Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
The women in my family have a tradition of watching “Gone with the Wind” each year. Perhaps it’s our Georgia roots that impel us to do so. The coming of the “new year” reminds me of a favorite line when Prissy exclaims: “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies!”
Well, our new year has been born without any help from you and me. Thank goodness! Life keeps moving us onward and forward. The real question is: Now that our new year has arrived, what are we going to do with it?
Last year’s troubles are behind us, with disappointments and failures a fading memory — hopefully. But maybe we feel we didn’t do a good job with our last year, and we worry whether we can do better this year.
Many times in my life I’ve wasted days, and even months, grieved by past mistakes, overcome with regrets and buried in self-condemnation. At such times, even though I welcomed the idea of a “new year” with new beginnings, I seemed paralyzed and unable to walk into this land of promise and possibility.
Looking to Bible friends and their life experiences for insight and wisdom has often provided me with the boost needed. When I think of how to make a fresh start, the first person who comes to mind is the apostle Paul.
His sudden and total transformation from persecutor to preacher and healer has always amazed and encouraged me. He left his past of hatred and prejudice behind him and progressed effortlessly, so it seemed to me, into a life of selfless ministry unto others.
How was he able to put his horrible past quickly behind him and rebuild his life?
His own words offer some clues. Such as: “Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward. … I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. So let’s keep focused on that goal. … ” (The Message Bible, Philippians 3:13-15)
His words speak to the “now” of our thoughts and actions and the need to leave the past behind where it belongs — in the past. His words also don’t expect us to have all the answers for the future. We simply make strides, however slowly, however long it may take.
Perhaps you’re feeling you messed up so badly in the last year that you’re not worthy of a fresh start? Paul didn’t begin by ruminating over his many mistakes and wrongdoings. His new beginning commenced with a fresh view of his spiritual self. That’s a good starting point for each of us — our spiritual identity of innocence and goodness.
More biblical perusing brings the assurance that it is God that renews us. We don’t have to muster up all we need for making a change. God is present with each of His children every moment — guiding us and giving us the strength and courage needed for our endeavors. As we proceed, keeping focused on our goal, as Paul says, we will feel the divine energy enabling us to overcome challenges and making us ready to face a new year.
We need only anticipate better times and acknowledge the presence of divine Love lighting and leading our pathway. We have a new year before us. Let us forge ahead. With forward motion, one step at a time is enough!
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
I never discuss how I plan to vote in an election, nor do I reveal how I voted. Probably to the shock of my mother, I’m about to make an exception to my rule of thumb. For the record (and for my mom’s benefit), I consider myself a “moderate” American and consequently never vote a straight party ticket. When it comes to presidents, I have voted for every party possible during my 30-year voting record. My daughter calls me “an extreme nonpartisan.” She’s probably right.
President Gerald Ford’s passing has compelled me — as it has many others — to recall how his brief tenure in the office of president impacted my life.
He was the first presidential candidate to get my vote. It wasn’t a vote for a political party, nor was it a vote against the other candidate. For me, 18 years old and a freshman in college, it was a vote honoring the courage to do what was right, even if it was an unpopular decision. Since apparently only history sees the wisdom of such courage, I should not have been surprised when my presidential candidate lost the election.
At a time when many Americans became dismayed with the leadership in our country, I was reassured. Although I knew President Nixon had engaged in wrongdoing and illegal activities, I agreed with President Ford’s decision to pardon him. I didn’t have any basis for my agreement at that time, other than my enormous respect for President Ford. I felt that he could not be persuaded from acting on his highest sense of right — a good practice, I’ve discovered, in decision making.
No doubt, most of us have had to make, or will make, some difficult decisions in our lifetimes. I’ve read that a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity while an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. I’ve come to see every decision I’m confronted with as just that — an opportunity.
My best suggestion for getting advice on making a good decision is to take your opportunity to your Father-Mother God. He is also the best source for any courage required.
It turns out God already has equipped each of us with the spiritual sense needed for making good decisions. The apostle Paul wrote, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (II Timothy 1:7). This “sound mind,” or spiritual sense, must surely include fairness, wisdom, compassion and integrity. If we utilize our spiritual sense in making decisions, we will be prompted toward right thinking and consequently make decisions that are not only good for us but good for all whom our decisions touch.
Living in a family of pilots all of my married life inspires what has been a helpful decision-making analogy for me. For any flight, a pilot considers and plans the best possible course of travel. But a good pilot is always prepared for the unexpected and ready to change course accordingly. It does no good and probably would lead to disastrous results if a pilot was so shocked by an unexpected storm in her path that she didn’t change her course and flew right into the storm. Or imagine a pilot faced with inclement weather. She becomes frustrated, disappointed or depressed that she has to change course and travel a path different from the route she had planned and so remains in a circling pattern. If she circles long enough going nowhere, the plane will run out of gas!
So I’ve learned there’s no need to avoid making decisions. The sooner decisions are made, the sooner I can continue moving forward on my life journey. At times, I’ve thought a change of course indicated a mistake in my initial decision. But now I realize that sometimes what’s right in one moment is not right in the next, and that’s OK. Trusting my highest sense of right in every circumstance has helped direct me to the best course of action.
I try to see all decisions as opportunities — never as difficulties that are too tough or hard, unexpected or unwanted. Keeping myself flexible and open to face whatever opportunities come my way has led to my greatest success stories.
Spiritual sense and seeking the divine perspective for every decision assure a powerful presence in consciousness that can lead and guide all of us in the best direction possible.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Icy weather that kept me inside during the football play-offs created an unexpected writing experience. Watching these championship games leading up, as my husband says, to the defining moment in any football team’s season — the Super Bowl — has prompted me to review defining moments in my own life.
What makes defining moments? I think they are moments, sometimes major events, always memorable occurrences, that cause me to think in terms of “before” and “after.” They are the moments that define and redefine who I am. They are the moments that stand out — some positive, some not so grand. But they are the moments that have raised my awareness and helped me discover the truth of who I am and my life purpose.
This process began with me making a list of what I think of as the major events in my life to date. I suspect some on my list are not so unlike many of yours, including such occasions as meeting my husband and having a baby. These might be characterized as two of the greatest “touchdowns” of my life.
Then, there are the more challenging events, which for me include my dad’s passing when I was 10 years old; a homeless journey with my mom that landed us in Texas; my suspension from college. Some experiences are a mixture of happy and sad, such as the day my daughter (my only child) left for college and the day she got married. These events could be translated into a collection of tackles and sacks with a few injuries, dropped balls and penalties, as well as some unforgettable third-down conversions.
While my life appears to be the sum of four quarters of play action, these in and of themselves do not define my life. I realize that it’s been the way I’ve responded to each big and small play that delineates who I am.
It seems the secret, or at least one key ingredient, to being a good quarterback is how well I respond when forced out of my comfort zone. This is when the “pass rush” comes toward me, and I may feel I have no control. Do I get out of my comfort zone and make the essential play, or do I stay and take the sack and perhaps even fumble the ball?
There are times when I’ve wondered how to gain the skills to perfect my game, especially when the needed response would have me going outside the secure walls I’ve built for myself. Since I was introduced to the teachings of Christian Science — another defining moment in my life — I’ve been learning that I actually have all I need right now as a beloved child of God. I need only respond using my God-given abilities. The Bible tells me, “Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32). These words remind me that God is always giving me everything I need to reach crowning achievements in my game of life. And when I have any doubts, I am assured, “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you” (James 4:8). When I’m confused or unsure how to respond to whatever I’m facing, I can turn to God — what I know about God’s ever-presence, goodness and love — and I will feel the divine leading and guiding me.
Life isn’t just about the big plays, touchdowns and field goals. I’ve discovered many defining moments are those precious memories that happen in between the major events. So my next list was a list of memories that stand out, many that I now see taught me valuable life lessons.
One example among many is my earliest recollection, when I was nearly 4 years old. I recall the delight I felt in running up and down what seemed to me was a “huge hill” in the hallway of our house. I suspect it was some unleveled floor, as we lived in a very old house. But to a toddler, it was a hill that gave me much happiness. This dear reminiscence teaches me to remember the joy God promises in each moment and to respond with rejoicing as I run up and down the life-hills that I may face.
Needless to say, my memories list is a few pages longer than my major event list. This tells me that life truly is more about the moments — each individual moment, not just the grandiose events. Yes, watching the football play-offs this year has reminded me of the importance of staying present with my life so that I recognize and cherish all of the not-to-be-forgotten moments that teach me grand life-lessons.
May you and I reflect upon all the defining moments of our lives and be able to conclude, “I was there, I lived and breathed and played the game. I learned and I loved, I laughed and I cried, and I danced. Life is good.”
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Ants, fire ants in particular, are no friend to farmers and ranchers. My husband would most certainly concur! Each year he faces what feels like a losing battle trying to smooth our pastures due to the ever-increasing number of ant mounds. So somehow it feels a bit like an oxymoron to suggest that ants, one of the smallest and most annoying of God’s creatures, know very well the key to being successful. Perhaps this, too, is why they seem impossible to get rid of!
Consider this lesson about the ant that we read of in the Bible: “You lazy fool, look at an ant. Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two. Nobody has to tell it what to do. All summer it stores up food; at harvest it stockpiles provisions. So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing?” (Proverbs 6:6-9, The Message Bible)
Maybe you desire to be more productive in your work. Or perhaps you’re a new graduate poised to begin your career? Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, bored or afraid to take the necessary steps?
Many times in my life I’ve struggled with a lack of motivation to complete a project. Sometimes I’ve lacked the motivation to begin a long-needed project! Then there are other times when I have felt so overwhelmed and stretched by the demands upon me, that I reached what felt like my limit of endurance and my breaking point. Believe it or not, pondering the life and works of “the ant” has given me fresh inspiration time and again and has helped me overcome difficult times in my life.
Ants seem to know their purpose in life very well and appear to keep it in the forefront of their thought as they keep moving. They don’t allow anything to interfere with their progress. Obstacles in their path do not stop them. They refuse to give up. Clearly, they are examples of courage, expectancy and determination.
Once a task is complete, they go immediately to the next job at hand. Ants appear to approach each undertaking with zest, energy, enthusiasm. Persistence may be their greatest characteristic. I suspect ants would never consider defeat. They face unexpected tasks with confidence and resolve. I have no doubt they will not stop until their goal is reached.
Ants don’t work or live alone. They understand the concept of teamwork. They seem to believe that their own success requires others around them to be successful, too. Therefore, any ant is ever ready to help a fellow ant to progress. They are always ready to lend aid and offer support as needed.
They seem to be able to carry objects that weigh enough to crush them, and yet they appear to carry their heavy loads effortlessly. Perhaps the old adage about the joy in your steps making everything lighter is something the ant puts into practice.
Mary Baker Eddy was not speaking about ants, but her words in an article titled “Fidelity” seem quite fitting: “The conscientious are successful. They follow faithfully; through evil or through good report, they work on to the achievement of good; by patience, they inherit the promise. Be active, and however slow, thy success is sure: toil is triumph; and — thou hast been faithful over a few things.”
This reminds me of the parable Christ Jesus told about three servants and the talents given them. Two servants did well and increased their talents, but one allowed his fears to persuade him to hide his talent. It was only the two servants who were conscientious with what was given them that earned the tribute: “Well done, good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things. … ” (Matthew 24:23)
I’ve concluded that it’s emulating the many qualities that an ant exemplifies — such as diligence, patience, perseverance and persistence — that helps me climb over those pesky hills called boredom, fear or frustration, and prove that conscientious effort results in success. Perhaps you, too, can find inspiration and encouragement for your endeavors from the life of the ant!
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
For the first time in American history, there are more singles than married folks. Yep, heard it on the morning news the other day! Of course, another statistic reported that most of these single folks still live in pairs; they’re just not too quick to officially tie the knot. Interviews with many single women indicated they do still hope and plan to marry someday.
Although marriage may not be uppermost in the minds of all single folks, it does still hold true that singles are looking for love — a companion, a partner, a date. This is a topic that I can’t approach without thinking about my mother.
My mother has buried two husbands and one ex-husband, and at 80 years old, is currently married to a very dear man. After each marriage, she declared to me, “I’ll never marry again.” Indeed, as far as I could tell, she never looked for a man and didn’t appear to want one. Yet men seem to be irresistibly drawn to her, like bees to honey. Perhaps my mother has some helpful advice for those looking for love.
Let me introduce you. She’s a Georgia peach, as some would say, born and raised in and around Atlanta. She may be among the last true Southern belles, but I hope not. She has a welcoming smile, engaging embrace, friendly tone of voice and thoughtful gestures. She has honeysuckle-sweet charm and a mischievous spirit that covers up (at least to the eyes of men) her smart and savvy ability to get what she wants and when she wants it.
She’s always been brutally honest with every man she has met. She had one true love that would come first in her life, and she made this perfectly clear the first time she met a new man. Her relationship with God would have top priority, and nothing would ever interfere with what God wanted her to do.
There’s a verse in Psalms that expresses the depth of her love for her Lord. “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, O God.” (Psalms 42:1) Over the years, she has learned all too well that God’s love is a lasting love, a love she can count on. She knows God never takes His love away or disappoints, nor does His love die or have conditions. So, she has spent her entire life longing and endeavoring to know God better and cherishing His eternal love for her.
It was the first time she found herself without a husband that the Bible assured her, “For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name. … ” (Isaiah 54:5) I think she believed these words and never again thought she needed a man to be her husband. Whether or not God thought she needed a companion throughout her life or thought the men in her life needed her, I’m not sure. That God meets our every need, there is no doubt. Only for very brief moments in her lifetime has my mother been without a husband.
She’s always been able to appreciate the goodness in everyone and, by the way, she’s convinced that there truly is good in every person. My mother would tell you that God created us good, that the first chapter in Genesis confirms this. In fact, the chapter concludes, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31) My mother has yet to not find goodness in someone. Perhaps the men in her life were attracted to her recognition and appreciation of their goodness.
After a few years of looking for love in wrong places and faces, I decided to try “appreciating goodness” myself and see if this point of view could bring more good into my own experience — and love life. This was the year before I met the man who would become my husband of soon-to-be 26 years. A previous long relationship was so disappointing that I didn’t want to experience that type of heartbreak again. So, the year I met my husband, I decided to focus on completing my college degree and appreciating goodness everywhere and in everyone, including all the men I was meeting, being friends with and dating.
This viewpoint not only changed how I saw others, it changed my view of myself and consequently my actions toward others, too. You might say I started living by my Southern belle upbringing, which really is another way of saying living by the “golden rule” — treating others as well as you would have them treat you.
Who would have thought I would meet my husband in line at an amusement park ride? Each summer I took my niece to Six Flags over Texas to celebrate her birthday. My date had to work at the last minute and couldn’t go with us, so my niece and I set off for the park without him. As it turns out, my soon-to-be husband’s date couldn’t go to the park with him that day. We met in line and began a conversation. The rest is history. The old adage “Love comes when you least expect it” was true for us. But I believe with all my heart that meeting my darling husband was God’s plan for us both.
So you’re looking for love? My mother’s life-example teaches we can trust our loving Father to meet and provide for our every need. Being the loving children of God that we are means we spread good will, consideration and graciousness to all we meet. Before you and I know it, we will be like my steel magnolia mother with her captivating charm and impeccable manners. We’ll experience love because we’re giving it and living it — extravagantly.
