Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
We bought our Christmas tree today. Picking out a tree the weekend following Thanksgiving has long been our family tradition. But I have many friends who started their Christmas traditions earlier than normal this year. They just couldn’t wait to swing into the spirit of the season.
I’ve heard this desire voiced by strangers at my hairdresser’s shop, too. It seems there is an anxious longing to ease economic stress and worries, which has prompted some to get out their holiday decorations and music before Thanksgiving.
For many, Christmas brings a happy and blissful feeling, and yet for others, Christmas brings only sad memories and depression. Or this is what I believed before I began writing this column.
I have long held the opinion that an overdose of Christmas cheer generally pushes those teetering on the mental health brink over the edge. I had assumed that those who were “without” were depressed by those “with” — sometimes to the point of suicide. In fact, I was certain that the month of December was America’s psychologically most-menacing month, and I would have guessed that our nation’s highest suicide rate was on Christmas Day.
After doing a bit of research, however, I find evidence that suggests — as one study put it — “holiday depression is about as real as a red-nosed reindeer.”
Indeed, studies verify our national suicide rate in December has been either average or below average. One study cited the national average rate of suicides as 34 per million, with the average rate on Christmas Day as 30 per million. And the lowest point of the year was identified as taking place during the one to two weeks prior to Christmas.
While one suicide is one too many, I’m ashamed to admit that I was surprised that the national average was even as low as it is. I say ashamed because I think my surprise suggests that I need more faith in myself and my fellow human beings and our ability to cope with adversity. But I was heartened to learn that Christmas day and the days preceding it often have a lower number of people who feel inclined to end their lives.
I’m not dismissing the struggles some may be dealing with or the immense sadness some may be honestly feeling at Christmas or any other time. Still, I’m not sure why I have ever accepted that some troubles could be too overwhelming to recover from when my own personal experiences have taught me better.
My Christmases have not always been filled with merry gatherings and acquiring the gifts of my dreams. I can recall at least three family deaths that occurred in the days just prior to Christmas and a separation from almost all of my family during another Christmas. Many divorces among my family members have regrettably changed the face of our get-togethers over the years. And plenty of Christmas celebrations that were financially strained and even one when I was homeless.
But yet through them all, Christmas brought hope, peace, joy, fresh inspiration and comfort as well as the promise of a more prosperous and satisfying New Year.
Certainly I’ve lamented when loved ones were missing. And coping with change has often not been easy. But for me, Christmas has always helped to make everything brighter rather than the opposite.
Perhaps it’s the remembrance Christmas brings of the coming of a promised Saviour. I suspect it is the fulfilling of that divine promise that brings reassurance at Christmastime today. The gift of Christ Jesus was God’s most precious gift to humanity — a gift that is always with us. His healing message affirmed we are not frail, fear-driven mortals but rather spiritually strong, immortal sons and daughters of our heavenly Father. This is encouraging news!
So, if you are one of those who is struggling to feel the promise of a better tomorrow or you’re feeling very alone, please remember that just as God kept his promise long ago and sent His son to be our Saviour, He will continue to send His children — you and me — whatever we need to lift us out of the deep pit we may feel trapped in.
Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
I was excited to learn that the Dallas Symphony was paying tribute to Disney music, and I couldn’t wait to take my mother and daughter with me. Clips of beloved Disney movies were going to be shown on a big screen while the symphony played the coordinating soundtracks. I was certain this would mean I’d get a glimpse of Mickey!I wasn’t disappointed. As the lights dimmed, his smiling face with those adorable ears appeared before me. I didn’t need to hear the words when the music began — I knew them all too well. My eyes swelled with tears as I quietly sang along, “Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E!”
Symphony rule number one: No singing along with the music.
Were they kidding me? There was no way I could sit there and not sing my song! After all, I was born a “mouseketeer,” named after Annette Funicelo. It’s difficult to find the words to express the depth of my emotion every time I see the Mouse!
What is it about Mickey?
Walt Disney once said, “Mickey Mouse is, to me, a symbol of independence. He was a means to an end. He popped out of my mind onto a drawing pad…on a train ride from Manhattan to Hollywood at a time when business fortunes of my brother Roy and myself were at lowest ebb and disaster seemed right around the corner.”
Mickey Mouse may have given Walt Disney and his brother the financial independence they sought, but Mickey gives me hope.
I loved learning about Mickey’s history as it seemed the very essence of hope. And his story can fill us all with hope today. It’s a story that illustrates the darkest of day before the dawn. Hope assures us that there is always a way out of darkness — that dawn always comes.
A new day, new possibilities, new discoveries, new opportunities, new ideas — Mickey Mouse certainly provided all of this for Walt and Roy Disney. And when I’m in Mickey’s presence, I’m reminded all of these are available to me, too.
Every Disney story portrays “evil” trying to destroy “good,” but by each story’s end, “evil” fails. Disney stories provide a message of hope to anyone who has doubt about which is the stronger — good or evil.
And the words of Paul empower us when we are faced with challenges that would overwhelm and bring us down. He says, “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21) This sums up every Disney story climax — the character representing good proves that evil will not have the final say!
We claim our spiritual heritage as children of a loving God by looking for good, expecting it and having confidence in it. There is not a power stronger or greater than God. We have the God-given ability and capability to overcome the myriad forms of evil with good — with the power of God’s promise of good. And we have this divine assurance, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jeremiah 29:9)
So even in these dark economic times, our hope can’t be dimmed, diminished or destroyed. It may feel like the dawn is never going to arrive. But rest assured, my friends, it will. God’s promise of good can’t be stopped from coming forth. The Bible instructs, “Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.” (Hebrews 10:35) Indeed, God promises us an “expected end” — the recovery we are anticipating, the plan we are looking forward to, the improvement we are counting on.
We can know “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” (James 1:17) We can trust in this truth and as Jesus promised, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32) Trusting in God’s truths — His laws, His assurances, His promises — will enable us to discover the solutions and answers we long for.
The concert was about to end, and my daughter whispered that we must go home and watch a Disney movie. “Good idea,” I said.
And once again, I couldn’t help but sing the last verse of my song:
“M-I-C-see ya real soon. K-E-Y-Why? Because we like you. M-O-U-S-E.”
And I’ll see you all next week! Need a good dose of hope? Watch a Disney movie!
Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
My family’s presidential preferences remind me of a Civil War family’s divisions— with some choosing to wear blue and others gray. The modern-day red and blue distinctions among my family members are indelible and unwavering. “War” has been declared with some anxious to vote early so they can “kill” the rest of our votes before we go to the polls. The implication is that victory will be decided on November 4. Sound too melodramatic?
As election day gets closer, I’m trying to get some fresh inspiration to prepare myself for the results. With all the uncertainty and fears that abound regarding our national security and our current economic instability, emotions and opinions are intense about how to move forward. My daughter says she’s counting on me to keep cool. In fact, she likes to call me an “extreme moderate.”
I’ll admit that prior to this year, I’ve never planned to vote in an election that mattered this much to me. While I’ve always had my favorite candidates, I’ve also been able to respectfully accept the results and resolve to support my new President even when he wasn’t my choice.
I don’t believe God favors one of His children more than another.
This time around, I admit I’ve sometimes allowed myself to be influenced and inflamed by campaign rhetoric, which we all know has often been filled with much negativity. And I do have an opinion about who I think has the best policy plans and abilities.
Still I’m not so sure that any one person or President can really know all the best solutions. And I don’t believe God favors one of His children more than another. Nor do I believe that God provides one of His children with more wisdom than another.
There are many Biblical examples of how peace and unity were achieved in the midst of disagreements and tensions. One that comes to mind was between Abram (later called Abraham) and his nephew, Lot. Abram and Lot, along with each of their servants, shepherds, herdsmen, and families, were traveling to find a new land where a great nation was going to be formed according to God’s word.
Once they’d reached this land, it became clear that Abram and Lot needed to separate civilly for there to be sufficient room for the two of them. Their herdsmen and shepherds argued about which section of land should belong to whom. Because Abram was certain that God would take care of them both, he told Lot to choose the land he wanted. He said, “Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren.”
Perhaps the success of America will be determined by the civility and ingenuity of its people.
It seems to me that the time is approaching for us to all remember that we, too, are “brethren”– fellow Americans who share the same dreams, hopes, and vision for our country. We may all have varying opinions on how we reach these dreams, but that’s the beauty of democracy.
We debate, argue, and discuss. We agree to disagree when necessary and compromise for the greater good. Then we unite and aim to have a peaceful transfer of power. And we continue on our course to build an even greater nation.
Throughout my life, I’ve been determined to express respect toward the President regardless of his political party affiliation and despite whether or not I voted for him. Perhaps the success of America in the future will be determined as it always has been in the past by the civility and ingenuity of its people.
A friend recently reminded me that Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science, once told her students they needed to have “faith in God’s disposal of events” (Miscellany, 281:6). And she shared some of the many definitions she was finding as she pondered the meaning and implication of the word – “disposal.” There were words such as direction, order, placement, management, tending, provision, organization, power to use, as well as settling, getting rid of and weeding out. A plethora of ideas to consider!
We should pray that our leaders are receptive to God’s directing and wisdom.
So I, too, am trying to have “faith in God’s disposal of events” and I must admit it’s a relief to be able to put all my worries and fears in the hands of our Father-Mother God. This makes me hopeful that what seems like our country’s many unsolvable problems are indeed solvable. My confidence grows when I remember these words of Christ Jesus, “With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” All the more reason to pray that our leaders are receptive to God’s directing and wisdom!
So when the dust settles from the “final battle” on November 4, I resolve to stay focused on what I’m going to do next to best support and help my country. No doubt I should consider more wisely how my environmental and financial decisions impact the rest of us. But I’ll also work to have the right attitude and pray to support my leaders–all of them.
Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
Lately I’ve been singing a line from the 1965 hit single by The Animals — “We gotta get out of this place.” Except I’ve been singing “I” gotta get out. I found it interesting to learn that this was a popular song among soldiers during the Vietnam War and that this song is on Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 greatest songs of all time. A bit more research informed me that the verse is talking about the singer’s father, who at the end of his life had little to show for it.
So why has this verse been ringing in my head?
Perhaps I need a break from all the Presidential campaign rhetoric? Maybe I feel pushed to the edge with lots of unwanted family drama? Maybe I’m tired of worrying about stock market losses and what we’re going to do next? Or perhaps I, too, am frustrated and dismayed at how little I’ve accomplished with my life?
It seems I’m not alone. A new national poll suggests that only a quarter of Americans think things are going well in the country today, while the rest of those questioned are angry, scared and stressed out.
When I was growing up and my mom and I needed a break or wanted to chill out, we would head to the beach (about a thousand miles from our home) for some recoup time. There was something calming about listening to the ocean waves crash and enlightening about gazing at the endless ocean horizon. Problems that seemed huge and unsolvable became small and fixable as we soothed our feet in the infinite grains of cool sand.
I guess lately I’ve been feeling the desire to escape the way my mom and I used to do. Taking a day off or time out to gain perspective and restore confidence is often a good idea. Even Jesus had days when he took the time to be alone to pray and I suspect search for clarity and peace of mind.
We read in the Bible, “he went up into a mountain apart to pray” (Matthew 14:23) and another time when he told his disciples, “sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder.” (Matthew 26:36) Jesus also gave us instruction about how to pray. He said, “when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father…” (Matthew 6:6)
This prayer tip has been helpful to me many times in my life, and I think it may be what is impelling my current desire to escape.
I don’t know that I’m going to be able to head to the beach this time because it is still about a thousand miles away from my home, and it is difficult for me to justify the gas expense of the drive. But the beach isn’t my only option for a “prayer closet.”
I have found it imperative to look for opportunities to be alone and quiet — wherever that takes me. This might be a candlelight bath, a walk in the country side, a drive to a nearby lake, or sometimes it is just shutting my office door and closing my eyes and pondering how much greater God’s love is than any problem I’m facing.
Have you read Psalms 23 lately?
I love the verse, “Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.” It’s very comforting to know that no matter where I am or what I’m dealing with, God is going to give me a table — a chart, graph or plan — to face and conquer whatever battle I’m confronting.
There is a healing solution for any problem we face, my friends. Have no doubt about it — God only wants good for His children. And He is always with us, sustaining and strengthening us, and ready to give the guidance we need.
It now occurs to me that the place I’m longing to get out of is the mental chaos I’ve been living in. And I can change that residence right now. It doesn’t require a long drive or money or even a lot of time.
I only need to fill my thoughts with God’s assurances and promises to find the peace of mind I long for. And that spiritual perspective will also enable me to accept and support whoever my new President is, deal with the latest family drama as well as calm financial fears. And a spiritual perspective is already telling me that God’s plan and purpose for my life doesn’t end when I reach a certain age.
If you feel angry, scared or stressed out, you can get out of the mental chaos that is causing it. God has a table ready for you, too!
Nov 16, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.
Even as the TV screen flashed images of raging water, a flood survivor was able to express humor in the midst of his own catastrophe. I was impressed.A reporter was interviewing this man as he stood on his home’s second-floor balcony. A swollen river had submerged his first floor. The reporter made the statement that this man’s town was under water and everyone appeared to have left. And the man chuckled and jokingly responded, “Yes, my town’s population is now only one.” Never during the conversation was there an apparent sense of doom. Instead, the man went on to share his confidence that he’d surely recover and rebuild.
As I think about this one story, I continue to be inspired by that man’s upbeat attitude and expectation. And I asked myself, How can I better practice joy on dark days?
Maybe you’ve heard the old adage, “Laughter is the best medicine.” I was intrigued to learn recently that there’s actually such a thing as laughter therapy. Apparently, a number of medical studies are concluding that laughter and humor, applied to distressing situations, just may be the best remedy.
But is humor merely part of a stoic “grin and bear it approach”? A “cheer up and smile” to someone who’s struggling? I don’t think so. Throughout my life, I’ve returned again and again to Jesus’ words “. . . and your joy no man taketh from you” (John 16:22). And I’ve discovered that nothing can take away honest joy, because joy is indeed God-given. In fact, I’m convinced that there’s real healing power and value in joy that springs from spiritual convictions. It’s this kind of joy that lifts us up, shifting our focus from a sense of human helplessness, to the naturalness of God’s care for His children.
I’m learning that being spiritually lighthearted means letting go of and placing the burdens of life where they belong-on the shoulders of our Father-Mother God. This truly does lighten all burdens by pointing us upward and making our days bright with the realization that there are infinite possibilities. God wants only good for His children and will lead us to “dry ground,” where we can continue our journey with sure footing.
I’m reminded of these words of Paul in his epistle to the Romans: “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (12:21).
This tells me that acknowledging the presence of God’s love-right in the face of chaos-will enable me to better feel the power of God’s law of good. It’s not about being in denial of the “bad stuff.” But I do believe that opening our thoughts to seeing a promising horizon enables us to find the spiritual levity that lifts us up, and brings with it all of God’s goodness, including joy. Who hasn’t experienced blessings from life changes that follow adversity? Much is to be
gained amid struggles, and often it’s depressed vision that keeps us from seeing what can be gained.
I love these words of the Psalmist: “. . . when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I” (Ps. 61:2). Nothing saps one’s energy more than the time and focus put into trying to manage crises. It can be overwhelming if we feel responsible for manipulating circumstances that are beyond our control. This ultimately leads to believing that the situation or problem is beyond God’s jurisdiction, too. Mary Baker Eddy wrote in Science and Health that such an admission “disarms man” and “prevents him from helping himself” (p. 394).
Maintaining a sense of humor can turn a once formidable looking issue into something more manageable. Consequently, this view provides opportunities for greater objectivity and creative insight.
Letting go of burdens, we also help ease them for others. After watching that one man’s lightheartedness when floodwaters filled his house, I’m putting my frustrations in perspective, and praying more consistently to acknowledge the power of lasting joy in everything.
Even through the darkest moments, cultivating a lighter heart (and sometimes even having a good laugh) can go a long way in helping myself, and others, break free from suffering and discouragement. The restorative effects of joy just can’t be underestimated.
