Oct 26, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
What is the most recognized symbol in the world? A happy face.
Drawing a simple happy face is not, however, a modern phenomenon. In fact, researchers of ancient hieroglyphs have discovered some remarkably similar images to the grinning character we’ve come to know and love today. A smile has apparently long had a similar meaning in every language and culture.
Do you ever have days when a smile is hard to come by? No matter how hard you try, you just can’t bring a smile to your face. Your world feels so consumed with stress, grief or anguish that you feel there is nothing to smile about, nothing to look forward to, no hope for a happier day.
I can’t help but be reminded of a couple of famous songs. Nat King Cole’s “Smile” is the first one that comes to mind, with lyrics such as “Smile though your heart is aching … smile through your fear and sorrow … you’ll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.”
Next is the song from the Broadway musical “Bye Bye Birdie” — “Put on a Happy Face.” Its lyrics “Gray skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face” always makes me smile. And there are more lines that pep me up: “Brush off the clouds and cheer up … take off the gloomy mask of tragedy … pick out a pleasant outlook … wipe off that full of doubt look.”
And I love this remedy for what ails you: “If you’re feeling cross and bitterish, don’t sit and whine, think of banana split and licorice, and you’ll feel fine.”
Perhaps you may be a bit unsure that such a philosophy could bring positive and practical results. Yet even recent medical research has concluded that happy people live longer and lead healthier lives. But perhaps you’re thinking: Being happy is easier to say than do.
When our daughter was a toddler and lost her sunny disposition, we would tell her to go back to her room and find her happy face and come back when she found it. Generally, it would not be long before she would join us again with the biggest and grandest grin possible on such a little face. And her precious smile resulted in smiles from me and her daddy.
But maybe you’re thinking that you have nothing to be happy about. Or maybe you’re thinking that you’ve tried and just can’t find happiness. So, how can you put on a happy face?
Actually, I don’t believe happiness is found. I think it’s chosen and lived. I recall once reading that happiness is not a destination, but a manner of traveling. The Bible encourages life choices such as “rejoice,” “be glad” and “shout for joy.” And there’s a promise that comes from choosing joy as a framework for approaching life, ” … ye shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace” (Isaiah 55:12).
Have you ever tried giving the gift of a smile, even when you didn’t think you had anything to smile about? What if your smile could lift someone’s spirits, make someone feel better about himself, help someone to feel important, appreciated, wanted, accepted? Perhaps your smile would invite someone to share his troubles with you and give you a further opportunity to encourage, console, inspire. You just might discover that you are happiest when you give and do for others.
Still not happy? Change your expectations. My mamma has always said, “What goes around, comes around.” You bring your expectations into your experience. With joy as a foundation for your actions and attitude, everyone you meet and interact with will be blessed by your joyfulness.
Jesus provides much instruction that, when followed, assures our “joy might be full” (John 15:11). And the joy that Jesus promised cannot be taken from us (John 16:2). This joy is ours as we love one another. Loving as Jesus loved. Loving as God loves all of His children — impartially, unconditionally and eternally.
Choosing a joy-filled, spiritual approach to living enables us to stop negative thinking and talking. We can look for and identify the positives about a situation, an event, a project. If you feel irritated with your spouse, joy will help you remember and cherish the qualities you fell in love with. You will have joy in your work — no matter what kind of work it is — when you appreciate even one aspect that is satisfying.
Joy will help you put everything in perspective. A bump in the road is not the end of the journey. There is good to be found in every day and in every person. Look for the good, expect to see good, and don’t let a day go by without recognizing and appreciating the good in your day. And as my grandmother often reminded me, “Don’t ever go to bed mad.”
And in so doing … you’ll have something to smile about.
Oct 26, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
OK, so we all can’t be a contestant on the hit TV reality series “Survivor,” now beginning its 15th season. Maybe you don’t have any interest in being applauded as the “ultimate survivor.” But, no doubt, each of us will have many opportunities in our life journeys to proclaim, “I survived!”
Perhaps your survival challenge will be a difficult test at school, a tough project at work, a life-threatening illness or injury, a financial catastrophe, a marital problem or the loss of a loved one — the list could be endless. Whatever you face, you may have moments when you struggle with discouragement, feeling overwhelmed or afraid. But such responses need not be. Take heart, my friends! Defeating devastating challenges and overcoming daunting tasks are plausible and possible because God gave us the dominion and strength to do so. Jesus told us, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God” (Luke 18:27).
I’ve always been inspired by these encouraging words of American blind and deaf educator Helen Keller: “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it. My optimism, then, does not rest on the absence of evil, but on a glad belief in the preponderance of good and a willing effort always to cooperate with the good, that it may prevail. I try to increase the power God has given me to see the best in everything and every one, and make that best a part of my life.”
I’m reminded of the biblical account of Daniel when he survived punishment for worshiping God (Daniel 6:1-22). Daniel’s peers were intensely jealous of him because he was the king’s favorite, so they manipulated and tricked the king into creating a scenario that would get Daniel into trouble. Appealing perhaps to the king’s ego, the conspirators persuaded the king to sign a decree that required petitions be made only to the king — with anyone violating the decree to be thrown into a den of lions.
His evil peers knew of Daniel’s faithfulness and commitment to pray only to God — which he did three times a day. The king apparently wasn’t thinking about this when he signed the statute. Daniel, of course, knew about the new law, but he maintained his allegiance to his spirituality in spite of the threat of dire consequences. Doing the right thing doesn’t always mean a road without challenges.
At the prodding of Daniel’s jealous peers, the king had no alternative than to order Daniel to be punished according to the new law. But the king also told Daniel, “Thy God whom thou servest continually, he will deliver thee.”
And sure enough, Daniel’s innocence and fearlessness protected him from the lions, and he was unharmed the next morning when the king anxiously arrived at the lion’s den in hopes that Daniel was safe.
I read an explanation given by an animal behavior expert who said a lion’s attack is prompted either by fear or flight on the part of the prey. Daniel seemed unmoved and fearless by the forces arrayed against him both in and out of the lions’ den. His resolve and confidence were clearly based on his understanding of God’s love and divine will as well as an understanding of his spiritual identity. This understanding was the “truth” that made him free from harm as when Jesus declared, “Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).
The truth is, we are God’s spiritual and good creation. And we are never for a moment outside or separated from the love and care of our divine Parent. Instead of becoming a victim to circumstances beyond his control, Daniel became a witness to God’s power and proved God’s control even when he was in the midst of the lions.
Daniel had truthful arguments for his strong defense. The truth of his spiritual selfhood and sincere and honest actions affirmed and preserved his innocence. Jesus said, “Ye shall know the truth,” which confirms that knowing the truth of God and our spiritual identity is a requirement and a promise. And he said, “Truth shall make you free,” which asserts that freedom is God’s will for us all.
Yes, you shall be a survivor. Whatever you face along your life journey, you can understand the truth of God’s power and control over all and feel safe, be safe and — as Daniel did — come through the experience as the victor. The Psalmist assures us, ” … weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).
Oct 26, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
My husband and I finally did it. We finally went somewhere other than Disney World or the beach. All through our daughter’s growing-up years, other than the occasional venturing elsewhere, we’ve spent family vacations going to the places our daughter and we loved most.
Routines are easy to fall into. We can be trapped by them. Many people have a tendency to do the same things every day, day in and day out. We get up, go to work, come home, fix dinner, eat, do chores, watch television, and so forth. By the end of the day, we’re so tired that we go to bed, only to begin our routine again the next day. Yet we feel comfortable traveling within our own little comfort zone, surrounding ourselves with what is familiar.
I hadn’t realized that our vacations had become routine — like the rest of our life. That is, until now. I’m writing this column while my husband is out fly-fishing with a friend who recently moved to Oregon. Fly-fishing is something he has never experienced before. Earlier today, I went on an hour-and-a-half hike by myself, something I’ve never done — until this trip.
In fact, our entire vacation has been filled with experiences and activities we’ve never done before or imagined doing. We’ve crossed mountains, traversed canyons and hiked trails. We’ve seen the deepest lake, crossed the highest bridge, visited the largest sea cave, seen the most photographed lighthouse, the tallest waterfall, the oldest and biggest trees, and we’ve traveled the windiest roads, rockiest coastline and the highest and most narrow road of our lives to date.
Phrases like “branch out” and “stretch yourself” suddenly have fresh meaning. Lyrics written by Tim Rice to Elton John’s famous song “Circle of Life” also have new meaning for me: “There’s more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than can ever be done, more to find than can ever be found.” Doing things I never thought I could or would has me hungry to experience more.
There’s a valuable lesson to be learned when hiking the longest trail you’ve ever hiked. I finally understand that it truly isn’t as much about the destination as it is the journey. Although the destination may be worthy and of value, the journey is even more incredible and fulfilling in and of itself. Each moment walking the trail included inspiring vistas and discoveries I would not have wanted to miss, even if I had never reached the trail’s end.
Comfort zones are self-created and imposed. In designing these comfortable and reliable pathways, we tend to limit our possibility and potential for new experiences.
Stretching is powerful, healing and transforming. The Lord told Moses to “stretch out thy hand over the sea” and the waters parted (Exodus 14:16). Jesus told the man with the withered hand to “stretch forth thine hand,” and his hand was restored whole as his other (Matthew 12:13). This vacation has stretched my view of myself from a woman of limited abilities to a woman of God’s creating with infinite abilities and potential.
Being willing to challenge myself to move out of my familiar beliefs and to fearlessly approach new opportunities has resulted in a broadened concept for the rest of my life. My horizon has indeed been expanded, the place of my tent enlarged (Isaiah 54:2). I welcome more new possibilities, discoveries and adventures into my life journey. Yes, I have put on a fresh lens for viewing what I can and could do that is untouched, undimmed and unimpressed by any beliefs and opinions about age.
Are you trying to find a way out of a mundane routine? Do you feel stuck in a rut and can’t figure out what is holding you back?
Branch out and stretch yourself by doing something — anything — you wouldn’t ordinarily do. I guarantee you will be glad you did and will not be disappointed. It’s just that simple! Every time you stretch, you enlarge your comfort zone to include more of the great big world out there waiting to be explored, and you let go of old, limiting beliefs that have been holding you back from seeing your infinite potential.
Oct 26, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
A friend reminded me of a frequently cited Chinese proverb: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” But why is it, so often, that the very first step is the hardest one to take?
Whatever the reason for a first step, it symbolizes the beginning of something new, making a change, choosing to pursue a goal or a dream, making a commitment. After years of pondering and consideration, my first step has finally been taken. I’ve finally started up a path that promises more order, balance and activity in my life, along with less body weight. Note that I didn’t merely say “diet.”
Yes, I would like to weigh less. But my weight is only one of the outcomes of my goals, rather than a goal in and of itself.
It’s interesting to pause and wonder why it took me so long to begin this revised life journey — to take that very first step. Some people never even begin their journeys, because often the first step just seems too difficult. And so, they stop before they start.
Perhaps we put too much importance on a first step. And in so doing, the journey ahead feels laborious and burdensome with a destination impossible to reach. Maybe we think too much about that first step, and we consciously or unconsciously argue against taking it. I recall a speaker who referred to the “paralysis of analysis” as the pathway to a dead-end of inertia and inaction. This is what can happen when we spend hours, days or weeks in “what if” thinking — what if I’m making a wrong decision, what if I don’t like my choice, what if this is too difficult for me, what if I fail to reach my goal?
A famous children’s story gave me some encouragement. Remember the story about “The little engine that could”? It’s the story of a long train that must be pulled over a high mountain. Various large engines are asked to do the job, and all refuse for various reasons. Apparently, many feel the long train is too much for them to pull. Finally, a small engine is asked and agrees to try. By chugging onward and forward with its motto, “I-think-I-can,” the little engine succeeds in pulling the long train over the mountain.
“‘Can’t’ never could do nothin'” — my mamma’s words echo from my childhood. The large engines’ reluctance proved this statement to be true quite proficiently. It was not going to be an easy journey for the little engine, but she was willing to make it and refused to be daunted. Even when she struggled and was barely able to move, she continued her journey, however slowly, insisting on the possibility for success. Great human strength and willpower were not going to help this little engine get over the mountain. So, what did help her achieve what the large engines were certain they couldn’t?
I think she was well on her way when she made the commitment to do the job. The stronger our commitment, the more likely it is that we can achieve our goal. Commitment inspires expectation, and expectation will always speed our progress.
I also think this little engine kept her focus on the destination rather than on the treacherous path she had to travel to get there. So, we must look beyond any single step to be undertaken, not putting too much emphasis on any one step but remaining focused on our desired goal.
Don’t be too hard on yourself for being slow to take a first step. Look at a child learning to walk. That first step might have been a little shaky or even uncertain, and it may have been slow in the making, but have you ever seen a child after she takes that first step? There’s no stopping her!
Certainly, the child’s first step was a small one. But after she took that first step, she was more confident about taking another one — albeit another small step. She didn’t run before she walked. So, too, we must be patient with ourselves and not think we can travel the last mile of our journey before the first and all the ones in between. Yet once the little child takes those first few steps, she never looks down again but only in the direction toward which she is going.
Like the little engine that thought it could, I know I can reach my goals. Why am I so sure? Because God impels us forward, toward knowing Him better as well as ourselves as His beloved children, fully equipped with all we need for our life journeys.
And what to say about the journey? Well, it’s a lifelong journey. There can only be forward steps, never retrograde ones. Even those that at first seem backward, turn out not to be, as every step of our lifelong journey brings with it many lessons learned. And lessons learned keep us progressing along our path.
Paul’s words encouraging us to reach “forth unto those things which are before” and “press toward the mark” make me think about how to go for our goals and dreams (Philippians 3:13-14). We must keep our gaze upward and onward and travel our journey with faith and belief that anything is possible. And there’s never any time like the present for a step forward.
Oct 26, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
Recently I found myself dealing with one family crisis after another. I wanted to be the perfect mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt. But instead, I was feeling overextended, burdened, overwhelmed, and maxed out.
My parents and father-in-law had various care needs, while another family member had lost her job and her marriage, and had been involved in a serious car accident. Yet another family member with a new baby needed care and financial assistance. To top it all off, my husband and I were struggling to maintain our cattle ranch in the worst drought conditions we’d had in north Texas in 50 years. The demands seemed endless.
Around that time, a headline in a local newspaper grabbed my attention: “Overburdened family caregivers.” That was me, all right. As I read over the piece, it only reinforced all the strain I was feeling. It asserted that caregivers for family members will have times when they feel alone and stressed out.
When I began to experience regular headaches and chest pains in between phone calls from loved ones, I realized the situation was calling for some serious prayer. I didn’t want to buy into the idea that my desire to help loved ones must bring suffering as a normal result.
The rock of Truth is much higher than my limited sense of things.
One day, at the peak of my frustration, I read this passage from Psalms: “When my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Through my study of Christian Science, I’ve learned there is a rock much higher than my own limited sense of things. Many times I’ve prayed to understand more about this rock of Truth when I’ve been struggling with various challenges.
And healing has always involved lifting my thought above and beyond my human sense of things to see the spiritual and eternal facts relating to the situation. I knew I needed to do the same thing in caring for my various family members now.
When we limit our perceptions to only the human sense of things, we cut ourselves off from God’s infinite view, which lights the path to healing and reveals the best solutions. Mary Baker Eddy wrote in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures: “Beholding the infinite tasks of truth, we pause,—wait on God. Then we push onward, until boundless thought walks enraptured, and conception unconfined is winged to reach the divine glory.”
I was definitely seeing endless human tasks associated with the collective needs of family members. But I was forgetting the key to accomplishing God’s “infinite tasks”—pausing and waiting on Him, and seeing that the accomplishment of anything good always comes from a source greater than human effort or willpower. So I decided to refocus my efforts and see that I could feel unconfined and free to carry out God’s plan.
I was actually being called upon to witness the power of God.
I worked to dismiss a burdened sense of my family and my role as defined by mundane duties, obligations, and responsibilities. Sometimes even in our good desires and deeds we martyr ourselves and accept suffering as natural. But as Mrs. Eddy pointed out, the word martyr actually comes from the Greek and means “witness.” I saw that rather than take on burdens and focus on a litany of problems, I was actually being called upon to witness the power of God, of good, in the lives of my loved ones.
As I gained a more spiritual view of my family, remembering that each one was a child of our Father-Mother God, who loves each of us dearly, the situation changed. The result was healing and progress for each and every one of us.
One family member found a new job, another expressed more independence, and yet another repaid all the money he’d borrowed from us. I was even able to accept a new job opportunity, which helped ease our stretched finances. The headaches and chest pains ceased, and they haven’t returned. And I feel a deeper peace.
No, the demands on me haven’t gone away entirely. But I trust that progress is God’s law for each of us, His beloved children. Most important, I’m more certain that the one divine caregiver is God who is able to meet the needs of His children and guide us to the best solutions and answers. We can count on it.
