Once upon a Christmas dream

Nov 16, 2008 | 0 comments

by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.

There’s something about Christmas that has always brought dreams of all that I longed and hoped for.

And it seems I’m not the only one who’s had Christmas dreams. Clara dreamed of her Nutcracker Prince coming to life. Children had visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. And others dreamed of home and a white Christmas. And everyone undoubtedly hopes the dreams they dare to dream today will come true!

Twenty-nine years ago Karen Carpenter sang words that resonated with my girlish dreams: “Merry Christmas, darling. We’re apart, that’s true. But I can dream and in my dreams I’m Christmasing with you.”

Even though I had not yet met my darling, I remember trying to imagine him — along with the day we would meet.

It was a “different” holiday season for me that year. My mother had remarried, and suddenly all of our family traditions were changed. I came home from college, only to leave again with my mother and her new husband to spend Christmas at his mother’s house along with his children.

It was Christmas Eve. Everyone had gone to bed, and I was trying to sleep on the sofa in front of the Christmas tree. I had just nestled in for the long winter’s night when the Carpenter’s song played on the radio.

I pondered how different this Christmas was from the previous year that I had spent mostly with my boyfriend’s family. We had broken up since then, and once again I was dreaming of when I would meet the man of my dreams.

Christmas in any age brings the promise of dreams fulfilled. I can’t think about the coming of the promised Messiah without being encouraged and strengthened by hope and grand expectations. So my dreams for love in my life were grounded in the knowledge that God’s unconditional and boundless love for His children could not help but mean my life would be filled with love.

I was learning to accept my mom’s marriage because I yearned very much for her to be happy, and I certainly wished her life to be filled with love, too.

Granted, I knew companionship and love could be expressed in many ways — not only in the form of a husband. Since the break-up with my boyfriend, I was rekindling friendships I had neglected, trying to be a good “big sister” to younger dorm mates, spending more time with family members and doing community service. So I wasn’t feeling lonely.

That Christmas Eve I was not merely longing for the day I would meet my dream man but looking forward to that day — a day I felt was soon to come. My dreams were packed with conviction and confidence.

One lesson I had learned well taught me that expectation of good enables one to recognize good when it appears. That same lesson taught me when one is gloomy and depressed, it is possible to miss the good that may be right in front of you.

I was quite certain that our heavenly Father promises our dreams will come true. Maybe not always in the exact way we imagine but always better than we dream. This is, of course, because God’s plan for good is always grander than our often limited vision.

I did meet the man of my dreams about six months later. And we met in the most unexpected way and moment. I could never have dreamed it! By Christmas Eve, we were announcing our engagement. That was twenty-eight years ago this year!

Don’t give up on your dreams, my friends. Keep your faith strong and certain. Change is sometimes needed in order for the best to come along. May all your Christmas dreams come true this Christmas and the whole year through.

Christmas blues

Nov 16, 2008 | 0 comments

by Annette Bridges. ©2008. All rights reserved.

We bought our Christmas tree today. Picking out a tree the weekend following Thanksgiving has long been our family tradition. But I have many friends who started their Christmas traditions earlier than normal this year. They just couldn’t wait to swing into the spirit of the season.

I’ve heard this desire voiced by strangers at my hairdresser’s shop, too. It seems there is an anxious longing to ease economic stress and worries, which has prompted some to get out their holiday decorations and music before Thanksgiving.

For many, Christmas brings a happy and blissful feeling, and yet for others, Christmas brings only sad memories and depression. Or this is what I believed before I began writing this column.

I have long held the opinion that an overdose of Christmas cheer generally pushes those teetering on the mental health brink over the edge. I had assumed that those who were “without” were depressed by those “with” — sometimes to the point of suicide. In fact, I was certain that the month of December was America’s psychologically most-menacing month, and I would have guessed that our nation’s highest suicide rate was on Christmas Day.

After doing a bit of research, however, I find evidence that suggests — as one study put it — “holiday depression is about as real as a red-nosed reindeer.”

Indeed, studies verify our national suicide rate in December has been either average or below average. One study cited the national average rate of suicides as 34 per million, with the average rate on Christmas Day as 30 per million. And the lowest point of the year was identified as taking place during the one to two weeks prior to Christmas.

While one suicide is one too many, I’m ashamed to admit that I was surprised that the national average was even as low as it is. I say ashamed because I think my surprise suggests that I need more faith in myself and my fellow human beings and our ability to cope with adversity. But I was heartened to learn that Christmas day and the days preceding it often have a lower number of people who feel inclined to end their lives.

I’m not dismissing the struggles some may be dealing with or the immense sadness some may be honestly feeling at Christmas or any other time. Still, I’m not sure why I have ever accepted that some troubles could be too overwhelming to recover from when my own personal experiences have taught me better.

My Christmases have not always been filled with merry gatherings and acquiring the gifts of my dreams. I can recall at least three family deaths that occurred in the days just prior to Christmas and a separation from almost all of my family during another Christmas. Many divorces among my family members have regrettably changed the face of our get-togethers over the years. And plenty of Christmas celebrations that were financially strained and even one when I was homeless.

But yet through them all, Christmas brought hope, peace, joy, fresh inspiration and comfort as well as the promise of a more prosperous and satisfying New Year.

Certainly I’ve lamented when loved ones were missing. And coping with change has often not been easy. But for me, Christmas has always helped to make everything brighter rather than the opposite.

Perhaps it’s the remembrance Christmas brings of the coming of a promised Saviour. I suspect it is the fulfilling of that divine promise that brings reassurance at Christmastime today. The gift of Christ Jesus was God’s most precious gift to humanity — a gift that is always with us. His healing message affirmed we are not frail, fear-driven mortals but rather spiritually strong, immortal sons and daughters of our heavenly Father. This is encouraging news!

So, if you are one of those who is struggling to feel the promise of a better tomorrow or you’re feeling very alone, please remember that just as God kept his promise long ago and sent His son to be our Saviour, He will continue to send His children — you and me — whatever we need to lift us out of the deep pit we may feel trapped in.