Nov 17, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Perhaps you’re among the three million people who watched the YouTube video of the piano stairs. Volkswagen has initiated the fun theory which asserts that fun is the easiest way to change people’s behavior for the better. And there’s a contest currently underway exploring such questions as “Can fun make more people exercise?” or “Is entertainment the solution to litter?” (www.thefuntheory.com)
I wasn’t surprised that turning stairs into a life-size piano resulted in more people taking the stairs rather than the escalator. I would definitely choose the musical option as the fun way to go.
What’ your idea of fun?
This is the question I recently asked several friends and family members. Everyone defined fun a bit differently. However, the idea of fun people most often noted is time spent with family, friends or a spouse.
There were two overwhelming commonalities for having fun — being outdoors and being outdoors doing some physical activity. So maybe fun is already making people exercise more. Folks noted “fun” as taking a walk, watching a sunset, water skiing, horseback riding, watching or playing baseball or ice hockey, attending a football game, swimming, gardening, going for a long run, sitting on the creek bank fishing, climbing a mountain, having a picnic when it’s sweater weather, and sitting out on the patio late at night with the tiki torches lit and a fire in the chiminea. The latter sounds like my kind of fun!
There were other fun ideas that didn’t necessarily require being outdoors, but they did require getting out of the house. This kind of fun was described as going out to dinner, shopping for shoes, attending live music concerts, visiting cool architectural spaces, exploring art exhibits and going country western dancing. I think my first vote of a fun pastime would be shopping for shoes, with going out to dinner a close second!
But apparently many people also have fun inside the comfort of their homes and sometimes even when they are alone. Folks mentioned such merriments as cooking, taking a Sunday afternoon nap, reading a good book, dancing when no one else is watching, playing with kittens and puppies, surfing the web, exploring spiritual truths to their depth as well as cooking and doing artwork with grandchildren. These all sound good to me, but I don’t have grandchildren yet. I certainly always loved cooking and doing artwork with my daughter throughout her growing up years.
One friend mentioned the excitement she feels every time she sees the beach. The exhilaration and jubilation is mutual, my friend!
Another mentioned traveling and cruising with friends as her idea of enjoyment. Sounds fun to me!
I was captured by the idea one friend shared: “Doing new things but not quite the “jump off the cliff in my wing suit” level.” Did you see that YouTube video? I’m quite sure I’m not ready to take flight in a wing suit, but I do love the idea of doing new things and traveling to new places as a preferred choice of recreation and amusement. Or as another friend said it, “Doing something unusual that’s not part of my daily routine — letting go of inhibitions.”
A couple of friends shared some ideas of fun which may best describe my current longing. One said, “Laughing so hard that tears roll down my cheeks.” And yet another friend summed up fun as “Anything that gets me to stop thinking and just ‘be’ — shopping, singing, dancing, laughing, or any combination of those.”
Sometimes I think too much about everything that’s going on in my life or a family member’s life or what’s on the news. And I want to stop thinking and just have fun the way I do when I’m at Disneyworld!
But one very wise friend reminded me that there is always joy to be found in everything. And she’s right. Thanks for the reminder. A change in my point of view has often changed my outlook from drudgery to joy.
The idea of having fun may sometimes seem far away, unreachable or unattainable. But I think this could be due to a limited view of what having fun means or under what conditions that fun is supposed to happen. Perhaps we need to broaden and expand our definition. My friends and family members have certainly given me more possibilities of fun to consider. And hopefully, you’ll find their list helpful as well.
And finally in the words of yet another thoughtful friend — “May we all find a little fun whenever we need it.” Or maybe — we could make our own fun by imagining our favorite song playing while we dance up the stairs.
Nov 17, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
After watching the movie, Julie and Julia, I was inspired to clean my very dusty cookbook shelves and fix something I’d never cooked before.
It was amazing to discover how many awesome cookbooks I own — many that I have never opened. Some I purchased through the many years of my marriage, and others were gifts. I found the first cookbook I bought almost thirty years ago when I started dating my husband.
This reminds me of the first time I prepared dinner for him. I had never cooked before other than grilling a hamburger. My biggest mistake was not purchasing my cookbook before I cooked.
We were having baked chicken. This seemed easy enough to accomplish without instructions. My mom had never told me, however, that I needed to remove the neck and whatever else was on the inside of the bird. And no one had ever told me which side was up. I baked my chicken — breast side down.
Our side dish was mashed potatoes. This, too, seemed easy enough for a novice like me. My boyfriend graciously ate his dinner and asked a few questions after complimenting his food. He was very interested in how I made the potatoes. I told him I simply peeled, cut and boiled the potatoes and then mashed them with my new electric mixer. He suggested that maybe next time, I should try draining the water from the potatoes and adding milk and butter before mixing. After taking a bite of my first mashed potatoes and setting them aside as inedible, I agreed that something more was needed.
I bought a cookbook before I cooked again.
Some of my fondest memories have been of cooking. As with the rest of my life, I’ve had firsts, successes, flops and mistakes. But regardless, all of the dishes became an important part of a cherished memory. Diligence, patience and perseverance were found to be key ingredients for success in cooking as in most other areas of life.
When I first started cooking, everything was new. Cooking was a fun adventure as I learned to do something I’d never done before. But it didn’t take long before I was repeating my tried and trusty recipes again and again, and cooking something new became less and less frequent.
Cooking is not the only area of my life that has become stagnant, boring or not working as efficiently and creatively as it once did. And I suspect I am not alone.
Many people are being faced with rewriting their lives. Some are in search of a new career at a time when they should be looking forward to their retirement benefits. Some are waiting for their stock values to go from stagnant to gain. We all have times in our lives when our daily routines or relationships need a good overhaul.
Maybe we already have everything we need at our disposal and we only need a new perspective or a fresh idea on how to use what we have.
Julia Child said, “I was 32 when I started cooking. Up until then, I just ate.”
I think that describes me. Up until now, I’ve just been eating — and eating the same things day after day. But I’ve also just been living — sometimes only going through the motions, no longer curious, no longer excited, no longer with high anticipation. So now over 50, I’m ready to cook up something new and not just in my kitchen.
I already have over 50 old cookbooks sitting on my shelves filled with new recipes to be tried. And I’ve already redecorated my house by taking everything off my walls and re-hanging in new locations. Now I plan to revamp my daily exercise program, redefine what I do for fun as well as explore untried avenues for making money.
Often the answers we seek are not “out there” somewhere but rather within our reach. Do you need to cook up something new for your life? I think you’ll be surprised to learn you have what you need, my friends.
Julia Child once said, “This is my invariable advice to people: Learn how to cook — try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless, and above all have fun!” Sounds like good advice for outside of the kitchen, too.
Nov 17, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
The tradition of Halloween has both European and Celtic roots. It seems the ancient custom held that ghosts came back to the earthly world on a certain day. In an attempt to protect themselves from these ghosts, people wore masks when they left their homes after dark so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits. Additionally, to keep ghosts away from their houses, people placed bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from attempting to enter.
It’s said that the Halloween tradition came to the United States in 1840 with the arrival of a group of Irish immigrants. And trick-or-treating — as we know it — developed between 1920 and 1950 as a relatively inexpensive way for an entire community to share the Halloween celebration. Today, Americans spend an estimated $6.9 billion annually on Halloween, making it the country’s second biggest commercial holiday.
Of course, the spirit of Halloween and the meaning behind it has changed over the centuries, yet it is still a holiday that allows us to pretend to be someone else.
Costume parties and masquerade balls have no age barrier. Both the young and the old love to dress in disguise and behind masks. Even if only for a night, we enjoy becoming the image of our hero or the star of our worst nightmare or our favorite fantasy.
Our selection of costume doesn’t really matter. What is interesting is how our behavior changes to match the identity or character of our impersonation. For many of us, it seems easier to be someone other than our real selves. I admit that it has sometimes been more difficult to be my real self than to create a façade for a Halloween party.
What face do you put on every morning? Do your friends and co-workers know the real you? Or do they only see who you want them to see?
When I’m in a group setting, I’ve often found it difficult to be myself. My natural personality becomes hidden by what I may feel others will expect of me or by what I think they will accept. Sometimes I feel intimidated in a large group. And feelings of inadequacy, fear and shyness cause me to camouflage my true inclinations.
How can we dispose of our masks and let our real self be seen and known?
Perhaps before we can be who we are, we need to know who we are. I love the title of a book I once saw on bookstore shelves: “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”
We each have an authentic self that God created — and it’s one of a kind, individual and special. Don’t be afraid to let others see the “real” you. You don’t need to spend a lifetime trying to be more like your mom or your brother or a teacher. Your life journey is about knowing and being “you.” And you are someone who is worthy to know. Knowing yourself begins with a sincere desire to do so. And since God made you, you can be confident you’ll like what you learn. God does!
So don’t let anything deprive your world from knowing you — the real you. Be willing to learn about the child that God created. And be willing to explore and discover your talents and abilities. You and I have a unique purpose to be fulfilled.
Have fun this Halloween and choose your favorite mask to wear. But after Halloween, my friends, remove your mask. Don’t put on another face other than your own each day. Everyone around you will be happy to meet YOU!
Nov 17, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
It seems to me that most folks see what they want to see, hear what they want to hear and read into what they read according to their biases and prejudices.
“I am, in plainer words, a bundle of prejudices — made up of likings and dislikings…” wrote the 19th century essayist, Charles Lamb. We are part of a world, country — or even a neighborhood — with people from many different educational and social backgrounds, cultures, traditions, experiences and spiritual teachings. So of course what inspires me, what amuses me or what makes me cry will be different from what inspires, amuses and makes you cry.
For that matter, even in the same family, I suspect most would agree that we all have varying preferences and tastes in such things as movies, music, books and food. We all have individual opinions on political, social and spiritual matters and our own unique convictions on what is most important.
It’s fascinating to me how two people can read the same statement and interpret its meaning very differently. Or that two people can hear the same lecture and it speak to each in a different way. But should we be surprised when this happens? Or should we be angered that a neighbor or a brother has a completely different stance and viewpoint on an issue — an issue equally important to both of us?
About thirty years ago, I was very active in a political and social movement. I marched in rallies and participated in debates and various public presentations. Name-calling and emotions were high. I was certain that what I believed in and was verbally fighting for was right and good for my country. And I was appalled and angered by anyone who thought differently from me. I could not even begin to understand their sentiments, and frankly I didn’t want to. So I definitely never tried.
It seems my country is again at odds on some very important issues — issues that impact all of us and are undoubtedly equally important to those verbally fighting on both sides of the issues. But who is right and who is wrong?
Through the years, I’ve learned that on many topics, only history can determine what was right or wrong. In the meantime, it’s only our biased opinions making a premature judgment. Or in the words of David Brinkley (CNN 1995): “A biased opinion is one you don’t agree with.”
Yet in America, it is important that we let our voices be heard! We are supposed to be a government of the people, for the people and by the people. It seems what we need to remember is that we are never going to all agree on everything. And this fact is okay. The issue we feel very strongly about may fail — as mine did thirty years ago.
But I am realizing today, that it is not a good thing that I didn’t and still don’t understand those who believed differently than me on an issue that I felt so strongly about — and still do I might add. And I must admit that there have been many other times in my experience when I was confused, angered or disappointed by differing positions and feelings. And I will tell you that in most of these instances, I made no attempt to fully understand why others felt the way they did.
It occurs to me now that if we hope to be understood, we must first understand others.
Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw, made a poignant point when he said, “The single, biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
Some define communication as an attempt to create shared understanding, which includes a variety of skills such as processing, listening, observing, speaking, questioning, analyzing and evaluating. When any skill is lacking, it is difficult to conclude that communication has taken place.
Perhaps the skill we most often lack is proficiency in listening. I know I could be a better listener! And I’m convinced that an understanding of others is never reached without sincere listening — listening that truly seeks and endeavors to understand an opposing point of view. This type of listening will result in understanding that at the very least can respect and appreciate a difference of opinion.
Then even when we don’t all see eye to eye, we can have an honest debate on an important issue and maybe — just maybe — make wiser decisions.
Nov 17, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Perhaps sometimes temptation gets a bad wrap. Certainly it’s wise to keep our wits about us so not to fall prey to seduction and allurements that would lead us down troublesome paths. But are there times when we’re tempted to act and don’t when perhaps we should have?
I asked my daughter if she has ever had such a moment and she said just this past week she was tempted to speak up in a college class and didn’t. Then she said the professor proceeded to answer his question in exactly the way she would have if she had acted upon her temptation.
I recall a time when I was tempted to introduce myself to a new neighbor but didn’t do so for months. When I finally did, we became great friends and I wished I had acted upon my temptation earlier.
In the same like I remember when I got my first apartment. I found the one that fit perfectly into my budget, but something didn’t feel right, and I was tempted to not sign the contract and keep looking. But because I was in a hurry and was afraid I might not find another in my budget, I moved into this apartment and soon afterward could not wait to move out.
There have been jobs that I took even though I was tempted not to — and it turned out I shouldn’t have. And there have been invitations that I was tempted to turn down, but didn’t — and should have. However, I’m not consumed with regrets, my friends, because hopefully I’ve learned to make wiser choices along the way.
In fact, in all of these instances, better decisions probably would have been made if only instinct had been trusted. Whether we call it a hunch, a vibe or a feeling in our bones, we all have an innate spiritual intuition that would point us in the right direction if only heeded.
So what is it that keeps us from listening to our better instincts and following those good temptations that would help us make better decisions, help us figure out when or what to trust, help us to do things that are right for us and others, and help us live our lives to the fullest?
Some might say a lack of confidence, self-doubt, insecurity, shyness, desperation and so on. Everything on our list would undoubtedly be rooted in fear — fear of rejection, of being wrong, of being embarrassed, of being humiliated, of making a mistake, or of not being successful or good enough. But listening to our instincts stops fear from clouding our reason.
Many of us like to weigh the pros and cons of everything. But my husband often says, “Study long, study wrong.” And I admit I’ve often been good at talking myself out of things. Indeed, there are studies popping up that support the idea of trusting our instincts.
One study I came across, reportedly published in the Journal of Consumer Research, concluded that people who deliberate about decisions reach less accurate conclusions than people who trust their instincts. And another study that was conducted by the University College London also found that people are more likely to perform well, if they do not think too hard and instead trust their instincts.
I love the story in the Bible that illustrates to me how Elijah learned to listen to his spiritual intuition. Elijah was very distraught and unsure what he would do next. He was standing on a mountain hoping for God to give him guidance. The Bible speaks of a strong wind, earthquake and fire that came, but God wasn’t in any of those. Then there was a “still small voice.” (I Kings 19:11-12)
That still, small voice is indicative of our God-given spiritual intuition. Our fears may seem like a strong wind, earthquake or fire, and these fears tend to confuse our better judgment. But nothing can silence God’s voice to us. We will hear His guidance as we learn to trust our instincts — our inner voice that will direct us to what is good.
You and I are intuitive thinkers. God made us this way. I have no doubt that you’ll find your instincts are correct whether they are telling you yes or no — to do or not to do. So trust them! And be sure to act upon those good temptations that will assure your life is satisfying and fulfilling.
