Oct 26, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
The world seems trapped in perpetual “us and them” warfare – caught in the habitual groupings of nationality, age, race, and culture that highlight individual differences, rather than similarities.
At an early age we learn to pick sides for spelling bees, relay, baseball, or math teams. In our desire to be with what’s familiar, we may become conditioned to look for and avoid what’s different – not simply in acquaintances but in activities, choice of food, travel. Such a tendency imposes on one’s natural leaning to love others and is a perspective that has negative implications for humanity as a whole.
The story of a Midwestern farmer defies that perspective. Every year, he won a blue ribbon for his corn at the state fair. A reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with neighbors. The reporter was surprised; the neighbors entered the same competition. The farmer explained that wind blows the pollen from field to field: “If my neighbors grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn.”
What a life lesson! It points to solutions for every community and world problem and affirms that the welfare of everyone is bound up with the welfare of all. Further, it illustrates the effect of following Jesus’ command to love our neighbor as ourself (see Mark 12:31).
Recently, a report of the work of Heifer International caught my attention. This organization provides a continuing supply of food by giving families, rather than short-term provisions, an animal to raise – such as a lamb, heifer, or chicken. Even more compelling is the project’s “Passing on the Gift” aspect: Participants who receive a heifer, for example, agree to give a neighbor one of its calves, as well as the know-how to raise it. Each then experiences the joy of helping others while learning how to fulfill their own needs.
As a result, in places such as Tanzania, Christian and Muslim neighbors are, possibly for the first time, experiencing the wisdom and blessing of working together.
Individuals like that Midwestern corn farmer and Dan West (who founded Heifer International) saw the practicality of loving one’s neighbor, thereby debunking the “us and them” way of thinking. One seed, one heifer, at a time. “Us and them” strife is a call to prayer, which benefits society as a whole.
Prayer that strives to understand that God, Love itself, is the Father of all, will show each of us how to exercise love. Mary Baker Eddy wrote that working together isn’t always cooperation, but sometimes co-elbowing: “…seek alone the guidance of our common Father …,” and “…prove his faith by works, ethically, physically, and spiritually.” She added, “Remember that the first and last lesson of Christian Science is love, perfect love …,” and “that unity is divine might, giving to human power, peace” (“Miscellaneous Writings 1883-1896,” p. 138).
It is possible with love and prayer to co-elbow in harmony and peace! Unity is divine might and gives peace. Prayer that acknowledges unity as a law of God aligns thought with His omnipotence and transforms discord into harmony. Acknowledging that we share the same divine source disarms dogma and tradition that would divide otherwise well-meaning people.
Events that expose tribal factions and the mass mistreatment of certain groups can alert our prayers to accept this truth. Recognizing that there is only one God unifies us in the understanding that we all have the same divine Parent. And when differing and conflicting opinions, in our families, communities, and churches appear, our prayers can affirm the spiritual fact of God as Love and the interconnectedness of His children everywhere.
Our viewpoint then changes to “we” instead of “us and them.” Loving our neighbor becomes more about what binds us rather than what separates us.
Oct 24, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
I want to talk about marriage. And not because it’s a political, social and religious hot topic .I just want to talk about what marriage is to me. Not what it could be or should be or isn’t.
I know I’ve said this before, but my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this year. I suppose this is still worthy of recognition since the odds remain at 50-50 for marriages to end in divorce.
I wanted to be the first in my family who didn’t get a divorce. And… it looks like I’ve made it. These past 25 years have taught me much about the love that makes marriage go round and round.
I had heard that love often comes when you aren’t looking for it. Such was true for me. Toward the end of my college years, it happened in an unexpected moment. I fell in love with John while standing in line for an amusement park ride. City girl meets country boy. Seven months later, we married.
Of course, I admit “love at first sight” is ignited by infatuation. But a spark can grow into a blazing fire when given proper attention.
To me, marriage is a love story. It’s a union of two hearts. Not a way of life, but life itself. I believe when husbands and wives live love, they give eternal life to their marriage.
In his definition of love in his letters to the Corinthians, Paul explains how to live love. He says that love is patient and kind. Love is not proud or self-seeking. Love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. Love always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Love never tires of loving.
God is love. The source of love — kindness, compassion, affection. So of course, husbands and wives must be children of love. Both are unique and individual expressions of this love. This knowledge has helped me pray through moments when I was tempted to see my husband (or myself) as anything but the expression of God’s love.
God has created us capable of expressing love. Understanding this has helped me see that it is my nature to choose and live love. With love as my center, it has become natural to choose patience instead of frustration. Empathy instead of criticism. Joy instead of sadness. Peace of mind instead of anger. Trust instead of doubt. Forgiveness instead of condemnation.
Remember, I am sharing my conclusions about love and marriage after 25 years of practice. No doubt, my view has been shaped by years of progress, prayer and many tender lessons.
In marriage, two people choose to come together to honestly share their lives with each other. Being together is effortless. Being together is so enjoyable you want time to stand still.
Marriage is “being there” for each other. Taking care of each other. Making the other person feel special. Knowing what is needed without being asked.
Communication in marriage is a sweet interchange of openness and respect. Giving each other encouragement is the greatest of all gifts.
Having fun together and laughing together is natural in marriage. Laughter keeps us from taking our own point of view too seriously. Laughter can break the spell of anger or frustration. In fact, laughter helps me fulfill my grandmother’s advice, “Never go to bed mad.”
Romantic getaways and vacations nurture the love story — even if they last only moments. But they are moments for the husband and wife exclusively — walking in the park holding hands or having a candlelight dinner together. Or if you live in the country like we do — having a rendezvous in a hay truck parked next to the stock pond surrounded by cows is pretty darn nice, too.
Marriage is strengthened by trust. Enriched by passion. Brightened by sweet surprises.
Yes, I do love being married. So, how could I not talk about what I love most in my life!
Oct 13, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
When I think of Easter, I think of one of the most precious gifts Christ Jesus gave to mankind. The promise of resurrection – of life, and not of death.
At this time of year, many focus on the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. I embrace his crucifixion as the supreme model of unconditional love and forgiveness. He unselfishly bore our infirmities. And I’m humbled.
But I can’t stop there. Especially in light of the fact that the crucifixion was not the end of the story. Evil didn’t win the day. How important for humanity that his life example continued with his resurrection and ultimately, his ascension.
Renowned spirituality and health author, Mary Baker Eddy, writes much about the life and works of Christ Jesus and shares poignant ideas about the meaning of his example. These ideas are found in her book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.
Of his crucifixion she wrote, “Despised and rejected of men, returning blessing for cursing, he taught mortals the opposite of themselves, even the nature of God; and when error felt the power of Truth, the scourge and the cross awaited the great Teacher.” And she describes the cross Jesus carried “up the hill of grief” as “the world’s hatred of Truth and Love.”
Truth, as well as Life and Love, are among many Biblical synonyms for God, and error, the opposite of Truth, is one of many names Eddy uses synonymously with evil. And unfortunately, mankind has often found itself being misguided and controlled by evil in some form or fashion – dishonesty, jealousy, hypocrisy, slander, hate and all the etceteras.
Many have questioned why Jesus allowed his enemies to crucify him since they believed he had the power to stop them.
But might that be where one of the incredible lessons of the resurrection comes in? He allowed his enemies to attempt the destruction of his mortal life. But his resurrection gave us proof of his immortal life. And as Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “Nothing could kill this Life of man.”
What a promise for each of us!
His example teaches us that we can never be separated from Life, God — the source of our spiritual, indestructible, eternal life.
Can’t this knowledge also become our resurrection, in a sense, right now?
Think of the many ways we may feel like we’re being crucified today.
Overwhelmed with debt that seems impossible to get out of. Battered with illness leaving our body weary for peace. Depressed with loss and loneliness with dim prospects of a brighter tomorrow. Feeling misunderstood or not appreciated.
Might Easter give us the promise of being resurrected from such crucifixions?
Remember the disciples’ mistaken grief over the death of their Master. And their hesitancy to believe his resurrection could really happen. Christ Jesus later upbraided them for their unbelief, as the Gospel of Mark tells us.
Have we given up hope?
Perhaps it’s possible to believe no more that something can forever destroy our hope and peace – or even our health.
Is it possible that such knowledge, such confident expectation, could roll away the stone from our tomb of despair?
What if the revival of our faith and hope could bring renewed strength, regenerated courage and restored confidence. Such a faith might proclaim that nothing can extinguish our health, our hopes, our dreams, and our peace that is given by God to all of his beloved children.
And today could be an Easter for you and me!
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
For the first time in American history, there are more singles than married folks. Yep, heard it on the morning news the other day! Of course, another statistic reported that most of these single folks still live in pairs; they’re just not too quick to officially tie the knot. Interviews with many single women indicated they do still hope and plan to marry someday.
Although marriage may not be uppermost in the minds of all single folks, it does still hold true that singles are looking for love — a companion, a partner, a date. This is a topic that I can’t approach without thinking about my mother.
My mother has buried two husbands and one ex-husband, and at 80 years old, is currently married to a very dear man. After each marriage, she declared to me, “I’ll never marry again.” Indeed, as far as I could tell, she never looked for a man and didn’t appear to want one. Yet men seem to be irresistibly drawn to her, like bees to honey. Perhaps my mother has some helpful advice for those looking for love.
Let me introduce you. She’s a Georgia peach, as some would say, born and raised in and around Atlanta. She may be among the last true Southern belles, but I hope not. She has a welcoming smile, engaging embrace, friendly tone of voice and thoughtful gestures. She has honeysuckle-sweet charm and a mischievous spirit that covers up (at least to the eyes of men) her smart and savvy ability to get what she wants and when she wants it.
She’s always been brutally honest with every man she has met. She had one true love that would come first in her life, and she made this perfectly clear the first time she met a new man. Her relationship with God would have top priority, and nothing would ever interfere with what God wanted her to do.
There’s a verse in Psalms that expresses the depth of her love for her Lord. “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, O God.” (Psalms 42:1) Over the years, she has learned all too well that God’s love is a lasting love, a love she can count on. She knows God never takes His love away or disappoints, nor does His love die or have conditions. So, she has spent her entire life longing and endeavoring to know God better and cherishing His eternal love for her.
It was the first time she found herself without a husband that the Bible assured her, “For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name. … ” (Isaiah 54:5) I think she believed these words and never again thought she needed a man to be her husband. Whether or not God thought she needed a companion throughout her life or thought the men in her life needed her, I’m not sure. That God meets our every need, there is no doubt. Only for very brief moments in her lifetime has my mother been without a husband.
She’s always been able to appreciate the goodness in everyone and, by the way, she’s convinced that there truly is good in every person. My mother would tell you that God created us good, that the first chapter in Genesis confirms this. In fact, the chapter concludes, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31) My mother has yet to not find goodness in someone. Perhaps the men in her life were attracted to her recognition and appreciation of their goodness.
After a few years of looking for love in wrong places and faces, I decided to try “appreciating goodness” myself and see if this point of view could bring more good into my own experience — and love life. This was the year before I met the man who would become my husband of soon-to-be 26 years. A previous long relationship was so disappointing that I didn’t want to experience that type of heartbreak again. So, the year I met my husband, I decided to focus on completing my college degree and appreciating goodness everywhere and in everyone, including all the men I was meeting, being friends with and dating.
This viewpoint not only changed how I saw others, it changed my view of myself and consequently my actions toward others, too. You might say I started living by my Southern belle upbringing, which really is another way of saying living by the “golden rule” — treating others as well as you would have them treat you.
Who would have thought I would meet my husband in line at an amusement park ride? Each summer I took my niece to Six Flags over Texas to celebrate her birthday. My date had to work at the last minute and couldn’t go with us, so my niece and I set off for the park without him. As it turns out, my soon-to-be husband’s date couldn’t go to the park with him that day. We met in line and began a conversation. The rest is history. The old adage “Love comes when you least expect it” was true for us. But I believe with all my heart that meeting my darling husband was God’s plan for us both.
So you’re looking for love? My mother’s life-example teaches we can trust our loving Father to meet and provide for our every need. Being the loving children of God that we are means we spread good will, consideration and graciousness to all we meet. Before you and I know it, we will be like my steel magnolia mother with her captivating charm and impeccable manners. We’ll experience love because we’re giving it and living it — extravagantly.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
My friend Shirley passed on a few days ago. She transitioned to the next road of her eternal journey. There is nothing else I would rather write about this week than my friend and what she taught me about what it means to be a friend.
The memorial service held in her honor was attended by a host of family, friends and colleagues. One of the awe-inspiring moments for me was when one of Shirley’s former colleagues from 28 years ago stood up to speak. As he began, he said he was certain no one in the crowded room had ever seen him before. He explained that he had worked for a Houston newspaper with Shirley. At some point, he had an opportunity to go to the Middle East to be a correspondent, and apparently Shirley was a voice of encouragement amid a deep sea of disapproval. He shared that it was her encouragement that helped him make a career decision that changed his life, and he would be forever grateful to her. He remains an international correspondent.
Yes, my friend Shirley was an encourager. I, too, have been blessed to receive her emboldening and motivating words. If I was bewildered, confused, uncertain, doubt-filled or frustrated, her encouragement was there.
Shirley’s reassurance was not limited only to difficult times, but also, as her newspaper colleague expressed, to times of possibility when her cheering and boosting were perhaps the greatest. I think Shirley saw each of her friends, family and colleagues as on the road to reaching their full potential, and she knew encouragement would enable us to reach that potential. So she gave it abundantly. The inspiriting atmosphere that filled our conversations allowed me to think aloud when I was with her. Every dialogue was one of self-discovery, and I was changed by each and every visit. She saw the best in me and helped me to see it, too.
Einstein describes friendship in this way: “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” We read in the book of John, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) And Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loveth at all times.” Mary Baker Eddy sums friendship up by saying it brings “to earth a foretaste of heaven.” Indeed!
My good friend Shirley gave her life for her friends — giving her time, imparting her passion, contributing her energy, offering her ideas, bestowing her inspiration. I’ve heard it said that a friend is more interested in being a friend than in having a friend.
A synonym for “giver” is “angel.” I’m reminded of the song by a longtime favorite country-western band, Alabama, entitled “Angels Among Us.” I believe there are angels among us, and they’re also known as friends.
Shirley encouraged me to follow my heart, my dreams, my vision, my inspiration. I hope I make as much of a difference in someone’s life as she has in mine. May I never underestimate the power of encouraging words and always share them lavishly and bountifully.
Thank you, Shirley, for showing me what it means to be a friend.
