Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
The women in my family have a tradition of watching “Gone with the Wind” each year. Perhaps it’s our Georgia roots that impel us to do so. The coming of the “new year” reminds me of a favorite line when Prissy exclaims: “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies!”
Well, our new year has been born without any help from you and me. Thank goodness! Life keeps moving us onward and forward. The real question is: Now that our new year has arrived, what are we going to do with it?
Last year’s troubles are behind us, with disappointments and failures a fading memory — hopefully. But maybe we feel we didn’t do a good job with our last year, and we worry whether we can do better this year.
Many times in my life I’ve wasted days, and even months, grieved by past mistakes, overcome with regrets and buried in self-condemnation. At such times, even though I welcomed the idea of a “new year” with new beginnings, I seemed paralyzed and unable to walk into this land of promise and possibility.
Looking to Bible friends and their life experiences for insight and wisdom has often provided me with the boost needed. When I think of how to make a fresh start, the first person who comes to mind is the apostle Paul.
His sudden and total transformation from persecutor to preacher and healer has always amazed and encouraged me. He left his past of hatred and prejudice behind him and progressed effortlessly, so it seemed to me, into a life of selfless ministry unto others.
How was he able to put his horrible past quickly behind him and rebuild his life?
His own words offer some clues. Such as: “Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward. … I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. So let’s keep focused on that goal. … ” (The Message Bible, Philippians 3:13-15)
His words speak to the “now” of our thoughts and actions and the need to leave the past behind where it belongs — in the past. His words also don’t expect us to have all the answers for the future. We simply make strides, however slowly, however long it may take.
Perhaps you’re feeling you messed up so badly in the last year that you’re not worthy of a fresh start? Paul didn’t begin by ruminating over his many mistakes and wrongdoings. His new beginning commenced with a fresh view of his spiritual self. That’s a good starting point for each of us — our spiritual identity of innocence and goodness.
More biblical perusing brings the assurance that it is God that renews us. We don’t have to muster up all we need for making a change. God is present with each of His children every moment — guiding us and giving us the strength and courage needed for our endeavors. As we proceed, keeping focused on our goal, as Paul says, we will feel the divine energy enabling us to overcome challenges and making us ready to face a new year.
We need only anticipate better times and acknowledge the presence of divine Love lighting and leading our pathway. We have a new year before us. Let us forge ahead. With forward motion, one step at a time is enough!
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Ants, fire ants in particular, are no friend to farmers and ranchers. My husband would most certainly concur! Each year he faces what feels like a losing battle trying to smooth our pastures due to the ever-increasing number of ant mounds. So somehow it feels a bit like an oxymoron to suggest that ants, one of the smallest and most annoying of God’s creatures, know very well the key to being successful. Perhaps this, too, is why they seem impossible to get rid of!
Consider this lesson about the ant that we read of in the Bible: “You lazy fool, look at an ant. Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two. Nobody has to tell it what to do. All summer it stores up food; at harvest it stockpiles provisions. So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing?” (Proverbs 6:6-9, The Message Bible)
Maybe you desire to be more productive in your work. Or perhaps you’re a new graduate poised to begin your career? Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, bored or afraid to take the necessary steps?
Many times in my life I’ve struggled with a lack of motivation to complete a project. Sometimes I’ve lacked the motivation to begin a long-needed project! Then there are other times when I have felt so overwhelmed and stretched by the demands upon me, that I reached what felt like my limit of endurance and my breaking point. Believe it or not, pondering the life and works of “the ant” has given me fresh inspiration time and again and has helped me overcome difficult times in my life.
Ants seem to know their purpose in life very well and appear to keep it in the forefront of their thought as they keep moving. They don’t allow anything to interfere with their progress. Obstacles in their path do not stop them. They refuse to give up. Clearly, they are examples of courage, expectancy and determination.
Once a task is complete, they go immediately to the next job at hand. Ants appear to approach each undertaking with zest, energy, enthusiasm. Persistence may be their greatest characteristic. I suspect ants would never consider defeat. They face unexpected tasks with confidence and resolve. I have no doubt they will not stop until their goal is reached.
Ants don’t work or live alone. They understand the concept of teamwork. They seem to believe that their own success requires others around them to be successful, too. Therefore, any ant is ever ready to help a fellow ant to progress. They are always ready to lend aid and offer support as needed.
They seem to be able to carry objects that weigh enough to crush them, and yet they appear to carry their heavy loads effortlessly. Perhaps the old adage about the joy in your steps making everything lighter is something the ant puts into practice.
Mary Baker Eddy was not speaking about ants, but her words in an article titled “Fidelity” seem quite fitting: “The conscientious are successful. They follow faithfully; through evil or through good report, they work on to the achievement of good; by patience, they inherit the promise. Be active, and however slow, thy success is sure: toil is triumph; and — thou hast been faithful over a few things.”
This reminds me of the parable Christ Jesus told about three servants and the talents given them. Two servants did well and increased their talents, but one allowed his fears to persuade him to hide his talent. It was only the two servants who were conscientious with what was given them that earned the tribute: “Well done, good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things. … ” (Matthew 24:23)
I’ve concluded that it’s emulating the many qualities that an ant exemplifies — such as diligence, patience, perseverance and persistence — that helps me climb over those pesky hills called boredom, fear or frustration, and prove that conscientious effort results in success. Perhaps you, too, can find inspiration and encouragement for your endeavors from the life of the ant!
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
How could he say that? Why is she being that way? What were they thinking? When is he going to change? Who does she think she is? Whether these or similar sentiments were voiced about a coworker, political leader, family member or neighbor, I suspect all of us have been guilty of being intolerant of the actions, behavior or viewpoints of others.
Intolerance can take many forms. But it begins as a disapproving attitude. It grows into an inability or unwillingness to recognize and respect differences in opinions and beliefs. On a more extreme level, intolerance can lead to violence and in its most severe form — genocide.
As my husband says, “Intolerance (lack of love) causes all the ills of mankind.” And he says that often those who are intolerant seem totally blind to their intolerance.
Moving into the political season with the race toward the White House in 2008, I find myself dreading the possibility that political campaigns and family dinner conversations will be monopolized by intolerance.
My problem is that I’m intolerant of people who are intolerant.
It would seem that there is no peaceful and harmonious solution for combating the intolerance we see in others and find in ourselves. In taking my own dilemma to God in prayer recently, eight words spoken by Christ Jesus have inspired my thought: “… what is that to thee? Follow thou me.” (John 21:22) I’ve been pondering how this question and command can aid me in confronting intolerance in a couple of my own life battles.
A friend who professed to be a Christian hurt my feelings, treating me rudely and with contempt regarding a difference of opinion. I left the encounter in tears. But the memory of it kept me disturbed and sad for months. Those words of Christ Jesus came to mind as an answer to my prayer. It has become very clear that I can’t follow Christ Jesus’ teachings and example and harbor ill feelings toward anyone. So, with my spirit refreshed, I’m moving forward, free from sadness, regret and condemnation.
Some family members consider themselves associated with one political party and are quite intolerant of anyone associated with the other party. It is impossible for them to show respect toward the president, whoever he or she may be, if the president is not of their party persuasion. As I’ve written before, my daughter calls me an “extreme non-partisan,” and she’s right. Consequently, my intolerance is extreme toward people who express political intolerance. Even when I manage to “hold my tongue,” my emotions take hours to calm down. Then, it’s tempting to want to avoid being around these dear loved ones, or anyone else for that matter, if I think politics is on their minds. But again, these words of Christ Jesus are helping me stay focused on our higher calling and spiritual duty that is not dependent on or impacted by the behavior of others. I may have to silently recite those words of the Master during future family dinners to remind myself to follow the teachings of Christ, even when faced with disturbing or hostile viewpoints.
I decided that in order to help fight my own internal struggle against intolerance, I needed a refresher course on what it means to follow Christ. And it came to me that perhaps his greatest of all sermons is where I need to look — often called the “Sermon on the Mount.” Who could have known centuries upon centuries ago, that on a gentle slope of land rising above the Sea of Galilee, an incredibly calm, deeply inspired man would walk to the edge of the hill and set forth the code of conduct, which if followed, would assure peace and happiness for humanity for all time?
The Sermon begins with what are now often referred to as the “Beatitudes.” Jesus continues with explanations of law and religious practices, pointing out the spirit of each law and practice, which goes well beyond the letter. And he concludes with three final portrayals, offering the wisest of counsel on human behavior. (Matthew, Chapters 5 – 7)
Oh, what wisdom is to be found in the Sermon on the Mount! But be prepared, my friend, to examine your own heart and be transformed. Find the peace and joy within that nothing can take away. Learn to hold no grudges and harbor no anger. Discover what it means to walk the extra mile and walk it in love. Perceive a universal, all-pervasive love. Humble yourself to be teachable, and you will be taught how to see and conquer intolerance in your own heart — the first step toward conquering intolerance in the world around you.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
There are four “Cs” that thwart progress, strangle happiness, rob us of inner peace and keep satisfaction at an unreachable distance, and these are infamously known as criticizing, condemning, complaining and comparing. Each could be expounded upon and perhaps will be in future columns. But this week I am pondering the pitfalls of comparing.
How often I have looked at other people and compared myself to them! In my early childhood, many times I wanted to ask someone to come over to play at my house, and I didn’t. “Why would they want to come to my house? Their house was so much bigger and prettier,” I lamented. I’ve often wondered how many friendships I missed out on because of my own feelings of inferiority.
In high school, comparisons were inevitable and not always by choice. Social cliques were obviously distinguished by those who were on the cheerleading or drill teams and those who were not, the pretty girls and the plain girls, the skinny girls and the fat girls, the smart girls and the, shall we say, academically challenged girls, as well as the designer-dressed girls and the bargain-basement-fitted girls. And you were very clear how you stacked up and to which group you belonged.
After many school years of comparing as an acceptable mode of behavior, perhaps it’s no surprise that, as adults, we continue to compare ourselves with our neighbors, friends and colleagues. The problem with comparing is it often leads to envy, jealousy, unnecessary competitiveness and an undermining of our own self-worth.
In fact, comparing oneself with others is the basis for the old adage “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence,” meaning we believe others are always in a better situation than we are, although they may not be.
Measuring ourselves against others sours our life, creating anxiety, stress, isolation and depression. It is a fruitless exercise and an incredible waste of energy. The truth is, there’s no one like us, and this makes us incomparable.
We’re each one of a kind with different traits, talents, skills and abilities. Each of us has God-given special gifts. We have our own life purpose to fulfill. The bottom line is no one can do a better job of being you than you.
As a middle-aged woman, I’ve grown weary of fretting about her funnier jokes or her smaller bottom or her newer car or her bigger paycheck or her flatter stomach and so on and so on. I’ve finally tired of feeling inadequate and not good enough.
On our cattle ranch, I’ve seen fields rich with green grass with always that cow who would rather risk getting her head stuck in between barbed-wire to eat grass on the other side of the fence than to eat what’s right at her feet. And the grass truly wasn’t any greener or better. In fact, the grass on the other side of the fence had not received the fertilizer the grass in the hayfields had received and truly wasn’t as good and nutritious. I’ve decided that perhaps I’ve spent too many years like that silly cow, not recognizing the good at hand in my own self.
In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul gives an insightful and helpful analogy on the futility of comparing. He describes one body having many different parts, illustrating the import and uniqueness of each part. Each of these parts has a viable and needed role — not one is better or less important than another. While all are diversely different from the others, all are united into one body. (1 Corinthians 12:12-26)
Pondering this beautiful analogy has helped me recognize my uniqueness and special gifts and, consequently, also value and appreciate who I am — what makes me a “second to none” me. I suspect we all can do a much better job being ourselves than attempting to be someone else. I’m beginning to ask myself, “Why not just be the best possible me instead of a poor imitation of her.”
So, these days I’m working on being the best “me” I can be. I’m no longer comparing myself to others. If I’m not happy and satisfied, it’s because I want to be a better “me.” I think now my problem is that I tend to sometimes compare my middle-aged self with my younger self, and then I like the younger self better. Well, at least I like the smaller bottom and flatter stomach better! But that’s another story…
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
The world seems trapped in perpetual “us and them” warfare. No surprise, I guess, since “tribalism” is one of the oldest human cultures on earth. This point of view has long divided societies into subgroups called tribes who believe they share a sense of identity and kinship. We’ve grown quite accustomed to restricting ourselves into groups and categories.
I was taught to pick sides for relay teams in kindergarten. My life has always been about picking sides and recognizing differences — from the group of friends to have, to the color of our skin; from the religious denomination to join, to the size of our house; from the preference of sports team, to the type of car we drive; from the political party to endorse, and so on. It often seems impossible to see anything but our differences.
But what if the tribal perspective is not the best and most beneficial outlook — or even accurate from a spiritual standpoint? It seems to me that Christ Jesus’ teachings lead us to conclude another vantage point should govern our lives — one that makes any view that would separate and divide not a good or appropriate or right choice. He points out the two greatest commandments. The first is: “Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord; And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength.” Then Jesus tells us the second is like unto the first: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Mark 12:29-31).
Certainly, recognizing that there is only one God unifies us in the understanding that we all have the same divine Parent. Our viewpoint changes to “we” instead of “us and them.” And loving our neighbor becomes more about what binds us rather than what separates us. Are we not interconnected as a universal community of God’s beloved children? How does this premise change our attitudes, opinions, decisions, choices and behavior toward each other, about each other, for each other?
I’m reminded of a story I heard long ago of a Midwestern farmer who year after year won a blue ribbon for his corn in the state fair. One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and discovered the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors. This surprised the reporter, since the farmer’s neighbors were also entering their corn in the same competition. The farmer explained how wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and carries it from field to field. He said, “If my neighbors grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn.”
I loved this lesson of the connectedness of life. It points to solutions for every community and world problem. Those who choose to be at peace must help their neighbors to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well. Those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness. The welfare of each one is bound up with the welfare of all. So, “if we are to grow good corn, we must help our neighbors grow good corn.”
Sept. 11, 2001 taught me I could no longer live in isolation from the rest of the world. I am connected to my brethren around the globe. I can’t ignore opinions and philosophies that differ from mine. And I can’t ignore the suffering, confusion and misunderstandings of my neighbors either. Shortly after 9/11, I wrote and submitted my first guest column to a newspaper. My hope has been that by sharing ideas and experiences that have helped me, I may be of help to others. And I’m listening to, reading and desiring to understand viewpoints of others, too.
A couple of weeks ago a news commentary about the work Heifer International is doing in Tanzanian communities in the battle against hunger and poverty caught my attention. This organization expounds upon a simple idea of giving families a source of food, such as a heifer, rather than short-term relief of food provisions. But even more compelling is the project’s “Passing on the Gift” aspect, in which participants in the program agree to experience the joy of helping others by giving a neighbor the offspring of their animal as well as training support. In Tanzania, Christian and Muslim neighbors are forming bonds and joining together to better their own lives.
In reading a bit about the history of this grassroots-focused organization, I discovered it was founded by a Midwestern farmer, Dan West, who after giving milk to hungry children during the Spanish Civil War, concluded, “These children don’t need a cup; they need a cow.” This conclusion led to his founding of Heifer International in 1944 based upon that philosophy, and since that time helping 7 million families in 128 countries gain self-reliance and hope. Today, Heifer has over 600 projects in 51 countries, including the United States.
Perhaps Dan West knew that Midwestern corn farmer. Maybe they were neighbors. They both understood that what blesses one, blesses all.
I’m going to endeavor to live my life based upon those two great commandments emphasized by the Master, knowing that in God’s eyes there is no “us and them,” for we be brethren. My hope is that the leaders in this and other countries can learn to make judgments and decisions on the same basis. Then, it would never be a question of whether we should help a neighbor, but only how.
