When change is not the change you want

by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.

Change is in the air. The cooler temperatures that autumn has been bringing lately have been a welcome relief from the hot Texas summer. But more pleasant days are the only changes I am welcoming this fall.This year’s Presidential campaigns have been filled with promises of change. The problem with this change is that I’m uncertain if who I want to be the next President of the United States will indeed be so. Whether I have cast my vote for a Democrat or Republican, I have cast a losing vote more often than a winning one. Of course, there is not yet a clear indication of who will indeed win this year’s election, since polls are still predicting a close race.

Speaking of polls — are you like me and wonder if you will ever get to be one of the 1,000 Americans who are given the power to speak on behalf of the rest of us? I’ve always questioned whether or not the few voices in a poll were truly capable of speaking for the other 300 million Americans. And for that reason, I continue to be amazed at how much credence is given to polling results.

Psychologists call it the bandwagon effect. You may have heard the phrase, “jumping on the bandwagon,” which is the observation that people often do and believe things because many other people do and believe the same things — regardless of any underlying evidence. And countless research studies have proven the bandwagon effect occurs in voting.

Perhaps this is why new poll results are published daily. Evidence has long proven that some people vote for those candidates or parties who are likely to succeed (or are proclaimed to succeed by the media). Since research evidence affirms that shifts in opinions can occur because individuals draw inferences from the decisions of others, I suspect we will continue to hear and read about polling results — however disproportionate and inconclusive they really are.

But a change of president for our country is not the only change I’m anxious about. Ill health, marriage troubles, career moves and relocation dominate the scene among my family members and propose many changes I’m not looking forward to. And my own age and dissatisfaction with past career and education choices has me indecisive about making future changes myself. Overall — at this moment — change just doesn’t feel like a good thing in my life. Or the anticipation of change fills me with more dread than expectation of good.

And yet remembering past examples of God’s sustaining care brings me to the conclusion that my best solution lies in the affirmation and guiding principle for many Americans — “In God we trust.”

My trust in God grows out of the fact that God doesn’t change. God doesn’t come and go. God isn’t sometimes available and sometimes not. God is good – always. God loves His children – always. God cares about His children and always wants what is best. His guidance will never fail us.

Sometimes change is needed and wanted. Other times change appears to be anything but good. But the only thing I am certain of is that regardless of the circumstances or even the outcome of an election, we can trust in God to lead us and our leaders to better times, to healing solutions, to restored confidence and renewed hopes — to progress.

Perhaps the Psalmist offered us the best assurance when he wrote, “Whither shall I go from thy spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. (Psalms 139)

I’ll be trusting in this promise as I head into unchartered territory this fall. If you are facing changes you’re unsure about, I hope you can also find peace of mind and encouragement in knowing that God is there for you. You are not alone. You can depend upon God’s presence and help. And His promise of good is one thing you can always count on.

Just fix it!

by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.

I may not be an expert in economics, but I have survived difficult times and prospered in spite of having little money. My first lessons in overcoming challenging financial crises came from my mom.When my mother divorced my dad, she lost the financial security he had provided. This meant that this woman — without a formal work history or higher education — had to find a way to support herself and her remaining child at home – me. She gave up her house and pretty much all material possessions from a 26-year marriage and left her home state of Georgia in search of a better and happier life. We headed west.

In short — we were homeless. All we had was what we could pack in a friend’s car.

The faith-filled prayers of this woman came from her confidence that God would care for His beloved children. Her story may not be a rags to riches one, but my mom was always able to provide the necessities and essentials.

She had an often miraculous way of making a little go a long way. Consequently, I never thought we were poor.

Remember the children’s song about Henry who announced to Liza that he had a hole in his bucket? I’ve always been amused by Liza’s response, “Well fix it, dear Henry….” That’s the type of solution my mom would suggest today to Henry or anyone else.

She would say, “If you have a hole in your bucket — just fix it.” She would be certain there was a way to fix any hole. And she would never give up on attempts to make the needed repair. Panic was not a reaction natural to her. I think her calm assurance and resilience was imbedded in her spiritual resolve, based upon her faith in God’s care and love for His creation.

I love the Biblical example of supply that is told in II Kings. (II Kings 4:1-7) Apparently, a woman whose husband had died was in financial trouble. I guess her husband had some unpaid debts, and the creditor was demanding payment from her even if he had to take her two children as slaves.

This woman went to Elisha for help. Elisha asked her, “What do you have in your house?” Her first response was, “Nothing.” But then she corrected that answer to, “Well, I do have a little oil.”

Elisha told her to borrow jugs and bowls from all her neighbors. After this was done, Elisha instructed her to pour oil into each container. She followed his advice.

In fact, after all the containers had been filled, she still had oil left over. Elisha told her to sell the oil-filled containers and make good on her debts, and the leftover oil would be sufficient for she and her sons to live on.

How many times will panic, fear, and doubt blind us into believing there is nothing we can do, that the problem is too big or impossible to fix?

I think Elisha’s question — “What do you have in your house?” — is very poignant. It points us in the direction where we can find our answers. I think his question is assuring us that whatever answer we need is within our grasp — that a solution is indeed reachable. It is saying, “Don’t panic! Don’t get caught up in any hyped up fears!”

And his question very much reminds me of my mother’s way of solving every financial crisis she has faced. Her approach was solidified with certainty, expectancy and creativity. She confronted each challenge step by step, being grateful for and valuing any progress — whether big or small. She never became daunted by any single task that was required. And she never took her eye off the ball — her goal, her destination, her dream.

Her life example has created within me the same financial confidence. Whether I have abundant money in the bank or not, I never doubt I will have the means to do whatever is needed. For me, this included going to college when I had no idea how I would pay my tuition. But semester by semester, I found the ways to do just that. Confidence often opens unexpected doors.

So I’m not overly worried about our American economy right now. A crisis can be exacerbated by overreaction that comes from emotion-driven decisions. Fear too often carries a danger all its own as it breeds panic. We must choose between fear and confidence. Both are contagious.

Perhaps we need to take some deep spiritual breaths, remembering there is a divine and infinite source for all our needs. And remain calm. I think we will find, like my mom proved again and again, that confident resolve will lead to fixing any “hole” that needs fixing.

When faith falters

by Annette Bridges. ©2008.  All rights reserved.

I thought I had faith. I thought I could trust with confidence and certainty. But our trip to a remote area of Colorado proved to be a telling experience for me. At first I relished in the bliss of no phone calls from the dozens of advertisers that daily disturb the peace of my days back home. But it became disconcerting to be cut off from communication with our family. So my husband and I drove to the closest “village” where we could check emails and had cell phone service.

The peace and quiet in our mountain cabin was even quieter than our country house in Texas. And although we didn’t have the broad horizon we enjoy at home, we were awed by majestic mountain peaks that encompassed us with their strength and protection.

It was the night before we were to head back when our miniature dachshund, Lady, was stung by something unbeknownst to us and had a severe allergic reaction. We finally learned there was a veterinarian about an hour away but his office was closed until the next morning and he could not be reached.

I found myself grappling with what I believed about God, life, death and evil. And I began asking questions.

Am I without any recourse and help? Do I believe that God would create something that can harm or destroy his beloved creation? Do I believe that God is the only power, Creator and that God is good? Or do I believe that evil is another power that threatens the existence of God’s creation? Do I believe that God’s love and care is present with me no matter where I am? Do I believe when Jesus said “I am with you alway” (Matthew 28:20) that he meant the healing power of Christ would be with me today, healing and saving, just as Christ healed the multitudes centuries ago?

When Lady began to get worse, we drove into the village and called a friend to pray. She prayed with us throughout what would be a sleepless night.

I wrestled with many questions that long night — perhaps something like Jacob when he was overwhelmed with the fear of confronting his brother. (Genesis, Chapter 32) But at the conclusion of his struggle with fear — and probably also with guilt and self-condemnation — he found his peace and said, “I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.”

I pondered the stormy night the disciples and Jesus encountered while on a ship. Although they were in turbulent waters and high winds, Jesus slept peacefully on his pillow. But the disciples woke him franticly exclaiming, “Master, carest thou not that we perish?” Jesus got up and “rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still.” Then the Bible tells us “the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” Jesus asked his disciples, “Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?” (Mark 4:37-40)

I thought about the demeanor Jesus maintained in the midst of a storm — composed, unmoved, unagitated, cool-headed. Inspired and encouraged, I affirmed what I believed to be the eternal and spiritual truth about God and all of His creation and considered how Jesus would answer my questions: “No, no, yes, no, yes, yes!”

And like a lawyer defending my innocent client, I argued “Be still” to each fear and the physical evidence before my eyes and I contended that peace was a law of God that was powerful and permanent and could not be taken away from any of God’s creation.

By morning’s light Lady was definitely better and calmer but still suffering with some uneasiness and bothersome symptoms. So we took her to the veterinarian’s office when he opened. He confirmed she was beyond the “crisis point” as he called it and was on the mend. He said he could give her something that would ease her remaining discomfort and help her relax for the long trip.

Since returning home I’ve been continuing to reflect on this challenge to my faith. I am certain that our dachshund’s survival that night was the result of prayer and spiritual reasoning. And although I’m sure I have much more to learn on my journey ahead, I am determined to never avow that “evil” — in whatever form — is some invincible or inevitable power. Evil is not only defeated by God’s truth and law, it is proven powerless and diminished to the “nothingness” that it is or ever was as far as God is concerned.

My faith has been strengthened.

Don’t miss a thing!

by Annette Bridges. © 2008.  All rights reserved.

I’ve read that some scientists believe that human beings have a curious capacity to take things for granted. It is suggested that repetition and time are the culprits that dull our sense of wonder. For example, they say even the most exquisite diamond loses its luster with familiarity or the sunrise fails to astonish because it is commonplace.

Certainly there are many things that have become routine and expected in my life.

Have you ever been in the shower washing your hair, as I have, when suddenly the water stops coming out because city crews have shut down the system for repairs? Or how about when storm damage causes the loss of electricity? Or your car is in the shop and you have no other mode of transportation? Can you remember what life was like before the internet and cell phones? Or what about the brother you can always count on, or your good health or the many freedoms we enjoy in America? Oh yes, there are many things, experiences and people I’ve taken for granted!

An email landed in my box this week that inspired more thought on this subject. It told about a group of students who were asked to name what they thought were the Seven Wonders of the World. The wonders which received the most votes included Egypt’s Great Pyramids, Taj Mahal, Grand Canyon, Panama Canal, Empire State Building, St. Peter’s Basilica and China’s Great Wall.

But apparently one student had trouble finishing her list, stating she could not make up her mind because there were so many to choose from. The teacher encouraged her to share her list aloud with the other students to see if they could help. She read, “I think the Seven Wonders of the World are to see, to hear, to touch, to taste, to feel, to laugh and to love.”

This unexpected list was followed by a poignant reminder —“the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.”

This student listed “wonders” that I never thought much about until one day a couple of years ago when my husband and I gave a terminally ill friend a jeep ride around our farm.

Riding in the jeep was not a big deal to me, perhaps because it was “old hat” as some might say. But my friend noticed details I never had and she relished every moment of her ride. I found myself being captivated by her adoration and reverence of what she was seeing and by every breath of fresh country air she gratefully took in. That was my friend’s last jeep ride. She passed on a few months later.

But my one jeep ride with her taught me lessons I will never forget. I discovered colors in the sunset I didn’t know were there. I learned that each of our cows has its own distinct bellow and some have really long eye lashes. I noticed that the deeper the hole you drive over, the harder your laugh will be. I found that looking out over big Texas pastures reminds you of the broad expanse of God’s love. And gazing at the horizon when the sun is setting fills you with a peaceful sense of the infinity of life.

So how do we keep our sense of wonder? How do we maintain our appreciation of all the everyday miracles that compose our day? And how do we never overlook the blessings that make up each life moment?

I’m learning that to even ask such questions is a good beginning. Pausing to ask these questions also requires pausing to explore for the answers. And our sincere desire to cherish life is a prayer in and of itself — and one that will be answered.

As I learned in my jeep ride, the more acutely aware we are of what makes up and who shares our days, life will be more meaningful and satisfying. Savoring and mindfully using any of the wonders of sight, hearing, taste, touch, feeling, laughter and love, will guide you to even more wonder that God promises for His beloved children.

Start right now — this very moment — and keep yourself in a constant state of awe, admiration and respect of every ordinary and extraordinary wonder in your day! You don’t want to miss anything! I sure hope I don’t!

Tackling tough problems

by Annette Bridges. ©2008.  All rights reserved.

Are our problems as big as we think they are? Problems often appear unsolvable on the surface. We feel a certain direction is the wrong way to go and yet we can’t think of another possible direction to take. The result is we may feel without hope for a viable and practical solution. At such a moment, our dismay becomes consuming, overwhelming and ultimately — paralyzing.

But perhaps the barrier to our thinking is our thinking. It could be that the most important factor in problem solving is how we approach the problem.

When difficulties arise, evaluate your first impression of the dilemma. Some say our first impressions of a problem may be similar to our first impressions of people. Ask yourself — “Are my first impressions narrow and superficial?” Harboring stereotyped notions will cloud vision, confuse reason and stifle imagination.

Perspective can outline and limit options and ideas and thus hamper results and resolutions. Indeed some have said — and proven — that a new view of a problem can lead to a solution.

I’ve read that when Einstein approached a problem, he found it necessary to formulate the subject in as many different ways as possible. He was once asked what he would do if he were told that a huge comet would hit Earth in an hour. He said he would spend 55 minutes figuring out how to formulate the question and 5 minutes solving it.

It seems his emphasis was not so much on defining troubles, but on considering alternate points of view. He apparently expected this process to inspire the elucidation that would lead to a feasible answer.

This approach to problem-solving suggests that when considering any predicament, we should try to restate the question at least 5 to 10 times to generate multiple perspectives about a problem. This method intrigued me and I’ve been putting it to my own test. I’ve discovered that what I often perceive to be an insurmountable problem will suddenly become solvable.

One day my question was: “How can I find sufficient time in my day to do all that I need to accomplish?” Admittedly, I knew at the outset that there was no answer that could add more hours to a 24-hour day. As I continued restating my question, the problem turned out to not really be a question of time as much as it was the need for practical daily goal-setting. Implementing Einstein’s problem-solving method has helped my days become more satisfying, productive and progressive.

Before trying Einstein’s approach, I was trapped in a daily pattern of complaining about not having enough time and consequently I never found a day with enough hours in it.

It’s like the story I once read about the housefly. I suspect we’ve all had flies trapped inside of our house who frantically buzz in front of a big glass window desperately trying to get back outside but can’t. Again and again, the fly hits the window going nowhere. And yet, all it has to do is go back through the open screen door which it likely came through. How many dead flies have we seen on a window sill? The fly dies because it cannot change its thinking — or approach.

As some unknown author once said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

Fresh perspective is imperative in finding new ideas and reasonable answers. And a fresh perspective is only born when we stop describing or ruminating about a problem in the same old way.

This approach to problem-solving changed many of my questions and resulted in solutions that were attainable and doable. My question, “How can I afford a bigger house with more storage space?” was changed to “How can I use the space in my current house more efficiently and effectively?” And my question, “How can I lose weight?” was changed to “What can I do each day to cut back on fat calories and be more physically active?” In both of these cases, I found satisfying — as well as immediate — results and solutions.

So do you have a problem that seems impossible to solve? Try Einstein’s method of problem solving and restate your question at least five times. You may be surprised how quickly you find an answer that works!