Nov 17, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Do you have days you don’t look forward to? Or do you have days you dread with every fiber of your being? Today is one of those days for me. Actually, the entire week ahead consists of days I don’t want to face.
My husband left for a week-long fishing trip. In fact, in our twenty-eight-year-old marriage, this was his first commercial airline flight without me. Actually, we’ve spent relatively few days apart since the day we met.
Although I can handle my fear of being alone and of being separated from him fairly well, I still don’t like it. And I certainly don’t relish time apart from him.
Recently, I heard someone quote a favorite Bible passage in a way that has me thinking about my days ahead in a fresh light. It was the way he accented the very first word, with a big lift in his voice, which grabbed my attention.
He said, “This is the day the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms 118:24)
This is the day? Today — the day I’ve been dreading for weeks? How could that be? How could today — of all days — be a day to be happy about?
I concede that every day is ordered by the Lord. And if the Lord — who is good, who is Love — made each day, then every day must surely have something good about it. I reluctantly reasoned this must also include today, even though when this morning arrived, I thought it was going to be anything but a good one.
And yet when I think of each day as a day the Lord has created for His beloved children, I realize that this day and every day must have purpose, potential and promise.
I know it’s probably normal to be sad when I’m separated from the man I dearly love. But I really don’t want to spend my next few days doing nothing but counting down the days until he returns.
I came across a compelling quote that was attributed to Muhammad Ali: “Don’t count the days, make the days count.” And that is exactly what I would like to do this week. I want to make the most of every hour of each day. So I’ve set a variety of goals that I hope to accomplish. In fact, I’m getting excited about reaching each goal!
I love that Paul tells us, “Now is the day….” And I love the line in The Lord’s Prayer that says, “Give us this day our daily bread.” This day — today — the Lord is going to give us everything we need to survive. That’s comforting! And I can’t help but recall a favorite quote by Mary Baker Eddy that my step-dad recited to me every morning when he drove me to school: “To those leaning on the sustaining infinite, today is big with blessings.”
There seems to be great import placed upon valuing each day. When we look forward only to what some future date potentially has to offer, we are probably missing all the possibilities that today is bringing to us. We may even lose or miss out on a great opportunity.
The Children of Israel learned to trust that day by day manna would be supplied to them. And they were instructed to pick up only the manna they needed for each day. They didn’t need to worry about gathering and saving bread for tomorrow because tomorrow there would be new bread for them to eat.
Do you find it hard to trust that the Lord will give you whatever you need each day? Oh but you can!
No doubt every day will make its demands of us — some more than others. But we have God’s promise of daily bread. I believe we can lean on our Father-Mother God when we’re down and depressed, when we’re struggling and worried, or when we’re uncertain and anxious, and He will feed us with exactly what we need. I’ve experienced God’s good grace in the past, and my faith assures me that I can trust and count on it to help me this week.
So I’m not going to fret about a whole week apart from my hubby. I’m going to focus on one day at a time and watch God reveal His days to me one by one.
Have a fabulous day, my friends, and may you make each and every day the best it can be. God will help you!
Nov 17, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
There seems to be one in every crowd — the naysayer, the voice of doom, the predictor of bad tidings. Debbie Downer or Gloomy Gus is always the pessimist who sees the downside of everything — the glass that is always half empty. And she or he generally shares a depressed view of the world with everyone they meet.
Perhaps among the disciples of Jesus, the unbelieving Thomas would come under the same or at least a similar category. Skeptics seem to have little or no faith in what they haven’t seen or experienced. Their dark perspective would have us all believe the possible is impossible unless they are proven wrong. And even when proven wrong, they consider it a fluke, a stroke of good luck, a chance occurrence, an accident.
Of course, Thomas did eventually believe, and his faith was reassured. But his doubting brought a lesson from Jesus. Jesus said, “Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.” (John 20:29)
Perhaps a lack of faith or not enough faith is the culprit that leads to pessimism.
I’m no “Little Mary Sunshine,” but I just can’t subscribe to Debbie Downer’s view on life. I have firsthand experience in how a simple change in my outlook and attitude changes my experience for better or for worse. And who wouldn’t want to do whatever it takes to have a better, happier, more satisfying life?
One problem I see with Debbie and Gus is that they are too opinionated. In fact, they are so consumed by their own opinions that their minds are completely closed to divine direction, inspiration and intervention — even when they say they have faith in God.
Remember the parable of the drowning man. It has a variety of versions, but one story says a man’s house is being immersed by a flood. Before the road is covered, someone in a jeep drives by and offers the man a ride. But the man refuses, saying he has faith that God will save him. As the waters continue to rise, another comes by in a boat and offers the man a ride. But again, the man refuses, saying he has faith that God will save him. Finally, while the man is standing on his rooftop, a helicopter arrives and the pilot offers the man a ride to safety. And yet again, the man refuses, expressing his faith in God. In heaven, the man asks God why He didn’t save him. And the Lord explains, “I sent you a jeep, a boat and a helicopter.”
If this man had truly had faith in God, he would not have tried to interfere with, outline or limit how God’s purpose works out. He would have known that there are infinite resources and possibilities — that nothing is impossible or beyond reach. He would have accepted the jeep ride — without question, judgment or fear!
I’ve found having faith in God is easier when I begin with acknowledging that God is Love and good. I believe God’s plan for us is always good, and I’d rather trust in His wisdom than uncertain opinion or fearful odds.
Don’t let a Debbie Downer or Gloomy Gus diminish your hope or overshadow your confidence. Interrupt their pouting with some cheer, and perhaps you can give them some encouragement that brightens their spirits.
But what if you’ve been like the drowning man and refused the jeep and boat ride. Would you sit there, like I suspect Debbie or Gus would, on your rooftop with your head down on your knees — dismayed and depressed — condemning yourself for your mistakes, your lack of wisdom, your arrogance?
Since I’m quite certain that position will not save you, my friends, here’s a more certain plan of action. It’s not too late. Keep your chin up, your hope high, your view expectant. There will be a helicopter. Be ready to take it!
Nov 17, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
I’ve always been told you can’t go back. Things can never be exactly the way they were. This is because the nature of life is always moving forward — is always changing. Nothing stays the same.
But what if I understand that things today are different from things yesterday? What if I know going back would be a very different experience? And what if I realize that I am a different person today than I was twenty years ago? Why can’t I go back and begin again?
Today I visited the church I attended as a child. I’ve attended there occasionally through the years, but it’s been over thirty years since I was a member. Yet I have to say that every time I go back and walk those familiar pathways and enter familiar rooms, I feel like I’m home.
I find myself asking, “Why couldn’t I go back to this church?” And I can’t help but feel that I could. I know my experiences today would be very different from my youth, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t be equally meaningful.
A couple of days ago I was at a party and became reacquainted with an old friend. She was the mother of one of my daughter’s kindergarten classmates. We used to spend hours and hours together eating breakfast, talking, laughing and shopping. After her daughter was killed in a horrible accident a few short years later, we lost touch with each other. I’ve missed our friendship, and I’ve harbored much regret and guilt for not trying harder to stay friends. I’ve longed to tell her this and finally seized the opportunity at this party.
I can’t help but wonder what it will be like for us to rekindle our friendship. I know it will be different and perhaps not easy. But surely it would be better to renew our friendship than to just leave it to the past.
And do I really need a good reason to go back to school? I’ve often said my college days are some of my fondest memories. And I know that college would be a different experience today than it was thirty years ago.
The desire to go back doesn’t mean I expect or want things to be the same. But there is comfort in going back to what is familiar.
Again and again, I go back to the same restaurants, to the same hair and nail salon and even the same vacation spots. It feels very natural to go back to what I know best, to what has been consistent and good, to what has gained my confidence, to what has always brought me happiness. Going back to that which I trust can’t be a wrong thing.
Jesus often spoke of his ministry as seeking and saving that which was lost. (Luke 19:10) He told a parable about a man who had a hundred sheep. He questioned that if this man lost one of his sheep, wouldn’t he leave his ninety-nine sheep to go find the one that was missing? (Luke 15:4) Of course he would! Wouldn’t you?
So if the purpose to go back is to find and restore lost hope, peace, confidence, joy or to find and reestablish a dear friendship, surely this is a good and right thing to do.
If someone is telling you not to go back — that you can’t — go back, examine your motive. When the desire to return is to regain, recover and resurrect, you can’t be wrong.
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
“What is something you would learn if you had the chance,” the survey question asked. I was stumped. I eventually thought of one answer — snow ski — but I still can’t believe how tough a question this was for me. And now I’m asking myself, “Why did I have trouble coming up with an answer?” Besides, surely I could think of more than one answer to such a question!
Do we ever learn all there is to learn?
As babies, we begin our lives with a big new world before us. Throughout our childhood years — truly — the world is our classroom. Our curiosity inspires our sense of adventure and keeps us expanding our abilities and honing our skills. The search to discover our talents seems inexhaustible and exciting. Throughout our school years we read, think, wonder, consider, explore — learn.
I’ve been out of school for many years now. Has something changed during my adult years that made me stop thinking about learning?
I came across some statistics that are almost impossible to believe could be even remotely accurate. (JenkinsGroupInc.com)
• One-third of high school graduates in the U.S. never read another book for the rest of
their lives.
• Forty-two percent of college graduates in the U.S. never read another book after college.
• Eighty percent of U.S. families did not buy a book or read a book last year.
• Seventy percent of U.S. adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.
• Fifty-seven percent of new books are not read to completion.
And yet 120,000 new book titles are published each year in the U.S. (bookwire.com) I know my daughter buys at least a hundred of those new books every year! I can’t say that I do the same.
I’ve read that entrepreneur, Bill Gates, attributes his success to his desire to never stop learning. In fact, Gates once said, “Every now and then I like to pick up a copy of Time Magazine and read every article from beginning to end, not just the articles that interest me most. That way you can be certain to learn something you didn’t know previously.”
I can see how success in life is connected with our willingness to stay open-minded and teachable. This means that throughout our lives we continue to ask questions, imagine the possibilities, and stay open to change, improvement, growth, progress.
One can also see how ignorance leads to fear. People are often afraid of what they don’t understand and what they’re not familiar with — what they have no knowledge of. So some people are afraid to learn something new if they think it will lead to changes from what they know and take them out of their comfort zone.
When people stop learning or stop wanting to learn or trying to learn or start believing they have nothing to learn, they cease to make progress. And without progress, there is no life. At the very least, life becomes less interesting.
Perhaps learning is a habit. And like some other good habits such as eating a balanced meal, exercising or praying daily or studying the Bible, we get lazy or negligent. And our laziness and negligence becomes a bad habit that is difficult to break — but not impossible. Any bad habit can be broken with due diligence and perseverance and good habits can be created and maintained in the same way.
Gandhi’s words, “Learn as if you would live forever, live as if you would die tomorrow,” tell us there is always more to learn and we should learn as much as we can each day. It is never too late to learn something new. I’m beginning to learn that the old adage — “Practice makes perfect!” — is always true regardless of our age.
I suspect I’m not the only one who is learning there is much more to learn. I know I need to learn to love more, to have more trust, to be more patient. I need to learn how to relax more, listen better, and forgive. Yes, there is much more I need and want to learn.
“A wise man…will increase learning.” (Proverbs 1:5) I want to be a wise woman! So my new approach to each day is going to begin with the questions, “What can I learn today?” Or better still, “What does God want me to know today?” I may not know what I want or need to learn, but God has infinite possibilities for all of His children. We can trust that God will direct us to exactly what is best each day.
And maybe some winter, I will learn to snow ski! Why not?
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
I just returned from a few days on the Alabama coast where I learned bikinis come in all shapes and sizes. That’s right, ladies. Whatever your weight, height or age, there is a bikini made for you.
I sat in my sand chair wearing my one piece, I might add, as women in bikinis walked by. I was in awe at their utter lack of concern for how they looked in their bikinis. My fellow beach lovers were clearly happy and content. Not one appeared worried about what others were thinking as they blazed trails in the sand.
So why couldn’t I join in their beach brigade? I own several new bikinis that I longed to wear. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for my final unwanted fifteen pounds to drop before I feel worthy of being seen in a two-piece. As some of the bikini-clad women walked by, I kept telling my daughter, “I wouldn’t do that.”
But did it really matter so much what other women looked like in their bikinis? No! So why did I think anyone would care about what I looked like?
I was not bothered or surprised that bikinis come in so many different shapes and sizes. I was mostly impressed by the vast number of carefree, very tan women who dotted the shoreline — and wished I could walk among them.
It eventually occurred to me that I was embarrassed and ashamed of my extra pounds and lack of tone. Indeed, I suffered with a severe case of self-consciousness. Or in other words, I struggled with an acute sense of self-awareness, which was exacerbated by my many shortcomings.
My self-image was being negatively influenced by my inner critic. And my inner critic had an image of what I should look like but didn’t. My daughter says my biggest problem is lamenting over what I looked like twenty-five years ago. Regardless, it became clear that I was not happy with my appearance today.
We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look and what our weaknesses might be. And it’s this point of view that has more to do with how we feel wearing a bikini than the actual shape and size of our body.
So how can I soften my harsh viewpoint? Feel good about myself? Appreciate myself — right now? This doesn’t mean I no longer want to drop those fifteen pounds — because I do. But in the meantime, I do think I need to change my inner voice from critic to cheerleader.
To begin with, perhaps rather than being so preoccupied with my body and its flaws, I should give at least equal attention to my thoughts and attitude as well as my abilities and skills. Perhaps I should begin with pondering the “me” that God sees and loves. God most definitely sees what is good about each of His children — cherishing our talents, celebrating our accomplishments. We should do no less.
While we may all have things about ourselves we would like to improve or make better, we also do many things and have many traits deserving of recognition, appreciation and honor.
My mamma has always taught me to look for and see the good in everyone. But sometimes I forget to include my own self in that practice. Focusing on the good we see in ourselves — especially when we base our opinion on what God sees in us — gives us encouragement to continue on a progressive path. Our inner cheerleader will point us onward and forward to higher goals and improvements, assuring us that anything is possible, obtainable and reachable.
Criticizing or condemning ourselves and our features can trap us in a self-sabotaging pattern that is difficult to get out of. We may become impossible to please and never appreciate the progress we make. This can lead to an endless cycle of discouragement and dissatisfaction.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” wrote Margaret Wolfe Hungerford in 1878. No doubt the human opinion of what is beautiful is as varied and different as there are people. This statement was actually written in various forms that expressed much the same meaning dating back as early as the 3rd century BC in Greek.
But the Creator of us all will always behold the unique beauty of each of His children. Look at yourself and others and embrace the beauty that is God-given. As we expect to see the beauty the divine Beholder sees, we’ll discover how really beautiful we each are — regardless of the size of our bikinis.
