Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Again and again we read in the Bible that Jesus was “moved with compassion.” And his compassion was always followed by his healing the sick and feeding the hungry. He even taught about the need for compassion in many of the parables and stories he told to his followers.
In fact, compassion is considered by all of the major religious traditions as among the greatest of virtues.
More than empathy, compassion is defined as the feeling that gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another’s suffering. Mercy and tenderness are among its synonyms while cruelty and indifference are its opposite.
I can’t help but wonder what a little compassion could do for our troubled and weary world — in negotiations, interrogations, debates and discussions. As we see the suffering of others and our hearts ache for their pain, do we wish we could help in some way? Making a difference in someone’s life does not necessarily require lots of money or time.
I can certainly attest that the compassionate understanding and kindness shown to me when I have failed or made mistakes, encouraged my growth and eventual successes throughout my life. Our words can have a powerful impact on friend or foe.
It’s helpful to remember that we are all in the same boat sharing this human experience. We are never alone. And others have undoubtedly walked in our shoes before. We’re not the only ones who have made the very same mistake or used bad judgment.
Yet have you found it easy to show compassion toward a friend or family member — or even a stranger — who’s having a tough time but you get angry or frustrated with yourself when your own life falls short of your ideals?
Perhaps you need a big dose of self-compassion.
Things will not always go the way we want them to. We need to learn to give the same comfort and care to ourselves that we would give to others. Showing compassion and understanding when confronted with personal failings will help us put our mistakes into a larger life perspective — a more balanced, objective point of view — and encourage our progress.
But let’s be clear about what self-compassion is not.
Self-compassion is not self-pity! It serves no good purpose to get lost in our emotional drama or immerse ourselves into a problem.
Self-compassion is not self-indulgence! There is nothing beneficial about indulging in unhealthy rewards or habits.
And self-compassion is not self-condemnation! Judging and criticizing ourselves for inadequacies or shortcomings keeps our attention and focus on the negative or buried in the past.
With compassion for ourselves when we have missteps, we inspire and prompt wiser steps that move us forward and closer to reaching our potential. We are better equipped and able to keep a clear eye on our goals.
A baby learning to walk doesn’t think twice about attempting to walk again after she falls down. And that baby will likely fall many times before she masters walking. But she doesn’t stop with walking. After she learns to walk, she tries running, then skipping, and then jumping. Before walking, she scooted, crawled and probably even climbed.
The idea is that we keep moving, learning, progressing, mastering new skills, gaining new insights and knowledge along the way. Yes, we may fall sometimes. It may take us a while to learn and get where we want to go. But we never stop trying.
Compassion will keep us moving onward and forward. So give yourself a hug when you need one. And pat yourself on the back and say everything will be okay. Be like the baby who doesn’t think twice about her fall. Keep on keeping on.
So the next time you’re feeling down on yourself, try a little compassion.
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
My husband inadvertently taught me a lesson this weekend on how to set priorities and keep them.
It’s rare that two social events capture my husband’s interest in the same weekend. The first was the premiere of a movie he wanted to see and the second, a concert by one of his favorite musicians.
The problem with this scenario was that this weekend would also be a busy hay baling weekend. For anyone not familiar with what this means, he would have days so full of cutting, raking, baling and picking up hundreds of hay bales that he would have little time to think about adding more activities to his schedule.
During hay season he generally tells me he can make no promises on our social agenda. But this weekend was very different because our social agenda concerned him more than it did me!
Now don’t get me wrong. I was interested in doing these activities almost as much as he was. But I would not have been as disappointed if we didn’t do them. This brings me to the title of this column. It became clear as Friday came around, that come hell, hay or high water, we were going to the movies that day. And indeed we did, as well as the concert on Saturday evening. He finished baling on Saturday thirty minutes before we needed to leave. He cleans up fast when highly motivated! Who doesn’t?
I’ve decided that perhaps the best way to determine how to set our priorities in life could be to ask some questions. What matters most to us or what will we make time for — no matter what, in any event, in any case? What are we determined to do even if it is difficult? In other words, come hell, hay or high water, what ranks at the top of our preferences, what takes precedence, what has our highest regard, what is our greatest concern, what will sway us into immediate action, what is so paramount that we can’t live without it? I suspect you get the idea.
I can see how this type of questioning and reasoning can help us set priorities that are truly significant and important to us. And with priorities that have our utmost concern, we will be prompted, aroused and fired up into action. We will set goals that we are impelled to accomplish, yes, come hell, hay or high water. I suspect our time management skills would also greatly improve.
It’s interesting that it seems the source of the phrase “hell or high water” may have had its beginnings in the early 1900s during the cattle drives, when cowboys were herding their longhorns through high water of rivers and endured the hell of trail conditions between rivers. The original phrase was “in spite of hell and high water”.
Perhaps in spite of hell and high water speaks more about the determination required to accomplish a mission, reach a goal and maintain priorities. This brings to mind a long list of needed qualities such as persistence, perseverance, firmness, tenacity, resolve, fortitude, courage, boldness, stamina, steadiness, drive.
I can’t help but also think that a person striving to accomplish his goals and dreams or reach his destination, in spite of hell and high water, also has clarity of intention, purpose, reason, motive and rationale. Consequently, this person will be able to stay focused on his direction, mark and objective, and he will let nothing stop him from doing what he must — again, come hell, hay or high water!
No doubt these attributes were demonstrated by such Biblical characters as David when he conquered Goliath, Nehemiah when he rebuilt the wall of Jerusalem and Moses when he led the children of Israel for forty years in the wilderness.
And as I said, I’ve learned a lesson this weekend about setting my own priorities — and also what it means to maintain them. Our priorities are important. And they need to be preserved and at times defended, come hell, hay or high water!
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Today I learned about the penning of the hymn “America,” as many of us call it. The song was first performed in public on July 4, 1831.
I don’t remember ever knowing anything about its origin before now. And I’m asking myself why that is. It seems there are many things that I learn, know, am told, accept and even take for granted, that I never question or wonder about. Perhaps freedom is one of those precious commodities.
It was a twenty-four-year-old theological student by the name of Samuel Frances Smith who wrote the lyrics we know so well — although I suspect most of us only know the first stanza of the four he wrote. Samuel seemed to have a clear view of freedom as an ideal to be lived, cherished and celebrated. No doubt it was his love, respect and awe of freedom that inspired his words.
I loved learning that his inspiration for these lyrics resulted in his writing all four verses within half an hour — and he wrote them on a scrap of waste paper!
I think inspiration of the heart often works that way — it’s immediate, powerful and complete, exactly what is needed. I’ve long believed that the inspirations that come to us are straight from God — His angel messages. I know when I get an inspiration, I grab anything I can to write it down. I don’t want to miss or forget what may be my most important news of the day. So, I really relate to Samuel’s use of scrap paper. For me, it’s been a napkin, sales receipt or gum wrapper — anything with some white space on it.
It does seem remarkable that he wrote this beloved hymn in a manner of minutes. I’ve frequently believed if only I could spend some time in a beach house or mountain cabin, I could think more clearly about some situation — I could feel the inspiration I needed. Samuel Frances Smith illustrated that inspiration isn’t dependent on time, location or even having all the appropriate tools within our reach.
So maybe all we need to do to be inspired is to be free of our own limited sense of what’s needed. Perhaps it’s our misgivings and uncertainties that cause us to not see the solution that may be right in front of us.
It may be kind of like when a cloud appears to hide the sun. The sun is still there shining. I know I still get sunburned on cloudy days when I naively believe there is no sunshine. In fact, the sun is always shining — somewhere!
And God is always sending us the inspiration we need, my friends — the ideas, guidance, direction. Believing this fact — knowing it, expecting it, trusting it — may be all we need to do in order to feel God’s angel messages right now — right where we are — regardless of our circumstances and surroundings.
After reading all four verses written by Samuel F. Smith, I realized that this song is a tribute to God as the “author of liberty” as well as a prayer for His continued guidance. And the Author of liberty created us in His image and gave us dominion (Genesis, Chapter 1), making freedom not only our divine right but part of our spiritual nature and heritage. And this is the truth for all of God’s creation — each man and woman around the globe. So it’s a natural instinct for us all to desire and love freedom.
Perhaps you’ll be inspired and find hope and a new sense of freedom by reading (as I did for the first time) all four stanzas to “America.” May “freedom’s holy light” give inspiration to all your endeavors!
“My country,’ tis of thee,
sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing;
land where my fathers died,
land of the pilgrims’ pride,
from every mountainside let freedom ring!
My native country, thee,
land of the noble free, thy name I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
thy woods and templed hills;
my heart with rapture thrills, like that above.
Let music swell the breeze,
and ring from all the trees sweet freedom’s song;
let mortal tongues awake;
let all that breathe partake;
let rocks their silence break, the sound prolong.
Our fathers’ God, to thee,
author of liberty, to thee we sing;
long may our land be bright
with freedom’s holy light;
protect us by thy might, great God, our King.”
To hear “America” sang in its entirety, try this link: http://schooltube.com/video/11706/My-Country-Tis-of-thee—Music-video-from-AmericaTheBeautifulcom
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
“All I need is a room with a view,” I told my husband, as we explored locations for celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary. The past few months had been filled with one “unexpected” or “unwanted” situation after another. Mostly, I longed for a break from all the commotion and wanted time to focus only on my marriage.
As we drove the narrow, winding road up the wooded mountain, I had no doubt that I was headed to a secluded, romantic hideaway. Then, suddenly, we reached the top, and what would become my very own Tuscan villa for the next three nights came into view. The serene atmosphere that embraced me as I walked to the front door assured me I was right where I needed to be.
The balcony view from our room provided a panorama of sky, hills, trees and lake. And almost immediately, a broader perspective took shape in my mind, helping me to see beyond challenges and dilemmas waiting at home to be solved.
I was again reminded of the prayer advice Jesus gave when he said, “Enter into thy closet.” (Matthew 6:6) I’ve thought about this many times when I’ve felt the need to get away from whatever was troubling me in order to pray, meditate and be quiet. My closet has taken many forms through the years — lying on the beach, fishing in a mountaintop lake, walking around our farm, drinking mochas at Starbucks or even shutting my eyes for a few moments in the midst of a busy day. This time my closet was sitting on an Oklahoma hillside!
Jesus’ next piece of advice to us is to “shut the door behind you” before we begin to pray. The door shut on any worries and concerns the moment I walked onto our balcony. The wide landscape that filled my gaze broke the spell that was hypnotizing me into a state of uneasiness. I knew a resurrection of my peace of mind was imminent. I was no longer preoccupied with tomorrow or next week but focused only on the present moment and the beauty, calm and love that was with me in that moment.
Now that I’m home, once again facing the “unwanted” stuff, I am trying to hang on to the peace of mind I felt on my Oklahoma mountain.
With the Easter season upon me, I’ve been wondering if the disciples were searching for peace of mind when they went fishing after Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection. Perhaps they were trying to make sense of everything they had experienced and witnessed. Perhaps they were unsure of what they needed to do next with their lives.
Jesus prepared breakfast for them, and it seems that what Jesus told them at this last meal on the shores of the Galilean Sea (John, Chapter 21) — along with everything they had witnessed and were yet to witness with Jesus’ ascension — resulted in their spiritual awakening. This awakening transformed any doubts, pride and grief into clarity, humility and repentance. And their newfound understanding and commitment changed their lives and the world forever.
I’ve started to realize the importance of a morning meal — the morning communion with our Father-Mother God — which provides spiritual nourishment and direction for our day. Certainly, the delicious breakfast each morning on our Oklahoma hillside was filling and satisfying as we prepared for our day’s activities. But even more invigorating and inspiring was the time my husband and I spent each morning studying our Bible lesson together.
The Psalmist promised, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (Psalms 119:105)
I’m learning that when disappointments, fearful speculations, regrets, complaints or any of life’s miseries or pressures threatens to bury us into a tomb of despair, there is a spiritual view that will show us the way up, out and onward. There is no problem too large or daunting for divine power to remove. And this spiritual view is what we can count on in any situation — wherever we are — to inspire, encourage, reassure and guide us along our way.
I can’t always escape to that “room with a view.” Perhaps you can’t either. But we can rest assured that God’s point of view is available to us 24/7, that His wisdom will lead us to what’s good for us, and that He will give us the strength and ability we need to tackle anything coming at us.
(For those curious or interested: www.lagovistabedandbreakfast.com)
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
There is panic today in the hearts of many. Some are disheartened because they see no solution in sight. Some believe they can trust no one for viable answers.
A preoccupation with fears and worries often incites panic.
When multitudes desperately begged Jesus for help and answers, he taught them a prayer that was described by Christian healer, Mary Baker Eddy, as the “prayer which covers all human needs.” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures)
Prayer enables us to feel God’s presence and know we are enveloped in His love. And there is power in His presence.
I have suffered many times from panic attacks. When faced with conflict, dilemmas, or any turmoil — whether it was real or perceived — I’ve often become a physical and emotional wreck. So I can testify that when the going gets tough, leaning on God is better than panic.
Taking some deep spiritual breaths in times of crisis, pressure and immense stress, enables us to be comforted and reassured by God’s ever-presence. Panic is replaced by peace, and peace quiets fear and calms anxiety. We reach a state of mind that fosters inspiration and revelation. And then, we can see solutions realized and implemented. Problems that at first seem huge or beyond repair become small (or much smaller) and fixable.
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.” (Isaiah 26:3) More than a promise, this is a fact and a lesson I have learned — and I must admit — sometimes need to relearn.
The Psalmist wrote, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me….” (Psalms 23:4) It could be said that the “valley” represents any difficult or terrifying experience we face. “For thou art with me” is an eternal Truth that dissipates fear.
The Lord makes us strong when we are weak.
Several days ago I felt like I was getting hit with one catastrophe after another. I found myself waiting for the next shoe to drop. And it did. The pressure in my head and chest was building until one night I could not even lie down and breathe normally. I felt like I was going to explode.
In my anguish, I prayed. I began with The Lord’s Prayer. As my uneasy thoughts began to calm, I let go of the internal struggle. I put aside all the details weighing on my heart. I stopped my mind from hurrying to tomorrow or next week or next year. And I focused only on feeling God’s presence.
“The Lord will bless his people with peace.” (Psalms 29:11) And He blessed me with peace. My weary night turned into restful breaths and sleep. And the next morning, I awoke refreshed and still confident of God’s ever-presence.
Stay grounded in your spirituality, dear friends. Rest your thoughts on the spiritual rock, or knowledge, that affirms God’s presence, omnipotence and goodness. Then you’ll be like that wise man Jesus told about in the parable who “built his house upon a rock. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.” (Matthew 7:24-25)
Panic paralyzes, cripples, blinds and stifles. Panic is a reaction — an unconscious choice — that serves no good purpose and isn’t helpful or productive.
When our first instinct is to panic, we can consciously choose to pray. Prayer reassures and reminds us that anything is possible, that possibilities are infinite, and that God is with us. And prayer will enable us to move forward, reach new heights, overcome hurdles, and break new ground.
There is no good time to panic, my troubled friends. Pray and you will persevere.
