Our inner cheerleader will point us onward and forward to higher goals and improvements, assuring us that anything is possible, obtainable and reachable.
Criticizing or condemning ourselves and our features can trap us in a self-sabotaging pattern that is difficult to get out of. We may become impossible to please and never appreciate the progress we make. This can lead to an endless cycle of discouragement and dissatisfaction.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” wrote Margaret Wolfe Hungerford in 1878. No doubt the human opinion of what is beautiful is as varied and different as there are people. This statement was actually written in various forms that expressed much the same meaning dating back as early as the 3rd century BC in Greek.
But the Creator of us all will always behold the unique beauty of each of His children. Look at yourself and others and embrace the beauty that is God-given. As we expect to see the beauty the divine Beholder sees, we’ll discover how really beautiful we each are — regardless of the size of our bikinis.
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Again and again we read in the Bible that Jesus was “moved with compassion.” And his compassion was always followed by his healing the sick and feeding the hungry. He even taught about the need for compassion in many of the parables and stories he told to his followers.
In fact, compassion is considered by all of the major religious traditions as among the greatest of virtues.
More than empathy, compassion is defined as the feeling that gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another’s suffering. Mercy and tenderness are among its synonyms while cruelty and indifference are its opposite.
I can’t help but wonder what a little compassion could do for our troubled and weary world — in negotiations, interrogations, debates and discussions. As we see the suffering of others and our hearts ache for their pain, do we wish we could help in some way? Making a difference in someone’s life does not necessarily require lots of money or time.
I can certainly attest that the compassionate understanding and kindness shown to me when I have failed or made mistakes, encouraged my growth and eventual successes throughout my life. Our words can have a powerful impact on friend or foe.
It’s helpful to remember that we are all in the same boat sharing this human experience. We are never alone. And others have undoubtedly walked in our shoes before. We’re not the only ones who have made the very same mistake or used bad judgment.
Yet have you found it easy to show compassion toward a friend or family member — or even a stranger — who’s having a tough time but you get angry or frustrated with yourself when your own life falls short of your ideals?
Perhaps you need a big dose of self-compassion.
Things will not always go the way we want them to. We need to learn to give the same comfort and care to ourselves that we would give to others. Showing compassion and understanding when confronted with personal failings will help us put our mistakes into a larger life perspective — a more balanced, objective point of view — and encourage our progress.
But let’s be clear about what self-compassion is not.
Self-compassion is not self-pity! It serves no good purpose to get lost in our emotional drama or immerse ourselves into a problem.
Self-compassion is not self-indulgence! There is nothing beneficial about indulging in unhealthy rewards or habits.
And self-compassion is not self-condemnation! Judging and criticizing ourselves for inadequacies or shortcomings keeps our attention and focus on the negative or buried in the past.
With compassion for ourselves when we have missteps, we inspire and prompt wiser steps that move us forward and closer to reaching our potential. We are better equipped and able to keep a clear eye on our goals.
A baby learning to walk doesn’t think twice about attempting to walk again after she falls down. And that baby will likely fall many times before she masters walking. But she doesn’t stop with walking. After she learns to walk, she tries running, then skipping, and then jumping. Before walking, she scooted, crawled and probably even climbed.
The idea is that we keep moving, learning, progressing, mastering new skills, gaining new insights and knowledge along the way. Yes, we may fall sometimes. It may take us a while to learn and get where we want to go. But we never stop trying.
Compassion will keep us moving onward and forward. So give yourself a hug when you need one. And pat yourself on the back and say everything will be okay. Be like the baby who doesn’t think twice about her fall. Keep on keeping on.
So the next time you’re feeling down on yourself, try a little compassion.
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
My husband inadvertently taught me a lesson this weekend on how to set priorities and keep them.
It’s rare that two social events capture my husband’s interest in the same weekend. The first was the premiere of a movie he wanted to see and the second, a concert by one of his favorite musicians.
The problem with this scenario was that this weekend would also be a busy hay baling weekend. For anyone not familiar with what this means, he would have days so full of cutting, raking, baling and picking up hundreds of hay bales that he would have little time to think about adding more activities to his schedule.
During hay season he generally tells me he can make no promises on our social agenda. But this weekend was very different because our social agenda concerned him more than it did me!
Now don’t get me wrong. I was interested in doing these activities almost as much as he was. But I would not have been as disappointed if we didn’t do them. This brings me to the title of this column. It became clear as Friday came around, that come hell, hay or high water, we were going to the movies that day. And indeed we did, as well as the concert on Saturday evening. He finished baling on Saturday thirty minutes before we needed to leave. He cleans up fast when highly motivated! Who doesn’t?
I’ve decided that perhaps the best way to determine how to set our priorities in life could be to ask some questions. What matters most to us or what will we make time for — no matter what, in any event, in any case? What are we determined to do even if it is difficult? In other words, come hell, hay or high water, what ranks at the top of our preferences, what takes precedence, what has our highest regard, what is our greatest concern, what will sway us into immediate action, what is so paramount that we can’t live without it? I suspect you get the idea.
I can see how this type of questioning and reasoning can help us set priorities that are truly significant and important to us. And with priorities that have our utmost concern, we will be prompted, aroused and fired up into action. We will set goals that we are impelled to accomplish, yes, come hell, hay or high water. I suspect our time management skills would also greatly improve.
It’s interesting that it seems the source of the phrase “hell or high water” may have had its beginnings in the early 1900s during the cattle drives, when cowboys were herding their longhorns through high water of rivers and endured the hell of trail conditions between rivers. The original phrase was “in spite of hell and high water”.
Perhaps in spite of hell and high water speaks more about the determination required to accomplish a mission, reach a goal and maintain priorities. This brings to mind a long list of needed qualities such as persistence, perseverance, firmness, tenacity, resolve, fortitude, courage, boldness, stamina, steadiness, drive.
I can’t help but also think that a person striving to accomplish his goals and dreams or reach his destination, in spite of hell and high water, also has clarity of intention, purpose, reason, motive and rationale. Consequently, this person will be able to stay focused on his direction, mark and objective, and he will let nothing stop him from doing what he must — again, come hell, hay or high water!
No doubt these attributes were demonstrated by such Biblical characters as David when he conquered Goliath, Nehemiah when he rebuilt the wall of Jerusalem and Moses when he led the children of Israel for forty years in the wilderness.
And as I said, I’ve learned a lesson this weekend about setting my own priorities — and also what it means to maintain them. Our priorities are important. And they need to be preserved and at times defended, come hell, hay or high water!
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Today I learned about the penning of the hymn “America,” as many of us call it. The song was first performed in public on July 4, 1831.
I don’t remember ever knowing anything about its origin before now. And I’m asking myself why that is. It seems there are many things that I learn, know, am told, accept and even take for granted, that I never question or wonder about. Perhaps freedom is one of those precious commodities.
It was a twenty-four-year-old theological student by the name of Samuel Frances Smith who wrote the lyrics we know so well — although I suspect most of us only know the first stanza of the four he wrote. Samuel seemed to have a clear view of freedom as an ideal to be lived, cherished and celebrated. No doubt it was his love, respect and awe of freedom that inspired his words.
I loved learning that his inspiration for these lyrics resulted in his writing all four verses within half an hour — and he wrote them on a scrap of waste paper!
I think inspiration of the heart often works that way — it’s immediate, powerful and complete, exactly what is needed. I’ve long believed that the inspirations that come to us are straight from God — His angel messages. I know when I get an inspiration, I grab anything I can to write it down. I don’t want to miss or forget what may be my most important news of the day. So, I really relate to Samuel’s use of scrap paper. For me, it’s been a napkin, sales receipt or gum wrapper — anything with some white space on it.
It does seem remarkable that he wrote this beloved hymn in a manner of minutes. I’ve frequently believed if only I could spend some time in a beach house or mountain cabin, I could think more clearly about some situation — I could feel the inspiration I needed. Samuel Frances Smith illustrated that inspiration isn’t dependent on time, location or even having all the appropriate tools within our reach.
So maybe all we need to do to be inspired is to be free of our own limited sense of what’s needed. Perhaps it’s our misgivings and uncertainties that cause us to not see the solution that may be right in front of us.
It may be kind of like when a cloud appears to hide the sun. The sun is still there shining. I know I still get sunburned on cloudy days when I naively believe there is no sunshine. In fact, the sun is always shining — somewhere!
And God is always sending us the inspiration we need, my friends — the ideas, guidance, direction. Believing this fact — knowing it, expecting it, trusting it — may be all we need to do in order to feel God’s angel messages right now — right where we are — regardless of our circumstances and surroundings.
After reading all four verses written by Samuel F. Smith, I realized that this song is a tribute to God as the “author of liberty” as well as a prayer for His continued guidance. And the Author of liberty created us in His image and gave us dominion (Genesis, Chapter 1), making freedom not only our divine right but part of our spiritual nature and heritage. And this is the truth for all of God’s creation — each man and woman around the globe. So it’s a natural instinct for us all to desire and love freedom.
Perhaps you’ll be inspired and find hope and a new sense of freedom by reading (as I did for the first time) all four stanzas to “America.” May “freedom’s holy light” give inspiration to all your endeavors!
“My country,’ tis of thee,
sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing;
land where my fathers died,
land of the pilgrims’ pride,
from every mountainside let freedom ring!
My native country, thee,
land of the noble free, thy name I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
thy woods and templed hills;
my heart with rapture thrills, like that above.
Let music swell the breeze,
and ring from all the trees sweet freedom’s song;
let mortal tongues awake;
let all that breathe partake;
let rocks their silence break, the sound prolong.
Our fathers’ God, to thee,
author of liberty, to thee we sing;
long may our land be bright
with freedom’s holy light;
protect us by thy might, great God, our King.”
To hear “America” sang in its entirety, try this link: http://schooltube.com/video/11706/My-Country-Tis-of-thee—Music-video-from-AmericaTheBeautifulcom
