Five excuses that keep us from "seizing the moment"
There have been many times in my life when I’ve not “seized the moment.” I’ve always had my reasons, of course. But later, after moments have come and gone, I would wonder whether or not my reasons for missing some opportunities were good enough.
What is it that keeps us from “seizing moments” when they come along?
Hoping to learn that I was not the ONLY person in the world who has struggled with missed opportunities, I asked several friends what kept them from “seizing the moment.” Below are the top 5 excuses….oh…I mean “reasons” they shared with me.
- FEAR: Fear of what may happen, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of risk, fear of disapproval…
- UNCERTAINTY about a decision – questioning if it’s the best thing to do or not – often makes us afraid to act and so we don’t
- PROCRASTINATION: We put off thinking about “something” only to realize later what should have been done or said
- TIME EXCUSES: Our schedule is already too full. There are too many demands on our time.
- WE HAVE AN UNWORTHY VIEW OF OURSELVES. A focus on our limitations that determines what we can or can’t do. We don’t believe we have the ability, skills, talent needed.
Do you have different reasons you could add to this list?
Savoring each moment of our lives brings joy and thankfulness for each life moment. Let’s be willing to explore new territories, go places we’ve never been before. Life is fresh, exhilarating and full of limitless possibilities when we live fully and mindfully in the moment. Our comfort zone may be comfortable, but it also offers nothing new. As singer Lee Ann Womack sang, “And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.”
What inspires you?
Wearing flip-flops inspires me!
I admitted long ago that I was a flip-flop-oholic. For me this has meant, besides owning a few dozen pairs of these foot-loving treasures, taking life a bit slower and easier as well as taking most matters less seriously.
But recently a friend shared a new term that I believe better describes my approach to life. So now I say I’m a flip-floptimist! This me is more adaptable and flexible, more carefree and relaxed, more lighthearted. This me spends less time fretting and stressing and more time being content and happy.
While I would agree that I’ve not always lived by my flip-flop philosophy, it has been my life-long goal and these days I’m much more successful at implementing it.
Living in your flip-flops is about being in the moment as well as taking the scenic route (and a few detours) as you travel your life journey. And sometimes it’s about reinventing yourself into a new you. As Sandy Gingris writes in her book, How to Live in Flip-flops, “Think Cinderella absolutely transformed by her shoes…”
Sandy points out that one definition of flip-flop is a verb meaning “to suddenly reverse direction or point of view.” By the way, a change of direction is sometimes necessary and quite appropriate when reinventing your self. Flip-flopping can be a good thing!
A few tidbits of Sandy’s flip-flop wisdom that I especially appreciate include:
“When we open up our feet to the sun, our lives seem to open up also – to the stars and the moon, to the sky, to the possibilities of the horizon.”
“We are never as far away from our flip-flop selves as we might feel. If we just give ourselves a moment, we can open up to the flip-flop self within.”
“Life shouldn’t be the story of how we lose ourselves.”
Indeed, living in your flip-flops is about finding yourself – your true self, otherwise known as your flip-flop self. It’s about taking those precious needed moments for self-discovery and fulfillment.
Since I want all sisters, daughters and mammas to benefit from the power of the flip-flop, I’ve included the essay, “When your glass slipper is a flip-flop” in my upcoming book, The Queen of Damn Good Advice. I don’t want any of us to ever forget to have fun and enjoy what we’re doing. And ladies, flip-flops can help you with this endeavor.
3 Favorite Mamma Recipes
Recipes shared in this blog are part of a growing collection featured on my website in Mamma’s recipe eBox! I hope you enjoy trying some of her treasured dishes. And you’re invited to share your mamma’s prized specialties and delectables here, too. Of course, our mothers are not the only good cooks, but we don’t tell them that. So do feel free to include yummy treats beloved and cherished by a grandmother, mother-in-law, sister, daughter AND your own. Click here to go this new page and look for “Submit your recipe here” to participate! I would be super tickled to hear from you!
Here’s 3 new favorites I just added to Mamma’s eBox:
Heavenly Lime Jello Salad
My Mamma loves this fruity salad with her holiday meals, but she treats herself and others with it anytime she can – most every month!
1 small package lime jello
1 cup pineapple juice
1 small tub whipped cream cheese
1 small can crushed pineapple (drained)
1 tub whipped topping
1 cup pecan pieces (optional)
cherries to top with after jelled
Bring pineapple juice to a boil and add jello mix. Let set until begins to thicken. Mamma usually puts in the freezer and keeps a close eye. You want to remove from freezer when it is beginning to thicken just a little bit. Using your electric mixer, add cream cheese and mix well until creamy. Then add crushed pineapple, pecans and whipped topping. Chill in refrigerator until firm. Decorate with cherries and more pecan pieces if you like.
♥
Black-eyed peas
2 onions slicked thin or chopped
1 yellow bell pepper
1 bag black-eyed peas (soaked as directed on package)
1 T. soy sauce
1 can mild rotel tomatoes
1 t. dry mustard
1 t. chili powder
1 t. black pepper
1/2 t. red pepper
1 T. parsley
2 pieces of cooked bacon – crumbled
1 small jar picante sauce
1 small can green chilis
After soaking bag of black-eyed peas overnight, they should be ready to cook. You probably need to use your large dutch oven size stovetop pot. Of course, after draining peas from their soaking water, put them into your pot and add the rest of your ingredients. Mamma doesn’t add additional water until she gets all the other ingredients mixed with the peas and only adds water as needed to keep the peas well-covered. I don’t know how long it takes for the peas to actually be done because Mamma cooks them all day long!
♥
Sweet Potato Casserole
Warning: The amounts of these ingredients are approximated because Mamma and I don’t really measure with the appropriate and proper measuring cups and spoons!
6 – 8 sweet potatoes – sliced, cooked then mixed with electric mixer while still HOT
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 brown sugar
1 stick butter, melted
1/2 cup milk
1 T. vanilla
4 eggs
1/2 cup flour
1 t. nutmeg
1 T. cinnamon
3 T. pumpkin pie spice
In large bowl, mix together all ingredients with electric mixer. Important to mix while potatoes are still HOT. Pour into a butter greased 13x9x2 baking dish. Bake at 350° for approximately 45 minutes, possibly longer. My Mamma’s oven bakes faster than mine! Top with mini-marshmellows. This is a family tradition with our Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners! Taste like dessert, but it’s not!
♥
Southern Women Authors
The Southern Belle’s Handbook
By Loraine Despres
Honestly, I don’t check out the birthplace of lady authors before I buy their books. So I don’t limit my reading to only southern women authors. But, I can sometimes guess where a woman has grown up by the way she writes. I must admit, I do enjoy the flare and wit that often shines through in the writings of a girl raised in the south.
This is probably why Loraine Despres’ The Southern Belle’s Handbook put a smile on my face the first time I read it. Mind you, Ms. Despre was not born in the south, but she was only a wee babe months old when her family moved to Louisiana, so the south is where she was rooted and grounded. This darling little handbook is along the lines of a quote book but the quotes are rules that make up this “survival manual for women.” The introduction describes this handbook as “a foolproof set of timeless wisdom that can help every woman accomplish exactly what she sets out to achieve in any realm of her life…”
Some of my tabbed pages include the following rules:
- A Southern Belle picks her fights…there are so many other ways to get what you want. Rule #26
- When you get to be a certain age you realize that the only thing you have time for is doing exactly what you want. Rule # 56
- Forget his stomach. The surest way to keep a man happy is to become his cheerleader. Rule #33
- Men fantasize about being a knight and rescuing a maiden in distress. Encourage this, it’s a good thing. There’s no reason for you to have to struggle while pushing a heavy bag into an overhead compartment. Rule # 73
- Men will say anything. A Southern Belle pays attention to what he does, never to what he says. Rule #79
- Throughout history, men have drooled over beautiful women. But there’s no point obsessing. There are plenty of misguided women who starve themselves to perfection, work out to exhaustion every day, and sit home alone every night – while at the supermarket you’ll find lots of women who are fat, feisty and married. You’ve got to keep things in perspective. Rule #87
Remembering a lesson learned – "When you need a time out, go to the beach"
“When you need a time out, go to the beach,” is my mamma’s lesson 12. As I wrote in my book, Mamma has always been a big believer in taking “time outs.” Since I’m fixin’ to do just that, THANK GOD, I couldn’t help but dream about what I hope to experience when I get to my spring break destination.
These past couple of years have been filled with some doozy challenges I hope not to repeat anytime soon – or rather I hope to never repeat! Two surgeries, for example, are two TOO many in a lifetime much less in a year. But my health woes are not the half of what has weighed heavily on my heart. And I know you have your own troubles and certainly don’t need to hear my dreary list.
So I’m moving on to reminiscing happier days. My mamma and I made countless trips to the ocean, often driving a thousand miles to get there. Sometimes we drove all night even if only for a weekend. The beach was her favorite place to “time out.” Whatever the reason, a trip to the beach picked up her spirits and gave her the rest and encouragement she needed to keep moving ahead with her life and goals.
Indeed, there is something calming about listening to the ocean waves crash and enlightening about gazing at the endless ocean horizon. Problems that seem huge and unsolvable become small and fixable as I soothe my feet in the infinite grains of cool sand. Yes, the seashore is my favorite “prayer closet.”
But I can’t always head to the beach because it is still about a thousand miles away. Thankfully, there are other opportunities to be alone and quiet. It might be a candlelit bath, a walk in the country side, a drive to a nearby lake, or just shutting my office door and closing my eyes to ponder how much greater God’s love is than any problem I’m facing.
But this time……I’ll be closing my eyes oceanside!
May you find your “beach” where ever that may be this spring break week and every week in the year ahead!
March Top 3 Good Books for Moms
Good Books for Mom
The March edition of “Good books for moms” features three books my friends Karen and Peggy recommended. I’d love to share your suggestions in future blogs, so please share your parenting secret weapons. Or maybe you didn’t need books to fill you up with awesome parenting wisdom. If not, you’re welcome to share how you managed to raise the most incredible, intelligent children I have no doubt that your children are!
I love this title! Not that I ever felt like I was losing my mind. Well, perhaps I wasn’t very good at potty training, except with my dachshund. My potty training skills really shined there!
Making children mind without losing yours By Kevin Leman
Karen says that Making your children mind without losing yours “is an uncomplicated sensical approach to parenting!”
Here’s the Amazon book summary:
Raising children these days can be daunting. But if anyone understands why children behave the way they do, it’s Dr. Kevin Leman. Equipping parents with seven principles of Reality Discipline–a loving no-nonsense parenting approach that really works–this internationally known psychologist, author, and father of five shows parents how to:
– Understand why children misbehave and what to do about it
– Foil finicky eaters, turn off temper tantrums, and minimize sibling rivalries
– Set suitable allowances, curfews, and privileges
– And much more
Real-life examples, questions at the end of each chapter, and a discussion guide for individual or group use make this book an engaging read for parents, teachers, and child care providers. With over a million copies in print, readers can’t go wrong with this classic and continual best-seller-now in a fun, new package.
♦
Toilet training in less than a day By Nathan Azrin & Richard Foxx
Peggy recalls that Toilet training in less than a day “had a list of readiness skills, like being able to follow complex instructions such as ‘Go get daddy’s shoes out of the closet.’”
Here’s Amazon’s book summary:
THE CLASSIC GUIDE USED BY MILLIONS OF PARENTS!
MAKE TOILET TRAINING A TOTAL SUCCESS — IN ONLY A FEW HOURS!
From two noted learning specialists; here is the amazing, scientifically proved Azrin-Foxx method that teaches toilet training quickly — in less than four hours for the average child. And after that rewarding learning period, he or she will willingly use the toilet without assistance or a reminder!
Also inside is a wealth of information on related topics, including:
• Unexpected benefits — your child’s newfound pride and independence can increase eagerness to feed and dress him- or herself, and improve responsiveness to parental instruction
• Pre-training techniques every parent should know • Bed-wetting problems — and how this method can help end them
• Happy children, happy parents — how mastering toilet training benefits the whole family, increasing parents’ personal time and deepening the parent-child connection.
With more than 2 million copies sold, TOILET TRAINING IN LESS THAN A DAY is the one guide you’ll need to make this significant transition a rewarding and pleasurable experience — for both you and your toddler!
♥
Finally here’s a parenting book written by a woman! I must admit I am surprised at how many parenting books are written by men. I’m not meaning to sound sexist or anything, but where I grew up, the daddies were not that involved “in the home,” shall we say.
Teaching Montessori in the home By Elizabeth Hainstock
Peggy says Montessori in the Home was the most well worn book in her home, other than her Bible lesson for her peace of mind. I don’t know if both of these editions were around when Peggy was wearing them out, but I see on Amazon that there are two editions – for “the pre-school years” and “the school years.”
Amazon’s book summary:
Claim quality togetherness with your child and fully enjoy the sensitive and formative years from two to five by adopting proven teaching techniques in your own home.
This acclaimed guide puts the entire range of the Montessori system within your 
reach, so you can make the most of your child’s vital years. Teaching Montessori in the Home has already helped thousands of parents with the techniques, exercises, and easy-to-make Montessori materials that are essential for success. It demonstrates how you can develop your child’s sensory awareness and practical life skills, as well as lay the foundation of preliminary reading, writing, and math. The author is recognized as one of the most influential proponents of the Montessori method in the United States and throughout the world due to her concise, accessible writing style. This bestselling book grants you the opportunity to teach your child at home and gain a truly rewarding experience. Hainstock takes great pains here to offer the reader a very thoughtful yet concise introduction to the Montessori philosophy.
♣
Good book-club books
February’s fabulous 5!
There are so many wonderful books being published each year, it can be difficult for a book-club to know where to begin to make their reading selections. In the hopes of providing some assistance, I’ve been asking my twitter and Facebook friends for their recommendations. You can help by sharing some of your favorites in the comment box below. Simply click on the book image to go to the Amazon book page for each title. Each month I hope to share more suggestions. Until then, happy reading! And please do share your favorites with me so I can share them in future blogs!
Blessings by Anna Quinlen
Black and Blue by Anna Quinlen
The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver
Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver
The Children by David Halberstam
Books & more that inspire!
Books & more that inspire!
I’m always looking for books, quotes, videos – ANYTHING – that inspires me! Two of the books noted below – The Gentle Art of Blessing and The Last Lecture – are two of my favorite inspiration books and the other – One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You – was recently recommended by a friend. I’ve ordered it TODAY and can’t wait to read it because I have a feeling it is exactly what I need to read and read soon! (I’ve included the book summaries published on Amazon and the book titles are links to their Amazon page.)
Who among us isn’t looking or longing for inspiration right where we are? The many details of our day-to-day life can become consumed and overwhelmed with trying to get by, get past, get done with whatever needs to be accomplished. But sometimes we need to take a little break – a time-out. It’s usually during these moments when I wish I could run away and escape, such as going to the beach – my favorite place to take a time-out. Since that isn’t always possible being that the ocean is about a thousand miles from my house, taking moments to look for and find inspiration in books, quotes and videos suffices. Of course, a trip to Starbucks can help, too!
One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp
Just like you, Ann Voskamp hungers to live her one life well. Forget the bucket lists that have us escaping our everyday lives for exotic experiences. ‘How,’ Ann wondered, ‘do we find joy in the midst of deadlines, debt, drama, and daily duties? What does the Christ-life really look like when your days are gritty, long–and sometimes even dark? How is God even here?’ In One Thousand Gifts, Ann invites you to embrace everyday blessings and embark on the transformative spiritual discipline of chronicling God’s gifts. It’s only in this expressing of gratitude for the life we already have, we discover the life we’ve always wanted…a life we can take, give thanks for, and break for others. We come to feel and know the impossible right down in our bones: we are wildly loved–by God. Let Ann’s beautiful, heart-aching stories of the everyday give you a way of seeing that opens your eyes to ordinary amazing grace, a way of being present to God that makes you deeply happy, and a way of living that is finally fully alive. Come live the best dare of all!
How can a blessing change the world? According to Pierre Pradervand, making the conscious choice to bless every person or being around you can truly make a world of difference in yourself and in others around you. In The Gentle Art of Blessing, Pradervand shows that the practice of blessing has the power to create more than just a renewed perspective. It unleashes tangible benefits throughout your entire life — through your daily interactions, your life-long relationships, and in the way your approach your place in the world.
Pradervand describes blessing as genuinely wishing the best for another person through seeing their individual worth and honoring them for it. By looking at several different perspectives — providing spiritual inspiration from Hinduism, Taoism, the Koran, the Bible, and other important spiritual sources — The Gentle Art of Blessing explores the potential in shifting one’s attitude from confrontation and negativity to acceptance and enthusiasm. A powerfully simple way of perceiving and shaping our surroundings, blessings can reflect the unconditional love and acceptance that is necessary for world — and inner — peace.
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
A lot of professors give talks titled “The Last Lecture.” Professors are asked to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them. And while they speak, audiences can’t help but mull the same question: What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance? If we had to vanish tomorrow, what would we want as our legacy?
When Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was asked to give such a lecture, he didn’t have to imagine it as his last, since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But the lecture he gave–“Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams”–wasn’t about dying. It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others, of seizing every moment (because “time is all you have…and you may find one day that you have less than you think”). It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living.
In this book, Randy Pausch has combined the humor, inspiration and intelligence that made his lecture such a phenomenon and given it an indelible form. It is a book that will be shared for generations to come.
May something or someone provide the inspiration YOU need today!
Cheer up empty nester!
My nest emptied twelve years ago when my only child left for college. And I can sincerely tell y’all that it took me a long time to find something to cheer about again. I’d like to share ideas I’m pondering on, mulling over, or struggling with and as I reach some conclusions or have some grand epiphanies, I’ll share them with all of you women who might be considering the same mishmash of ideas or dilemmas. And if you feel inclined to share your own revelations back, that would be peachy!
Why can children laugh when their dreams fall part? I believe it’s because they’re visionaries!
If one dream doesn’t turn out like they hoped, they conjure up a new one. As I recall my own childhood fantasies, I don’t think a day went by without me imagining my rosy future. And that future was filled with endless possibilities, paths, and opportunities – at least some of which I’d like to think are still attainable.
Oh to be a child again! I don’t think children know any limitations, boundaries or obstacles. It seems to me that they’re quite certain that what they’re endeavoring to do is totally possible for them to accomplish. These little darlings are flexible, adaptable and buoyant. They don’t take matters so seriously. And they have the innate ability to lighten up absolutely everything they encounter. Consequently, these fortunate young ones are able to lessen the oppressiveness, trouble or severity of any situation and make the needed alterations, changes or modifications to reach their goal. I’ve actually just described my daughter!
Perhaps we should ask ourselves, “Where’s our childlike spirit with that unstoppable ambition and boundless curiosity?” I don’t think it’s lost. I think it’s just been covered up with the rigidity, and perhaps comfort, of routine.
May we all cast away our old age blinders and return to the vision, imagination and confidence of our youth. And may this expansive point of view lead us to our own infinite possibilities for success — today.
What inspires you?
What inspires you?
Welcome to my “What inspires you?” blog! I would like to devote this blog to the people or places that inspire us. And if you’re like me, I’m sure there are many other ways you get inspiration, too – such as from songs, books, movies, your pets, and so on.
You’re invited to share about YOUR “special someone, somewhere or something” in the comment box below and tell me why you were inspired! Don’t feel you have to write several paragraphs to participate. Even a one-line explanation is most welcomed!
Let’s celebrate our inspirations together!
♦
Many folks know that my mamma has been a huge inspiration in my life. So she must be the first person I honor in this blog. What inspires me most about my mamma? Her strength, stamina and ability to turn “bad” into “good” to name three!
But her life is also testament to how “a different outlook can change the course of one’s life.” Putting into practice this “mamma lesson” has rescued my own life more than a few times.
My mamma didn’t finish high school. She married and began a family too young, if you consider fifteen too young. She was a stay-at-mom with four children. But her marriage wasn’t destined for eternal bliss. Marital problems eventually led to a divorce and her departure from the only state she had ever lived.
She went on a westbound journey with her youngest child (me) with little money, few clothes, with no idea how she would support us or where we were going. She left everything behind her.
But I later understood that her leaving everything behind included leaving behind old perspectives and old ways of doing things. She had to! She could no longer be dependent on someone else. She began a working career at age forty-two and did whatever she had to do to obtain the skills she needed to be successful – which many times included taking classes at night after working all day. I saw her work her way out of poverty one day at a time and happy every step of the way. She loved learning and gaining new knowledge, skills and abilities.
She believed with all her heart that anything was possible. She had an invincible faith in a divine power. She was confident that our needs would be met – maybe not always the day we wanted, but eventually. She was patient, resolute, and determined.
Her story is not a rags-to-riches one, but I never felt without. My mamma made me feel and believe we had all we needed and wanted.
She has inspired me to also believe that anything is possible if I embrace that perspective and have the faith, patience and determination required to achieve my own dreams.
There are probably many people who have inspired me in some way, but I don’t think there is anyone who has inspired me more than my mamma!
♦
RSS - Posts