Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
So you’ve made a mistake. You know it and so does the rest of the world. What do you do about it?
Consider what American Idol contestant, Brooke White did. She began to sing a song and almost immediately forgot the lyrics. What were her options?
Option 1: She could have run off the stage in shame.
Option 2: She could have covered up her mistake by singing the wrong lyrics and hoped no one would notice.
Option 3: She could have admitted her mistake immediately and corrected it by starting over, giving her the opportunity to remember the lyrics.
If you’re a fan of the show like me, you know what she did — option number 3. And I give her kudos for her choice.
I think it accurate to say that we don’t usually make mistakes purposefully since most of us would say we don’t want to learn “the hard way.” I know I would rather “get it right” the first time. Still, it seems we discover a mistake only in hindsight — sometimes the moment after making it or sometimes not till we’re further down the wrong path. Regardless of when we realize a mistake, dealing with it appropriately requires courage and integrity.
Running away from a mistake will never help us discover the valuable lesson waiting for us to learn. I’ve certainly done my share of running from mistakes. For me, it may have been more of not taking responsibility for the mistake that was mine. It was easier to avoid facing this difficult truth. But was it really?
When a mistake we’ve made hurts others or causes problems for others, it is our selfishness and pride that feeds the unnecessary pain that a corrected mistake would alleviate. When we’re the only one suffering from our mistake, we will never get free from the misery and suffering our mistake is causing us, until we correct it. Then we would be ready to learn the lesson that will keep us from making the same mistake again.
Trying to hide a mistake is simply another way to avoid facing it and correcting it. It is also another way to deny responsibility. The cost is a high price to pay. It could be your credibility that is lost.
I don’t know if Brooke White will be the next American Idol or not. But she is sincere, genuine and honest, and I for one love her voice and style. I was in no way surprised by her ability to immediately compose herself after making a mistake — in front of millions I might add — and start again singing her song correctly and beautifully.
She gave us a good example for what to do when we goof. Stay calm. Keep our cool. Gather our thoughts. Consider what to do next to remedy the situation. And then do it. Don’t panic. Don’t run. Don’t cover-up. Don’t over-analyze or dwell on it. As the Nike slogan says, “Just do it.”
Although it may at first seem difficult to do the right thing after you make a mistake, people will respect and appreciate your honesty. Perhaps at times people won’t immediately value your owning up to the mishap or maybe even want to punish you for your failings.
But I know I’ve learned my greatest and most memorable lessons from my mistakes. I’ve always gained much more than I’ve lost from the experiences. And usually, if I’ve lost anything, it has been something that needed to be lost so I could gain something even better.
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
I find it encouraging to realize that a prayer response can be effective against contagion. This year’s intense media focus on influenza has at times felt overwhelming, with broadcasts simultaneously predicting longer flu seasons, speculating about next year’s epidemic, or even doubting that a cure is possible. Each report seemed to speak from the perspective that influenza is a fixed fact for all societies, for all time. Flu vaccines haven’t provided complete immunity from the disease. The US Food and Drug Administration’s chief of vaccine review, Dr. Norman Baylor, claims that this is because “influenza viruses are changing all the time” (³CDC Panel: All children up to age 18 should get flu shots,² Anna Boyd, February 28, 2008).
I’m convinced that confronting the so-called inevitability of flu epidemics from a spiritual perspective — one that refuses to accept any disease as certain — has the potential to negate the flu threat for all of us.
Consider the approach Jesus took to healing the sick. The Gospels depict Jesus regarding health as normal and God-ordained, without regard to any one disease being more dangerous or difficult to heal than another. He simply healed.
Think of the dad who brought his child to Jesus saying, “If thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us” (see Mark 9:1527). Apparently the boy had suffered for years with convulsions. But the history of the condition didn’t deter Jesus. He cured the boy immediately.
The Gospels also say that Jesus taught his disciples how to heal (see Matt. 10:1) and that he said, “These signs shall follow them that believe; In my name . . . they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover” (Mark 16:17, 18). And there are reports that this healing continued long after Jesus’ time. For example, in the Acts of the Apostles we read that “the father of Publius lay sick of a fever . . . to whom Paul entered in, and prayed, and laid his hands on him, and healed him” (Acts 28:8).
The record of Jesus’ example and teachings, along with healing works of his followers, promise that spiritual healing is possible for everyone to practice. The record suggests, as well, that divine power and divine law irrevocably govern our lives and health.
In my own experience, I prayed during a chickenpox outbreak at my daughter’s preschool. A number of children in her class were diagnosed with the disease, and parents were warned to expect their child to become infected with it. We were told to watch for its symptoms. Then, school officials announced that one more confirmed case would close the school.
As a practicing Christian Scientist I had a concern for being law-abiding regarding infectious disease laws. I also felt that prayer for my child –prayer that would also embrace all the children — was imperative. I’d experienced the effective power of prayer many times before. Initially, I was afraid. But I remember being sure that God loves and cares for His children, that He doesn’t create or allow sickness, and that God is the only power. I was certain, too, that evil in the form of the common belief in an infectious disease (however renowned and longstanding) was not another power besides God. Rather it was only a mistaken premise, an opinion or theory. My prayers had the immediate effect of dispelling my fears and strengthening my confidence in God’s total protection and power. There were no more confirmed cases of chickenpox in the school at that time, my daughter included.
Soon the children were all back in school. I felt comforted that perhaps other parents might have been reaching out in prayer for God’s help as well. Prayer is a tried and true defense against disease when such prayer acknowledges God’s authority and the superiority of spiritual power over frightening predictions and uncertain outcomes.
Mary Baker Eddy asserted that “evil thoughts and aims reach no farther and do no more harm than one’s belief permits,” and that “good thoughts are an impervious armor; clad therewith you are completely shielded from the attacks of error of every sort” (Science and Health, p. 234; The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, p. 210). This describes a powerful antidote to contagion, whatever the disease prediction and however persistent it might be. And as families and communities join together in prayer, the fear that flu season is inevitable can be conquered — as well as an epidemic itself.
No one can be excluded from God’s design of health for His creation!
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
Why do we believe the worst?
Why are we so quick to believe the worst? At no time does this seem more evident than during an election season. Yes, I think our leaders often bear the brunt of our worst beliefs, fears and opinions. I wonder if we usually believe the best about our loved ones not necessarily because it’s true but because we want the best to be true. So what of our so-called enemies or anyone we perceive as not on our side of an opinion or preferred political party? Perhaps we tend to believe the worst about them because we want the worst to be true.
Now, don’t get defensive on me here. I’m not talking about anyone in particular. In fact, these are questions I’ve asked myself again and again. I don’t like to believe without question the old saying, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” Some say this saying indicates that rumors are usually based on truth. I certainly concur that there is always a truth to be learned and understood, but it could be that the rumor turns out not to be that truth.
I guess some might call me a skeptic. If I am, then it’s because I want to believe the best instead of the worst.
And I hope my skepticism will help me make more rational judgments.
When it comes to politics, for example, I am trying to avoid selective examination of any evidence or facts. I am scrutinizing my choice of which news programs I watch and listen to and which magazine or newspaper articles I read. I admit that sometimes what I want to be true and what is true is not always the same.
I believe that I can reach a rational conclusion by being willing to accept a position that is based on as much available information as possible. So, I’m trying not to just read and listen to what I think will support what I would like to be true, but rather, I’m trying to read and hear all sides to issues and all viewpoints about all candidates.
It is, of course, difficult to root out cynicism and biases. But, at least I’m trying! I’m finding there are some useful practices that help me avoid the cynicism trap. First, I’ve got my eye out for arrogance. I want to keep this in check. So anytime I am super certain I am right — I stop and ask myself, “What if I’m wrong?” This is hopefully giving me the humility I need to change my mind or change my course when needed.
I am endeavoring to stay curious and assumption-free. I doubt what I first read or hear so I can stay open to allow new facts to emerge and be seen. But I’m not letting doubt become mistrust or paranoia. I’m optimistic and have good expectations. Yet, I want to be willing to be proven wrong, especially when I’m tempted to believe the worst before the best.
I’m often reminded of the time when John, one of Jesus’ disciples, was upset by someone doing healing works in Jesus’ name. The cause of John’s distress was that this individual was not among those following Jesus and listening to all of his teachings. In fact, John told Jesus that he and his fellow disciples told this individual to stop doing his healing works. But Jesus responded, “Forbid him not: for he that is not against us is for us.” (Luke 9:49-50)
What does this have to do with our election season, you might be thinking?
Clearly, the person who was doing healing works had heard Jesus’ teachings and probably witnessed his healing works, too. So, it wasn’t that he was so very different from the disciples who walked along with Jesus as he traveled the countryside. He, too, was evidently a believer and a doer of Jesus’ teachings. He hardly needed to be condemned for his good works and good motives.
I feel the same is true for those who want to serve this country in public office. They are all Americans. They are “for us!” I am trying to remember this important point even when I may disagree with someone’s path or the method he or she presents. And I applaud the candidates’ desire to serve this country to the best of their ability.
I can agree to disagree if need be, remembering that it could be that I myself don’t know the best resolution to a situation. And if the candidate I vote for come November doesn’t win, I can co-elbow with my next President, whoever he or she may be, and still have great expectations for the good of my country. I’m determined to believe the best about my new President before I believe the worst! And I’ll expect the best from my new President, too!
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
We were on a weekend trip to celebrate our wedding anniversary. Although we were going back to a quaint town we had visited many times, we were staying at a bed & breakfast we had never been to before.
For a while now, I’ve been trying to break free from old habits and routines and be more open-minded and flexible in every area of my life. Perhaps it was this change in perspective and purpose that resulted in a new discovery when we toured the town.
Natchitoches, La., is renowned as the oldest settlement in the Louisiana Purchase Territory, established in 1714, and is also famous for being the film site of “Steel Magnolias.” Located on the Cane River, shopping and dining in the city’s historic downtown is truly an experience that I never tire of. In fact, my daughter and I have made a Christmas shopping trip here for the past few years, and we plan to continue this tradition. Eating fried green tomatoes and Natchitoches meat pies has become an annual must-do for us!
One of my husband’s favorite shops is the Kaffie Frederick General Mercantile, which is touted as Louisiana’s oldest general store. It was in this store where I made my discovery.
As we meandered through its many aisles, I found myself looking up when we reached the back section of the store. Much to my surprise, I saw an opening in the ceiling with a sign explaining how “skylights” were original to the architecture and provided helpful lighting when there was no electricity.
I had toured this store many times and never noticed either the skylight or the sign. And I’ve been intrigued ever since, wondering how I could have missed this unique building feature during our previous visits — something that had always been there and yet I had never noticed.
I reasoned that because the store always has so much interesting merchandise to capture my gaze, I simply never had the inclination to look up.
It occurred to me that this is not that unusual. Whether in regard to shops, relationships or our jobs, many times in our lives, so much is placed in front of us — crowding or overwhelming our point of view — that it is sometimes difficult to see everything that is going on all around us.
Since my newest goals include to slow down, to make moments matter and to be open for new adventures and experiences, I’ve found that I’m not so conscious of the things that used to consume my attention. Consequently, this may be why I discovered the general store’s skylights during this visit — along with many other town features I had never noticed before, I might add.
For some reason I find myself thinking about a conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus. Jesus said, “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
The desire to further understand the idea of being “born again” has caused me to ponder the experience of a newborn babe. A baby enters the world without preconceptions. She is curious and alert to everything and everyone. She is eager to learn about and understand everything around her. She is receptive and inquisitive.
This seems to describe a helpful perspective for those on their spiritual journey — a perspective that would surely help them discover and understand their own spirituality. And I think it also describes a good disposition to be had in every aspect of one’s life.
Imagine approaching each day like a baby. Each day would be filled with new lessons to be learned, and you would be excited to learn each one. You would see life as filled with many insights and treasures waiting to be discovered. And you would welcome each day with joy-filled confidence and faith.
My hope is to approach each day with such childlike anticipation — always looking for and expecting to discover and learn something new. And again and again, the old would be made new.
Oct 28, 2008 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2008. All rights reserved.
It’s leap year! This of course means that 2008 has 366 days instead of the usual 365 that an ordinary year has. Have you decided what you’re going to do with your extra 24 hours?If you’ve ever watched the television series “24” — which lives out a day in the life of Jack Bauer — you would know that every hour of a day is important and can even change the world.
Wars can last for years and then end in one day. Presidential campaigns last for months, but in one day we elect a new president. Yes, each and every day — each hour of each day — brings with it endless possibilities and extraordinary potential.
Maybe you feel like one day merely follows the next with little difference, so you see no benefit to adding one more day to your weary year. Perhaps you see each of your days as trapped in a repetitious grind, much like Bill Murray in the 1993 movie, “Groundhog Day.” The movie depicts a man reliving the same day over and over again. And he is not to get out of its vicious cycle until he becomes a better person and lives the day to its full potential.
The song lyrics may have it right: “What a difference a day makes. And the difference is you.” Do you have any idea of just how much of a difference you can make and probably are now making in the lives of others? I suspect not.
Many of us get so caught up in the point of view that our days matter little that we convince ourselves our days are mundane and pointless. Since our attitudes can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, perhaps we need to take more care of how we think. So our solution is found not so much in the “what” of our day, but in the “how.”
How do you spend your day? Are you happy, sad, angry, satisfied, inspired or bored? Do you rehash yesterday’s mistakes? Stew over yesterday’s words? Fret about tomorrow’s uncertainties? Or perhaps you spend your day waiting for it to end?
The difference in your day is up to you! Again and again I’ve learned that my expectations never fail me. Regardless of the details of my day, if I expect my day to be bland, dull, unimaginative and tired, it most certainly will be.
Fortunately, there is much advice available to help. The Psalmist promises, “This is the day which the Lord hath made: we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms 118:24). I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t welcome the promise of being happy every day of his life.
Jesus taught, “You’re blessed when you get your inside-world — your mind and heart — put right. Then you can see God in the outside-world.” (Matthew 5:8)
This idea of being blessed — happy, satisfied, inspired — sounds like the kingdom of heaven to me, and Jesus said, “The kingdom of God doesn’t come by counting the days on the calendar.” He said, “The kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:20-21). So, waiting for your day to end or for the weekend to arrive or for the season to change doesn’t hold the promise of better and satisfying days.
Why wait? Why not make your day be the best it can be right now?
It is possible, my friend, to inject new life into each day. We begin by striving to make each day unique. This requires investing in our day — taking what we perceive as a humdrum, old-hat and stale day and clothing it with freshness, fervor, zest, interest and passion in everything we do and with everyone we share moments with.
I’m here to tell you that not only is it possible for you to do this, but it’s quite necessary if you want to shift your days from the mundane to the monumental. And you’ll see the difference in your day right now!
