Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
It was a day that would not be forgotten. One of those unsuspecting defining moments that touched my life. I saw movies most every weekend, but Star Wars would be unlike any movie I had ever seen before.
In 1977, I was a freshman in college. My interests were boys and having fun. That was pretty much it. At that point in time, I can’t say education or career were high priorities. Nor were things spiritual. I probably went to see Star Wars swept up by the anticipation hype of the day with my friends. All I know is I saw it not once, not twice. But dozens of times.
In Bill Moyer’s interview of George Lucas, Lucas said he hoped the Force would “awaken a certain kind of spirituality in young people.” One that was more about a “belief in God than a belief in any particular religious system.” One that would simply make young people think, question and consider. Well, his hope proved true for me.
Some have asked if the prequels have attracted the same audiences as the original Trilogy. If you count me, I suppose the answer would be, “Yes!” And I admit I’ve been among those trying to be first in line. Along with my daughter, I might add.
It was interesting that Lucas gave us the middle and end of the story before going back to the beginning of the saga. After recently watching Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (My daughter and I were first in line), I’ve decided I’m glad I knew the rest of the story. It would have been too depressing to watch Anakin Skywalker seduced by evil, by the dark side, and not be assured of his later redemption.
And now the long awaited answer to the decades old question has been provided. How Anakin Skywalker transformed into Darth Vader.
Perhaps Anakin’s greatest flaw was fear. He became intoxicated by fear. Thus he was led to believe and do that which he should not, would not. As he succumbed to his fear, his doom was sealed.
But in witnessing Anakin’s “fall,” I was immediately relieved and heartened by knowing he would be redeemed. His “fall” would not be the final chapter of his life. I find great hope in Anakin’s example. The hope that promises no one is beyond help, that it’s never too late to change. The same kind of promise felt in the prodigal son parable told by Christ Jesus.
I can honestly say in 1977, it was the first Star Wars episode that prompted me to think more spiritually and broadened my perceptions to consider how one action begets another. That reminded me of the Higher Power that unifies all creation. That all of creation has a purpose. And that included me!
As a result, I became more studious of things spiritual and interested in reading books by spiritual thinkers. This included spiritual thinker and author, Mary Baker Eddy. She was speaking of Galileo, but Eddy’s words ring true of Anakin’s fall: “This awful price: the temporary loss of his self-respect. His fear overcame his loyalty; the courage of his convictions fell before it.” She elsewhere states, “A man’s fear, unconquered, conquers him, in whatever direction.”
If fear is one answer to the question – What makes man evil? – perhaps love is the answer to the question of redemption. Love was certainly central to Anakin’s redemption.
So for me, Star Wars is much more than a mere tale of science fiction. It appears that through his films, Lucas’ own spiritual vision has had a profound effect on two generations of spiritual seekers. Of which I am one.
Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Why bother making new year’s resolutions? After all, the odds are that you’ll fail to achieve them.
According to Self Magazine, 39% of women and 32% of men will make new year’s resolutions and almost twice those numbers will indeed break them after a month.
How you answer a single question could hold the key to actually accomplishing your new year’s resolutions or true desires.
Imagine a Christmas gift.
I bought it for my future son-in-law who had just graduated from college and was beginning his career. Then I bought it for my niece who had recently divorced and was looking for a new job. It’s a little gift that asks a powerful question that I think could change lives.
It was a pewter paperweight with the inscription, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” And the words have not ceased to replay in my head.
I’ve been thinking about how many times throughout my life fear of failure paralyzed my actions. In elementary school, when softball was the sport of the day, I would keep sneaking to the end of the line to avoid going to bat. In high school, I never auditioned for parts in the school musical productions. In college, I wouldn’t raise my hand and avoided making eye contact with professors during class discussions.
And what does this question mean to me today? My only child is a college grad, married and living in another state. I’ve resigned from a long-time occupation. I’m asking myself, what I would attempt to do if I knew I could not fail, and I wonder as I consider the possibilities.
Movies instruct me sometimes.
One was the 1987 movie titled “Stand and Deliver”. Edward James Olmos played Jaime Escalante, the real-life teacher who motivated his students through the power of possibility thinking. He guided a group of undervalued students to unparalleled levels of success by focusing on their potential rather than his students’ past limitations. The film illustrated that through confidence and determination nothing is too daunting. He told his students all they needed to achieve their goal was “ganas” – which he defined as the “desire” to achieve.
Is it really possible for me to attempt new career goals? Is it ever too late? Could I be too old to start anew?
And “heavy” on my heart are the questions – can I really lose enough weight to get back into clothes worn fifteen years ago? Or even five years ago? What is it that has been keeping me from trying?
One of my favorite authors, Mary Baker Eddy, wrote, “Our thoughts beget our actions; they make us what we are.” I wonder how often fear of failure held me back. Made me avoid new situations and experiences. Kept me from reaching my full potential. Stopped me from even trying to accomplish my dreams.
This reminds me of another movie.
The 1980 Star Wars movie, “The Empire Strikes Back.” When asked to raise his sunken starfighter from the Dagobah swamps, Luke Skywalker responded he would try. “No,” scolded Yoda. “Do or do not. There is no try.” But Luke was not certain the Force could lift such a massive object. He failed. Yet Yoda, using the Force, did lift the x-wing fighter and place it on dry land. Luke exclaimed, “I don’t believe it.” And Yoda stated, “That is why you fail.” Mary Baker Eddy said it this way, “It is insincerity and a half-persuaded faith that fail to succeed and fall to the earth.”
My life has not been without failures. As I now reflect on these experiences, I see that each of those situations carried with it the seed for success. They required that I take what I learned and move forward. They required a new viewpoint. Instead of dwelling on a perceived mistake as a failure, looking at it as the outcome of an action, a decision, a choice. Changing an outcome required taking a different action. I’ve found success in this way before. I can again.
So, here’s my new year game plan.
Don’t let fear incapacitate me. Take bold, decisive actions. Persist. Keep trying. Try different approaches. Don’t take failures personally. Know failure is not a character trait, only an outcome. Don’t let discouragement take hold. Do things differently until I get the results I want. See failures as opportunities to learn and find the key to success. Be a possibility thinker. Find my child-like spirit with its unstoppable and boundless curiosity. Be more forgiving towards myself. Enjoy new challenges. Develop new talents. Have faith in my abilities. Be confident. Determined. Committed to the pursuit of my goals. Enjoy the ride as much as the destination.
Those thirteen words, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” have inspired me with a “can do” attitude. They have pointed me toward a Higher Power that is helping me replace fear and uncertainty with courage and assurance of success. How can I fail?
Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2006. All rights reserved.
“You have your daddy’s temper,” I was told growing up. After my dad passed on when I was 10 years old, I remember my mom saying, “I think he spent most of his life mad about something.”
I didn’t want to get angry so easily, but for years I couldn’t help myself. A sociologist might say I was trapped in a cycle of temper and abuse—a behavior learned from my family environment. I recall many a time when I screamed such horrible words I would be filled with regret afterwards. I also slammed doors, stormed off, or threw whatever was in my reach. Again and again after such uncontrollable outbursts, I felt sorry and ashamed.
Those words, “You have your daddy’s temper,” replayed in my head every time I got mad. I had accepted those five words as part of my identity. And because of this, I felt I had an excuse for my uncontrollable temper.
I became aware of how spirituality shapes my life.
Around the same time as my dad’s passing, I was introduced to the Christian Science Weekly Bible Lesson that led me to find the book, Science and Health. (You can find the Internet version of the lesson on this Web site. See link below.) Over the course of the next 30 years, I became aware of how spirituality shapes my life. Studying and pondering spiritual ideas slowly transformed my self-concept. I gained an improved understanding of my heritage and parentage. I learned of the infinite power of God. And I learned I could turn to God for help with any situation.
I no longer felt helpless, fearful or hopeless when confronted with challenges. I gained confidence in spiritual answers and developed an expectancy of positive, healing results.
But with all I was learning, with all I had overcome and witnessed, I still couldn’t control my temper. Although the abusive nature of my angry outbursts did diminish over these years, it still plagued me occasionally. Actually, I think I was still accepting temper as a response in which I had no choice. There were other feelings that also fueled my temper—feelings of aggravation, impatience and frustration.
I didn’t want to be a willful person.
Not long ago, a friend gave me a definition of frustration that has stayed with me. She defined frustration as, “unsatisfied self-will.” Since there were many things causing me frustration (or so I thought), it was disturbing to think I was perhaps being willful. I felt justified when my anger was a result of being frustrated by the behavior of someone else. The idea of being willful was putting responsibility on my own shoulders. I didn’t want to be a willful person. My love for God was such that I truly wanted to follow His will and not my own.
I found in my study of Science and Health that Mary Baker Eddy warns of the misleading human will. I began to wonder if my view of people or perception of situations as frustrating and annoying was confusing my ability to behave appropriately.
Eddy speaks of freedom of choice in how we think and act, and instructs us how to make decisions that lead to good results. She reminds us we have responsibility for our thoughts and actions. And she helps us see how our thoughts determine our actions. I love, in Science and Health, her analogy about a sculptor. Eddy writes, “The sculptor turns from the marble to his model in order to perfect his conception. We are all sculptors, working at various forms, moulding and chiseling thought. What is the model before mortal mind? Is it imperfection, joy, sorrow, sin, suffering? Have you accepted the mortal model? Are you reproducing it
I had to choose a new model.
Well, yes! I had certainly accepted a model of abusive and uncontrollable temper for myself and was reproducing it again and again in my life.
In recent years, I have become determined to take responsibility for my thoughts and actions and no longer allow uncontrollable outbursts or reactions to disrupt the harmony of my life and those around me. To do this, I had to choose a new model—the woman God created. One who is poised, full of grace, patient, composed, just, gentle and loving. And I’ve been pretty successful, for the first time in my life, at controlling my temper. Sound too easy?
Honestly, it’s been easier than I imagined it could be or thought possible. It has required pausing before every action for a prayerful examination of thoughts and motives. It’s been amazing to see the powerful effect of these momentary prayers. I can’t say that I never forget to take these prayerful pauses and never ever get angry about anything. But I can’t even remember when I lost my temper in an uncontrollable rage. In fact, it truly feels impossible for that to happen now.
The cycle of abusive temper has been broken.
Asking God for direction on every thought and action doesn’t require a lot of time. In fact, the answer comes as quickly as I pause.
My husband, John, and I just celebrated our 23rd anniversary. And I don’t think that would have happened if I had not chosen a new model of behavior for my life. In the early years of our marriage, it would not have been unusual for me to completely and irrationally lose my temper, often throwing something or being quite abusive in my speech. And back then, it didn’t take much to make me mad. Now those days are truly gone. It’s actually really difficult for me to even feel uncontrollable anger. And if I am confronted with a hint of those feelings, a “prayer pause” gets my thoughts clearly and accurately focused on the issue at hand and a temper fit is never the appropriate response.
Speaking about this with a friend, John said, “Annette has truly taken control of her temper. Her lack of control in our early years of marriage is gone. I believe her change came as a result of realizing the damaging effects of her actions. Also, in motherhood she saw the need to raise our child in a calm atmosphere, or else the negative would perpetuate itself.” He also attributed my change to what he refers to as a “fresh commitment to the study of Science and Health.”
The cycle of abusive temper has been broken. It has become easier and easier to make the right and appropriate choices of behavior. God doesn’t leave us at the mercy of evil to confuse and misguide us in our behavior and actions. God is always with us at every moment to guide us down the right path.
