Remembering a lesson learned – "Be yourself!"

 

Remembering a lesson learned – Be Yourself!

In my first book, The Gospel According to Mamma, lesson 20 is “Be yourself.” I wrote about my step-dad who is actually step-dad number three and my current step-dad. I praise him for being “one of those fortunate grown-ups who has managed to hold on to his childlikeness.” For example: “When he is in church and inspired by a soloist performance, he lets out a resounding “Amen!” It doesn’t matter that his is the only voice heard. He follows his heart. No one is a stranger to him. Everywhere he goes – restaurants, grocery stores, church – he speaks to anyone who will listen. And he hums constantly!”

Step-dad number three is in the hospital for the second time this year. This time around he had surgery and is currently in the ICU. I think perhaps what has disturbed me most about his health struggles in the past few weeks was there have been no hums. (Actually his hums are more like “do-dahs.”) No “do-dahs” had me very concerned!

Both my mamma and step-dad are comfortable in their own skin and never worry about what others think of them. I’ve often longed for their self-comfort so I could also not worry about what others might think about what I had to say or what I did. My worries have often kept me from being true to myself – from following my dreams, going after a goal, sharing my opinion, or from dancing at a community concert when I really, really wanted to get up and dance.

With my sweet mamma and step-daddy as role models, I’ve been learning how to recapture the unbridled freedom I had in my early childhood. And I’ve been learning how to be my genuine self – the kind of self that children innately know how to be.

As I wrote in my book, “Mamma says God created us childlike – full of wonder, in a state of perpetual discovery, curious, compelled by fascination, satisfied by simple joys, spontaneous, trusting, obedient, confident, expectant, innocent, eager to learn, with a humble spirit, forgiving, ready to explore and investigate, filled with the spirit of adventure, unconditionally loving. She says people sometimes accept other traits and opinions about themselves that aren’t part of their nature as a child of God. We stop remembering our childlike self. But to be childlike is what we truly are. My mamma says we need only be willing to rediscover this self.”

I’ve been giving my mamma’s words of wisdom a daily “Amen!” as I endeavor to follow.

I’m also happy to report that my dear step-daddy let out a couple of “do-dahs” during my visit yesterday. He also joked with his nurse saying, “I don’t have my wallet,” when she brought his dinner tray, so “No tip!” And his legs and feet would not stop moving. When asked about them, he declared, “I’m dancing!” Now I’m convinced he is on the road to recovery. His childlikeness has saved him!

 

February's Top 3 Good Books for Moms

Good Books for Moms

I’ve got young moms on my mind this month. My top 3 books for February are some that I used and treasured when I was a young mommy.

1.  Tips for toddlers by Brooke McKamy Beebe

My paperback copy of this book was opened so many times, its pages are not all intact. Of course, it is almost “thirty” years old. (Sorry baby girl, I keep reminding you of that number!) It was fun getting to know “my old friend” again and seeing some of the tips that I highlighted. I suspect my daughter would tell you she remembers these. Some examples, “Offering limited choices distracts the child from what you want him to do. Say, ‘Do you want to wear mittens or the gloves?’ And “Tell your child stories of your own childhood and how you hated to have your hair brushed, etc. Emphasize how much better she is than you were.” And I’m sure this one is my daughter’s favorite memory, “Some children respond well to the suggestion, ‘Go to your room and find a happy face before you come out.’” All of these – and many more – worked well for us!

 2.    How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Many great and effective roll-play examples in this book! I was working on my master’s degree in Early Childhood Education when I was first introduced to this book. My daughter was around seven years old I think. I brought her to class with me one day and she helped me roll play some examples of arguments between a mommy and daughter but with good mommy listening skills. She had a blast! A couple of lines I underlined back then were “Steady denial of feelings can confuse and enrage kids. Also teaches them not to know what their feelings are – not to trust them.” And “After all we were two separate people, capable of having two different sets of feelings. Neither of us was right or wrong. We each felt what we felt.”

 3.    Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

This is a great book with a message for both children and moms! I was first introduced to this book when I was working on my undergraduate degree and taking an education class working as a teacher’s aid in a second grade classroom. “Some days are like that” is a comforting message at the end of what feels like a very bad day. That simple idea helped both my daughter and me to sleep better and be expectant that a new day can and will be better!

Notice to all moms out there! I would love to know what some of your favorite, instructive, helpful and encouraging “mom” books have been and perhaps a sentence or two telling why. Then I will share your recommendations in my blog! Thank you!