Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Criticism. Is there a day that goes by in which any of us doesn’t feel its sting or dish it out — or witness another either being hurt or abusing others with this purposeless weapon?
The irony about criticism is that by definition it has the potential to be a healing and positive force for growth and progress. Instead, it is often misused and so never reaches its potential.
Criticism is supposed to be an offering of a valid and well-reasoned opinion or a new and fresh perspective, with the intention of helping and correcting. As such, an individual who is critical in this way actually takes a peaceful and benevolent approach and is non-authoritarian and diplomatic. But all too often, people criticize with hostility and insult, then demand and oppose without sound judgment or analysis — and usually with an uninformed interpretation of the facts.
I’ve given out my fair share of this kind of criticism and no doubt have been as guilty as another of being rash and unreasonable. But lately I’ve been challenging myself to consider my words and actions more wisely. This is mostly because I’ve been thinking about the man who many refer to as the best man who ever walked this earth and who is also the most criticized man to have ever lived — Christ Jesus.
I often wonder how Jesus would be received if he arrived on the human scene today, and I can’t help but conclude that his treatment would be no different than if it was 2,000 years ago. Would he really be any more understood? He most certainly would break down so-called holy traditions, ignore societal codes and offer ideas that are “out of the box,” compared to accepted and long-believed norms and opinions. No, I fear he would still be criticized, maligned and persecuted.
What do we hope to accomplish by our criticism? Can we learn to turn criticism into a force that heals rather than one that hurts? How do we do that?
Jesus gives us instruction when he once rebuked his disciples who were angered because a village they had entered wasn’t welcoming them, and they wanted to “command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them.” Jesus told his brethren, “Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.” And he also reminded them, “The Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them” (Luke 9:51-56).
Surely this means that we, too, must examine our hearts and be sure our words and actions have the same purpose as that of our Master — to save and not destroy.
And there’s no time like the present. One of Britain’s most notable physical scientists, Martin Rees, in his book “Our Final Hour,” states that the very survival of the human race is dependent on actions we take in the current century. Somehow I can’t help but think we must change the manner of our criticizing ways if humanity is to reach its potential of harmonious coexistence.
We can do this. Having the same loving Father, we can insist on seeing each other the way God sees each of us — gentle, selfless, patient, teachable, fair-minded — never hard, harsh, self-willed, unreasonable, stubborn. We should contend that we are created in God’s image and likeness, imbibe all those qualities of goodness and then act accordingly. We must affirm that humanity will ultimately yield to its spiritual nature. Certainly, conflict, divisiveness and opposition are not part of God’s plan for His creation!
We can turn our discussions and viewpoints from blame and finger-pointing to prayerful and hopeful ideas and suggestions. The world needs the constructive force of the spiritually, discerning critic. I suspect that to be spiritually discerning, we must pause and seek holy wisdom before we speak and act. We must always ask ourselves, “Will our words and actions help, save and heal?” As we quiet weary, disappointed, disturbed or frightened thoughts and listen for God’s angel messages, we will receive the divine inspiration we seek and hope for and most assuredly will receive good advice.
Abraham Lincoln once said, “He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to heal.”
May we all have a heart to heal ourselves of our destructive, criticizing ways and bring to an angry and troubled world the peace and hope that saves and heals.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
We seem size-obsessed in America. Sometimes we say bigger is better, while other times we argue slim is best. We long for big paychecks and houses, but we love slim waistlines and cell phones. When we want new and fresh ideas, we encourage big thinking. But I suspect many women would agree that when it comes to gifts, “Good things come in small packages!”
Perhaps size does indeed matter.
However, when one considers the Scriptural story of the shepherd boy David in his battle against the Philistine warrior Goliath, bodily size was of no consequence to the outcome. In fact, one could say David’s victory over Goliath was in spite of Goliath’s enormous physical proportions (1 Samuel 17:23-50).
Then in another biblical setting, when tax collector Zacchaeus, a “wee little man,” according to the children’s rhyme, was trying to get a glimpse of Jesus, his small stature didn’t stop him. He simply climbed up into a sycamore tree to get a better point of view (Luke 19:2-9).
Both examples teach me valuable lessons about size. In the David and Goliath story, it wasn’t physical size that mattered but rather the size of David’s faith and courage. And Zacchaeus didn’t use his shortness as an excuse when he had trouble seeing over the heads and shoulders of the crowd before him. Although his physical size was small, his determination and creativity were huge. These stories teach me that no matter how big the problem I face, I must not be too quick to give up — that the size of my hope and persistence must be big to win the day.
Yes, these stories assure me that there are no obstacles too great to overcome. The Apostle Paul offers this same assurance. He asks: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” Then he answers: “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, or angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35-39).
I find much comfort and promise in these words of Paul. Whenever I’ve felt challenged to the point of almost giving up, I’ve reminded myself of the expanse of God’s love for me as his beloved child. This fact brings the reassurance that God’s love is vast, immeasurable and without limits. Knowledge of God’s infinite love transforms and heals — removing and destroying fear. I have found it impossible to feel completely and totally loved by God and afraid at the same time. And many times in my life, when fears were no longer consuming my outlook, healing answers came into view and changed the course of my life.
So I venture to say to anyone, that with an understanding of God’s infinite love embracing and shepherding your every thought and action, there is no hill too steep, no ditch too deep, no distance too far, no trail too long, no river too wide, no hurdle too high, no wave too big, no job too tough, and no problem too difficult. As children of God, we are each equal recipients of a treasure trove of spiritual skills and abilities that equip us to meet and master any “Goliath” and enable us to find the “sycamore tree” that lifts our spirits to a new and higher perception.
What matters most about size is where we place our confidence — the material, transient and changeable or the spiritual, eternal and dependable. Although there may be many theological points to explore and understand, I don’t think any is greater than the breadth, depth and scope of God’s love for each one of us. You can believe in it, trust it and count on it. The size of God’s love is what matters most!
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Even as the airwaves were filled with devastating images of floods, tornadoes and fires, a flood survivor was able to express humor in the midst of his own catastrophe. I was impressed.
He was being interviewed by a television reporter as he stood on the balcony of his second-floor home. His first floor was submerged by a swollen river. The reporter made the statement that this man’s town was completely under water and everyone appeared to have left, except for him. And the man wittily responded, “Yes, my town’s population is now only one.” Never during the conversation was there a sense of doom in his words, tone or appearance. He even described the peacefulness of evenings when he sat out on his balcony. He expressed confidence that he and his wife would recover and rebuild from this destructive rain event. He showed no doubt or dismay.
As I’ve thought again and again about this man, I’ve concluded he knew a truth that was bolstering his spirits and confidence. He must have known the truth of the adage “The darkest hour precedes the dawn.” So much so, in fact, that he convinced me he was already envisioning that dawn. And I was inspired by his joyfulness.
His demeanor reminded me of words from Christ Jesus that my mom has often quoted: “…and your joy no man taketh from you” (John 16:22). My mom also paraphrased those words into the instruction “Let nothing take your joy from you.” And nothing can take our joy, because joy is indeed God-given. It can’t be lost or taken away. God-given joy is powerful and healing. I was certain this dear man must also have known this spiritual fact and was already experiencing the restorative effects of joy in his darkest of days.
Who hasn’t experienced blessings from life changes that follow an adversity? Much is to be gained amid these struggles, and only our depressed vision can keep us from seeing what can be gained. I’m not in denial of the bad stuff. But I do believe seeing the brighter side enables us to find the good that lifts us out of the bad. Paul said it this way in his epistle to the Romans, “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). This tells me acknowledging the presence of God’s love and power right in the face of discord will enable me to indeed overcome evil with the power of God’s law of good.
Our five senses are not enough to get us through life successfully. We also need to use our sixth sense — our sense of humor — as a way to view the world that surrounds us and often troubles us. And I’ve found that our seventh sense — our spiritual sense — helps me put into practice my sense of humor, while giving me confidence that better days are within reach.
Being spiritually lighthearted means placing the burdens of life where they belong — on the shoulders of our Father-Mother God, who truly does make all burdens light by pointing us upward and making our days bright with infinite possibilities. God wants only good for His precious children and will lead us to the dry ground where we can continue our journey with sure footing. In the words of the Psalmist, “…when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I” (Psalms 61:2). And God will lead us, as I believe he is apparently leading the man with the flooded house.
Nothing saps our energy more than the time and focus we put into coping with life’s problems. I’ve found that humor can lighten our burdens and help us keep things in perspective. Laughter can enable a person to look at a problem from a different point of view and make the problem seem less formidable. Consequently, this lighter view provides opportunities for greater objectivity and insight. Yes, humor can adjust the meaning of an event so that it is not so overwhelming. In fact, humor can help reveal that small things are not the earthshaking events they sometimes seem to be. I’ve found this to be true myself many times, helping me turn my anger at something my hubby said or did into laughter.
Interestingly enough, I only recently learned there was such a thing as laughter therapy. Apparently, a number of medical studies are concluding that laughter just may be the best medicine. Many studies say that a good, hearty laugh can reduce stress, decrease pain, lower blood pressure, elevate mood, boost the immune system, increase job performance, protect the heart, connect people emotionally, foster instant relaxation, dissolve anger, give hope and make you feel good — as well as provide the glue for a good marriage. Most studies agree that by loosening up a bit, we can undo some of the stress we face in our everyday lives.
Perhaps as we laugh to lighten our own burdens, we also lighten those of everyone we meet. After witnessing one man’s lightheartedness in the midst of his struggles, I found that my own sadness and frustrations from dealing with problems and challenges were replaced with the ability to see a brighter side that is now moving me in a direction toward positive change and healing. So I will do my best to remember that even in the most difficult of times, a laugh, or even simply a smile, can go a long way in helping us, and others, to feel better.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
June 6, 1944, is famously known as “D-day,” which marked the day during World War II that the Battle of Normandy began, commencing the Western Allied effort to liberate mainland Europe from Nazi occupation. President Franklin D. Roosevelt described that June day to Americans as a “mighty endeavor” — an effort “to preserve … our civilization and to set free a suffering humanity.”
In military terms, “D-day” denotes the day on which a combat attack or operation is to be initiated. Its broader, general definition and usage designates the day that some significant event will occur or has occurred.
No doubt, each of our lives has been filled with significant events that have shaped us into who we are today. Perhaps these events are positive or negative in and of themselves, but nevertheless, they have become momentous and transforming landmarks in our life journeys.
Jesus had his share of “D-days,” as well. I think one was that day in a Nazareth synagogue when he read from the book of the prophet Esaias (Isaiah): “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord” (Luke 4:18-19). Then, after closing the book, he announced, “This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears” (Luke 4:21).
This bold and public announcement, it seems to me, marked his commitment to the mission he would go about fulfilling in the next three years of his life — a mission that is still revolutionizing humanity today.
Sometimes “D-days” are planned and expected and sometimes not. A “D-day,” for example, could be the day you got married or your child was born, the day a loved one passed on or you lost your job, the day you moved to a new city or graduated from college, the day you bought your first house or the day a hurricane destroyed it. Whether planned or not, days like this change your life or the course of your life in some dramatic way.
A “D-day” might also be the day you reached a major decision, gleaned a life-altering revelation, experienced or witnessed healing. I often like to imagine not only the many people who were healed by Jesus but also the impact on the folks who witnessed those healings. Such as the time Jesus healed a man lying on his bed, sick of the palsy. After Jesus healed him, we read, “But when the multitudes saw it, they marveled, and glorified God, which had given such power unto men” (Matthew 9:8). I know myself, when I see or read of healings through prayer and divine revelation experienced by others, I am filled with hope, and my faith, confidence and expectancy of healing in my own experience become emboldened and reassured.
It seems many of my most memorable “D-days” are ones that were my mightiest trials. Yes, it’s been my challenges and heartbreaks that, quickly or eventually, pointed me in a Godward direction toward healing solutions. Again and again, I’ve learned that trials are overcome more readily with a divine staff in hand.
I’ve come to think of trials as temptations to believe that God is both good and evil or that God creates and sends evil or purposefully wants His children to be inflicted by evil. But we read in the book of James, “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man” (James 1:13). So I’ve come to think of trials — however bad — as opportunities to conquer the seeming power of evil and prove it powerless in my life. The most difficult trials in my life journey are the ones that have prompted epoch-marking stages of growth and progress.
When faced with “D-days” we haven’t planned or wanted, we may exclaim, “Why, Lord?” In such times, I find encouragement in the fact that even Jesus had to face temptations. We read in the book of Matthew of Jesus being “tempted by the devil” in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11). Each time Jesus was confronted with a temptation, he immediately refuted it with a spiritual law of God.
We can do the same ourselves, when we’re faced with a temptation that suggests evil as a power and that we’re defenseless or helpless. Acknowledging and affirming the omnipotence and omnipresence of God’s law and word can enable us to defeat any evil temptation, just as Jesus did.
What I love most in reading about the temptations Jesus encountered and mastered is that after he had clearly won his battle, “angels came and ministered unto him.” It’s encouraging to know that when we grapple with our own temptations and prevail over them, we will have God’s angel messages of comfort and strength lifting us and sustaining us.
There’s a passage in the book of James which buoys my courage for any future unsought “D-days.” And Mary Baker Eddy’s definition of two words in this passage enhances its meaning. “Blessed is the man that endureth (overcometh) temptation: for when he is tried (proved faithful), he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him” (James 1:12).
Whatever the “D-days” in our lives, I think these monumental days become waymarks that guide us onward toward understanding the truth of our spirituality. And this truth liberates us from any evil trying to occupy our mind, body and spirit.
Oct 14, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
A news report describing a recent university study published in the July 2007 journal Developmental Psychology caught my attention. The study concluded that although excessive discussion about problems may strengthen friendship, it takes an emotional toll that can result in depression, and more so on girls than boys. Apparently, girls are more likely than boys to mull and worry endlessly over just about everything imaginable.
These results didn’t surprise me. I’ve never found it helpful to relive and rehash the mistakes, behavior and past actions of myself or those of anyone else. In the same light, I’ve never found inspiration and encouragement by time spent speculating over what-ifs. And yet, it’s impossible to count the immeasurable number of hours I’ve spent with girlfriends probing and analyzing for naught or thinking to myself in futile contemplation.
I eventually discovered that this type of venting and brooding created a vicious cycle of replaying unwanted memories. Guilt, anger and despair can feel overwhelming. We certainly don’t want to keep these feelings bottled up and festering. But we also don’t want to perpetuate these emotions.
The whole point of bringing such feelings to the surface is for the purpose of feeling better — healing, resolution, growing and progressing. So, a helpful and productive discussion about problems, challenges, disappointments, and so forth, is one that helps us be honest with ourselves and lifts us out of and moves us beyond painful pasts and remembrances.
My favorite biblical example of someone who didn’t waste time ruminating is Saul of Tarsus, also known as Paul. For some time Paul was a harsh persecutor of those who preached Christ, but he had an experience that changed his outlook and ambition to a spiritual course. In his case, dwelling on his many mistakes could have entangled his thoughts and emotions into an eternity of guilt. But the Bible says, “and straightway he preached Christ in the synagogues” (Acts 9:20).
Undoubtedly, we’ve all had times when we wish we could rewind the tape and delete undesirable scenes and start over. Whatever your sad story may be, the imprint of bad memories can vanish as quickly as the ocean washes away footprints in wet sand. Perhaps you’re thinking, “If only … ”
There are several passages in the Book of Psalms that I now turn to when I need to silence bad dreams, bad memories or dark forebodings. First the question is asked, “Whither shall I go from thy spirit?” (Psalm 139:7). Then the next few lines present dreary scenarios, such as making my bed in hell or dwelling in the uttermost parts of the sea or the darkest of night (Psalm 139:8-9). In every situation, I am assured of God’s presence: “thou are there … even there shall thy hand lead me … even the night shall be light about me” (Psalm 139:8-11).
Reminding myself that God is a constant companion — that I’m never alone — is comforting. And it’s a relief to remind myself that His love for me is unconditional and infinite. This type of communing seems to require that I enter into my prayer closet where I can shut the door to disturbing images, fears and worries and refresh my troubled heart with a spiritual view. Asking myself what God knows, sees or thinks enables me to find the spiritual view that can see beyond excited, anxious and disturbing emotions.
God understands and knows our needs, whether we voice them or not. Again, the Psalmist wrote, “Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off” (Psalms 139:2). We can relieve our minds from depressing thoughts as we reassure ourselves with the presence of God’s love and guidance. We can mentally contradict and protest every dark image in our thoughts with the light of what God is thinking for his precious children right now. As Jeremiah wrote, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil … ” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Don’t let unwanted memories become ghosts that haunt you the rest of your life. Yes, confront them. Then — dismiss them, banish them, reject and disown them. Simply blot them out with God’s all-encompassing love. Defend yourself from anything that would weigh you down and keep you from moving forward on your life path. God is your best and forever friend who is always listening and ready to give the best advice in every situation.
