Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
The season of Thanksgiving is upon us. This means sales to the Hallmark Card Company.
Annually, sales of thank-you notes spike in December and January, undoubtedly fueled by the 58% of moms, who according to the Hallmark Research Department, actively teach their children to write notes of appreciation for gifts they’ve received from family and friends.
My mom taught me thanking others in some tangible way is having good manners. Certainly, we appreciate kindnesses shown to us. But is that all there is to gratitude – being grateful when something good happens or for how much good we have?
What about when things don’t go our way? When we’re having a bad day? When we’re going through difficult times? When we’re stressed, anxious or sad? Where is our gratitude then? Perhaps we’ve become too dependent on outer circumstances, allowing them to dictate how we feel rather than the other way around.
Suppose gratitude is not merely a passing sentiment. Maybe gratitude is not so much about what happens to us, but more about how we happen to the world around us.
Consider gratitude as an attitude, a point of view and a state of being. With gratitude as the premise for every thought, feeling and action, how would your day change? Do you doubt that your mental state impacts everything and everyone around you?
One Christmas, my daughter gave me a magnet inscribed, “If Mamma Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy.” We laughed about it, but actually, that magnet expressed how she felt. I started realizing how my attitude affected my entire home. Certainly, my attitude influenced my actions, my mood, my tone of voice. And consequently, my attitude impacted every member of the family, day by day, for better or worse.
I soon learned that my attitude didn’t just influence my family. You can test this for yourself. Walk into a store or work or a meeting. Think happy thoughts. Count your blessings. Hum your favorite song. Smile. Walk confidently with joy in each step. And watch the people around you. See how they respond.
Then try the reverse. This time think unhappy, miserable thoughts. Grumble to yourself. Slouch. Drag your feet. Frown. And watch those around you. I bet they run for cover and avoid even making eye contact with you!
I’ve found gratitude to be an unlimited and infinite resource. A wellspring that never runs dry. A resource that is available in any and every moment. And I’ve found that gratitude can transform even the most desperate of situations into one of hope, optimism, and certainty of a better and brighter day. How can we live in a state of joyful expectation?
A grateful heart begins with the moment. This moment. Make a conscious choice to be present in the moment. Get off automatic pilot. Think about what you’re doing, what’s happening around you. Ask yourself, do you feel gratitude right now in this moment? There is always something to appreciate even in the worst of times. I found these helpful words in a book called, Moments of Gratitude: Quotations from Mary Baker Eddy: “Hold to the presence of all good in which you live and have being.” No matter what the situation or circumstance, we can acknowledge, expect and witness good in our life.
So I’ve started to begin each day with recognizing the good that is present. Waking up with a grateful heart, helps me see the good around me. Making gratitude a daily practice will change your life. It has mine. What can gratitude do for you?
Gratitude can quiet anxiety. Relieve stress. Soften anger. Make you feel lighter, happier.
Gratitude will lift you up. Build you up. Strengthen you. Nourish you. Sustain you. Comfort you.
Gratitude eases worry. Brings clarity of mind. Helps you forgive. Affirms that good is stronger than evil. Assures all is well, all will be well. With a grateful heart, you can handle anything that comes your way.
Gratitude gives you a zest for living. Enables you to savor everything life puts before you. Helps you see your life as a gift instead of overworked, mundane, or burdensome. You’ll find contentment. Satisfaction.
Gratitude makes you feel blessed. And impels you to bless others.
So great is the power of gratitude. And endless are the reasons for thanks-giving during this holiday season and in every moment of every day of the year.
Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
“The supreme purpose of history is a better world,” spoke former President, Herbert Hoover. If this is true, what happens when history is not recorded correctly or if we stop studying history? How can lessons be learned from the past that lead us toward a better world without study of uncompromised narratives of those lessons?
We’re living in an age when making informed decisions is of paramount importance. The months ahead are no exception. How to stabilize Iraq? How to continue to effectively fight the war on terrorism at home and abroad? And Americans continue to move closer to making the decision of whether to re-elect their current President or elect a new one.
Can an understanding of our history help us make present and future decisions?
In a recent interview with historian David McCullough, The Christian Science Monitor provided some startling information about American’s lack of historic knowledge. (“Not yet forgotten, the ‘greatest generation’ finally set in stone,” May 27, 2004) In fact, historians say that knowledge of the past has always been a weak area for Americans and asserted that such lapses are dangerous. McCullough said, “If people don’t know who we are or how we got to where we are at what cost or struggle, then they are going to place much less value on it all.” My concern is that without valuing knowledge of our past and the lessons it has taught us, how can we keep from repeating the same lessons and at what cost? How do we make progress?
This same article spoke of history being rewritten in textbooks that are leaving out important contexts for events or that are placing an emphasis on select aspects of historic accounts that shifts thought away from understanding the big picture. This type of biased recording of history could make true British author, CK Chesterton’s words, “We can be almost certain of being wrong about the future, if we are wrong about the past.”
What if the study of history was no longer part of the education of young Americans? I was stunned to learn that none of the top 50 U.S. colleges or universities now requires American history to graduate. How can the next generation of leaders be prepared to make wise decisions that not only impact the future of America but impact all of humanity, without a solid knowledge of our history?
Of course, I do believe a better world requires more than history recorded accurately and its study. I agree that lessons learned from our past, influences decisions we make today and tomorrow. Each step we take can be a building block to a secure future. Even when we think we have made a mistake. Mary Baker Eddy, a woman whose own history speaks to many people today about breaking through seemingly impossible barriers, offers this promise: “Experience is the victor, never the vanquished; and out of defeat comes the secret of victory. That to-morrow starts from to-day and is one day beyond it, robes the future with hope’s rainbow hues.”
But I think we also need a vision for the future. Eddy advises, “When the destination is desirable, expectation speeds our progress.” Perhaps expectation is required to keep us moving forward, no matter how slow we must walk in order to reach our desired destination. Expectation helps us maintain confidence and confidence keeps us from retracing our steps. I’m not sure knowledge of our history alone would be sufficient.
And what is the desired destination for our world? What constitutes a better world?
In writing The Declaration of Independence, our forefathers perhaps have given the best answers for all times and for all peoples. Not outlining democracy as an end destination, but as ideals to be continuously perfected, practiced and implemented:
A world that believes all men and women are created equal.
A world that asserts all people are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
A world where governments are instituted among men and women, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.
But even our founding fathers didn’t think of everything. Certainly, the Constitution of the United States and The Bill of Rights has continued to be amended throughout our 228 year history.
Our history came with a great price. Let us not forget that price or the future may cost us more than we can afford. Yet, as I reflect on each milestone of progress the United States has struggled to achieve, I suddenly have much greater patience and expectation of a brighter tomorrow for us, Iraq, and other peoples of the world. Thanks to the history of America, I see the promise of a better world.
Oct 13, 2006 |
As I sit in front of my television watching President Reagan’s flag-draped coffin being lifted into an airplane, I am swept back thirty-five years ago to when my dad’s flag-draped coffin was carried. At the time of my dad’s passing, he had spent almost half of his short life in military service.
Some may wonder why we’re having all the pomp and circumstance surrounding the death of our 40th president. But I think it’s a good thing. It’s reminding me of the high calling of the presidency – the selfless responsibilities of that office. As I reflect on the service of President Reagan to this country, I am in awe that a successful businessman and actor such as he would want to devote the latter years of his life in government leadership. Especially in a job that is frequently ridiculed and often unappreciated.
I love how Jeanne Kirkpatrick, his national security adviser, once summed him up. “Ronald Wilson Reagan, 40th president of the United States, believed the American dream because he has lived it.”
President Reagan was also a father. He expressed his beliefs in family values during his presidency. However, the reality of his father-children relationship was not a perfect one.
This also describes my relationship with my dad. I had a short time with my dad as he passed away when I was only 10 years old; about a year after my mom divorced him. I’ve spent most of the past thirty-five years remembering the not-so-perfect things about my dad. As I sit here reflecting on the contributions of President Reagan to this country and the world, I am being pushed to give pause to my dad. Maybe it’s time I give my dad his due.
Desmond Tutu said about family, “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” Honestly, I’ve not thought about my dad as a gift from God to me. Sad and unhappy memories have too long blurred my mind from recognizing how my dad contributed to who I am today. Even difficult experiences teach us, shape us and often transform us and help direct us to a better road for our life journey. Or even what we might think of as a bad example points us unintentionally in the direction to look for a good model.
I recently read one of those cute little gift books called “For Father with Love” that my daughter gave to my husband years ago. I noted some of the many honors being attributed to dads such as how dads teach us about the world and our place in it. How dads help us with the choices we make. Impart their values. Encourage us to be our own person. To be bold. Trust our intuition. Be confident of our abilities. How dads teach us right from wrong. This little book also noted that often their guidance is indirect, too.
My dad has had an indirect impact on my life choices, decisions, and values, even though he has not been a present role model for most of my life. And I do have fond memories. I just hadn’t given them thought in a long time. I love how he always wore a hat. He loved to cook. He taught me a song we often sang together when driving in the car. He bought me my first baritone uke. He let me help him mix concrete when he was building a brick wall around our patio. And I loved to be in his arms watching TV. I always felt safe and loved.
The course of our lives are influenced by values we embrace, ideas we learn, people we interact with, and the many experiences that teach us lessons impelling us to make progress and grow. And our lives are shaped by those we elect to lead our nation.
Today, I honor my dad and what I’ve learned directly and indirectly from him being part of my life journey.
But today I also honor each and every president of the United States of America; past, present and yet to come. And I share the sentiments expressed by Mary Baker Eddy in a tribute she wrote about President McKinley at his passing. “She (our nation) stops to think, to mourn, yea, to pray, that the God of harvests send her more laborers, who, while they work for their own country, shall sacredly regard the liberty of other peoples and the rights of man.” Thank you, President Reagan, for being one of these laborers.
Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. ©2006. All rights reserved.
Service to this country through the armed forces has long been a choice made by many members of my family – my dad, two of my brothers, my uncle (who lost a leg in WWII), my father-in-law and currently, my son-in-law. I have great respect, admiration and gratitude for all who have made the choice to protect and preserve peace and freedom for all mankind.
Recently, I was humbled to learn about Pat Tillman’s choice to give up a lucrative football career to become an Army Ranger. His ultimate sacrifice has caused me to think about the purpose of Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day or Armed Forces Day. Why do we build monuments or designate days of honor?
Perhaps we need reminders of important events and people that have taught us invaluable lessons. Perhaps commemorating honorable acts encourages us to live that way in our daily activities.
For my family, Memorial Day has been a celebration of the end of the school year, completion of another year of dance lessons and the beginning of summer vacation. Honestly, I didn’t know the history of Memorial Day until doing an internet search.
Memorial Day was officially proclaimed in 1868 when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. It wasn’t until after WWI that the day was changed to honor all American soldiers who died. More recently in 2000, the National Moment of Remembrance resolution was passed to remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day.
So, I’m taking a moment now to remember the courage and sacrifice of the United States military. Soldiers and their families make enormous sacrifices for the security of our nation and freedom throughout the world. I’m proud and grateful of the few that chose this path.
Mary Baker Eddy, a 19th century author and spiritual thinker who devoted her life to the service of helping those who sought healing and freedom from illness, made this profound statement: “The character and lives of men determine the peace, prosperity and life of nations.” As I appreciate the dedication and selfless commitment of these individuals, I consider how the choices I make in life impact others – my family, my community, and consequently, my nation. Perhaps we do all have a role in the peace, prosperity and life of our nation. Or at least some part of it.
I have a choice in what I think, what I believe, how I perceive, how I interpret. These choices result in a response, action, decision, and conclusion. They make me who I am. Maybe I make a difference in the world, in my country, by how I live my life.
President John F. Kennedy’s famous call to service comes to mind when he declared, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”
Some of us will serve our country in military duty.
Some of us will serve our country in volunteerism and community service.
Some of us will serve our country in government leadership.
But all of us serve our country by our character and lives. We have choices to make. Let’s make good ones.
Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
“If mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” I laughed about this at the time, but these words on the magnet I got for Christmas 1998 from my daughter, Jennifer, really described how she felt.
In fact, recently, she told me, “It was more of a joke than anything. But it was true that when you used to cry or become irrational about something, it affected the happiness of my day as well.”
My New Year’s resolution was to change this cycle.
Honestly, her mamma was not too happy in those days. I could have used that magnet to tack up a long list of gripes including being depressed that I was not able to have more children, and dissatisfied with the old house we were living in, and wanting to move—or burn it down. On top of that, we were living next door to my in-laws—enough said.
And yet, my New Year’s resolution that year was to change this cycle. I began to acknowledge that there is always something to appreciate, even in the worst of times. That a grateful heart begins with the present moment. That I could be grateful for goodness itself, regardless of what was happening.
I made some progress during the next few years, but I needed something more to help me maintain my improved attitude. I needed to understand more about the source of gratitude, lasting happiness and peace of mind. I believe that the source of all good is God, so I turned there in prayer to find the answers.
Good is all that was going on.
My prayers in the intervening years brought me to a book of quotes by Mary Baker Eddy called Moments of Gratitude. I read, “Hold to the presence of all good in which you live and have being.” This helped me see that no matter what the situation, I could acknowledge, expect and witness good in my life—in fact, good is all that was going on.
I decided to begin each day by recognizing the presence of good, God, in my life. Waking up with a grateful heart helped me see the good around me. This new attitude gradually transformed my days, until I no longer felt impatient, frustrated or depressed. In fact, my daughter told a friend, “The change in my mom was gradual over the years. I just think one day she decided to make a change in her life and began to grow in happiness from that point on.”
I cherish the many moments in my days.
Though my circumstances haven’t changed, what’s different now is the way I think about my life. For instance, I saw my house with fresh eyes, started a remodeling project and now can’t imagine living anywhere else. And the in-laws next door? I’m grateful for the years my daughter was able to grow up just steps from her grandparents.
And although I never had more children, I no longer feel I have been deprived. Gratitude for the very special relationship I have with my daughter, and all of my loved ones, has filled me full.
These days my life is calmer. I cherish the many moments in my days. And I find I want to bless others in whatever way I can.
