Nov 17, 2010 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2010. All rights reserved.
Was I surprised that I could be surrounded by everything foreign to me and yet feel strangely at home? Somehow this didn’t surprise me so much, but it did add to the wonderment of my trip to Italy.
It is a rather humbling experience to be somewhere and be dependent on the sensitivity of those around you to help you find your way and make you feel comfortable in unfamiliar surroundings. When I returned to the United States, I became acutely aware — for the first time — of directional signs written in several other languages, placed to be of service to the many visitors our country welcomes from every continent of the world.
And since I lived in 12 different places during the first 17 years of my life, I am keenly aware of what it feels like to be the new kid on the block. During those years, I lived in houses, duplexes, mobile homes, hotels and a car. But I can attest that no matter where I lived, I felt “at home.” Perhaps this also helps to explain why — for me — home has never been confined to a single location. And maybe this fact also helps to explain how I could feel so at home in a country I’ve never been to before.
Still, I used to think of “home” as connected to a person. When I think about my childhood, I could say home was wherever my mother was. And since marrying my husband a little over 29 years ago, I’ve believed home would be wherever he was.
But my husband wasn’t with me on my trip to Italy and yet I felt completely and comfortably at home. This feeling has awakened my curiosity.
Home has been defined in many ways. Some say home is a safe environment — a place where you have no worries or problems, where you feel peace, where you love to be, where you feel comfortable and content. Or some say home is with a certain person or in a place you love most. But is home dependent upon person or place? My experience is telling me it isn’t.
It has been written, “Home is where the heart is.” Interestingly enough, trying to understand exactly where my heart is or what my heart is longing for, could describe the reason why I went to Italy. This searching of my heart was not something new. It began a few years ago when my only child left for college. But it has continued, and prior to my trip to Italy, my search had become more urgent.
Much has been written for those searching their heart. Some informative quotes include: “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7) “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matthew 6:21) But one of the most compelling ideas I’ve come across is one by Mary Baker Eddy: “We should examine ourselves, and learn what is the affection and purpose of the heart, for in this way only can we learn what we honestly are.”
For the first half of my life, who I was seemed simple — I was a daughter, a college student, a wife, and then a mother. For a while now, I’ve wondered if this is enough for my life — feeling like it wasn’t. And even more recently, I’ve questioned if I’ve been defining myself correctly.
Perhaps who I am has nothing to do with what I’ve done or how others see me, but everything to do with my own heart — my perception and understanding of who I am and the purpose for my life.
Because my trip to Italy felt very God-directed in my heart, I couldn’t help but feel His divine presence while I was in Italy. I was in a constant state of examining my heart and listening for what God would tell me next. And God had much to say about who I was and His purpose for my life. I took to heart every inspiration that came. And I am still pondering the meaning of it all.
But I have concluded that home is where God is. And guess what? There is no place where God is not! And this is the reason why I felt at home when I was in Italy — separated from the people and places most beloved and familiar to me.
And this is why you, too, can feel God’s presence any time, any place and any where! For where our heart is, God is — loving us, encouraging us, comforting us, and guiding us.
Nov 17, 2010 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2010. All rights reserved.
My mamma has quoted Bible verses to me all of my life. So, perhaps it’s no wonder that regardless of the situation I’m in, a Bible verse comes to mind with some new lesson to teach.
It doesn’t even matter what the original context of the verse is or whether or not it makes sense for my current circumstances. In fact, it’s sometimes a curious fit, which is why I think the words capture my attention.
As I entered the plane for my journey to Italy, once again scripture came to my thought — “Enlarge the border of thy tent” — to be precise.
Actually, when I checked it later, the correct phrase is “Enlarge the place of thy tent.” (Isaiah 54:2) But there are Biblical references that talk about enlarging one’s border as well. These include two phrases, “…the Lord thy God shall enlarge thy border” (Deut. 12:20) and “…that they might enlarge their border.” (Amos 1:13)
As I sat down on the plane, I immediately wrote in my journal: “Enlarge the border of thy tent. I have a feeling I will be learning the meaning of these words.”
Since I was soon to be leaving the “borders” of my country for the first time ever, it’s no surprise the word border come to mind. After all, I had not been able to get that fact out of thought for weeks!
Not long after I wrote my journal entry, a beautiful woman in appropriate Islamic attire sat down next to me. I couldn’t help but notice the prayer book in her hands that she continued to reference and clearly pondered prior to the plane’s take-off. Her actions reminded me that I should do the same and pray for everyone’s safe journey. And so I did.
The flight would be a long one from Boston to Paris — my stop before heading on to Verona, Italy. So, it would be natural to have a conversation with my neighbor. This proved interesting, since my neighbor spoke very little English, and I could not speak any other language but English!
Still, during the course of our flight, I learned quite a bit about her. She was a mother of many children. And one of her children was living with her sister in Boston finishing his high school years with plans to attend an American college, too. I gained respect and compassion for her commitment to the well-being of her children and the separation she was enduring as part of that commitment. Suddenly, I was more aware of what we had in common as mothers than any presumed differences. This was pretty big for me, since there was a time when the sight of her would have brought suspicion and fear.
Prior to my trip, I had reached the conclusion that God was indeed enlarging my border or He was making it possible for me to enlarge my border — whatever that was going to mean. And He wasn’t wasting any time helping me find out!
I don’t believe in coincidence or luck. I tend to view every situation and circumstance of my life as one to learn from and grow. So actually, I guess this whole idea of enlarging my border is not a new one. I’ve been aware for a few years now that I had many self-imposed boundaries, limits and confines that needed to be enlarged, widened, broadened and stretched in countless ways.
It wasn’t luck that I received an invitation to go to Italy. And it wasn’t coincidence that my plane neighbor was this woman.
And it wasn’t surprising that my flight was taking place on my dear husband’s birthday — an occasion I’ve never missed in our thirty years together. It’s funny because even though I was far away from my husband, it felt like he was with me. This may sound corny, but I think he so fills my heart that it’s impossible to feel separated from him. But it seems it required me being away from him to realize this fact!
There is no doubt in my mind that my concept of home has been enlarged by this trip. This topic may require another column to fully explore it. I’m in awe at how a person can be in a foreign country and feel at home. But I did! I’m certain that it had something to do with me realizing that God created the entire world without boundaries — borders we’ve named “countries.” And it took me leaving the comfort and familiarity of my own small “world” to give any thought to what this meant.
When we’re faced with a situation that is forcing us to stretch in some unexpected or unknown way— perhaps going through unchartered waters — we don’t need to be afraid. With God at the helm of our ship, we can’t help but travel through and beyond the confines of limited views and narrow opinions. And we learn more about a world without borders — the world God created for all of us to share together.
Nov 17, 2010 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2010. All rights reserved.
Do you ever feel like your life is nothing but an uphill journey? I’ve found that when I make such a complaint it’s because I’m more focused on the climb — particularly each step I’m striving to make — rather than the broadening view surrounding me as I go up.
I had never stood on a mountaintop before my trip to Italy — much less stood on any snow-covered mountain. So when my friend suggested we take a gondola ride to the top of Italian alp, Monte Baldo, I said yes with some trepidation.
Now I realize that I took the easy and fast way up. Most mountains don’t have a way to comfortably ride to their top. So I suspect mountain climbing usually involves a slow walk and a steady pace with perhaps times where crawling is even appropriate. And undoubtedly, there would be many needs to take a break and rest along the way.
I can’t help but think if I had walked my way to the top of this mountain, I might have been more prepared for how I felt when I got there.
“Breathtaking” is a good word, and it wasn’t a physiological reaction to the high altitude. We trudged through the snow to Baldo’s scenic point. I wanted to look down at times to make sure my feet were following the path, but it was almost impossible to not constantly look up and outward to the infinite horizon encompassing me.
I had to pause many times — not for rest — but to take in a deep breath of appreciation for the beauty and observe the new vista I had come upon.
I had no idea there would be countless numbers of other mountaintops that would be capturing my gaze — I suspect only visible by air or on top of a neighboring mountaintop. I was surprised by the many hillside villages tucked discreetly away in between mountains. And I thought, “I never would have known they were there.”
The butterflies and anxiety I felt before boarding the gondola left almost immediately as I stepped foot on the mountain. With every step, I gained an air of calm, confidence, composure, equanimity and self-assurance that I’ve never felt before.
I didn’t need to ski or ride the snow mobile, although these would have been fun to learn and experience. It was enough — at least that day — to just be there.
I was so glad our mountaintop day was at the beginning of my Italy experience. It helped me realize what I had accomplished by making the journey. And it set the tone for the rest of my trip — dare I say, for the rest of my life.
One might think that an invitation to stay in a little Italian villa on the hillside of Lake Garda would not cause any hesitation or apprehension. But for me, it was one of the most difficult decisions of my life!
Somehow, after almost thirty years of marriage and a life devoted to the care of my husband and only child, I was feeling unsure about my purpose for the rest of my life. And I seemed to lack any independence needed to act on my own or the ability to even think about what was best for me, myself and I — as they say.
So, to go on a trip to another country — something I had never done before — without my husband, was no small feat for me. All the days leading up to my decision felt like a steep uphill climb to be sure!
I decided to go as suddenly as the invitation came, without any reason other than the feeling that it was something that I had to do.
Standing on top of Monte Baldo brought to mind a Bible scripture: “And they rose up early in the morning, and gat them up into the top of the mountain, saying, Lo we be here, and will go up unto the place which the Lord hath promised.” (Numbers 14:40)
Being on that mountaintop assured me that the Lord promises purpose for our lives throughout our lives. Our purpose doesn’t reach a conclusion or diminish with age. Sometimes our journey to achieve our purpose is smooth, sometimes rugged. But it is an ascent that is doable and obtainable. And we can be certain we’ll have the angels of His presence with us every step of the way.
Yes, my friends, our life journey is always uphill. We want it to be! We need it to be! As we go up, we can be guaranteed of a better and fuller point of view. And we definitely want to reach that ultimate vantage point that the top of the mountain provides.
So give me that mountaintop view! It’s worth every step required to get there!
Nov 17, 2010 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2010. All rights reserved.
Balance has long been among my greatest desires. I’ve tried to imagine what balance in my life could look like. I’ve talked about it, and I’ve written about it. But I don’t believe I had ever experienced balance until I went to Italy.
With every bite of my Italian cuisine, I discovered the meaning of balance — that perfect blending of flavors. Yes, Italian chefs have most definitely mastered balance!
Eating in Italy illustrated balance to me in a fresh way. In fact, Italians use only fresh ingredients — nothing frozen or from a can or jar. I learned how much richer the flavor is when using fresh vegetables, herbs and whole cheeses. I’ll never eat pasta again — in my house — unless I make it from scratch! And I learned in my Italian cooking class just how easy pasta is to make!
In a recipe, each ingredient is equally important to reach the desired flavor. Each ingredient by itself is meaningful, and you can’t imagine your recipe without it. And in Italian dishes, no one ingredient overpowers another. There is never too much sauce!
I always know it’s a dish I will love when I love every ingredient — even when I’ve never mixed the ingredients together before. And of course, it is also fun to try an ingredient you’ve never had before and discover a new love.
So what does all of this have to do with achieving balance in my life?
My new appreciation of how Italian chefs achieve balance in their cooking has me evaluating the “how” of all aspects of my life.
Have I become stuck in some old routines to the point of not finding satisfaction or joy in what I’m doing? Have I become more concerned at how quickly I can accomplish something rather than regarding the quality of the end result? And are there things that make up my day that I genuinely don’t like? And are there things that I long to include and I’ve not been able to for whatever reason? Is there any one thing that is demanding all of my time to the exclusion of another that is important to me?
If you’re like me and can answer “yes” to these questions, then perhaps it’s time to make some changes and do some things differently. I have a feeling this may be easier to do than I realize. In fact, it could be as easy as the Nike slogan, “Just do it!”
Remember all those ingredients in a recipe that you would never leave out because they are needed to achieve the finished product?
I’m thinking about the activities that are most important to me and to my day and realizing the importance of never leaving them out. Why would I ever do this? It isn’t difficult to understand why my days could feel off-balance if they are missing something that I feel is essential to my happiness, peace-of-mind, or well-being.
I think we must be honest with ourselves, my friends. This necessitates us truly getting our priorities in the right order.
For me, just like trying that new ingredient in a recipe, this also includes the strong desire to experience things I’ve never done before or going to places I’ve never been to. In fact, I hunger for whatever is new and different!
So now, I’m even giving another look at all things in my life that have become routine and exploring how I can make the old, mundane or boring, fresh and new and interesting.
And I am focusing on what’s most important to me and making those things my top priority each day — instead of maybe fitting them in, maybe not. No more worrying and fretting about balancing all the other stuff that I finally realized just doesn’t matter that much. The result is a happiness and satisfaction I’ve never felt before!
Who would have ever imagined that a trip to Italy and the enjoyment of its fabulous food could have impacted my entire life in such a way? Not I!
But for the first time in my life, I can sincerely say that balance is not only possible, it can be accomplished and achieved to the utmost perfection — just like the Bolognese meat sauce I relished in Bologna or the Farfalli with veal sauce I savored in Verona!
Nov 17, 2010 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2010. All rights reserved.
The day had finally arrived. I could hardly believe it. There I was — excitedly sitting on an airplane soon to be heading to Italy. And I was equally excited that one of the movies I was going to watch in-flight was “Up in the Air.” It was one of those movies I wanted to see but didn’t when it was in movie theaters. But perhaps it was more appropriate to see a movie with such a title when one was indeed up in the air!
I’ve been pondering some of the thought-provoking lines from the movie such as when George Clooney is giving his “What’s in your back-pack?” workshops. He explains how “we weigh ourselves down” in many needless ways and asks the question, “How much does your life weigh?”
I had been feeling weighed down with many worries and responsibilities before heading to Italy. And I must admit that while sitting on that airplane, I was already feeling lighter.
I had to come to the conclusion before I left that the same Father-Mother God who was going to take care of me on this trip was going to be taking good care of all my loved ones at home. I had to realize that they each had a direct link to God and didn’t require me to be their negotiator or mediator. And I had to relinquish my self-proclaimed ownership of various responsibilities and any opinion that I was the only one who could take charge of them.
My travel companions had advised me to check only one piece of luggage. This was to make for an easier walk from the parking lot to our place of lodging in Italy. I soon understood why one suitcase was important. The walk from our car was a long one — and very steep and downhill on uneven cobblestones! I’m still amazed at how my luggage wheels survived.
It was an incredible feat for me to check one suitcase, however. I had never done this before, and it required a lot of downsizing of hair products and precise packing of clothes and shoes. I guess anything is indeed possible when one really wants or needs to do that something!
This brings me to another surprising accomplishment. I bought both my daughter and myself an Italian-made purse. The only problem with this lovely gift is that it again required some major downsizing by us both. However, in making the purse switch, we were equally amazed to realize how much we often carry around that isn’t necessary. And again, I was impressed to learn what can be done when we really want to do it.
Who wouldn’t want to lighten their load and lead a calmer life? Such was the bigger question that loomed over me as I traveled to Italy.
Reportedly, overpacking is the biggest travel mistake as well as the biggest life mistake we all make at times. Our life need not be backbreaking. Carrying around unnecessary burdens, fears and worries — especially those that belong to others — throws us off balance. But the main point for me was realizing how much is really unnecessary, pointless, serves no good purpose, and accomplishes nothing good for anyone. So why do we do it?
I’ve found it helpful to remember the Bible Scripture, “…the battle is not yours, but God’s” (II Chronicles 20:15) when I try to assert my personal responsibility for making life work just so for me and anyone else.
My goal — another lesson learned from my trip to Italy — is to lighten my load for the rest of my life. I can already feel myself shifting from overwhelmed to efficient and have experienced more productive peace-filled days. And remarkably enough, I’m seeing that others can take care of their own lives just fine with God at their helm instead of me.
So my friends, clean out, disencumber, unburden, unload, reduce your backpack, your purse , your wallet — your life — of everything that isn’t yours or necessary. You’ll be surprised at how much less you can get by with. And your life will feel weightless!
