Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
I’ve often felt if I could only find a way to simplify my life, I would be happier and my life would be less stressful.
Recently, I came across the opening statement of an online article that caught my attention: “In a world of overwhelming choice, technological complexity and diminishing free time, consumers are desperate to simplify their lives.” (Rob Tannen, director of research at Bresslergroup, a US product design consultancy)
Desperate to simplify is definitely me!
I can’t help but be reminded of the acronym that has been popular in the military, business and government for decades: K – I – S – S. Whether this translates “Keep it simple, stupid” or “Keep it short and simple” or “Keep it short and sweet,” its meaning is obviously focused on whatever simple entails — meaning whatever is easy, uncomplicated, effortless, manageable and fundamental. And I must say that simple does sound like a wonderful life!
Some say the KISS method or principle has its basis in various statements in history, such as Albert Einstein’s, “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” Or Leonardo Da Vinci’s, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”
The Dalai Lama once said that simplicity is the key to happiness in the modern world, and yet for many of us, simplicity feels like the impossible dream. Confucius said, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
It is certainly not my intent to make my life complicated. I asked my husband why he thought it was so difficult for life to be simple. He said, “People have too many commitments and responsibilities these days. The demands on our time are often too consuming.”
Of course, it can also seem impossible — or not very easy — to shorten our list of commitments and responsibilities. Perhaps we see no way to pare down our list. Then what?
My friends, I wish I could say I’ve figured out the simple solution to this not-so-simple question, but I haven’t. What I have started doing is remembering all the simple things that have made my life so sweet. And I’m discovering that what has brought me the most profound joy are the most simple of things.
When I was a child, simple joys would have been blowing dandelions, making flower necklaces, looking for a four-leaf clover — which required hours sitting in a field of clover, watching clouds and imagining what their shapes looked like, walking barefoot in the grass, or watching for falling stars. Actually, most of these are still on my “what makes me happy” list as an adult!
I would also now add things like listening to the sound of ocean waves, smelling evergreen trees as well as fresh cut hay, going for a walk at dusk, savoring my favorite dessert and relishing in the kiss and hug from a loved one.
Perhaps the simplicity the Dalai Lama was referring to has nothing to do with our human choices or the complexities of our lives. Rather, the simplicity that is central to our happiness is an understanding of the simple truths about God and our spiritual identity as his beloved children.
I can attest that basking in God’s love — even if only for a few moments — does make me feel comforted, nourished and strengthened, which is a lot when I feel my life is too complicated and overwhelmed with demands and choices. Truly, my greatest peace and deepest joy comes from prayerful pondering the infinitude and magnitude of God’s love.
The more I think about all the things that bring me joy — and peace of mind — the more I realize that happiness isn’t dependent upon or restricted by all the details and minutia of our day to day lives. The pleasure in the “simple” is found in our active appreciation of the present. Living in the now tells us there are no ordinary moments. Each moment of our life is extraordinary — a time to marvel at and be marveled by.
Downsizing, de-cluttering and prioritizing are all well and good and can certainly be helpful. Trying to maintain some sense of balance in one’s life is good, too. But I think this summer I’m going to start making sure each day includes at least one of the simple joys that has always brought me happiness. And this includes some quality time with my Father-Mother God, too.
Something tells me that these may be the first steps in simplifying the whole of my life. May you, too, remember the simple joys in your life and fill your summer days with as many as you can.
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Father’s Day is a time to commemorate and celebrate the fathers and father figures in our lives. They include stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, father-in-laws, and big brothers – all those who’ve had a role in shaping our life. The word father has also often been used to honor spiritual leaders and inventors throughout history. And certainly many pray to our divine Father every day of the year.
I’ve been thinking about my dad. Even though he passed on when I was young, I have very vivid—some very endearing—memories. Remembering the good took me years because my brief time with him was sometimes filled with sadness—with my dad angry, indifferent, or absent from the scene altogether. He and my mom went through a volatile divorce about a year before he died. Bad memories, however, have become fewer through my prayers to reflect and focus on the good. The balance of memories has been readjusted. This healing journey has brought me much peace.
Even though I can’t spend Father’s Day with my dad in person, nothing makes me feel closer to him than when I think of us both as children of the same divine Parent. I was introduced to Christian Science around the time my dad passed on. Learning that God was always present with me and all of His children, including my dad, was very comforting to me back then, and is now. In fact, nothing is more reassuring and strengthening than when I ponder and feel our Father’s love and presence.
I remember feeling self-assured and encouraged by his confidence in me.
As I recall a few cherished moments with my dad, some Bible verses also come to mind, reminding me that our Father is indeed always caring for and loving both me and my dad (and you and yours) throughout eternity.
“Blessed be the Lord thy God, which delighted in thee ….” (II Chronicles 9:8)
I loved watching television with my dad—albeit a black and white one in those days. One of my greatest afternoon delights was when my dad came home from work and invited me to watch his favorite talk show with him. I can’t say how many times I watched TV with him, but apparently it was meaningful for me to snuggle with him on the sofa. I remember feeling wanted and loved in his warm embrace.
“Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” (Luke 12:32)
One of my early childhood dreams was to be a professional singer and musician—not that I had any special talent for either. I remember very well the day my parents bought me a baritone ukulele like my fourth-grade teacher’s. My dad set up a music stand in my room that displayed a chord instruction book. After a few suggestions from him, he left me alone to self-teach. I remember feeling self-assured and encouraged by his confidence in me.
“If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.” (Mark 9:23)
It’s probably a true statement to say we all want, like, and need to be needed. One of my fondest memories of my dad is when he asked me to help him mix up concrete. He was making a decorative brick wall around our back patio at our new house. My job was to scoop the cups of concrete mix. I remember how important I felt as I fulfilled my duties and how pleased my dad was with my work. His faith in me made me believe I could do anything.
Perhaps my most indelible memory of my dad is holding his hand.
“The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: ….” (Jeremiah 31:3)
And then there were the times when all I needed to feel safe and sound was to hold my daddy’s hand. For a while, the six members of my family shared a two-bedroom apartment. During this time, my bed was parallel to my parents’. I remember many nights when I was afraid in the dark, but all my fears disappeared as soon as I reached across the aisle between our beds to grab my dad’s hand. His strong hand made me feel protected and invincible. And again, I felt loved.
Children may not always understand their dads. We may get very little time to know them. We may sometimes disagree with them. We may even want to be very different from them. But I like to believe that, at least most of the time, our fathers love us. Certainly, we all have a divine Father who does.
Perhaps my most indelible memory of my dad is holding his hand. I’m looking at a photo right now that is on the bookcase in front of my desk. I’m in my Easter dress and bonnet, standing beside my dad and holding his hand. So in the words of singer Holly Dunn – “I’ll always remember the love in Daddy’s hands.” And I’ll never take for granted the love that is always embracing us all from our Father-Mother God.
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Memories of my dad are brief and few and yet they are very vivid. Although it’s been more than four decades since I was in his presence, there are certain permanent impressions that are fixed in my memory.
Dear Dads (and Moms, too): If you are questioning the impact you are making on your children, question no longer. In fact, the very things you may think are of little significance to your children, are the very things that will stick with them for life.
I had less than ten years with my dad before he passed on, and of course, I have no real memories of those first two or three. I’ve been wondering lately why some memories linger and others fade. No doubt I had more experiences with my dad than the ones that stand out the most. Certainly, there are some sad ones that I choose not to recall today.
Perhaps one way to wash away, diminish and erase the bad is to restore, rejuvenate and reflect on the good.
As I recall a few cherished moments with my dad, some Bible verses also come to mind, reminding me of a Father that is always caring for and loving both me and my dad throughout eternity.
I loved watching television with my dad — albeit a black and white one in those days. One of my greatest afternoon delights was when my dad came home from work and invited me to watch his favorite talk show with him. I can’t say how many times I watched TV with him, but apparently it was meaningful for me to snuggle with him on the sofa. I remember feeling wanted and loved in his warm embrace.
“Blessed be the Lord thy God, which delighted in thee…” (II Chronicles 9:8)
One of my early childhood dreams was to be a professional singer and musician — not that I had any special talent for either. I remember very well the day my parents bought me a baritone ukulele like my 4th grade teacher’s. My dad set up a music stand in my room that displayed a chord instruction book. After a few suggestions from him, he left me alone to self-teach. I remember feeling self-assured and encouraged by his confidence in me.
“Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” (Luke 12:32)
It’s probably a true statement to say we all want, like and need to be needed. One of my fondest memories with my dad is when he asked me to help him mix up concrete. He was making a decorative brick wall around our back patio at our new house. My job was to scoop the cups of concrete mix. I remember how important I felt as I fulfilled my duties and how pleased my dad was with my work. His faith in me made me believe I could do anything.
“If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.” (Mark 9:23)
And then there were the times when all I needed to feel safe and sound was to hold my daddy’s hand. For a while, the six members of my family shared a two-bedroom apartment. During this time my bed was parallel to my parent’s. I remember many nights when I was afraid in the dark, and all my fears disappeared as soon as I reached across the aisle between our beds to grab my dad’s hand. His strong hand made me feel protected and invincible. And again, I felt loved.
“The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love…” (Jeremiah 31:3)
Children may not always understand their dads. We may get very little time to know them. We may sometimes disagree with them. We may even want to be very different from them. But I like to believe that, at least most of the time, our fathers love us. Certainly, we all have a divine Father who does.
Indeed, perhaps my most indelible memory of all is holding my dad’s hand. I’m looking at a photo right now that is on the bookcase in front of my desk. I’m in my Easter dress and bonnet standing beside my dad holding his hand. So yes, oh yes — in the words of Holly Dunn — “I’ll always remember the love in (my) Daddy’s hands.”
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
Some say we generally meet our own expectations. In fact, whether our expectations are high or low, it could be said we will rise or fall to the occasion. This is how we live self-fulfilling prophecies.
We become either our own worst enemy or our own best ally. Whose side are you on?
When confronted by a challenge, do you meet it head-on or run away? Do you try extra hard, or do you give up easily or not even try at all? Do you resolve to do what is needed, or do you make excuses and do nothing?
If low morale has taken hold of your outlook and attitude, then you have boarded a sinking ship known as self defeat. Any ship will sink if enough water leaks into it. And nothing will take you down faster than the negativity and pessimism that self defeat incites.
A self-defeated person can only see the worst side. He will say what he is not rather than what he could be. He has little or no hope that change is possible. He gripes, complains, compares and criticizes. He thinks trying something new is pointless since he will fail or be disappointed. So either he condemns himself to be nothing, or he settles for anything but what he really wants.
Consequently, the self-defeated person gets no joy out of his life and is even more depressed about his future. He has nothing good to say about himself or his ability to achieve success. “Yes, but…” is his usual response when someone suggests he consider alternative solutions to his problems.
The bottom line is that despair and discouragement will hinder us from becoming all that we truly can be. The good news is, my friends, we’re not without help and we’re never without hope. It is only bewilderment that has caused us to be mistaken in our conclusions. But a fresh and inspired viewpoint can correct our faulty and flawed notions and propel us forward!
Maybe you’re tired of shooting too low for yourself — and having others who expect little of you or for you. Why not raise your bar as high as God has raised it!
God sees only the infinite potential of His creation — which of course includes you and me. His expectation has no limitations or boundaries. His desire for us is good. He envisions infinite possibilities. So why should our bar be lower than His?
What if there are circumstances that would bring us down, that would stop us from reaching for our dreams, that would have us feel lonely, abandoned, isolated, worthless, incompetent, useless, cheated, defenseless or ignored.
Jesus said, “The kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:21) Did you know this means the kingdom of God — His power, strength, knowledge — is within your reach, is a present possibility? Truly, we are instilled, equipped and furnished with everything we need to conquer any foe and accomplish our goals.
We are not struggling, weak and weary mortals but rather spiritual warriors who are confident, strong and determined. Our life has reason and purpose. We need only recognize, admit and embrace our God-given determination, resolve, ambition, diligence, tenacity and zeal to not only raise our bar but reach our potential.
I love the story of Jesus’ healing of the crippled man by the pool of Bethesda. Apparently, this poor man had been in his condition for 38 years — so perhaps it was no wonder he wasn’t very hopeful when Jesus asked him, “Wilt thou be made whole?” I think it is worth noting that the man responded with a narration of reasons why he had not been healed in all of those years. (John 5:1-9)
I’ve often thought how good I am at reciting all the reasons why I can’t do something or why I haven’t — instead of just doing whatever I needed to do to fix the problem, to accomplish my goal, to improve the situation. There is always an answer even if it is different from what we first thought was the right one. Jesus did heal the man. But it was in a way the man didn’t expect or probably considered possible. All the more reason for you and I to keep our mind open for the unexpected and unplanned!
Don’t let negativity — pessimism, cynicism, skepticism — sink your ship. My friends, you can raise your bar and set your sights on all the good God intends for you. You can be your own best ally. And you can aspire to practice your spiritual prowess which enables you to pursue the infinite possibilities of your infinite potential.
Nov 16, 2009 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2009. All rights reserved.
“And a little child shall lead them.” (Isaiah 11:6)
When I think of a child — remembering when my daughter was a baby — I think of the love a child has for each new day. She loves everything she is doing and seeing in each moment. Every day is a new adventure of discovery and imagination. Nothing can concern or worry her. Nothing can depress or stress her. Nothing can take her peace and joy.
A child may fall as he learns to walk, but he simply gets up and keeps on walking. His blocks may fall over, but he immediately starts building his tower again. When someone bumps into him, they both fall down laughing and then help each other up — still laughing.
Perhaps we really did learn everything we needed to know about life in kindergarten.
But perhaps there is much we can learn now (or remember) by pondering what it means to be young at heart.
I was listening to a Frank Sinatra CD the other day when his song, “Young at Heart” caught my attention. I’ve heard it sung many times and have even seen his 1954 movie with the same title, co-starring Doris Day.
His song gives some assurances that come with being young at heart such as — fairy tales can come true, life gets more exciting with each passing day, it’s hard to be narrow of mind and you can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams. All of these things are possible, Frank sings, when we’re young at heart.
His song suggests that being carefree and happy isn’t based upon age. I suspect many of us fondly recall — and at least some of us long for — our youthful days of less responsibility and more energy. But according to Frankie, it sounds like an ageless lifestyle is grounded by an eternally youthful outlook. So a youthful outlook isn’t only in spite of one’s age, but also in spite of one’s circumstances and experiences.
American baseball player, Satchel Paige, also renowned for his philosophy on staying young, asked a poignant question. He proposed, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”
It could be that too much awareness of our age develops into an excuse. Whether that excuse seems very real or it is imagined or assumed, age becomes the basis for our limitations, inabilities, inactions, boundaries, obstacles and confinements. I wonder how my thoughts as well as my actions, decisions and dreams would change if I dismissed completely any thought of getting old or older.
Now that I’m moving into my fifties, there’s a long list of synonyms for old that I want no part of. Synonyms like decrepit, obsolete, antiquated, outdated, stale, dull, dusty, worn out and most importantly — gray-headed. That will never happen!
Perhaps staying young and maintaining a youthful point of view is possible and for the most part within our control.
Why can the young at heart laugh when their dreams fall part? Because the young at heart are visionaries!
If one dream doesn’t turn out like they dreamed, they envision a new dream — a new possibility, a new path, a new opportunity. As I recall my own childhood memories, I don’t think a day went by without me dreaming about my future. And that future was filled with endless possibilities — many of which are still attainable and many of which I’ve not yet pursued. So what am I waiting for?
Why can a little child lead them, as we read in Isaiah?
Because children know no limitations, boundaries or obstacles! Children only envision or imagine what is possible. Children are flexible, adaptable and buoyant. Children don’t take matters so seriously. Children have the innate ability to lighten up absolutely everything they encounter. Consequently, they are able to lessen the oppressiveness, trouble or severity of any situation and make any needed alterations, changes or modifications to reach their goal.
So my friends, may we all cast away our old age blinders and return to the God-given vision of our youth — where our vision sees only the infinite. Surely this is how we keep our heart young! And this point of view will lead us to our own infinite possibilities!
