Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy.” I think that’s how the song begins. But it’s not so easy in summertime when one lives on a Texas ranch and it’s hay season.
My mama says she didn’t send me to college to end up driving a tractor. To get my hands dirty. But almost immediately upon the completion of my undergraduate degree, I married a Texas boy and began life on a cattle ranch.
Most of the time, I tell my friends my life is much like Eva Gabor on the U.S. 1960’s sitcom, “Green Acres.” I go shopping. I get monthly pedicures. I go to the hairdresser twice a month. And I get my acrylic nails put on and filled. This also requires two appointments each month. And I never, ever, ever drive a tractor without first putting on my lipstick.
Today was the first day of this year’s hay season. I admit this time of year is a love, sometimes hate, relationship. The long workdays and late night dinners are not much fun. But there is something about driving a tractor that I do enjoy. The smell of freshly cut grass is most pleasing. And I especially relish the broad view the hay fields provide as I move along.
The big horizon before my gaze reminds me how infinite life is. And whatever troubles have been burdening my heart begin to seem quite small in contrast.
Inevitably, the last stanza of a favorite hymn comes to mind:
“Green pastures are before me, Which yet I have not seen; Bright skies will soon be o’er me, Where darkest clouds have been. My hope I cannot measure, My path in life is free; My Father has my treasure, And He will walk with me.”
As I press on under the hot Texas sun and sing these words, my heart is filled with peaceful appreciation of the moment. I take a deep breath, wipe the sweat off my brow, and sing the words again. Then, I start to reflect on how attitudes and perceptions impact my life.
As I grew up, my mama always encouraged me to look for what is good in everything. And to be grateful. Time and again her advice proved to be right, and I learned how gratitude was a viewpoint from which my life could be observed, helping me to see what was there instead of what was not. Gratitude had the power to broaden my vision and to help me see options and prospects that were only obscured by a limited point of view.
My most vivid recent example of this came with the remodel of the little farmhouse where my husband and I have lived the past 25 years. It began as our starter house and grew into the home where we would raise our only child. Now, it has become the place where we may spend our retirement years.
For most of these years, I was ready to move out. Ready to build a new house. And consequently, I spent much of my time being unhappy about where I was and looking forward to something that might never be.
A friend, who is a talented artist with an interior decorator’s eye, was visiting one day and began pointing out various special and unique features she saw in our little farmhouse. She saw details I had never appreciated and valued before–mostly because I was consumed with focusing on what I didn’t like. My heart was so set on building a new house, I wasn’t even considering ideas on how to improve where I was.
A truly miraculous thing happened — something I didn’t expect, wasn’t looking for, and would never have imagined. My view of my little farmhouse changed. As my appreciation for it grew, I began to imagine ways to remodel. Very soon, the idea of building a new house was no longer even a consideration. I wanted to stay where I was. I was totally happy and satisfied where I was. Today, with the remodeling almost complete, I can’t imagine living anywhere else.
Once again, gratitude helped me to see present possibilities, and that new view changed my life.
My first day of driving the tractor this year was accomplished with me feeling quite satisfied with and proud of my hay loader skills. Those folks familiar with this type of work will appreciate my meaning when I say I didn’t miss any bales!
A thumbs up from my husband affirmed, “Good job!” And I was on my way to cook supper.
Summertime in Texas means many more days like today. But tomorrow’s not a hay baling day! I have my pedicure appointment!
Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
“I love you this much!” our daughter would say, smiling and stretching her little arms as far apart as she could. And she would ask us to say how much we loved her while we held out our arms and included as many quantifying phrases as we could think of — such as, I love you … more than the number of stars you can count in the sky, or I love you … more than all the people in the world. Oh, how she would giggle with delight at this news!
I guess I’m a bit like my daughter, who is now grown up and married. I can’t help but tell my husband how much I love him, and I love for him to tell me the same. So, there are those times when I ask, “How much do you love me?” And he responds with answers similar to those we used to tell our baby girl.
Recently, after I asked him my “How much do you love me?” question, he sweetly answered and then asked, “But is there a measure for love?” A good question. A profound question, the more I thought about it.
Pondering if it’s possible to measure love, I can’t help but think of Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … .” Her beautiful love sonnet includes such sentiments as “I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach” and “I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life!” I must admit, to hear such statements of “quantity” would certainly make me feel really loved.
Perhaps it’s not possible or necessary to measure one’s love for another, because our love truly is more than mere words could ever express. And I know the old saying often holds true, “Actions speak louder than words.” But I still want and long for the words, too. Maybe that explains my passion for romantic songs, books, movies and greeting cards.
Consider how weddings almost always include a love song. Couples choose a song or songs that express their feelings for each other. Such romantic ballads have existed for thousands of years and have been found in most cultures. Songwriter and producer Robin Frederick wrote, “The earliest love songs sound so contemporary, so honest, so urgent, they might have been written yesterday. They are proof that human emotions have not changed. When we fall in love today, we feel what men and women felt in centuries past: desire, joy, disappointment, yearning, fulfillment.”
It seems we’ve always loved to tell our beloveds how much we love them, and we cherish having the same sentiments expressed back to us. “An anthropologist once asked a Hopi why so many of his people’s songs were about rain. The Hopi replied, ‘Because water is so scarce. Is that why so many of your songs are about love?'” (“Gila: Life & Death of an American River” by Gregory McNamee)
My answer to this Hopi would have been a resounding “Hardly!”
The American culture’s interest and passion for love is anything but scarce. We may not always have our actions coincide with our desires, but we are in love with love nonetheless. Love is the theme of many of our songs because we long to soothe and inspire our soul with love lyrics. We love hearing about longing for love, finding love, wishing we could find love, as well as when we have found it and want more of it. And yes, we also love lyrics that paint a less rosy picture, expressing our many fears and insecurities about love — losing it or never having found it.
But the Hopi was correct in that many of our songs are indeed about love. In fact, over half of the most popular songs written in America throughout the decades have been, and still are today, on the subject of love.
The subject of many of Jesus’ teachings were on love — love for God and from God, love for our neighbor, and even love for our enemies. Jesus also warned us against the wrong kinds of love — praying aloud because we love to be seen and heard and disproportionate love of our material treasures. His teachings established the basis for how we can measure our love for God by our love for one another.
Paul’s famous words on the extent and reach of God’s love for us is perhaps my very favorite Bible verse: “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God … ” (Romans 8:38-39).
Wow! Those words surely quantify the love of God for us as infinite and eternal and sure make me feel very much loved. So, maybe words fail to fully give a measure of love, but that’s no reason to stop trying to express our love — not only in our actions but, yes, also in our words.
Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2005. All rights reserved.
Thursday, November 24, 2005. A national day of Thanksgiving.
Homecoming celebrations. Platefuls of turkey and dressing, cranberry sauce and pecan pie. Perhaps a feast less about food and more about family.
Americans gather with their loved ones and give thanks for the many blessings in their lives. Even when material treasures appear sparse, Americans remember the intangibles held close to heart and are grateful to be together.
Days of thanksgiving began long before a national proclamation was made. For the Plymouth colonists, it was a celebration of food and feasting following their first harvest.
During the 1700’s, it was common practice for individual colonies to observe days of thanksgiving throughout the year, but it was a day set aside for prayer and fasting rather than feasting.
Later in the 19th century, states would designate a day of thanksgiving in honor of a military victory, an adoption of a state constitution or a bountiful crop.
It was in 1863 when President Abraham Lincoln issued a proclamation calling for the observance of a national Thanksgiving holiday. And it was in 1941 when President Franklin D. Roosevelt made the national holiday the fourth Thursday in November.
Every Thanksgiving, thousands of families celebrate without a father, mother, son, daughter, brother or sister.
This year is no exception with thousands of American troops deployed overseas during the holidays. This year is different for my family because this year my family is among those thousands.
Our daughter married a little over two years ago, only six days before our son-in-law was to begin his Air Force training. Training completed, he left the country a couple of months ago on his first deployment. And our daughter, with her puppy in tow, returned to mom and dad’s house.
Difficult times, yes. But we keep our soldier ever in our thoughts, conversation and prayers.
Although he will not be present at our Thanksgiving dinner table, his empty place will be set. We will not raise our forks without first expressing our gratitude for his service to our nation. We will honor his willingness to put the safety and security of his fellow citizens before his own. We will pay tribute to his ideals, dedication, passion, patriotism, courage and conviction. And we will praise and pray for all servicemen and women and their families.
These words by Mary Baker Eddy, author of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, have become part of our daily prayer: “…may their love of country and their faithful service thereof, be unto them life-preservers!”
I must admit, holiday seasons have come and gone year after year without me giving more than a passing thought to the sacrifices made by our military and their families. This year I vow to begin a new tradition. From now on, we will have an empty place set at our dinner table every Thanksgiving. To never forget again the thousands that are separated from loved ones during precious holiday gatherings.
Perhaps you would like to join us?
Set an empty place at your Thanksgiving dinner table, too. And from table to table, we’ll give thanks all across America for our selfless heroes. And pray for their safe return home.
My family will most certainly have reason to feast again when our soldier comes home. A day for thanks giving, indeed!
Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
The season of Thanksgiving is upon us. This means sales to the Hallmark Card Company.
Annually, sales of thank-you notes spike in December and January, undoubtedly fueled by the 58% of moms, who according to the Hallmark Research Department, actively teach their children to write notes of appreciation for gifts they’ve received from family and friends.
My mom taught me thanking others in some tangible way is having good manners. Certainly, we appreciate kindnesses shown to us. But is that all there is to gratitude – being grateful when something good happens or for how much good we have?
What about when things don’t go our way? When we’re having a bad day? When we’re going through difficult times? When we’re stressed, anxious or sad? Where is our gratitude then? Perhaps we’ve become too dependent on outer circumstances, allowing them to dictate how we feel rather than the other way around.
Suppose gratitude is not merely a passing sentiment. Maybe gratitude is not so much about what happens to us, but more about how we happen to the world around us.
Consider gratitude as an attitude, a point of view and a state of being. With gratitude as the premise for every thought, feeling and action, how would your day change? Do you doubt that your mental state impacts everything and everyone around you?
One Christmas, my daughter gave me a magnet inscribed, “If Mamma Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy.” We laughed about it, but actually, that magnet expressed how she felt. I started realizing how my attitude affected my entire home. Certainly, my attitude influenced my actions, my mood, my tone of voice. And consequently, my attitude impacted every member of the family, day by day, for better or worse.
I soon learned that my attitude didn’t just influence my family. You can test this for yourself. Walk into a store or work or a meeting. Think happy thoughts. Count your blessings. Hum your favorite song. Smile. Walk confidently with joy in each step. And watch the people around you. See how they respond.
Then try the reverse. This time think unhappy, miserable thoughts. Grumble to yourself. Slouch. Drag your feet. Frown. And watch those around you. I bet they run for cover and avoid even making eye contact with you!
I’ve found gratitude to be an unlimited and infinite resource. A wellspring that never runs dry. A resource that is available in any and every moment. And I’ve found that gratitude can transform even the most desperate of situations into one of hope, optimism, and certainty of a better and brighter day. How can we live in a state of joyful expectation?
A grateful heart begins with the moment. This moment. Make a conscious choice to be present in the moment. Get off automatic pilot. Think about what you’re doing, what’s happening around you. Ask yourself, do you feel gratitude right now in this moment? There is always something to appreciate even in the worst of times. I found these helpful words in a book called, Moments of Gratitude: Quotations from Mary Baker Eddy: “Hold to the presence of all good in which you live and have being.” No matter what the situation or circumstance, we can acknowledge, expect and witness good in our life.
So I’ve started to begin each day with recognizing the good that is present. Waking up with a grateful heart, helps me see the good around me. Making gratitude a daily practice will change your life. It has mine. What can gratitude do for you?
Gratitude can quiet anxiety. Relieve stress. Soften anger. Make you feel lighter, happier.
Gratitude will lift you up. Build you up. Strengthen you. Nourish you. Sustain you. Comfort you.
Gratitude eases worry. Brings clarity of mind. Helps you forgive. Affirms that good is stronger than evil. Assures all is well, all will be well. With a grateful heart, you can handle anything that comes your way.
Gratitude gives you a zest for living. Enables you to savor everything life puts before you. Helps you see your life as a gift instead of overworked, mundane, or burdensome. You’ll find contentment. Satisfaction.
Gratitude makes you feel blessed. And impels you to bless others.
So great is the power of gratitude. And endless are the reasons for thanks-giving during this holiday season and in every moment of every day of the year.
Oct 13, 2006 |
As I sit in front of my television watching President Reagan’s flag-draped coffin being lifted into an airplane, I am swept back thirty-five years ago to when my dad’s flag-draped coffin was carried. At the time of my dad’s passing, he had spent almost half of his short life in military service.
Some may wonder why we’re having all the pomp and circumstance surrounding the death of our 40th president. But I think it’s a good thing. It’s reminding me of the high calling of the presidency – the selfless responsibilities of that office. As I reflect on the service of President Reagan to this country, I am in awe that a successful businessman and actor such as he would want to devote the latter years of his life in government leadership. Especially in a job that is frequently ridiculed and often unappreciated.
I love how Jeanne Kirkpatrick, his national security adviser, once summed him up. “Ronald Wilson Reagan, 40th president of the United States, believed the American dream because he has lived it.”
President Reagan was also a father. He expressed his beliefs in family values during his presidency. However, the reality of his father-children relationship was not a perfect one.
This also describes my relationship with my dad. I had a short time with my dad as he passed away when I was only 10 years old; about a year after my mom divorced him. I’ve spent most of the past thirty-five years remembering the not-so-perfect things about my dad. As I sit here reflecting on the contributions of President Reagan to this country and the world, I am being pushed to give pause to my dad. Maybe it’s time I give my dad his due.
Desmond Tutu said about family, “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” Honestly, I’ve not thought about my dad as a gift from God to me. Sad and unhappy memories have too long blurred my mind from recognizing how my dad contributed to who I am today. Even difficult experiences teach us, shape us and often transform us and help direct us to a better road for our life journey. Or even what we might think of as a bad example points us unintentionally in the direction to look for a good model.
I recently read one of those cute little gift books called “For Father with Love” that my daughter gave to my husband years ago. I noted some of the many honors being attributed to dads such as how dads teach us about the world and our place in it. How dads help us with the choices we make. Impart their values. Encourage us to be our own person. To be bold. Trust our intuition. Be confident of our abilities. How dads teach us right from wrong. This little book also noted that often their guidance is indirect, too.
My dad has had an indirect impact on my life choices, decisions, and values, even though he has not been a present role model for most of my life. And I do have fond memories. I just hadn’t given them thought in a long time. I love how he always wore a hat. He loved to cook. He taught me a song we often sang together when driving in the car. He bought me my first baritone uke. He let me help him mix concrete when he was building a brick wall around our patio. And I loved to be in his arms watching TV. I always felt safe and loved.
The course of our lives are influenced by values we embrace, ideas we learn, people we interact with, and the many experiences that teach us lessons impelling us to make progress and grow. And our lives are shaped by those we elect to lead our nation.
Today, I honor my dad and what I’ve learned directly and indirectly from him being part of my life journey.
But today I also honor each and every president of the United States of America; past, present and yet to come. And I share the sentiments expressed by Mary Baker Eddy in a tribute she wrote about President McKinley at his passing. “She (our nation) stops to think, to mourn, yea, to pray, that the God of harvests send her more laborers, who, while they work for their own country, shall sacredly regard the liberty of other peoples and the rights of man.” Thank you, President Reagan, for being one of these laborers.
