Oct 27, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
I asked some friends to join me in writing a Christmas love note to you. Whether you’re surrounded by family or alone this Christmas, we hope you know you’re never completely alone, because your Father-Mother God is ever by your side — ready to help, guide and give you strength, support and wisdom. He has an endless supply of healing balm for wounded and weary hearts. And you, my friends, are so very loved and precious in His sight.
Perhaps you’re feeling like Charlie Brown when he lamented, “I just don’t understand Christmas. Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down.”
We don’t know why Charlie Brown had these feelings. He might have lost a parent or had a friend who moved far away or maybe a brother deployed overseas or perhaps he was snubbed once again by the little redheaded girl. Like Charlie Brown, some people find the holiday season to be a difficult time — one of sadness and loneliness, self-evaluation and reflection about the past, or anxiety about the future.
For someone grieving over a loss or struggling with memories of holidays past and loved ones no longer present, Christmas may not feel very merry. A dear friend of mine emailed me recently to say her precious mother had passed on. And I’m trying to find some words of comfort to share when I call her.
Mostly, I want her to know how much I love and cherish her friendship, and I want to tell her I’m here if she needs me in any way. I hope she and everyone will find some encouraging and strengthening words in the love notes that follow:
— — —
Christmas is so much more than a time, word, gift or season … it’s a power. And it’s found right where you are — this moment. Christmas blooms as we step aside and let Love shine. Love’s light is here for all of us. Feel it, dear heart. Feel it in quiet, and find it in loving.
Your friend,
Becky
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This Christmas all three of my daughters will be with their birth mothers. You may think this would leave me feeling sad or empty, but it is the greatest gift that anyone could have given me. It means that I have learned to let go and have taught my daughters how to love expansively. Each of their birth mothers is a young woman I believe in and am so grateful to. Each of them gave me the greatest gifts of my life — my daughters to love and cherish. Sharing them this Christmas is a special joy. May each of your readers find joy in expanding their definition of family through the spirit of adoption.
With Love,
Kate
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The holidays are a time of great joy — and sometimes of a sweet sadness, too, for those who have transitioned on. I’m grateful for all the feelings, because that’s what makes us feel truly alive.
Love,
Bob
— — —
The thing I realize most about Christmas is that it isn’t once a year — it’s every day. Every day has opportunities for giving and receiving, loving and cherishing. I try to open my consciousness to receive the Christ and see the Christ in everyone I meet. Sure, the annual celebration is a huge event, and sometimes it seems too much, but celebrating it each day helps us cancel out the overwhelmingness of it all. And each day you receive a present — God’s love.
Much love,
Bill
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Our family celebration has changed over the years as our children have started their own families and traditions. For the past five or so years, John and I have invited our friends or friends of friends who have no family in the area, or who are single or alone for one reason or another, to spend Christmas with us. We call it our Christmas of giving. We have had anywhere from one to five or six people sitting down with us on Christmas Day. John and I love this holiday tradition as much as our friends do.
Love,
Sandy
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“Christmas Love” is an everlasting love. It’s really with us every day as we shine forth God’s Love. You will see it and feel it around you. Your loved ones become nearer and dearer than ever, as you see the glory of God expressed in simple ways, even with the sunrise. The love of the Christ is loving you, and you are basking in that Christly Love as you watch Christmas candles and lights glow. So let the Christ light shine through you, dear one. Nothing can stop the Christ from lighting the way for you.
With Christly Love,
Barbara
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I heard someone mention that when we need healing, we can place our thought in the manger of Christ. There we find Joseph’s strength and protection, Mary’s love and peace, and the Christ’s promise of healing and salvation for all. So this message of love is for all mankind to feel that peaceful and blessed place.
Love,
Martha
— — —
All of these tender messages remind me that friends are one of the greatest of God’s gifts to his children. We may have never met before, but we are friends embraced together by a loving and caring God.
Imagine a world where we know that we are all friends, and we treat each other as such — with love, with peace and with good will.
Merry Christmas, friend!
Oct 27, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
I’ve always encouraged our daughter to question and probe into any and every subject. No topic was off limits, including those that I hold most dear as well as those I strongly oppose. As a parent, I admit it has not been easy to have my child debate my deeply cherished and respected values. But the debates — and there were many — helped me clarify and understand better the basis for my values and opinions. And I hope encouraged her development as an independent thinker!
At age 24, Jennifer Gamel recently completed her master’s thesis. As a young woman who reads widely and goes to see the latest movies, she was, I thought, the right person to ask about the controversy and concerns surrounding the upcoming release of the film “The Golden Compass” — since I’ve yet to read Phillip Pullman’s trilogy myself, and she has. Here are my questions and Jennifer’s responses:
How would you respond to someone describing “The Golden Compass” as “sugar-coated atheism”?
I would cautiously disagree. I don’t believe this book, the first in Philip Pullman’s “His Dark Materials” trilogy, has an atheist agenda. Since Pullman is a vocal atheist, individuals are perhaps afraid his views will taint his writing, but as those of us who have read his books will attest, they are extremely thought-provoking — even spiritual — books.
Pullman himself has responded to similar questions: “In the world of the story — Lyra’s world — there is a church that has acquired great political power, rather in the way that some religions in our world have done at various times, and still do (think of the Taliban in Afghanistan). My point is that religion is at its best — it does most good — when it is farthest away from political power, and that when it gets hold of the power to (for example) send armies to war or to condemn people to death, or to rule every aspect of our lives, it rapidly goes bad. Sometimes people think that if something is done in the name of faith or religion, it must be good. Unfortunately, that isn’t true; some things done in the name of religion are very bad. That was what I was trying to describe in my story.
“I think the qualities that the books celebrate are those such as kindness, love, courage and courtesy too. And intellectual curiosity. All these good things. And the qualities that the books attack are cold-heartedness, tyranny, close-mindedness, cruelty, the things that we all agree are bad things.”
With all the negative comments about Pullman’s trilogy, I was intrigued by remarks of an assistant professor of religious studies, who is also a Catholic. This professor is planning to start a class on the trilogy and found Pullman’s books to be “breathlessly written adventures, rich in Christian ideals and theological probing.” In fact, this professor has also co-authored a book titled “Killing the Imposter God.” Your thoughts?
I would say this professor is in agreement with my own perception of the books. I don’t interpret Pullman’s writings literally. There is no denying that God is killed in the third book, but this God is not how I believe God to be. Pullman’s God is weak and useless and obviously able to be killed. I believe it is the concept of a manlike God with mortal qualities that needs to die so that a purer, more accurate understanding of God can emerge. Pullman’s God is an impostor and in no way corresponds to the traditional Christian viewpoint of an omnipotent and immortal God.
Some parents have expressed concerns that Pullman’s presentation of church and God will have a negative impact on young people. How would you respond?
I think some children are too firmly directed about how to believe spiritually. They are rarely given an option to stray beyond what their parents think, and I believe this is one reason why some young people step away from organized religion in their 20s and 30s. They are tired of being told what to think. Having a more honest and open approach with children in regard to religion and spirituality may have more positive results in the end.
Still, if parents have some concerns about their child reading a book such as “The Golden Compass,” they might consider reading and discussing it with their child. That way, the child is graced with the parents’ life experiences and opinions along with the author’s ideas. This is better to me than simply denying a child access to what some consider a controversial book. Nothing would have tempted me more than my mom closing a door on what I could read.
What is your view about boycotting movies or censoring books?
As a literature and movie connoisseur, this thought appalls me. My master’s is in Literature, and when I look back at humanity’s history, I see the evils of book censorship. Does that mean that parents should not control what their children read? No, but I would emphasize motive. If the motive is a belief that the subject matter is too adult or perhaps scary, then there is nothing wrong with it. However, if parents simply want to control their children’s thinking, out of fear that they will develop opinions that stray from the parents’ beliefs, then I am highly against it. I believe children should be encouraged to come to their own conclusions about what they are going to believe in, and such ability only creates better and more responsible adults. Reading a book can only broaden a child’s ideas and vocabulary. And that’s a good thing!
If someone asked you what “The Golden Compass” is about, what would you say?
I would say it is about a young girl’s destiny to make a positive impact on her world. Lyra is a good role model for children. She is strong and brave, not afraid to make sacrifices for the greater good. In many ways, this book (and all three books in Pullman’s trilogy) are genuinely inspirational about the power of one person standing against many for what is right.
— — —
So what do you think? Did I raise an independent thinker? My daughter and son-in-law are coming to town so we can see “The Golden Compass” together as well as go to “The Nutcracker” ballet. It should make for an interesting weekend — filled, I suspect, with lively dialogue!
Oct 27, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
It’s seven days till Thanksgiving, and I’m not home cleaning house. Nor have I done my grocery shopping for our Thanksgiving feast. Actually, I’ve not even made my shopping list yet! What am I doing? I’m camping with my husband in a very remote location.
Solitude during the holiday season is a gift to be relished, I’ve heard. My daughter told me to enjoy the quietness and relaxation before all the hustle and bustle gets in full swing. But I did bring along some holiday catalogs and cookbooks to peruse. And, clearly, I brought my laptop, since I’m typing this column as I sit at our camper dining table enjoying the view — hills, trees, sky and our puppy basking in the sun on the camper window shelf. The only sounds I can hear are birds singing, and I think I hear some cows off in the distance.
As I sit here reflecting on the holidays ahead, I’m wondering why the season of peace, love and goodwill is also a season notorious for raising people’s stress levels. The demands on our time are steadily increasing — from work to parties, decorating, shopping, baking, cleaning and scores of other chores and responsibilities. Yes, there certainly are many things I want to do and little time to do them.
Perhaps we get caught up in trying to create the perfect Hallmark holiday. Or perhaps we attempt to re-create the Currier and Ives Christmas of our childhood. Whatever our motivation, we may feel the pressure of the fast-approaching holiday deadline and become consumed with fear and anxiety that we will not accomplish the memory we long for.
Our anxiety is a good indicator that we need to bring a healthy and holy balance to our goals and aspirations. This reminds me of Jesus’ visit with Martha and Mary. Jesus and his disciples were on a journey to Jerusalem and went to Martha and Mary’s home in a nearby village. Apparently, while Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing, her sister Mary was listening to Jesus as he taught.
Eventually, Martha approached Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
But Jesus responded, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42, Eugene Peterson, The Message)
I can’t help but believe that Martha had good intentions and was working hard to give her best efforts for her special guest and friends.
But I can also see that perhaps her overzealous focus on “details,” as Jesus described her busyness, was keeping her from listening and pondering the good news Jesus had to share. He was giving a feast that would provide an everlasting meal of strength and healing and an endless supply of inspiration and hope — sounds to me like a feast not to be missed!
Mary was not faulted for being attentive to Jesus’ teachings. It was clear she was not worried about anything else. She knew what was most important in that moment and made the choice to listen and grow in spiritual knowledge.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told his followers, ” … seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33). This seems like good instruction for setting our priorities and making our choices. If followed, we could surely walk through holiday clamor and would experience the most wonderful time of the year blessing others and being blessed ourselves, too.
Then we will not allow time constraints to dictate and dominate our thought to the point of forgetting the reason for the season. We will leave room for quiet reflection, prayer and study, as well as rejoicing and praise.
And we will not neglect opportunities to spend quality time with loved ones. We will outline less what and how our holidays should look and be more flexible and open for new and spontaneous ways to celebrate. We will count blessings rather than what is missing or what remains on our to-do list. And we will observe and honor each moment, giving our full attention to whoever is with us sharing each moment.
No doubt we can keep our cool this holiday season if we keep our priorities in better, holier order, which will certainly help us make good choices as well as make lasting, special memories.
Oct 27, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
A couple of weeks ago I went on a day trip with my daughter to eat lunch and shop in a small town in Louisiana where I enjoyed one of my favorite meals — fried green tomatoes and Cajun meat pies. But it was only a couple of years ago when I ate my very first fried green tomato! Unfortunately, I’ve spent most of my life unwilling to try something new. And I can’t help but wonder how much I have missed.
Some would say we’re prisoners of habit. From the way we think and believe to how we react and behave, we resist changes in the patterns we’ve built for our lives. And from my own experience, not doing something or not trying something has also been habit-forming. But habits can be broken.
“Old habits die hard,” the old adage proclaims. In other words, if a belief or way of behaving dies hard, it takes a long time to disappear and is not given up easily. I suspect some smokers unsuccessfully trying to quit would agree with this. However, I have a brother who, after smoking for probably 30 years of his life, easily quit once he decided to quit. His firm commitment brought discipline and confidence. He quit smoking on New Year’s Eve 15 years ago and never broke his resolution. So, breaking an old habit is possible and it need not be arduous.
A recent study asserts we’re set in our ways when it comes to our habits, our tastes, our preferences, and suggests getting stuck in the status quo comes with age. The study sought to learn when we lose our taste for the new.
For example, survey results from this study concluded that most people are 20 years old or younger when they first hear the popular music they choose to listen to for the rest of their lives. And if you’re more than 35 years old when a style of popular music is introduced, there’s a greater than 95 percent chance that you’ll never choose to listen to it. I must say, when it comes to music, I guess I’m in the remaining 5 percent. But, that said, I still definitely enjoy listening to the music of my high school and college days, too.
When it comes to food, I don’t think I ever had the taste for the new, even when I was young. My unwillingness to try new foods became a bad habit early on.
But, why is repetition so appealing? Some suggest our natural tendency is to revert to deep-rooted memories. Some say we’re afraid of making a mistake, failing or looking foolish. Some believe we acquire patterns of behavior that continue to occur automatically because we don’t question or consider a change.
How can we break bad habits and stop misguided reason from directing our behavior? How can we keep our tastes from narrowing or lose our fear of change or unwillingness to try something new?
Perhaps we can best begin by not believing a wrong concept of who we are, such as picky, addicted, fat, unreasonable, obstinate, unprogressive!
For me, the impulse to want to try new foods is a result of a newly gained self-image. For years I desired more order, balance and activity in my life, along with less body weight. Today, I’m 30 pounds lighter and happier and more energized than ever. I’ve also become more open-minded, spontaneous and hungry for all things new and different — including food.
In the Bible, Paul tells us that when we get rid of our old and stubborn ways, we can renew our thoughts and attitudes and see ourselves as the God-created inquisitive and spiritual child that we are. He wrote, “Since, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything — and I do mean everything — connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life — a God fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.” (Ephesians 4:22-24, Eugene Peterson, The Message)
Take heart, my friends. You need not miss out on the rich, vibrant world out there with all the infinite possibilities and God-provided good. You are governed by God alone and are not enslaved by habit or limited thinking or opinions. You have a spiritual nature, a spiritual instinct, which is open and receptive to God’s expansive point of view that is ever new, fresh, invigorating and full of life. So, if you want to make a change or try something new, you can do it!
Oct 27, 2007 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2007. All rights reserved.
“There is always, always, always something to be thankful for” the sign said. I chuckled reading the three “always.” And I thought, yes, sometimes I need extra encouragement to remember that.
Too often there have been times in my life when I’ve put off being thankful, saying to myself: I’ll be thankful when I get accepted to my college of choice, I’ll be thankful when I meet my husband, I’ll be thankful when we build a new house, or when I lose weight. I was fooled into believing that a certain culmination of events was required before thankfulness could be felt.
In each of these life lessons, my prayers have taught me how a moment of gratitude can provide a radical shift in perspective that reveals God’s activity and presence all around me. These lessons remind me of Mary Baker Eddy’s words, “Are we really grateful for the good already received? Then we shall avail ourselves of the blessings we have, and thus be fitted to receive more.”
In everything we did, in every moment we spent together, we were grateful.
Every year about this time, I recall the holiday season when I learned my first lesson in how thankfulness could transform my perspective, and consequently, my experience. I was a young child at the time, on the road with my mom after her divorce. We were homeless with little money as we traveled from town to town. Yet, losing most of what we had owned was not the end of our world. We had a daily practice of prayer and thankfulness that brought us joy and gave us a feeling of hope.
Although it was a difficult period, some of my fondest memories are from that holiday time. I think it became so special because of the gift of gratitude my mom and I gave each other. In everything we did, in every moment we spent together, we were grateful. We were grateful for present moments, and we were grateful for whatever tomorrow would bring. This included being thankful to have a Christmas tree—albeit the smallest tree I’d ever seen—for spending hours together making decorations, and cooking our favorite holiday sweets.
We were also thankful that my mom was able to find a job wherever we lived, even if it only lasted a few weeks or a few days. Counting, or considering our blessings, wasn’t something we did only at bedtime or when we were studying our Bible lesson. Gratitude helped us to see what was right and good in our lives wherever we were. It strengthened my understanding of God’s goodness, and inspired my mother with a new and promising view of our future.
When my heart is filled with gratitude I’m grounded in God’s presence.
One of my favorite hymns in the Christian Science Hymnal speaks of thankful living as having a grateful heart. In three verses a grateful heart is described as a garden, a fortress, and a temple. Throughout my life I’ve found this to be true. A grateful heart is a garden of comfort and peace that dispels anxiety and fear. It’s a fortress of certainty and hope that outlasts feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. And it’s a temple of strength and courage that brings expectancy of progress, growth, healing–even new beginnings.
Thankful living has enabled me again and again to experience the operation of God’s laws in the very moment that I’ve felt in need. “My cup runneth over” said the Psalmist. Isn’t this exactly what happens when we begin with gratitude? The good that has always been present comes into focus.
I’ve noticed that when my heart is filled with gratitude I’m grounded in God’s presence. I’m filled with proof of God’s love. Living life from this vantage point leads to a bounty of infinite possibility and progress, today and tomorrow. Now that’s a promise to be thankful for.
