Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Icy weather that kept me inside during the football play-offs created an unexpected writing experience. Watching these championship games leading up, as my husband says, to the defining moment in any football team’s season — the Super Bowl — has prompted me to review defining moments in my own life.
What makes defining moments? I think they are moments, sometimes major events, always memorable occurrences, that cause me to think in terms of “before” and “after.” They are the moments that define and redefine who I am. They are the moments that stand out — some positive, some not so grand. But they are the moments that have raised my awareness and helped me discover the truth of who I am and my life purpose.
This process began with me making a list of what I think of as the major events in my life to date. I suspect some on my list are not so unlike many of yours, including such occasions as meeting my husband and having a baby. These might be characterized as two of the greatest “touchdowns” of my life.
Then, there are the more challenging events, which for me include my dad’s passing when I was 10 years old; a homeless journey with my mom that landed us in Texas; my suspension from college. Some experiences are a mixture of happy and sad, such as the day my daughter (my only child) left for college and the day she got married. These events could be translated into a collection of tackles and sacks with a few injuries, dropped balls and penalties, as well as some unforgettable third-down conversions.
While my life appears to be the sum of four quarters of play action, these in and of themselves do not define my life. I realize that it’s been the way I’ve responded to each big and small play that delineates who I am.
It seems the secret, or at least one key ingredient, to being a good quarterback is how well I respond when forced out of my comfort zone. This is when the “pass rush” comes toward me, and I may feel I have no control. Do I get out of my comfort zone and make the essential play, or do I stay and take the sack and perhaps even fumble the ball?
There are times when I’ve wondered how to gain the skills to perfect my game, especially when the needed response would have me going outside the secure walls I’ve built for myself. Since I was introduced to the teachings of Christian Science — another defining moment in my life — I’ve been learning that I actually have all I need right now as a beloved child of God. I need only respond using my God-given abilities. The Bible tells me, “Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32). These words remind me that God is always giving me everything I need to reach crowning achievements in my game of life. And when I have any doubts, I am assured, “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you” (James 4:8). When I’m confused or unsure how to respond to whatever I’m facing, I can turn to God — what I know about God’s ever-presence, goodness and love — and I will feel the divine leading and guiding me.
Life isn’t just about the big plays, touchdowns and field goals. I’ve discovered many defining moments are those precious memories that happen in between the major events. So my next list was a list of memories that stand out, many that I now see taught me valuable life lessons.
One example among many is my earliest recollection, when I was nearly 4 years old. I recall the delight I felt in running up and down what seemed to me was a “huge hill” in the hallway of our house. I suspect it was some unleveled floor, as we lived in a very old house. But to a toddler, it was a hill that gave me much happiness. This dear reminiscence teaches me to remember the joy God promises in each moment and to respond with rejoicing as I run up and down the life-hills that I may face.
Needless to say, my memories list is a few pages longer than my major event list. This tells me that life truly is more about the moments — each individual moment, not just the grandiose events. Yes, watching the football play-offs this year has reminded me of the importance of staying present with my life so that I recognize and cherish all of the not-to-be-forgotten moments that teach me grand life-lessons.
May you and I reflect upon all the defining moments of our lives and be able to conclude, “I was there, I lived and breathed and played the game. I learned and I loved, I laughed and I cried, and I danced. Life is good.”
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
We’re the multitasking generation, and we’re proud of it. We believe we’re sufficiently skilled to handle multiple tasks simultaneously, alternating from job to job in rapid speed. Although, on the surface, we seem more efficient, in our haste we may actually be taking more time to reach our goals and sacrificing quality as well.
No matter how much you try to convince yourself, you actually can’t do multiple things at the same time, and do them well. As Clint Eastwood says at the end of one of his “Dirty Harry” movies, “A man’s gotta know his limitations.”
Why do corporations continue to assume that the few can be asked to do the work of many? It seems the business world’s mantra these days is, “Do more with less.” But recent studies in multitasking indicate that trying to accomplish several duties at once may in fact reduce productivity, not increase it.
A segment on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” a few weeks ago caught my eye. It was discussing the steep price tag that comes with multitasking. A wife shared how she feels she never has her husband’s full attention because he’s constantly checking his BlackBerry, answering his cell phone and checking messages and emails. Imagine how your coworker, friend, spouse, lover or child would feel if every time they said something to you, you turned and gave them all of your attention — without thinking about what was next on your “to-do” list?
I’ve concluded that we really don’t multitask — we juggle. We actually juggle one task at a time, and whether we complete our various responsibilities quickly or slowly, we’re still only finishing one endeavor at a time. The problem is that not one undertaking has our attention for very long because we must focus immediately on the next item on our list. Certainly, the more we juggle, the greater the odds that we will drop some “ball.” Yet, juggling fewer duties or decreasing our priorities is not always the only answer.
Longing for a solution to multitasking madness, I turned to Jesus’ life and his three-year career. Here was a man who accomplished much in his brief ministry and whose eternal legacy still transforms the world generations after his work was completed. He taught and healed multitudes during those three years. How did he do so much in such a short period?
I decided to examine his typical workdays for insight. The book of Luke, Chapter 8 tells about many activities over what appears to be a very short amount of time — perhaps a day or a few days. During this time, Jesus traveled back and forth between two regions by boat, spoke to a large crowd, taught disciples in a private session, calmed a storm at sea, healed a madman, raised a little girl from death, and healed a woman with an issue of blood on the way to heal the little girl. All of this in only one chapter!
While it appeared that Jesus juggled many tasks, he really was about a single mission and purpose. His only work was being about his Father’s business. He never lost sight of this, regardless of the numerous details presenting themselves to him. This enabled him to focus on the needs of the moment and be responsive to each person he met. Jesus was always flexible, adjustable, listening, discerning. He was never rushed, pressured, stressed out or overwhelmed. He calmly went about accomplishing his work, fully attentive to each and every moment.
No, Jesus didn’t practice multitasking to accomplish his great mission — but, rather, the art of mindful living.
The fact of the matter is, we too have only “one” business — and like Jesus, it is to be about our Father’s business, wherever that takes us and in whatever we are doing. Perhaps the key to our success is to adopt “the mind of Christ,” as Paul says (Philippians 2:5). This means we, too, give our full attention to every moment and each person during those moments. We make mindfulness our approach to each day and every endeavor. I suspect such a mindful approach in our work and everyday life would result in greater achievement, fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness.
Oct 17, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
The premise for this column began as a conversation with a friend who is a writer, Bible researcher and speaker to Bible-study groups. She also co-leads tours to the Holy Land, Greece, Egypt and Turkey. For years now I’ve been promising her that one of these days my husband and I were going to take a tour with her – and asking her to not give up on us. My most recent promise was made last week.
Her response back to me was a gentle reminder about seizing the moment — and a familiar Bible story. The story was about the blind fellow, Bartimaeus, when he was by the roadside outside Jericho. He realized that somewhere in the passing crowd, among pilgrims on their way to the Passover in Jerusalem, was Jesus of Nazareth. Desperately wanting to meet Jesus, he called out, was shushed by those around him, called out again … and was healed.
According to the Interpreter’s Bible, it was good that he was persistent and seized the moment, because, unbeknownst to him, and to almost everyone, this would be the last time Jesus would pass that way. This was Jesus’ last trip to Jerusalem, so Bartimaeus would not have another opportunity to have a one-on-one with him.
The Interpreter’s Bible tells us to be sure we seize the moment.
I immediately began thinking about many times in my life when I’ve not seized the moment. I’ve always had my reasons, of course. But now I’m trying to decide whether or not my reasons for missing some opportunities were good enough. And I’m asking myself, what is it that keeps me from seizing moments now?
Hoping to learn that I was not the ONLY person in the world who has this struggle, I decided to ask several friends what keeps them from seizing the moment.
“Fear” was high on the list of reasons for many folks — fear of what may happen, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of risk. Some said uncertainty about a decision — questioning if it’s the best thing to do — generally makes them afraid to act and so they don’t. One friend said: “Fear of what I think others are likely to think. Fear of disapproval by others has a paralyzing effect on my actions.” And still another said, “It’s when I evaluate things based on how I think others will think of me that I fail to seize the moment.”
Plain ol’ procrastination was the reason for some. Sometimes we put off seizing moments because of laziness. Or we hesitate to make a decision, so we put off thinking about it, only to realize later what should have been done or said. One friend said she likes to spend time in contemplation with God first thing in the morning, but some mornings she will think, “I’ll just do this one thing, and maybe just one more thing, and then I’ll get back to God.” But on mornings she does this, the day will be over, and she will not have even said good morning to Him.
Fretting over time rather than living in the eternal now keeps many from seizing the moment. In what I call the “Scarlett O’Hara” approach, we say, “Maybe tomorrow would be a better time,” but when tomorrow comes, it is too late. The moment, the opportunity, the possibility is gone with the wind.
Time excuses also can stem from stubbornness and rigidity or even indifference and inertia. As one friend put it: “My schedule is already too full, or there are already too many demands on my time. It’s easy to get so involved in the present moments that seem to cry for my attention, that I can fail to perceive a special opportunity to help someone.” Another said: “It didn’t seem that important at the time to follow through. It just didn’t register as anything special or offer any immediate interest.”
Sometimes it’s a matter of “my way” or “no way.” One friend said, “I had other plans at the time and didn’t want to change my plans.” I’m not saying changing our plans is always the thing to do in every situation, mind you, but still, perhaps it’s good to be flexible and spontaneous so that we leave some room for moments that could be seized.
How we view ourselves can greatly impact whether or not we seize moments. One friend said sometimes he looks more at his limitations and lets this view determine what he can do, think or appreciate. Such a view always makes us believe we don’t have the ability needed. Or we may just feel unworthy. Guilt often turns into an attitude of unworthiness.
Sometimes to seize or not to seize the moment becomes a battle of wills — human will or the divine. A friend said: “Maybe you know it’s right to do something, but you don’t let yourself. You let some reason sway you in a different direction.” She said she was reminded of the story of Jonah and the whale. “He tried to avoid seizing the moment and heeding God’s direction.”
But she did offer some good news and hope for those folks who are lamenting over moments they wish they had seized. She said, “If it’s a God-directed idea, I think the opportunity will arise again until it is acted upon.” Jonah did get a second opportunity to follow God’s direction.
Many people live their days so mired in the past or worried about the future that they remain unaware of the treasure of the present that they already possess. We can waste precious time worrying about some future moment. What often happens to me is that I worry about something that could happen. Then circumstances change, and whatever I was concerned about doesn’t even exist anymore. Priceless moments that could have been savored were lost. This reminds me of the song by Seals & Croft, “We may never pass this way again.” One verse encourages us to “Sail our ships out on the open seas, cast away our fears and all the years that come and go. … ” Yes, and enjoy each moment before it passes us by!
My husband and I have decided to not be so focused on making and saving money that we never take the time to enjoy life. And when we go on a vacation, we’re committed to being on vacation and not thinking about work waiting for us to do when we get home.
Savoring each moment of our lives brings joy and thankfulness for each life moment. I want to be willing to explore new territories, go places I’ve never been before. Life is fresh, exhilarating and full of limitless possibilities when we live fully and mindfully in the moment. Our comfort zone may be comfortable, but it also offers nothing new. As singer Lee Ann Womack sang, “And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.”
It’s easier to seize the moment when we live our lives as minutemen and minutewomen. During the American Revolutionary War, the minuteman was an armed man pledged to be ready to fight on a minute’s notice. But being a minuteman is not about being in a hurry. Perhaps Americans have become too consumed by a need to hurry, evidenced by such inventions as airplanes, television, computers, email, microwave ovens, cell phones, express checkout lanes and fast food.
Being a minuteman and minutewoman is not dancing too fast. As someone put it, “Life is not a race.” Slow down and enjoy the dance. God will reveal to us the “what and how.” We need only be willing, waiting, faithful and obedient to seize the moment. God will do the rest.
Oct 14, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
Do you feel like you’ve been abandoned and no one has your back? Do you feel alone, even when you’re in a room full of people? Loneliness can consume our body and soul and confuse and distort our perceptions. But “one” is not necessarily the loneliest number!
Everyone has times when they are alone, either by circumstances or choice. Actually, it’s essential to have times when we choose to be alone.
I cherish my moments of solitude. Sometimes my alone time is sipping a cup of hot tea while studying my Bible lesson or perusing a magazine, or taking a walk, or sitting in a comfy chair writing in my journal, or relaxing on the sofa reading a book. My alone time might even be just sitting quietly at my desk meditating, reflecting, praying.
Time alone in spiritual reflection can help bring balance and perspective to our lives. And such holy moments can refresh a troubled heart with reasons for hope and point toward solutions. These alone-with-God moments can be a wonderful gift to ourselves, moments that enable us to feel the embrace of our Father-Mother God and be reminded that we’re loved and wanted.
Sometimes people avoid being alone, hoping to escape from having to be alone with their thoughts, their fears or their insecurities. But being alone with God enables one to confront whatever would cause us to be troubled, afraid or insecure. God is an almighty power, conquering any evil and overcoming any disease of mind, body or spirit.
I’ve had times when I’ve struggled with being home alone, particularly when my husband goes out of town for a few days on a hunting trip. Even if I have friends or family staying with me, I still struggle with the feeling of loneliness. The only thing that helps me in these times is pondering the love that God has for us both and thinking of the love we share with each other as a natural expression of the love that God has instilled in each of us. This helps me feel united with my husband in God’s love, and I realize that no matter where I am or my husband is, I can still feel his love and he can feel mine. Love knows no boundaries and is not confined by time and space.
When we struggle with loneliness, we may feel that nobody else has ever been in our shoes, which, by the way, is never true. We may believe we’re not understood and that there is no one to turn to. We may fear being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people and then generally behave in such a way that forces our worst fears to become true. Some call this a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can’t help but be reminded of Harry in the movie “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.” Increasingly being faced with crisis situations, Harry insists his friends could never understand his turmoil and begins to push them away, lamenting that he must endure and face the enemy, Lord Voldemort, alone.
His emotional struggle with feelings of separation and isolation becomes possibly his most difficult battle and one that perhaps was part of his enemy’s battle plan against him. As Luna Lovegood wisely concludes and advises Harry, “Well, if I were You-Know-Who, I’d want you to feel cut off from everyone else. ‘Cause if it’s just you alone, you’re not as much of a threat.” Harry eventually discovered and learned the strength and power of having his friends at his side.
Each of us, as a child of God, has the companionship of our divine Parent and Friend forever at our side — ready, willing and able to help us in any situation. God is ever present, ever ready to be “our refuge and strength” and is truly “a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).
We need not feel we must tackle life’s challenges by ourselves. Divine help is at hand.
Loneliness is nothing but a state of thought. And thought can be changed, uplifted, inspired and encouraged. Whether we’re struggling with feelings of abandonment, rejection, depression, insecurity, anxiety, hopelessness or unworthiness, a spiritual outlook can lift our mental state above our limited human perception. A good dose of “heavenly inspiration” is the only cure I’ve found for overcoming feelings of loneliness. And I get my best inspiration when I’m alone with God.
Still think you’re alone? Well, you’re not! ” … the God of love and peace shall be with you” always! (2 Corinthians 13:11)
Oct 13, 2006 |
by Annette Bridges. © 2006. All rights reserved.
What’s the greatest Christmas gift in the world? Perfect for any age or gender?
It was over twelve years ago when my mom and daughter joined me on a three week journey. We crossed the country traveling through much of the northeast. Three generations of women sharing treasured moments together. It was awesome and unforgettable.
So much so we made a vow to do it again. But we haven’t kept that promise. That is, until a couple of weeks ago. The three of us once again went on a memorable journey together.
And that brings me back to the greatest Christmas gift. How many times have I never done what I said I was going to do?
And why not?
There has always been a reason. Or so I would convince myself. The most frequently given excuse has been – not enough time.
Sometimes I wonder how much time I have wasted worrying about not having enough time. And consequently getting nothing done because I’m too busy fretting about not having enough time to accomplish what I want or need to do.
Recently, I came across an article written by spirituality and health reformer, Mary Baker Eddy (See www.marybakereddy.org), which was published in 1903. Titled “Now and Then”, its timeless ideas are now transforming my every decision and action.
Ideas such as ….
”A lost opportunity is the greatest of losses.”
“We own no past, no future, we possess only now.”
“If the reliable now is carelessly lost in speaking or in acting, it comes not back again.”
“Faith in divine Love supplies the ever-present help and now, and gives the power to act in the living present.”
So what’s the greatest Christmas gift in the world?
I think it’s – today.
Perhaps that really is why it’s called – the present.
I’m going to try and give as many “todays” as I can this year. Look for present possibilities to make memorable moments with friends and loved ones. I think it may be the greatest gift I can give. And maybe the most memorable.
