Oct 14, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
A news report describing a recent university study published in the July 2007 journal Developmental Psychology caught my attention. The study concluded that although excessive discussion about problems may strengthen friendship, it takes an emotional toll that can result in depression, and more so on girls than boys. Apparently, girls are more likely than boys to mull and worry endlessly over just about everything imaginable.
These results didn’t surprise me. I’ve never found it helpful to relive and rehash the mistakes, behavior and past actions of myself or those of anyone else. In the same light, I’ve never found inspiration and encouragement by time spent speculating over what-ifs. And yet, it’s impossible to count the immeasurable number of hours I’ve spent with girlfriends probing and analyzing for naught or thinking to myself in futile contemplation.
I eventually discovered that this type of venting and brooding created a vicious cycle of replaying unwanted memories. Guilt, anger and despair can feel overwhelming. We certainly don’t want to keep these feelings bottled up and festering. But we also don’t want to perpetuate these emotions.
The whole point of bringing such feelings to the surface is for the purpose of feeling better — healing, resolution, growing and progressing. So, a helpful and productive discussion about problems, challenges, disappointments, and so forth, is one that helps us be honest with ourselves and lifts us out of and moves us beyond painful pasts and remembrances.
My favorite biblical example of someone who didn’t waste time ruminating is Saul of Tarsus, also known as Paul. For some time Paul was a harsh persecutor of those who preached Christ, but he had an experience that changed his outlook and ambition to a spiritual course. In his case, dwelling on his many mistakes could have entangled his thoughts and emotions into an eternity of guilt. But the Bible says, “and straightway he preached Christ in the synagogues” (Acts 9:20).
Undoubtedly, we’ve all had times when we wish we could rewind the tape and delete undesirable scenes and start over. Whatever your sad story may be, the imprint of bad memories can vanish as quickly as the ocean washes away footprints in wet sand. Perhaps you’re thinking, “If only … ”
There are several passages in the Book of Psalms that I now turn to when I need to silence bad dreams, bad memories or dark forebodings. First the question is asked, “Whither shall I go from thy spirit?” (Psalm 139:7). Then the next few lines present dreary scenarios, such as making my bed in hell or dwelling in the uttermost parts of the sea or the darkest of night (Psalm 139:8-9). In every situation, I am assured of God’s presence: “thou are there … even there shall thy hand lead me … even the night shall be light about me” (Psalm 139:8-11).
Reminding myself that God is a constant companion — that I’m never alone — is comforting. And it’s a relief to remind myself that His love for me is unconditional and infinite. This type of communing seems to require that I enter into my prayer closet where I can shut the door to disturbing images, fears and worries and refresh my troubled heart with a spiritual view. Asking myself what God knows, sees or thinks enables me to find the spiritual view that can see beyond excited, anxious and disturbing emotions.
God understands and knows our needs, whether we voice them or not. Again, the Psalmist wrote, “Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off” (Psalms 139:2). We can relieve our minds from depressing thoughts as we reassure ourselves with the presence of God’s love and guidance. We can mentally contradict and protest every dark image in our thoughts with the light of what God is thinking for his precious children right now. As Jeremiah wrote, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil … ” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Don’t let unwanted memories become ghosts that haunt you the rest of your life. Yes, confront them. Then — dismiss them, banish them, reject and disown them. Simply blot them out with God’s all-encompassing love. Defend yourself from anything that would weigh you down and keep you from moving forward on your life path. God is your best and forever friend who is always listening and ready to give the best advice in every situation.
Oct 14, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
It’s about time to begin my packing list. Weeks before a trip is scheduled, I start my travel preparations with a list. Mostly I do this because I don’t want to forget anything I may want during our vacation. My husband would probably tell you that I generally overpack my bags with more clothes, etc., than I could possibly need or use. Nevertheless, his comments don’t deter me in the least as I move forward toward our trip countdown.
Did you know there are guides on how to pack a suitcase? Yes, over the years I’ve come across dozens of packing guides and many helpful tips. One such guide begins, “Packing a suitcase is a strategic exercise in maximizing space and minimizing wrinkles.” My mom has often boasted about my skillful ability to make the most of my packing space.
Yet another guide begins, “Knowing how to pack a suitcase is essential to being a good traveler.” However, 27 years of traveling with my husband have taught me a successful and happy trip requires more than the items I pack in my bags. Indeed, the most important thing I need to pack doesn’t require luggage. As the title of a recent online chat featured on www.spirituality.com put it, “Don’t forget to pack prayer.”
I’ve found that beginning trip preparations with prayer has helped me add items to my suitcase that I might not have thought I needed and then would indeed need during the trip. In addition to packing, planning for a trip can raise all sorts of anxieties. For me, this has included fear of flying, health concerns, inclement weather dreads or any other unexpected or unwanted catastrophes.
With plenty of worries to fear and fret about, it’s a wonder anyone can ever have a happy vacation. But prayer can help us find the perfect solution for every situation. During one trip on which everything went wrong, including a hurricane evacuation, prayer made the difference in turning the trip into a safe, and still fun, adventure.
Packing prayer means acknowledging God’s control and power before you pack — or rather, before you even make your packing list. Then, certainly every day throughout a trip, packing prayer is listening for God’s wisdom and knowing that He is providing us with the practical ideas we need. Packing prayer means we’re alert to the angels of His presence — the spiritual intuitions and thoughts God gives us. These spiritual guides will lead us on a safe journey and also deliver us if we get into any trouble. For the Psalmist promises, “For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways” (Psalms 91:11).
The Psalmist also tells us how we hear the guidance our angel guardians give to us when he says, “Be still … ” (Psalms 46:10). Being mentally still may not always be easy, especially in challenging times, but doing so, if only for a few moments, will help us to hear God’s angel messages more clearly.
As we prepare for traveling and embark on our travels, we can be assured that God is with us to care for us each step — or mile — of the way. We can trust in the Psalmist’s reassuring message, “The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore” (Psalms 121:8).
So, when you’re preparing to travel, don’t forget to pack prayer and have a great trip! That’s my plan, too!
Oct 14, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Do you feel like you’ve been abandoned and no one has your back? Do you feel alone, even when you’re in a room full of people? Loneliness can consume our body and soul and confuse and distort our perceptions. But “one” is not necessarily the loneliest number!
Everyone has times when they are alone, either by circumstances or choice. Actually, it’s essential to have times when we choose to be alone.
I cherish my moments of solitude. Sometimes my alone time is sipping a cup of hot tea while studying my Bible lesson or perusing a magazine, or taking a walk, or sitting in a comfy chair writing in my journal, or relaxing on the sofa reading a book. My alone time might even be just sitting quietly at my desk meditating, reflecting, praying.
Time alone in spiritual reflection can help bring balance and perspective to our lives. And such holy moments can refresh a troubled heart with reasons for hope and point toward solutions. These alone-with-God moments can be a wonderful gift to ourselves, moments that enable us to feel the embrace of our Father-Mother God and be reminded that we’re loved and wanted.
Sometimes people avoid being alone, hoping to escape from having to be alone with their thoughts, their fears or their insecurities. But being alone with God enables one to confront whatever would cause us to be troubled, afraid or insecure. God is an almighty power, conquering any evil and overcoming any disease of mind, body or spirit.
I’ve had times when I’ve struggled with being home alone, particularly when my husband goes out of town for a few days on a hunting trip. Even if I have friends or family staying with me, I still struggle with the feeling of loneliness. The only thing that helps me in these times is pondering the love that God has for us both and thinking of the love we share with each other as a natural expression of the love that God has instilled in each of us. This helps me feel united with my husband in God’s love, and I realize that no matter where I am or my husband is, I can still feel his love and he can feel mine. Love knows no boundaries and is not confined by time and space.
When we struggle with loneliness, we may feel that nobody else has ever been in our shoes, which, by the way, is never true. We may believe we’re not understood and that there is no one to turn to. We may fear being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people and then generally behave in such a way that forces our worst fears to become true. Some call this a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can’t help but be reminded of Harry in the movie “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.” Increasingly being faced with crisis situations, Harry insists his friends could never understand his turmoil and begins to push them away, lamenting that he must endure and face the enemy, Lord Voldemort, alone.
His emotional struggle with feelings of separation and isolation becomes possibly his most difficult battle and one that perhaps was part of his enemy’s battle plan against him. As Luna Lovegood wisely concludes and advises Harry, “Well, if I were You-Know-Who, I’d want you to feel cut off from everyone else. ‘Cause if it’s just you alone, you’re not as much of a threat.” Harry eventually discovered and learned the strength and power of having his friends at his side.
Each of us, as a child of God, has the companionship of our divine Parent and Friend forever at our side — ready, willing and able to help us in any situation. God is ever present, ever ready to be “our refuge and strength” and is truly “a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).
We need not feel we must tackle life’s challenges by ourselves. Divine help is at hand.
Loneliness is nothing but a state of thought. And thought can be changed, uplifted, inspired and encouraged. Whether we’re struggling with feelings of abandonment, rejection, depression, insecurity, anxiety, hopelessness or unworthiness, a spiritual outlook can lift our mental state above our limited human perception. A good dose of “heavenly inspiration” is the only cure I’ve found for overcoming feelings of loneliness. And I get my best inspiration when I’m alone with God.
Still think you’re alone? Well, you’re not! ” … the God of love and peace shall be with you” always! (2 Corinthians 13:11)
Oct 14, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Recently, while on vacation in Boston, I was sitting in the café at the Mary Baker Eddy Library for the Betterment of Humanity. Appropriately titled, the café named “Quotes,” featured a wall presentation of lighted statements from various authors, leaders, and thinkers. As I sat enjoying my coffee and crème brule, a quotation appeared that captured my attention because in many ways it described the roadmap for progress in my life.
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
(Melody Beattie, Author of Gratitude: Affirming the Good Things in Life)
I’ve come to understand gratitude as an attitude that is consciously chosen regardless of circumstances. Gratitude is a viewpoint from which our life can be observed. For we either see what is there or we dwell on what is not. Gratitude lights our view to what is already there. Gratitude helps us to see what is right and good in our life. Gratitude has the power to broaden our vision and help us see options and prospects that were only obscured from our point of view. There are many examples in my life that have taught me more about the transforming power of gratitude.
I was a young child when I first witnessed this power. It was a time when my mother and I were without a home and income and had little else. This time of my youth was the bleakest it would ever be in my life, materially speaking. However, as I’ve often said, it was the gift of gratitude my Mom and I gave to each other that brought peace during those uncertain days and actually created a vision and expectancy of a brighter tomorrow. Fear, doubt and worry being replaced with an attitude of gratitude enabled opportunities to be seen that led to a new career for my mom and a successful and happy life in a new city for us both.
I was in college when I again witnessed the effect of gratitude. My mom very much wanted me to go to college, an opportunity she never had. I never had a doubt that college was where I was suppose to be, but neither my mom nor I knew where the tuition money would come. My mom had saved enough for my first semester, but I literally headed off to college on a leap of faith. I had learned well in my early childhood that how I think and perceive my life experiences could impact the finale of each experience. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude kept me centered with confident resolve on present needs, one semester at a time. Remaining optimistic and expectant, adequate funds were earned, borrowed or granted throughout my college journey.
William James, 19th century American psychologist and philosopher said, “The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” A contemporary of James who was an influential teacher, religious leader and author, Mary Baker Eddy, wrote in her best-selling book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, “We are all sculptors, working at various forms, molding and chiseling thought.” Then Eddy speaks of the choice we have in which model we place our gaze upon and how this choice determines the outcomes of our life. She further wrote, “We must form perfect models in thought and look at them continually, or we shall never carve them out in grand and noble lives.” Throughout my life, I have seen the results of an attitude of gratitude, decidedly shaping every experience, every job, and every relationship.
My most recent encounter with gratitude led to remodeling my present home and loving my “new” old home – something I once thought impossible. The year 2001 brought many financial changes to my life. My job was cut to part-time, our savings invested in the stock market dramatically diminished and the hope of building a new home was all but lost. The depression of these times for a while caused tunnel vision where it was difficult to see anything but lack and loss. But it was gratitude that widened my frame of vision and enabled me to conceive ideas for my current home I never considered or thought possible.
One of the opening lines of Eddy’s book, Science and Health, is, “The time for thinkers is come.” This is true for all times. Be a thinker. You always have a choice in how you think. Choose an attitude of gratitude. Living your life from a grateful heart will help you overcome every hill you have to climb. I promise you, it is impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time. Gratitude will hold you in the spirit of joyful expectation. You will maintain a focus on what is really important. And you will keep a powerful antidote for any problem in your pocket – gratitude.
Oct 14, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
I was alone in my bedroom lying on the bed. The pain in my chest was so intense that I couldn’t move. My daughter was visiting for the weekend, but she was still asleep in her room with the door shut and her husband was in the living room at the other end of the house watching television. My husband was out making a delivery to a hay customer. I couldn’t cry aloud for help – but I didn’t think anyone would hear me anyway. Was I helpless? What could I do?
Words from a hymn in the Christian Science hymnal were the first to come to my rescue: “God is my strong salvation; What foe have I to fear? In darkness and temptation, my light, my help, is near. Though hosts encamp around me, Firm in the fight I stand, What terror can confound me, With God at my right hand?” (Hymn 77)
Then the Biblical promise my mother often quoted assured me: “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.” (James 4:8)
I immediately felt calmer. The fear that had gripped me began to subside. What came to mind next was the first sentence from what Mary Baker Eddy called “the scientific statement of being” in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures: “There is no life, truth, intelligence, nor substance in matter.” (p. 468)
Thinking of the pain as synonymous with matter, I reasoned, “There is no life in pain, there is no truth in pain, there is no intelligence in pain, and there is no substance in pain.” I knew these statements were true because God is the only life, truth, intelligence and substance. I knew that I was the reflection of my Father-Mother God, that every part of my being reflected God. I knew there could not be a moment when I was not reflecting the absolute perfection of God.
From the time I had first started studying Christian Science, the truth that “all things are possible to God” – at all times and in all situations – had become very real to me. Mary Baker Eddy’s study of the Bible, the healings she had, and those she helped others to have, resulted in her discovery that healing was a natural outcome of acknowledging, affirming and practicing the laws of God that are found in the Bible. For the benefit of all, she explained these laws in Science and Health, telling how to apply them in the practice of scientific, mental healing.
Often in the past, when I prayed, I had found it helpful and strengthening to walk around, literally pacing back and forth, affirming the laws of God as law to my being , applicable to whatever situation I was praying about at the time. I would liken myself to a lawyer on a case, arguing for the innocence of a client.
While this time I could not do my usual walking and pacing, I argued I could still mentally affirm just as powerfully that God was governing and protecting me.
I recalled a statement from the chapter entitled “Christian Science Practice” in Science and Health: “Insist vehemently on the great fact which covers the whole ground, that God, Spirit, is all, and that there is none beside Him.” (p. 421) So although I could not move, I could “insist vehemently” that I was not alone and helpless, that God was always with me. I could “insist vehemently” that every thought, every hymn verse, every Bible passage, every statement from Science and Health, that came to me, represented laws of God coming to my rescue and affirming my innocence – my exemption from suffering.
After a short time, the pain abated. I could move close enough to reach the telephone, and was able to call my husband on his cell phone. He was just driving through the gate of our ranch. When he got to the house, he called a Christian Science Practitioner to further assist me prayerfully, because at that moment, I was leery of trying to stand and walk, fearing that the pain might return.
The practitioner assured me that I was completely safe in God’s care, and that nothing could intrude upon my perfect soundness. He also told me that I could trust the effectiveness of the prayerful work I had been doing. In that one call, the remaining doubt that I might not be totally free was completely dispelled.
I was soon able to stand and walk and get on with my family activities planned for the day. The pain did not return. I was fine and remained fine.
This experience has filled me with hope. Hope that says, “It’s never too late.” “We’re never out of reach.” “Nothing is beyond repair.” “No situation is too dire.” I truly believe there can be no extremity in our body, in our family, with our job – even on a battlefield – where the healing laws of God can’t rescue us.
