I don't want to lose my brother!
I begin this message on a somber note and I’m not sure where it’s heading. I have three older brothers. The brother closest to me in age is seven years older. And it’s this dear brother who seems destined to pass on before the rest of us as he now lies in a hospital bed waiting for that moment to arrive.
My sadness of losing this beloved brother is based upon agonizing images in my mind that are crying “what shouldn’t be and what should have been.”
I know that these images and thoughts will serve no good purpose and are some I need to come to grips with eventually. But I’m having great difficulty in doing that today. So I’m writing in an effort to convince myself I guess.
Certainly, there have been other times in my life when I’ve struggled with regrets of what might have been. But those times were usually about my own life and I would come to realize I could still make changes, move forward and do things differently.
It is a whole other story when you’re looking at the end of life for a loved one and you can only see a life story filled with actions and decisions that scream what should have been. “He’s too young,” my heart sobs. “This shouldn’t be,” my heart laments. There was so much potential not reached, talent not utilized, passion not directed in the way it was meant. In the past year or so he spoke to me about new dreams that break my heart to know he can’t fulfill them.
I’m trying to believe his spiritual life will go on. But at the moment, I’m not finding solace in that hope.
What is building in my heart and soul is a growing determination to make the most of my own life. To stop waiting for another day or for tomorrow or for another year to do the things I dream of. I don’t want to reach my end of days and think what should have been or what I should have done. And I really don’t want my loved ones to look at me and think the same.
I’m also becoming more passionate about not missing opportunities to say or do whatever could or should be said or done.
I missed my brother’s last phone call to me. If only I could hear “Hey baby sister!” a few more times. I remember our last normal conversation very well. It was months ago actually and I recall having the feeling that I didn’t want it to end.
Have you ever been on the telephone with a loved one and the whole time you were anxious to get off because you had other things you wanted or needed to do?
My advice to you is to always be present in your time spent with those you love. To not be mentally distracted by what is often inconsequential details of your life. Nothing is probably more valuable to you than the time you spend with someone you love. So relish and cherish those times. It could be your last spent with that someone.
I’m so very grateful now that I didn’t hurry my last long normal conversation with my brother. I know now it was a gift.
Maybe that’s my answer today. I’m going to think about my brother as a gift in my life. And gifts of times spent together can’t be taken away. Their memories remain forever…
My last photo with my brother Gary – Summer 2011
P.S. I’m adding a P.S. note to my previously published post! I am also reminding myself RIGHT NOW that my brother is NOT gone yet and I’m going to STOP grieving for him as if he was! I’m going to focus on his presence in this moment and letting him know how much he is loved!
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I’m tacking on a final sad note a few days after my original post to say my dear sweet brother, Walter Gary Moody, passed on this morning, October 5, 2013. Not sure what more I will publish in the future about my brother, but I will tell you here that I’ve began a journal recording my earliest memories of the brother who was seven years old when I was born. And these memories are making me smile!
You are precious! Help me spread this message to young women!
Just when I was having a bad day, feeling down on myself, filled with regrets, consumed with grief, beating myself up with a bunch of what I should have done lectures, a very dear friend sends me a video message that truly was a God-send.
I was reminded again that my mamma was right when she said we are all somebody’s angel!
So my friends, if you’re feeling like everything in your life is falling apart or you’re doubting your world changing capabilities or you’re wondering if you’re too much or not enough, I invite you to listen to this video.
In fact, after hearing on the news today about another heart-breaking young teen girl’s suicide, I intend to share this video with every young woman, teenager, girl I know!
I want every young woman to know how precious and important they are, that they are needed, and wanted! That yes, we may make choices we sometimes regret. But part of life is learning to make better choices. We all must learn this lesson. I know it may sometimes be bittersweet. I know this from experience. I’m learning such a lesson right now.
But I want all young women to know that nothing is worth ending their life. That they need not feel they must figure out solutions to their problems or mistakes alone. Ask for help. There is a world that desperately needs them, needs their talent, their insights, their accomplishments. And there are people in this world who can and will help.
What's there to be happy about?
I heard someone say that Amazon.com boasts more than 20,000 titles on the subject of happiness. Yet with all the reading we’re doing, many of us will still say we haven’t found it yet.
Some say a deep longing for happiness is at the heart of the desire for money, fame, and power. Perhaps the best advice anyone could give us, whether we’re married or single, is to stop waiting for happiness to come galloping over the next horizon.
From my own experience, happiness does not come from trying to be someone different than who we are, nor in running from here to somewhere else. Happiness is not in the things we desire nor is it based on conditions. Happiness is always within our reach, but to have it we must sometimes take a stand and mentally fight for our divine right to be happy.
Abraham Lincoln said, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Roman Emperor Marcus Antonius said, “No man is happy who does not think himself so.”
English journalist Roger L’Estrange said, “It is not the place nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.”
I have proven to myself that a change in attitude and viewpoint leads to a change in perspective and outlook, which inevitably results in improved situations. Living next door to in-laws who, in my early marriage years, often made me feel they weren’t pleased with my husband’s choice in a wife gave me many opportunities for implementing my attitude adjustment.
I believe happiness must be as consciously practiced as gratitude, forgiveness, and kindness. As with everything else, the more we practice it, the better we get at it.
Want to read more?
This is an excerpt from:
Each of us is somebody's angel! May we never forget!
I wonder how many more stories of untold heroism and compassion comprise the tragic day of September 11, 2001.
Here I am early on the morning of September 11, 2013 taking my morning walk and looking on my iPhone for music or something to listen to when I see this YouTube video.
I had no idea how emotional I would become listening to this 12-minute story. After all, it had been twelve years since that horrific event. But to hear it – a story I never knew or never heard before – was another life-changing moment.
Besides my awe, respect and love for my fellow citizens, I found myself also saying OUT LOUD,
“I never want to say I should have!”
I even gained a new recognition of how our actions and our words matter, are important, make a difference in the lives of others.
One man on this video said, “Even if I only save one person, that will be one person who doesn’t have to suffer or die.”
It made me ashamed to ever believe my life, my actions, my words are meaningless, have no purpose, are not needed – even if only by one person!
I think what was truly amazing to me about this boat story, was a SINGLE call went out for help looking for any boats that could come to the rescue of the millions of citizens who ran away from the falling towers to the water’s edge with no place or way to escape.
ONE SINGLE PLEA FOR HELP!
And a multitude of boats suddenly began arriving within minutes!!! Many were individual boat owners who didn’t think twice, were not part of an organized coalition or planned rescue mission!
They simply responded. They acted. And thank God they did!
Bless each and every one of them and the many others who put the life of someone else before their own without even blinking an eye.
My mamma was right when she said,
“Each of us is somebody’s angel.”
May we never forget that!
DamnGoodAdvice reader photo contest winners are…
Woo hoo! The first DamnGoodAdvice reader photo contest is announcing its winners, selected by a neighboring photographer because I could NOT make my mind up. I LOVED LOVED LOVED all of the photos!
Many thanks to each lovely lady who participated! And to show my enthusiastic appreciation to everyone who took part in my first contest, the runner-ups will also receive an Amazon gift card. All participants will be receiving a signed copy of The Queen of Damn Good Advice along with her customized tote bag filled with other “Queen” customized goodies.
Without further delay…
♥ The first place winner is Morgan Miles.
Morgan Miles
♥ The second place winner is Deborah Napale.
Deborah Napale
But as I said, I LOVED all of the entries and sincerely appreciate each darling & sassy photo! Amazon gift cards will arrive via email so winners should be on the look-out for them TODAY! And book goodie bags will arrive via USPS – being mailed on Friday!
Stay tuned all ladies! Who knows what Queen challenge will happen next!
Come to the East Texas Bookfest 2013! Pass the word!
Join me along with over 50 authors
at the
East Texas Book Fest 2013
(Book Fest website)
September 14 from 10am-4pm
At Tyler Rose Garden Center
420 Rose Park Drive
Tyler, Texas 75702
Texas Book Festival
San Antonio
I’ll have a booth displaying both of my books (see them here) with special pricing and several FREE goodies for those who buy either or both of my books. Each book comes with a customized tote bag!
This is a great time to find some new books, but also a great place to find holiday gifts early. You can get both of my books to give as gifts for $20. My books are great gifts for moms, daughters, sisters, other family members and friends.
And…they are great for young women in college, empty nest moms and seniors looking for new purpose, women of all ages striving to accomplish their dreams, brides preparing for marriage, women struggling with divorce or other drama — ANYONE men and women who want to recall and honor their own mamma stories and lessons.
The East Texas Book Fest is organized by SALT (Smith County Public Libraries) and UT Tyler Robert R. Muntz Library. SALT is Bullard Community Library, Lindale Community Library, Troup Library, Tyler Public Library, and Whitehouse Community Library.
Please help me help them by sharing the news of their 2013 book event!
A Queen asks, "Why not?"
Many times in my life I’ve let fear stop me from reaching some goal or aspiration. Since I can’t go back and change all the things I wish I had done and living in regret is completely pointless, today my resolve is fierce when I’m faced with a fear that is trying to hold me back.
Now, I do believe in making informed decisions. There could be information that might stop me from making a change.
It could also be that some changes are better at one time than at another. If a desired change shouldn’t happen today, it doesn’t mean that at some point in the future it couldn’t or shouldn’t happen.
But one thing is for sure—
Do not let fear paralyze you with uncertainty, indecisiveness, and inaction.
You must stop fear before it stops you.
It’s helpful to look at your fear straight on and examine what it is telling you. Perhaps your fear is saying: “You can’t do it or it will be too difficult.” “You’re afraid of what others will think.” “You will fail.” “You will be wrong.” “You won’t like the outcome.”
Some people say that fear can be rational and logical and is a helpful instinct that protects us from danger. I don’t think it is fear that makes decisions and actions rational, logical, and safe, but rather knowledge, understanding, and common sense, as well as divine inspiration and revelation.
At least from my own experience, fear is irrational and base- less. It is some illusive belief that would stop me from making my life better—happier, more satisfying, more interesting, more productive, more fun.
Changes are natural—and can be progressive—throughout our lives. Making a well-thought-out change need not be feared but welcomed, explored, and enjoyed.
I always say asking yourself “Why not?” when considering some change can be very telling.
You may find that there isn’t a good enough reason not to.
“A Queen asks, “Why not?” is a chapter title in my latest book!
Want to read more?
This is an excerpt from:
Taking our own damn good advice
I want to be sure that anyone planning to read my new book understands something very important!
“Annette” is NOT the queen of damn good advice. My new book is about finding the “queen” that resides within each and every woman.
It’s about finding the strength, power, courage and ability to overcome problems, leap over hurdles, jump through hoops – whatever it takes – to reach goals and realize dreams. It’s about discovering your voice and your purpose. Recognizing your potential. Believing in YOU.
In fact, my latest epiphany had me asking myself, “How often do I take my own damn good advice?” We moms give our daughters plenty of advice, instruction and suggestions but as it turns out, what we share is good for each of us, too. We need to take our own advice!
So…you got it! I’m reading THE QUEEN OF DAMN GOOD ADVICE from cover to cover myself!
But you don’t need to read a book to find YOUR queen, ladies.
She is there within you.
She loves you and wants the best for you.
You are your queen!
You can do whatever you want to do, be who you want to be.
Give yourself permission!
You rule!
"a time of rebirth of your deepest self"
30th Birthday Party!
My little chick took flight twelve years ago now so my nest has been empty for a while. Of course, she did come home during a transitional time in her life after a divorce, but not for long. She soon spread her wings again and has been flying strong and high ever since. I’m so very proud of her as I watch her grow into this awesome, focused, clear, determined woman. She’s teaching 3 college classes this fall as she continues on her PhD journey.
Reading the many tweets, posts and blogs by new empty nesters reminds me of when I was in those same shoes. And while the ache in my heart is not as great as it was in the beginning, there are some ways I’m still trying to come into my own in this empty nest season of life.
I came across a passage from a book recently that, for me, seems to define the empty nest perfectly. Interestingly, it was in a Prevention Magazine article titled, “Menopause, An Owner’s Manual” written by Ginny Graves. And the passage was from a book titled, “The Wisdom of Menopause” by Christiane Northrup, MD.
She was defining menopause – been there done that, by the way. Although Christiane was describing menopause, I say an empty nest is:
“a time of rebirth of your deepest self. It’s like being in labor: It can be painful, but you have to believe that you’re going to come out of it with something beautiful.”
She continued, “When I was going through it, I finally quit putting my needs last and started making time for myself to write – which led to my biggest professional success. It was a real blessing!”
So dear brand new empty nesters and “old-timers” like me….
Imagine being reborn into a new beautiful you. You were already beautiful but it’s the new you that is exciting to think about. This is a special most precious time in your life. A time to be cherished and nurtured! A time that will bless you!
I finally BELIEVE this!
After thirty years of motherly advising my beautiful and intelligent daughter, I’m finally going to start taking my own advice. I’ve been in labor with this new me long enough! My latest epiphany!
Never doubt your greatness
I say, “Never doubt your worth or worthiness. Never doubt your abilities.”
I have always believed that God not only will give us what we need, she’s going to lead us, she has our back, and she’ll hold our hand. “The Queen of Damn Good Advice” in my life, my mamma, has always assured me that God is with us every step of our life journey. No matter what need arises along the way, God would have a solution. My mamma has always been right!
Our journeys are our own. Each princess and queen has a purpose that is significant. Each of our missions is distinct. No one else is suitable or worthy to fulfill our individual mission. Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise.
Want to read more?
This is an excerpt from:
Want to hear a song that encouraged me at a time when I was questioning my worth, my purpose, my passion?
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